Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"
Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"
Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"
Ebook131 pages1 hour

Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"

Rating: 0 out of 5 stars

()

Read preview

About this ebook

"Alright---YOU WIN---bend over so we can begin the very lengthy and difficult process of collecting your highly valuable Facebook data points, and commence with the Ultimate Pinnacle of Human Achievement; the balancing of YOUR algorithm!"

LanguageEnglish
Release dateDec 8, 2012
ISBN9781301031894
Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"

Related to Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"

Related ebooks

Humor & Satire For You

View More

Related articles

Related categories

Reviews for Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star"

Rating: 0 out of 5 stars
0 ratings

0 ratings0 reviews

What did you think?

Tap to rate

Review must be at least 10 words

    Book preview

    Johnny Dirtbag "Movie Star" - Hunter S. Anton

    JOHNNY

    DIRTBAG

    "MOVIE STAR"

    A N o v e l

    Hunter S. Anton

    Smashwords Edition

    Copyright 2012 by Hunter S. Anton

    All Rights Reserved

    ***~~~***

    PLEASE TAKE NOTICE:

    JOHNNY DIRTBAG Movie Star is an original work of fiction, based upon an original screenplay written in 1993, entitled Johnny Dirtbag; by the aforesaid author and registered with the Library of Congress in 1993. The cataloging-in-registration data is on file with the Library of Congress of the U.S. Copyright Office in Washington D.C.

    All of the characters and events in this book are fictitious, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.

    This novel is copyright 2012; by the aforesaid author. All Rights Therein; Are Reserved By The Aforesaid Author. Executed; this 25th day of November, 2012.

    ***~~***

    P r o l o g u e

    BEHOLD:

    Once upon a time, in the tiny little hamlet of Hollywood; there was a movie producer who wanted to give his daughter, the ultimate college graduation present…

    "The Gift of STARDOM"

    ***~~~***

    C H A P T E R 1

    If there be any decency remaining in this god-forsaken town; we pray to the heavens it come forth now; to reject this nominee on the very threshold of his launch into that great immortal…

    Ok, so here we are; on location, and at; the filming of, Johnny Dirtbag’s latest action feature; High-Speed Justice.

    Well, well, well. What is this? It does look like a movie set. Is that a plane? Why yes, it is…and it seems there are two stuntmen working on the details of a stunt involving that plane. Their names are Pete and Mark, and they are rivals for top stuntman. They watch as a patrol car arrives with a small trailer attached, carrying a portable toilet.

    Pete points at the plane. How fast that thing gonna be going? Mark has a bit of a smirk on his face. Too fast for you? This is just what Pete has been waiting for…

    Johnny kisses Kristi today---it’s bugging you, ain’t it? The smirk leaves Mark’s face, it’s her job. Pete loves it and starts to dig in, oh really---doesn’t bother you a bit, does it? Sure---she’ll be standing there---he’ll put his arms around her---then pull her closer to him---then kiss her---they’ll have to do it over and over, and over again---from all different angles---HER FIRST SCREEN KISS---it won’t mean a thing to her!

    Mark pretends he’s not affected, She’s an actress---all in a day’s work. Pete goes in for the kill, Yeah you’re right---he’s a movie star---cameras flashing all over the place---people staring at her---she won’t be affected at all!

    Mark tries to convince himself, Her dad’s the producer, she’s seen this all before. Pete continues the attack. This is his first Big Time project, it’s a big deal, and you bet he’s excited, too!

    Mark composes himself and fires back, She doesn’t like Johnny in the least. Hates him huh? Mark thinks he has him now, Yup. Pete tilts his head, like in deep thought, Hate’s a very strong emotion---boy---if you could switch love for hate---she’d be crazy about him! All of a sudden there is a loud explosion as the portable toilet explodes, leaving excrement on Mark and Pete. That SON OF A BITCH!!!

    ***~~~***

    C H A P T E R 2

    An Independent Producer and his money are soon parted… …

    Fred Plowman had been an independent producer of movies for some time, but he had never done a major production like the one he has now. He did not pay attention to the naysayers who advised against such a course of action.

    He is standing in his office; a trailer parked on the set, looking out his window. There is a parking spot reserved for him titled, Producer. Parked in that spot is a gleaming silver vintage Rolls Royce, the license plate bearing, PRODUCER 1.

    Fred sits down at his desk and picks up a pen. On his desk is a graduation picture of his daughter, Kristi. His accountant, Clifford, enters his office and sees a document on the desk and grabs his arm. Don’t sign, he pleads. The startled Fred says, Can’t we hold the costs down?

    His accountant warns, Sign that, and you could lose everything you own! Clifford Gaines has been a friend and confidant to Fred for a very long time; and Fred knows that when Clifford is concerned about something, it should be taken very seriously.

    Producer Fred looks intently at his friend the accountant, Not everything---whatever happens, I’ll still have my Rolls. The accountant puts his head down, as the Producer signs the document, and both are shaken by what sounds like a huge car crash. They race out of the office to find the Rolls", untouched.

    ***~~~***

    C H A P T E R 3

    Making a movie IS AN ACT OF WAR, and war requires boots on the ground. You know; the ones who actually have to do the things necessary to have something in the view finder when the camera starts rolling

    One such mid-level person is the first assistant director. The duties could be anything from picking up laundry, to directing a pick-up shot, and this one is Rick Kent. As the 1st Assistant Director, it is his job to ensure that everything is ready, or about to be ready for filming a scene on schedule. Wait a second; this is a Johnny Dirtbag movie…

    Rick spots a car that is supposed to be used in the scene, but it looks like it has just been wrecked. What happened to that car? Looks bad, but---we haven’t touched it", replies Rusty Worth the stunt coordinator and a man who has been around the block a few too many times with the likes of Johnny Dirtbag.

    Rick is exasperated, It can’t be wrecked already! We have to shoot it first---THEN you guys can wreck it! Look, we don’t wreck’em till you tell us, we’ll find you another car, said Rusty, wishing he wasn’t craving alcohol, as it was so hard for him to quit drinking, and some may gather that being in positions of responsibility on a Johnny Dirtbag movie, might make it just a tad difficult to abstain from alcohol.

    ***~~~***

    C H A P T E R 4

    When the Independent Producers are led into the Coliseums of the Giant Studios, how do those Studios know which Independents to bet on? Which projects should they pass on, or give the green light? How will they maneuver these independent producers, who have the audacity to compete with the majors…what’s in it for them? Well, give an independent producer enough rope…

    The man in charge at Olympus Studios of keeping an eye on Johnny’s movie; is Vice-President Thomas Greed. Of course if something were to go wrong on this movie, Fred the Independent Producer, would be forced to let Olympus Studios take over; at a great loss for our dear Fred, but a rather fortuitous event for Olympus Studios, who always manages to profit greatly from the misfortunes of others; specifically these independent types.

    Will it happen again this time, like it has so many times in the past? As Vice-President of Olympus Studios, Mr. Greed will be paying rather close attention to this independent producer and his success, for the good of the film; of course.

    VP Greed enters the CEO’s office, along with his assistant. You wanted to see me sir? The CEO smiled slightly, Have a seat Thomas. The VP sits down, while the assistant remains standing.

    The CEO points to a computer screen, which monitors the price of the Studio’s stock, which shows $9.99. You’re the VP of Risk Analysis, what the hell is wrong? Visibly uncomfortable, the VP smiled, The Street has not just appreciated all the new changes we’ve implemented---I’m sure they’ll get it, soon! The CEO leans back in his chair, I think the board of directors will buy that---how’s Johnny’s movie coming?

    The VP looks up at the ceiling. Over budget, way over budget, we may be taking control from that producer even sooner than we thought---a lot more profit for the studio. The CEO smiles broadly. How unfortunate---oh by the way---I should make my decision on those projects you recommended, soon.

    CEO Robert Alias, was some piece of work, his checkered past wove through many financial escapades that somehow managed to elude the business press. Did he have an MBA and Law Degree from a prestigious university, or did he even have a GED? Fortunately for Mr. Alias, no one was motivated to check, but then again; maybe he did?

    ***~~~***

    C H A P T E R 5

    Who wouldn’t want to be intentionally set on fire?

    To risk one’s life and limb just to make a scene work? Well… at least on a film set, they are treated fairly well; they are professionals, aren’t they…

    In what might be called the stuntmen’s area of the location, Rusty takes off his hat and puts some money in it, then makes his way among the stuntmen and stunt crew. This is for Dave and his family.

    Pete puts some money in the hat. When’s Old Dynamite Dave getting out of the hospital? Rusty continues passing the hat. Any day now."

    Mark puts some money in the hat. How about asking the guy who put him there for a donation?

    Being the 1st Assistant Director is always a challenge on a movie Johnny has anything to do with…, and right now the challenge for Rick Kent, is to find a car to use to replace the one that was supposed to be used, but is inexplicably,

    Enjoying the preview?
    Page 1 of 1