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    Changing Lives Through Counseling
    Changing Lives Through Counseling
    Changing Lives Through Counseling
    Ebook162 pages2 hours

    Changing Lives Through Counseling

    By Michael Richard Craig

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    About this ebook

    The information provided in this book is neither complete nor comprehensive. It is not designed to be all encompassing. Although, the contents are directed to the pastoral or Christian counselor, the purpose is to provide help to all counselors (from the beginner to the well-seasoned therapist), with helpful but brief thoughts about essential issues that take place between a counselor and counselee. I believe, that whatever truth is uncovered and made applicable to helping others through counseling is available for all to use, regardless of beliefs. These 101 concepts are a core sampling of the unlimited array of thoughts available to the pastoral counselor. What is pastoral counseling? Wayne E. Oates describes it best in his book, Pastoral Counseling. “It is acknowledging God as the third person in the counseling session, believing in the reality of God, and allowing conversation about faith in God. All three are characteristics that make counseling pastoral.”

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMichael Richard Craig
    Release dateNov 4, 2012
    ISBN9781301784875
    Changing Lives Through Counseling
    Author

    Michael Richard Craig

    I am an artist, illustrator and author, as well as, an orb hunter/researcher. Please click on the links provided below for all the details. Thank you!

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      Book preview

      Changing Lives Through Counseling - Michael Richard Craig

      DEDICATION

      This book is dedicated to all those who desire to help others find their way.

      ACKNOWLEDGMENTS

      Special thanks to all those who have given me wise counsel and helped me find my way. Some of those who were of special significance are many of my school teachers, from elementary through graduate school, Mr. Marc Summers, Dr. R.L. Summers, Dr. Wallace Carr, Dr. Knox Chamblin, Dr. Kim Nielson, Dr. R.C. Sproul, Dr. D. James Kennedy. Also, I would like to thank U.S. Navy Chaplain Stan Beach, ret., Grand Master Fusei Kise, Bill and Jane Woleben (my in-laws), my father and mother, Richard W. Craig Jr. and Catherine B. Craig, and most of all my wife, Carol and our sons Jonathan and Stephen.

      Lastly, I wish to thank my editor, Russell Ward (www.russellward.com), for his invaluable contributions toward this book’s completion.

      PREFACE

      The information provided in this book is neither complete nor comprehensive. It is not designed to be all encompassing. Although, the contents are directed to the pastoral or Christian counselor, the purpose is to provide help to all counselors¬ (from the beginner to the well-seasoned therapist), with helpful but brief thoughts about essential issues that take place between a counselor and counselee. I believe, that whatever truth is uncovered and made applicable to helping others through counseling is available for all to use, regardless of beliefs. May you find this book a usable reference and welcomed compliment to materials you already use and the knowledge you already have.

      For consistency and convenience, he, his, & him are being used to represent both sexes.

      Section I: [1-25]

      Feeling and Thinking

      1

      Verbal vs. Nonverbal Communication

      _______

      Recognize in all counseling sessions that two distinct yet separate events take place at the same time: 1) the words spoken by the counselee and 2) and his nonverbal communication. These two events are important to recognize as the counseling session unfolds.

      _______

      To know the counselee is to understand the meaning of the words he uses.

      _______

      It is important you correctly interpret the words used by the counselee. Words have different meanings to different people. Make sure you stop and ask what particular words mean when spoken by the counselee. Don't assume when an individual uses a word that you understand his intended meaning. Stop and clarify the meaning, so you are on the same page before you continue. To know the counselee is to understand the meaning of the words he uses.

      It is equally important that you are aware of the counselee's nonverbal communication. Nonverbal communication can include the counselee's appearance, emotions, affect, smell, facial expressions, movements, voice inflection and tone. Recognizing this nonverbal communication will help you better understand the counselee.

      To provide the best help, you must be aware of all forms of communication used by the counselee, not just the words.

      ILLUSTRATION: If the person cries, but tells you he is happy, you may be confused about how to interpret the counselee's emotional state. Stop the session and ask the counselee to help you sift through the mixed signals sent to you. Then you can help him work through or better understand the situation.

      APPLICATION: Address what appears to be a conflict in words and actions. If you don't, you may not understand the counselee and may not be able to address the real concern and provide important help.

      2

      Know What to Say and Do

      _______

      The easiest method for what to say and do is to focus and respond to the counselee's replies. For instance, if a person is silent and you do not know how to respond, simply recognize the silence. Point this out to the counselee and ask what meaning he gives to the silence. Perhaps he is afraid to move forward in the session because something is too painful. Or if the client laughs at what seems an inappropriate moment, point it out and say I noticed you laughed. Spend time exploring what caused him to laugh (as the context did not warrant laughter).

      _______

      The easiest method for what to say and do is to focus and respond to the indicators in front of you, the counselee’s responses

      _______

      Do not let your emotions take control of the direction of the session. For instance, not only does the counselee provide information for you to consider - you need be aware of your own feelings and responses toward the counselee. If you feel bored or confused with what the counselee is saying, it might be best to mention your feelings to the counselee. This can help the counselee gain a realistic picture of how he may be perceived by others.

      Be aware of your emotional state when listening to a counselee's reactions and responses. This is a simple method to know how to respond during the session.

      ILLUSTRATION: Suppose the counselee becomes angry and verbally attacks you though you feel you have done nothing to cause such a reaction. What do you do? How do you react or respond?

      APPLICATION: A helpful way to respond - without taking their reaction personally - is to point out the negative behavior. You might say, I can see you are angry since you are verbally attacking me, though I don't believe I have done anything to set you off. What do you think this means? What is your outburst telling you?

      3

      Why Does the Counselee Feel Pain in a Particular Area of His Body?

      When a counselee feels pain look for reasons why he hurts in a specific part of his body or is sick with an ailment.

      _______

      Where a person feels pain on or in his body can be a helpful avenue for getting to the real problem.

      _______

      For instance, if the counselee's hand is hurting, did he do something with his hand he feels was wrong? If his leg hurts, did something significant happen centered around his leg? If he has an eye problem, what has he experienced that can account for this? If a person feels sick to his stomach, how can this be better understood if it is not from a physical reason?

      Where a person experiences pain on or in his body can be a helpful avenue for getting to the real problem underlying his physical symptoms. Even if his pain is centered around a physical problem a non-physical cause should be considered.

      ILLUSTRATION: An individual tells you he has continuous inner ear pain. The doctor cannot find any physical cause for him to feel the pain.

      APPLICATION: When the counselee tells you about his ear pain begin to explore what reasons might account for this pain. After further discussion, he tells you how his mother yelled at him that he would never amount to anything. When you learn this, you are better able to develop a plan to help the counselee begin to deal differently with his reaction to his painful history.

      Below are a number of ideas which you can use to help the counselee deal with the effect his screaming mother has had upon him.

      1. Listen to and let him tell his story.

      2. Explore why his mother yelled at him.

      3. Help him realize what is true and not true about the message he received from the screaming mother.

      4. Explore how this made him feel.

      5. Guide him to learn new ways to respond to how he feels about his mother's screaming.

      6. Help him take responsibility for his present ability to learn new ways to respond to her screaming compared to his past reactions.

      4

      Feelings are in Discussing the Details of the Counselee's Experiences

      _______

      A counselee cannot be helped unless he reveals his true feelings. This is especially true for the elderly and those dealing with death or Post-Traumatic Stress Syndrome. When the details are revealed, true feelings can be explored

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