Practicing Life: A Personal Guide to Success and Happiness

you.

PROLOGUE

They call what a lawyer does, the practice of law , and this even after a four year college degree and three years of law school resulting in a Juris Doctor degree and after years of doing whatever lawyers do, but we will get to what lawyers do later. Where does practice makes perfect come in, if at all? I largely accept this practice terminology. I practiced approximately 30 years and never got perfect. Perhaps, in part, that is because I always said, when asked my specialty, that I specialized in non-recurring matters.

I am writing this book with the hindsight of seventy-two years (as of August 29, 2012) of living and obviously with a lifetime of experiences some of which I think you will enjoy and perhaps even gain some benefit from in your practice of life (and law/ business for all readers who may be lawyers or business people).

One deficiency I always considered that I had in my education, and hence I perceived in my quality (not quantity) of education, was that it was more in a technical field than in liberal arts. I am not complaining, mind you, about my education. I fully appreciated it, but my first college degree was in business (with a major in marketing and a minor in economics), and then I added an MBA (Master of Business Administration) before tacking on the JD (Juris Doctor). So, in retirement, I decided to go back to school on my own and remedy the perceived quality deficiency. For well over three years I read approximately a book a day (through a combination of reading and listening on my Kindle electronic book reader, which, by the way, I love). I started on the Bible (as a youth, I actually had been an acolyte in the Episcopal church) and read it from cover to cover, and continued with science versions of creation, philosophy of all kinds, classical literature of all kinds, including Greek, Roman, Eastern, European, English, American and Russian, studies of comparative cultures and religions, poetry (forced myself a lot on this one) and finally mysteries and thrillers when I ran out of the others. I never got perfect under this method either, but this broad reading background helped (at least in my opinion) a great deal in inspiring me and enabling me to write this book.

A major segment of the book is about the lives and adventures of two protagonists. The two protagonists are yours truly and my future partner and lifelong friend, Hamid Hashemi and his lovely and talented wife, Deane.

The Hashemi segment explores our growing up separately in different countries, the strange circumstances (including the Iranian revolution) bringing about our meeting, and the later mixing of our backgrounds and cultures in friendship and business for the betterment of both. In fact, only through this association did I get to explore fully and successfully my always existent desire to be an entrepreneur and businessman. Thanks, Hamid. The Hashemi segment expands to cover our achievement, together and separately, of the American dream and our subsequent building of a highly respected movie theater business, Muvico. The story goes on to describe Muvico’s midstream change of course and our ouster through, in my opinion, an ill-conceived combination of one business partner, once a good friend, and the other remaining venture capitalist (sometimes abbreviated as VC) business partners. The book then ends with a final comeback and victory by the good guys and then some reflections and evaluations and narratives as to where the players are now. Is America a GREAT country or what? Oh, by the way, we will also have some good times and laughs along the way as well as some useful insights on maximizing productivity in work and enjoyment of life all hard learned over past 72 years and some humorous memories of growing up in the 1940’s and 1950’s, but first, a word from our sponsors so to speak.

WARNING!!! The rest of this chapter contains the necessary but perhaps boring disclaimers and explanations. Please read this material carefully. There will be a test!

The Hashemi/Muvico segment of the book is based on the facts as I understand them. Some facts were purposely withheld from me as you will see and are still being withheld from me by my former friend and business partners. As to these missing facts, I have filled them in to complete the story with what I believe is my fair comment and opinions based on known facts, my experience in the situation and prior knowledge of the participants and their motives, and the outcomes for the various participants. My intent in this book is only to tell my story as I remember it, including the opinions of mine and what I think is fair comment on all of the forgoing. I do not intend to harm anyone thereby. If I do, I apologize. Furthermore as a further full disclaimer, I want the reader to understand that I am not and the publisher is not providing any legal, other professional advice or any other advice. Neither I, as the author, nor the publisher shall be held responsible for any litigation, injuries or damages, real or imagined, resulting, in any manner and to any extent, from the contents of this book. The reader should always seek the appropriate advice of a qualified professional for all legal, other profession matters and all other matters in general before acting.

One other disclaimer is on gender usage. In the interest of simplifying sentence structure and construction, I have mostly adopted the masculine references including pronouns (e.g., he, his, and him). Also, I did so because, as Popeye the sailor said, I am what I am. No disrespect whatsoever is intended to the opposite gender. After all, I have my lovely wife and daughter and beautiful and intelligent granddaughters that I want to see grow up to be exactly what they want to be without any discrimination!!!

You will also see that I have kept the four letter words out of the book. I have done this for two reasons. The first is that I do not normally use these words (special occasions perhaps excepted) and prefer more to the point and descriptive adjectives and other parts of speech. The second reason is that I am just not the kind of person that gets away with using them without just seeming crude and vulgar. I have seen people who can use these words and seem merely colorful or animated. My partner is one of those people. I am not one of these people and I know it. Therefore, parents, you may, on this count anyway, wholeheartedly recommend this book to your children.

Since I will be from time to time (but not overly so) inserting my views on productivity, effectiveness and efficiency in my practice of law and life and how I really got my practice humming, I think it only fair for you to know upfront (and good perspective for you to use in judging for yourselves the value of what I will be saying) that it is my unabashed belief in the need for preserving and extending our government and economy as originally conceived by our Country’s founders and which, fortunately, in significant part still exists today.

We, of course, have, as a form of government, a republic and are not a pure democracy, which can exist only in a relatively small society where direct participation by all may be possible as perhaps was the case in ancient Athens, at least for its citizens. Just as obviously, these terms of republic and democracy, have no direct correspondence to our modern Democrat or Republican political parties. I believe that our form of government under the established rule of law and our free enterprise economic system provide the greatest degree of personal freedom and economic prosperity for the greatest number of people. In this regard and otherwise, I readily refer readers to all of the works of Ayn Rand. She actually experienced living under the Russian failed experiment in Communism and left after seeing how stifling personally and economically the system was in operation. Read whatever else you want please, but read her books also if you have not already. You will be happy you did. I also recommend more on the pure economics side, Wealth of Nations by Adam Smith.

Further, I also believe the books described above, along with civics courses on our form of government and on our free enterprise system and how they work and the benefits they produce, should be required more prominently early on in all schools. After these courses on civics and free enterprise are taught, courses should be taught on comparative systems of government and economics and how they work and the benefits they have produced. I am not aware of any competing systems that have produced the same wide spread degree of personal freedoms and economic prosperity as our own systems. I am far from being an ideologue or Xenophobe and try to keep an open mind at all times; however, these observations, it seems to me, have stood the test of time and have proven out over the years. There never has been a society built on the concept of Utopia that really worked as a practical matter in the long run. I further think that most people respond best to the cold logic of practicality and what really works in the real world especially when the rubber hits the road. A universal truth, of course, is that there is no free lunch. No stable and long term society has been built upon taking from one person his earnings and giving it to another who has not earned it. The producer thinks, rightfully, that he has been put upon and the taker is not grateful and learns nothing about how to earn his own living. Think foreign aid here. The same principle applies domestically. However, I think that all people, once the truth is made known, are more than willing to leave behind unsuccessful theories of how to organize society and the means of production no matter how altruistic or emotionally alluring the theories may first seem in pure thought or on paper. Having stood the test of time, our political and economic systems ring as true as the Liberty Bell itself was designed to do.

By the established rule of law, I mean the certainty that our laws, as they may exist from time to time, will be fairly and fully enforced by impartial judges in favor of and against all people, no matter whom they are or where they come from, and without any political or other bias. Many philosophers and economists have said words to the effect, That government is best that governs least. I believe that is mostly true today because our governmental and economic operating systems are in some great measure institutionalized and thus self-operating and self-correcting if left alone; however, that does not mean that no new governmental regulation should be permitted concerning our economic system or otherwise. To the contrary, that is where the republican form of government comes in through laws enacted by the popularly elected representatives of the people for the good of the people. The pendulum will swing one way or the other from time to time to the like or dislike of particular factions of the people, but it has always managed, given enough time, to swing both ways in accord with the will of the people. The only problem, as I see it, is that if the pendulum swings excessively too far in one direction, a residue sometimes is left leaving an entrenched law or government program that may be burdensome and costly and hard to remove even when the pendulum swings back. This can be the case if the previous excessive law or program has become so entrenched that it acts as a built in stop to the swing back of the pendulum even as against the will of the current voting people. Folks, this can happen both ways; take for example, universal, governmentally supplied health care for the one side and perceived lack of sufficient gun control for the other side. Ultimately, it is in an educated people in which my faith is placed to even out these potential excesses.

As Winston Churchill in effect said about Democracy in general (not in contrast to our republican form of government), It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all of the others that have been tried. Abraham Lincoln also got it right when he also said in effect, You can fool all of the people some of the time and you can fool some of the people all of the time, but you cannot fool all of the people all of the time.

Sure, my parents did teach me not to talk about politics or religion in polite conversation; however, since I already transgressed a little on politics, I will say only one thing about religion. I think religion is a matter totally up to the individual without ridicule or hindrance. Our Constitution, rightfully, of course, guarantees that much and more in our daily lives. I know wars have been fought over religion and I have no intention of going there.

Here endth the Epistle (and disclaimers/explanations) according to Mike.

If you made it through all the foregoing disclaimers and the mini soapbox side tour, you have it made from here on out. I promise hereafter that the book will not be preachy or political or anything like that. How could it be with lines such as, Hot Dog, my Grandkids get my flashlights?

No, I am not still practicing law: however I am still practicing life (without perfection), but with much enjoyment. I hope you keep at it too! Perhaps you will do better and get the practice to the point of perfection.

Again, this book is also to impart a few pearls and nuggets of wisdom for your consideration before I get up on the porch for the last time and pass the baton on to my son and daughter and others in their generation to run with the big dogs and before I figuratively ride out into the sunset and out of memory (I watched a lot of Westerns). Not to worry family! I still have a few big dog runs left in me. To paraphrase the Toby Keith song , I may not be as good as I once was, but I am as good once as I ever was, so if you are looking for a fight tonight, those guys do not look all that tough!. I realize the trick is in knowing when you have lost that half step even for the once and get up on the porch before that happens. I think it only natural that a person, after working a lifetime and being associated with the work until it almost becomes a part of the identification of the person (the who I am element, e.g., Mike Melvin, lawyer/businessman), finds it hard to hang up the spurs. If I do not recognize that time, however, I am sure my good wife will give me her warm understanding smile and gently tell me that the time has come to stay on the porch. Thanks, Joanie! I will accept your advice and go into that good night without too much rage, rage, rage. At that time, I will be happy in the rocking chair with her and the memories of the good life we had and the visions of the good life with each other and our children and grandchildren and extended family and friends yet to come, BUT, PLEASE, just not quite yet. I have some more full scale practicing of life to do! By the way, I have extreme confidence in the competence of my daughter and son and their generation and look forward to their reign.

Now, on to the previously promised good times and laughs and, hopefully, useful insights on maximizing productivity in work and enjoyment of work and life, all hard learned over past 72 years. Also, on to some humorous memories of growing up in the 1940’s and 1950’s, all going into what made me what I became.

CHAPTER 1.

MIKE BECOMING MIKE

Before exploring my growing up experiences and seeing how they influenced my career choices and later life in general, I think it is important for you to keep in mind that the practice of law had not always been something I knew I wanted to do or even knew I was destined to do. In fact, as you will see, at least at the outset of my practice of law, I was not even all that happy with it. It was OK and fairly lucrative, but not all that satisfying. However, practicing law was something I became trained to do and the longer I kept at it, the better I got. Moreover, the better I got, the more satisfying the practice of law itself became. I even became good enough at it to net some amount toward savings and retirement. I was not crying mind you. At that time, practicing law was what I did for a living and, at least, in some part, was also a piece of my identification; that is, Mike Melvin – lawyer.

I rather think that many of you readers may have had similar start up and ending stories; that is, no real knowledge of what you were going to do for a living and unhappiness in the first stages of working and with more satisfaction coming later as you got better at it. If so, on your own time, examine your own growing up experiences and see how they may have influenced your later career choices and happiness. I know my experiences did influence all that came thereafter. For those of you that knew all the time what your career was to be and were happy from the outset, more power to you. For those of you that never got as happy as you wanted to be, I will be talking later about how you, hopefully, can change your life for the better.

Well, here goes on my background experiences and their influence on my later choices.

First, a little background on my upbringing. I start without my earlier childhood experiences, but will get to those later.

It may seem later on that I am skipping around with my background and not collecting it all in one place. The purpose of doing so is to break up my background into more digestible parts placed at the appropriate places in the story. Of course, the degree of accomplishment of this purpose is up to the reader.

I was brought up in, Lakeland, a small town in central Florida. I had one sibling, a brother older by about two and one-half years. We were fortunate and had a stable, loving family relationship. Sorry, no tales of abuse here. We were not exactly the Cleaver family, but close enough for me. I even had a cousin who to this day said I looked just like the Beaver (as we both looked back then, not now) if that counts for any extra points.

My education was all in the public school system right up to law school. Despite being a lazy student, at least up to the university level, I still got a good education. I have a theory about that.

My theory is that I and others of my generation and generations before that were the beneficiaries of gender discrimination. How is that you might ask. Here goes.

Since I was born in 1940, I was practically predestined to have good teachers. Think about it. Most of the teachers were women. Before I get stepped on, I know there were exceptions, but what careers were open and receptive to women in those days? Largely, teaching, nursing, secretarial and clerical, religious positions and other then traditional jobs assigned to women. Many women chose the noble profession of teaching and God bless them each and all. Many of these same women these days would become scientists, lawyers, doctors, presidents and CEO’s and other positions shamefully not previously readily available to women. My theory requires the small assumption that, because of this gender discrimination, a good measure of that female brain power back in my generation went into teaching and I benefited. It was almost like how to succeed without really trying and I really tested my theory by my laziness. Thankfully, my theory worked well in practice. I am not at all saying there are not plenty of hard working, smart and dedicated women (and men) teachers these days. I am only suggesting that the chances were somewhat better back then for a lazy student to tap into and benefit from the gender discrimination then prevalent.

I had a decent (not genius by any means) IQ, or so they said. In fact, the guidance counselor told my parents that I was in danger of losing some of those IQ points if I did not use them. What a rat I thought that counselor was, whether or not her statement was true. My parents actually had the nerve to encourage me to pick up the slack for a while after that.

I was also really good at procrastination, perhaps a master even; however, grades were not given on that subject, so I will never know for sure. As an unintended adverse consequence of my procrastination and being a general goofball, I nearly drove my mother insane with the last minute, just remembered or just assigned (yeah, like two weeks ago) projects and/or homework assignments. Many the night we stayed up and did our assignments. Sometimes she got bad grades. I always got the good ones. She bawled me out when she got the bad grade. Just imagine the gall when it was her work that got the bad grade and the bad grade went on MY record! Thankfully, always available were plot summary books and classic comic books. For those of you who do not know what a classic comic book is, please let me explain. A classic comic book was a high class comic book, longer than ordinary comic books, but about real, full length classic books that were the subject of school assignments. Classic comics were great for last minute book reports. If there is a way to make a buck, someone will find it and exploit it. Is not this a wonderful country!

Back to my teachers for a minute. They must have been part pod people and brain snatchers too. They must have snatched my brain when I was not paying attention (not too hard since most of the time I was not paying attention) and poured in a bunch of concentrated knowledge with a timed fuse to have the knowledge spring forth full blossom at some later predetermined time. Perhaps that time was at the university level because it never happened up until then.

Thanks to all of my teachers and especially Miss Haley, English ("It is