Break From You

I was going to do it.

I couldn’t put myself through it anymore. It had to end. But when he rang the doorbell that night and I saw him standing there with a single red rose, I started to fold. His eyes pleaded with me. The lines in his forehead were deep with worry and remorse.

I wanted to stay angry with him. I tried but couldn’t. I had been through so much and had invested too much of myself to give up now. I didn’t know how to be anything but his girlfriend. And I was scared. Maybe it was embarrassment, maybe it was fear, maybe it was love, I don’t know, but I gave in. I hated myself for forgiving so easily, but that’s what I did; I forgave.

I always forgave him.

chapter one

My head was throbbing and it took all I had to concentrate on what he was saying as he rambled on. We were supposed to be having fun. It was supposed to be the night of our lives.

Everything’s perfect, isn’t it? he asked. His words were barely audible over the constant hum of conversation from the other diners seated near us in the old log restaurant. A smile filled his face but I couldn’t reciprocate. Perfect? We were far from perfect.

I questioned why I had even come, why I let him convince me once again.

It was like I was drowning in fear.

Look around us, he said with more enthusiasm than before.

Breaking my gaze from his, I scanned the room. Other homecoming couples filled the adjacent tables, looking flawless and blissful. Girls had their hair in up-dos and boys wore ties the color of their date’s dress. It might have been magical if I hadn’t just had the day from hell.

I glanced towards my best friend, Jackie, and her date, Tim. She looked beautiful in her deep red dress. Her short dark hair was swept back in a butterfly clip. As my eyes caught hers, I smiled, but she frowned and gave me that look, that look that said I let it go too far. She looked away, and a wave of disappointment came over me knowing I had lost her; maybe I had lost me, too. It was good once and that hurt. I wished things hadn’t turned out the way they had.

Are you here with them or me? I was snapped out of my trance by his steady voice. He laughed, his way of trying to keep the mood light. Have you even heard a word I’ve said? My boyfriend of almost a year stared at me, his eyes wide.

Yeah, Drew, I heard you. I’m listening. Screaming inside, but listening, and yet on the surface I showed nothing. I needed to get up the courage to tell him I was done, that it was over. Why it was so hard to say goodbye was beyond me.

Before I had the chance to speak, Drew leaned towards me and I felt his warm breath on my ear. I hate being ignored, he whispered so only I could hear. When he moved away, he smiled, causing a rush of terror to pulse through me.

I stiffened and swallowed hard.

He lifted my chin, met his lips to mine, and gave me a firm kiss. I love you, he said. It might have sounded more like a threat than a promise, but when I caught a glimpse of one of his alluring smiles, I forgot, if only for a brief moment. Somehow he could make everything a distant memory. Maybe that was why I always forgave.

A waiter walked up to our table and cleared his throat, causing Drew to lean away from me. The waiter smiled as he laid down a plate filled with our appetizer.

I smiled back, opening my mouth to say something. But before I could, Drew eyed me, turned back to the waiter, and in a tight voice said, Thank you.

I tried to ignore Drew’s tone, but the guy got the hint and spun around. I watched as he approached the bar lined with ranch hands, men dressed in jeans and boots and wearing cowboy hats. With their elbows on the granite counter top and beers in hand, they were deep in conversation. They blended into the atmosphere of the Inn, employees relaxing after a day’s work on the fifty thousand acre working dude ranch where the restaurant was located. The waiter exchanged a few words with one of the men before placing a drink order and disappearing into the kitchen.

Drew continued to stare at me, and we sat there without exchanging words as I picked up a small plate. My head was still pounding as my unspoken words hung in the air, but instead of telling him how I really felt, I said, I’m sorry about the loss today. I smiled even though it was forced. I know how much the game meant to you. I grabbed a stuffed mushroom and took a bite.

For God’s sake, Brooke, Drew glared at me, and I knew I had said the wrong thing. Can’t you just leave it alone? I blew it, alright? It was your fault, distracting me with your crap.

I sucked in my lower lip and bit down hard. Of course. I’m sorry. I was only trying…

"Well, don’t, because I’m trying to have a nice dinner. With you," he added, raising his voice. I looked around, afraid he was causing a scene, but no one turned towards us. I don’t know why it surprised me; in my experience I had learned people tended to look the other way.

I’m sorry, I repeated, unsure why I kept apologizing. As far as I knew I had done nothing wrong. I closed my eyes and placed the mushroom on my plate. I had lost my appetite.

Forget it, he said and reached for me. Can we please just enjoy the night? His voice was softer as he squeezed my hand, stroking my wrist with his thumb.

I nodded without looking at him and glanced over his shoulder at one of the animal heads hanging on the wall. The eyes glared at me, watching my every move. Even it knew I couldn’t do anything right. When had I gotten so weak? I swallowed whatever pride I had left and blinked back tears, trying hard, so very hard, to hide my shame, my embarrassment, my fear.

I love you, Drew said, tipping his head forward and causing his dark brown hair to fall loosely along his forehead and grazing his brows. He reached up and brushed it back. You’re amazing. He smiled and looked like he was going to say more when one of the football players—a teammate of Drew’s—walked up.

Tough loss today, huh man? The guy patted Drew on the shoulder.

Yeah, pretty much sucked but what’re you gonna do? We’ll kick ass next time, Drew said.

The guy high-fived him and walked off to join his date. When Drew turned back to me, a smile filled his face and softness filled his eyes.

I looked away. I couldn’t believe seconds ago he was yelling at me for making the same comment about the game. What made that guy so special? Why could he get away with it and I couldn’t? What was wrong with me?

Anger and confusion rose inside me. I wanted to say something, but before I worked up the nerve, Drew said, You look so beautiful tonight. His words floated through the air, coming out of nowhere. I don’t know what I’d do without you. I need you. You mean everything to me. His eyes flashed a brilliant blue.

And those words were the reason I had stayed.

But my head continued to throb, and the last thing I wanted was to be sitting in the middle of The Inn—even if it was my favorite restaurant—with him.

I… we both began at the same time.

With speed, he reached out to grab my hand, reminding me of the hold he had on me and stopping me from making any attempt of leaving. I swallowed hard, desperately wanting to break away, but scooted back in my chair instead and waited for him to continue.

His eyes held mine, the ice-blue color reminding me of water’s frozen surface. I could see his control, but I had no idea what lay underneath. I quickly looked down at the table, wondering how I got to this place when he began to speak softly. I want to tell you how much you mean to me. I love you, you know that, right? He didn’t wait for me to answer before he continued, I love you, and you know I’m sorry for-- Suddenly Drew stopped talking, his attention moving past me as a thunderous explosion roared through the once tranquil room.

I spun around. What was that? The sound was so abrupt I dropped my fork, and the jarring clank it made as it hit the floor was lost in the unexpected disruption. The table shook. The ice clinked against the edge of the water glasses. I took in a sharp breath and held it as I sat numbed.

An ear-splitting scream pierced the eerie silence that followed…then nothing.

Everyone sat fixed to their chairs, suspended in fear as they searched the room, trying to figure out what happened. I exchanged a look with Drew. He shrugged his shoulders as if to say I don’t know, and although he appeared calm, I could see the worry hidden in his face. It scared me even more than I already was.

Within seconds the alarms started to blare. The obnoxious sound was deafening and echoed through my already throbbing head. I looked from person to person as I tried to figure out what was going on. It could have been anything, but I knew it wasn’t everyday a kitchen sounded like it had just exploded.

Fire! a man shouted, and then I saw some guy burst from the kitchen and past the bar. Everyone out! The man whipped around, and I heard him yell, I need help … before his words were absorbed in the noise.

I panicked as the room around me went into instant pandemonium. Diners leaped from their seats and bolted for the nearest exit. My classmates grabbed their date’s hands and dragged them out of the building. The men at the bar were already gone. I knew I needed to get out, too, but I was having a hard time processing my thoughts. The intense pain that pounded against my skull made it impossible to think straight.

Knowing I had to do something, I jumped up, knocking my chair over in the process. It banged against the hardwood floor, only adding to the disruption and chaos. As I held on to the edge of the table, I tried to take a step. Confined by shock and overwhelmed with fear, I found that I couldn’t move once again. I just stood there as the room began to fill with smoke. It was slow at first, just a little foggy, but it didn’t take long for it to bellow in and deplete the room of oxygen. My lungs constricted, and it became a chore just to inhale. I gasped and began coughing, hyperventilating instead of breathing.

My eyes stung and started to water, making it harder and harder to get a handle on things. I had to compose myself and get a grip. I held onto the edge of the table, finding whatever strength I had. With each careful step, I tried to make my way around and get to Drew.

Suddenly, the lights went out, blanketing the room in absolute blackness.

Drew, I screamed as flames appeared from out of nowhere. The old, dried logs caught fire without difficulty, and in no time, the entire building was burning.

I screamed, again. I know I screamed again, but it didn’t matter. No one was going to hear me. My hoarse voice wasn’t loud enough to compete with the noise of the fire. The wood was crackling like a fire inside one huge fireplace, and I was stuck in the middle of it. Plates were breaking, and chairs crashed to the ground. The grating sounds echoed throughout the room, and I wasn’t sure if it was actual noise or just the pounding in my head.

I didn’t know which way I should have been going. I patted the table in a frantic attempt to find Drew, but I ended up grabbing only the empty air around me, and my heart sank to my stomach. As I made my way around, I lost my footing and fell to the ground with nothing to catch me. My head slammed against the hard wooden floor. I ignored the pain that rushed through me, pushing it aside as I had gotten used to doing.

I tried to get up but couldn’t. I was stuck and alone, and Drew was nowhere around to help me. I couldn’t even catch the slightest of breaths since I was coughing so much. The air was a little better on the floor, but my lungs were already filled with smoke, and the smell was overwhelming. It reeked of God knows what. It was awful. I always thought of a fire as smelling good, but that was only when it was burning wood. Everything else was rank.

Tears filled my eyes and streamed down my already damp face. I was going to die. Right there in the middle of the Inn, I was going to die. The night had gone from bad to worse, starting out as a lousy dream and quickly turning into the world’s worst nightmare. And I was living it, or at this point, dying in it.

I needed to get out.

I needed to get out…Now!

With one last-ditch effort, I tried to pull myself up off the floor. Reaching around, I found a chair and used that to drag myself along. I got half way up and was stopped by a horrible cracking sound. Faltering, I screamed and felt hands on my back as someone shoved me. I was sent airborne and once again hit the ground head first. I think that time I might have actually seen stars.

I believe I was out for only a second, but I couldn’t be sure. When I came to, I tried with a desperate need to find something, anything. What I found surprised me. I reached out and was greeted by a hand; a strong, supportive hand. It pulled me up. I tripped over my heels and started to go down again. But somehow I didn’t. I was lifted up and swung into someone’s strong hold. With what felt like little effort, he carried me though the darkness and out of the building.

Wrapped in the stranger’s arms was the first time I had ever felt so safe. I looked up, and in the orange glow of the fire, I gazed into the deepest, green eyes I had ever seen.

Then everything went black.

chapter two

Cooper West had a strong hold on the girl as he carried her away from the burning restaurant. The cut on her head was bleeding badly, and he feared the worst. He tried to stay in control, but underneath his calm poise, he was in a complete frenzy. Cooper needed to get her help and soon, but as he scanned the disorganized crowd, he realized she wasn’t the only one who needed help.

The once calm area surrounding The Inn and main lodge of the dude ranch was in complete disarray. Girls sobbed in each other’s arms. Guys held on tightly to their dates. Homecoming attire was torn, filthy, and covered in soot. People were running in all directions. There wasn’t any control.

Hoping someone had called nine-one-one, Cooper began searching the area. He couldn’t find his dad anywhere and started to panic. They had gotten separated after the fire broke out. His dad went one way, and Cooper ended up having to backtrack through the building in the opposite direction. He was sure his dad made it out. He was sure he was okay; he had to be. As Cooper continued to search, he could feel his heart rate rising and dread filling every inch of him.

Cooper. He heard a voice in the distance, barely audible above all the noise.

When he turned, he saw his dad waving. Cooper tried to motion him over, but his dad held up his index finger, indicating he’d be there in a few minutes. The relief that had filled Cooper only moments ago was now replaced with anger. All of his past came barreling back at once, reminding Cooper of the other times his father left him stranded.

Cooper looked at the girl he held in his arms. He knew he needed to stop the bleeding but wasn’t sure how. After weighing his non-existent options, he decided to rip the bottom of his already torn t-shirt and press it to her wound. He then cradled the girl against his chest and lowered her onto his lap as he collapsed to his knees.

He was exhausted. Not only had he just crawled from a burning building with a girl in his arms, but he had spent the entire day working at his new job on the dude ranch. The labor was endless. Cooper hated it but didn’t have a choice since his mom, tired of the mistakes he had made and unbeknownst to him, had worked out an agreement with his estranged dad and sent Cooper to live with his dad on the ranch. Now, he sat there with not only the sun, the dirt, and the wind all embedded into his skin but also the soot and ash. What a day.

He let out a huge sigh. His head was throbbing, his lungs were stinging, and his body was beaten, but none of that mattered. He was worried about the girl. She was limp in his arms and didn’t weigh much of anything. Her battered body was caked with grime. Sandy brown hair hung tangled and matted in a mess down her neck while some of the stray ends wisped across the pale skin of her face and framed her thin jaw line. But Cooper feared the fire wasn’t the only thing that had hurt her. He noticed aging bruises peeking out from under her torn dress and felt a bump on the back of her head that he didn’t think was new. He questioned what had happened to her, wondered who had hurt her.

He pulled the girl closer to his chest as he continued to apply pressure to her head wound. Her soft hair fell near his face, and through the overwhelming stench of the fire, he could smell the soft scent of vanilla and roses. The girl let out a soft moan, but she didn’t open her eyes. Cooper wondered what color they were, figuring they had to be just as beautiful as she was. He wiped some of the dirt from her forehead and brushed a strand of hair out of her face.

He was mesmerized by her, but he didn’t know why. There was something about her that had drawn him in from the moment she walked into the restaurant. She had stood out among the crowd and caught his eye in her vivid green dress. The clingy material hugged her athletic frame as she made her way to her table. She looked his age, but he didn’t know her since he hadn’t started at the local school yet. She hadn’t noticed him, he was sure of that. Although he had been sitting at the bar with his dad and the other ranch hands where they were hard to miss, she never looked. Her focus was on the boy she had been with. Cooper wanted to go up and start talking to her. He would have done it, too, if he didn’t get such a negative vibe from the guy she was with. But more than that, it was homecoming, and he didn’t think she would have taken to his interrupting her date very well. Besides, he was at Creek for a second chance, hoping to leave trouble behind, not cause it.

The unbelievable heat from the flames warmed the cool fall air around Cooper. Everything was lit up in a bright orange glow as the burning logs crackled and snapped around him. The fire was still in full force. Sparks were shooting high into the sky as the building started to cave in on itself and crash to the ground.

Where’s help? he asked aloud. What’s taking so long?

Cooper leaned his head back to look up to the sky. He couldn’t see the stars through the intensity of the flames. He struggled to take a deep breath in between the coughing fits. The smoke filled his lungs and tightened his chest. It had been one hell of a night, and he was beginning to think the so-called quiet town of Creek was anything but.

Sirens filled the air. Finally. Their piercing tempo blared louder than the ruckus from the fire. Relief filled Cooper as help arrived. He watched as men and women dressed in blue tactical clothing jumped from their emergency vehicles. Within minutes, the chaos started to look like a choreographed drill team with some people going one way while others went a different way, each weaving around each other.

A fire tanker pulled up on the scene and a group of firemen began spraying down the building. The process was slow and appeared almost worthless since the building was pretty much destroyed. Cooper was sure they wouldn’t be able to salvage much of The Inn since the emergency help took some time to arrive. Cooper guessed that was what happened when things were so spread out in such a small town. The most he could do was pray everyone made it out of the burning building alive and that maybe the fire department could save the still-standing main lodge.

Even though the fire was so vicious, Cooper was amazed at how beautiful it was. The orange, red glow was mesmerizing as it reached high towards the sky. The flames seemed to flit about, doing the waltz, or even the jitterbug. Up and down, left to right they moved in a rhythmic motion. Cooper thought about how impossible it was to be staring at something so gorgeous yet completely and utterly appalling. It was entirely dangerous, endlessly destructive, yet untroubled and astonishing. It contained way too much evil, and at the same time, looked so honest.

Cooper leaned back, trying hard to ignore the throbbing in his leg. He searched the crowd once again with an anxious desire to find his dad. He had lost track of him. West, as everyone called his dad, must have wandered off to help other people. Cooper’s busted body ached with even more anger. Once again Cooper felt like he was left to fend for himself. He fought back his hurt. He hated to admit it, but right then he needed his dad.

chapter three

I blinked as I tried to focus on something, anything. The world spun around me. My body ached, my chest burned, and my head throbbed in complete and utter pain. I had no idea what had happened, where I was. The only thing I knew for sure was that I was hurting.

I had to get up. I needed to pull myself together and move, but someone wasn’t letting me. Wrapped in strong arms, I was held in place with a determination I had never encountered before. I glanced up, hoping to see Drew, but I knew deep down it wasn’t him; I had never felt that safe in his arms. I struggled, wanting so desperately to move away from the stranger. Even though I felt safe, I knew how bad it could be.

You’re going to be okay, an unfamiliar voice promised. They’ll be here soon.

I didn’t know who they were. I wanted to ask but was having trouble connecting my thoughts and forming words. My head