The WG2E All-For-Indies Anthologies: Martini Madness Edition

WELCOME TO THE WG2E ALL-FOR-INDIES ANTHOLOGIES

(THE MARTINI MADNESS EDITION)

Copyright © 2012 by D. D. Scott. All rights reserved.

This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either products of the author’s imagination or used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events, locales, or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental. All rights reserved. No part of this publication can be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, without permission in writing from the author or publisher.

Smashwords Edition

Contents

INTRODUCTION

STUCK WITH SLEIGH BELLS

CHAPTER ONE

CHAPTER TWO

CHAPTER THREE

CHAPTER FOUR

CHAPTER FIVE

CHAPTER SIX

CHAPTER SEVEN

CHAPTER EIGHT

CHAPTER NINE

NOTE FROM D. D. SCOTT

ABOUT D. D. SCOTT

Full Bio

PRAISE FOR D. D. SCOTT’S BOOKS

BOOKS BY D. D. SCOTT

INTRODUCING THE LATEST D. D. SCOTT CHRISTMAS READ…

NOTE FROM DAVID SLEGG

ALIEN APPLETINIS

About Anne R. Allen

Death and the Dryad

Meet *lizzie starr

Real Men Don’t Drink Appletinis

About the Author

When just about two years ago, I brainstormed The WG2E – The Writer’s Guide to Epublishing – the destination site for all-things-Epublishing, I never in my wildest, most spectacular dreams imagined I’d end up creating a site which now gets over one million hits per month and is the first visit of the day for over 3500 Indie Epublished Writers and Authors!

At The WG2E, it’s all about finding ways to Pay It Forward, both to our fellow writers and to all our superfab readers too.

We simply luuuvvv treating readers to great books for great prices and helping our fellow authors find new readers around the globe.

With this Sixth Edition of our WG2E All-For-Indies Anthologies, we’re treating you to a terrific, one-of-a-kind approach to the anthology concept.

You’ll get a variety of genres all packaged together as a wonderful way to discover authors new to you and a variety of story lengths – from short-shorts, to short and novella length too!

In addition, each WG2E Anthology is based on a different theme, and we’re over the moon to offer you unique perspectives on these superfab fun themes.

Here’s what we mean by that…

In our WG2E Martini Madness Anthology, we’re treating you to stories that yes, have a martini element - and for some reason, it seems we really luuuvvv appletinis. But, you’ll never think of martinis in quite the same way, appletini or otherwise!

For example:

* Think Castle and Beckett, The Good Witch, Maxine and Under the Mistletoe Martinis…in Whoville for D. D. Scott & David Slegg’s STUCK WITH SLEIGH BELLS

* Aliens too enjoy a good appletini for Anne R. Allen’s ALIEN APPLETINIS

* Even Death enjoys a nice lemon martini for Lizzie Starr’s DEATH AND THE DRYAD

* Sometimes the manliest of men fall for a super-steamy appletini for Liz Mattis’ REAL MEN DON’T DRINK APPLETINIS

Happy Holidays, Happy Reading and Welcome to our WG2E All-For-Indies Anthologies!

—

The Best of Wishes—

D. D. Scott

Co-Founder of The WG2E

P.S. You can catch up with the earlier editions of our WG2E Anthologies here: http://thereadersguidetoepublishing.wordpress.com/2012/09/24/with-the-wg2es-ebook-anthologies-you-get-multiple-genres-and-authors-with-superfab-fun-themed-collections-too/

STUCK WITH SLEIGH BELLS

(A Stuck with a Series Holiday Novella)

BY:

D. D. Scott and David Slegg

CHAPTER ONE

Ring-a-ding-ding, Y’All!

And no, I ain’t ringin’ some bell at a Salvation Army pot. Although, I do take part in that each holiday season.

But not today, folks. Not today.

I’m jinglin’ these damn sleigh bells as fast as my scrawny arms can shake ‘em ‘cause word has it that doing so this time of year could have some major ramifications.

First of all, it damn sure beats swallowing rocks. Would you believe that’s what those stupid ass Neanderthal cave men used to do? Before they figured out how to make bells, they swallowed rocks so their distended bellies would jingle when they were ready to mate. Romantic, right?

So, anyhoo…let’s get to my bells. Oh, but first, I’d better tell ya a bit about me.

I’m Lucy Weiss, retired from running my award-winning Meat n’ Three Diner in Nashville, Tennessee. Yep. Right there in Music City sits my diner, Lucy’s LunchBox Cafe. Every day, we serve up the Holy Trinity of White Vegetables - mac and cheese, white beans and mashed taters - plus the meat of your choice, barbecued, of course. Thus, we’re a Meat ‘n Three Diner. I can never understand why people can’t figure that out. But anyway, I’m Lucy. Although, my friends and family just call me Grams.

I guess I’m also a bit of what kids nowadays call a Quant. That’s a fancy name for one helluva computer genius - aka hacker. I can totally rock ‘n’ roll across any keyboard. And I can do things you ain’t never seen with a mouse.

Now then…about these bells…

I have it on good authority that ringing sleigh bells with gusto can not only ward off bad luck and evil spirits, and trust me, in this family, that’s important stuff. But also, these bells can attract meteorites!

Now, how cool would it be to see Santa Claus comin’ to town ridin’ the big ass tail of a meteorite?!

Okay. Just kidding…sort of. That’s not the reason I’m ringin’ bells. But, for the record, I do think Santa arriving by meteorite would be totally awesome.

And, since I’m gonna be piloting his sleigh this year, I do have a say in its operation. That’s right. You heard it straight from the main elf’s mouth. I, Lucy Weiss, am finally going to be able to check off the top item on my Bucket List, which is to be at the helm of Santa’s sleigh on the most magickal night of all nights. Yes indeed, hold onto your Santa hats! I’m in charge of this year’s Big Red Ride.

I’m so excited about this opportunity that I could stand out here, at Santa’s North Pole, along the fabulous shores of Lake Michigan, and jingle these damn bells all day long!

But wait…there’s more!

I’ve also been told by one of my sources that, if I’m the first sleigh bell dingler of the season, I’ll herald the arrival of Dietger, the gaily-clad King of Winter and his splendiferous Ice Court. Now, mind you, I’m a huge fan of the Ice Capades, but I’m thinkin’ this might even top that. Who’d settle for just reindeer when you could have reindeer on your roof-top and the Ice Capades too?!

That brings me to exactly why I’m putting everything I’ve got into shakin’ these bells.

I also have my own King of Winter, and he’ll be my sidekick in this grand adventure. That would be my significant other, and Santa’s BFF, Father Time. I hooked up with him last year during one helluva holiday hullabaloo right here at George and Suzie Witherspoon’s gingerbread house - aka Santa and Mrs. Claus’ North Pole.

But my Babycakes, Father Time, has some serious issues. Ever since Baby New Year busted his hourglass, he’s been in quite a funk. Nobody messes with Father Time’s scythe or his hourglass. And talk about bad timing. We’ve got exactly one month to pull off Christmas, so timing is EVERYTHING!

Luckily though, I’ve now got him trained better than one of Pavlov’s dogs. No more of that like sands through the hourglass soap opera baloney. In a manner of speaking, he’s been saved by the bells. Well, that or he’ll be salivating like hell.

Here he comes now…

Poor guy. He looks like he’s in a drunk and dazed stupor. Speaking of which, he drinks way too much of that silly elf Wanda Lu’s brandy and cocoa. Well, at least it takes his mind off of that damn hourglass. And…it makes the stress of being in charge of The Big Red Ride somewhat tolerable.

CHAPTER TWO

When Sam invited me on her holiday expedition, she’d given me a rough sketch of this Father Time character, but what the hell? I hadn’t expected him to be this far gone, but the nut job crossing the snow-covered lawn in our direction had to be him. And this guy was every bit the storybook version that Sam said he was.

He was elderly, bearded, and dressed in an ancient, tattered robe. He was also carrying a scythe. The only thing missing was an hourglass, which had recently been broken by the very naughty Baby New Year.

Actually, he looked like he’d just stepped out of one of those claymation holiday films. I half expected to see an elf named Hermey telling him how he’d always wanted to be a dentist while pulling a tooth from an abominable snowman. And, for that matter, where the hell was Yukon Cornelius?

Wow. Where was my head? Get it together, Nick.

I knew coming along on this trip was a bad idea, but I’d obviously underestimated what ‘bad’ meant.

Damn. What was I doing here? Talk about a real life island of misfit toys. Samantha’s family was just as nutty as my own crazy Aunt Liza, if not more.

Ah, yes. Aunt Liza. She was exactly the reason I was standing here watching Father Time amble like a lost soul. Sam had skillfully used my Aunt Liza’s Stuck with a Spell incident as a way to con me into coming to her aunt and uncle’s house. But I’d already figured out why she really wanted me tagging along. As my Editor Extraordinaire, Samantha Aldredge, she could now keep an eye on me and continuously ride me about making the deadline for my latest manuscript. Fans of my Nicky Blaine novels weren’t too thrilled when they’d had to wait an extra few months for my last release. So, making this next book’s deadline wasn’t an option, it was a must.

But, honestly, what choice did I have? I owed Sam big-time.

When she called me up to propose this little field trip, she made a not-so-subtle reference to the Voodoo-laden goings on at my farm last February. Checkmate. Not that I needed reminding. The last ten months had done nothing to lessen the impact of Liza’s hexing