Hitchhiker

Chapter 1

I thought you could put it on the mantle, said Phyllis as she placed the vase over the fireplace. The blue onyx will capture the morning light.

This is just what we wanted for this space, said Alicia.

It is simply perfect, said Phyllis.

Yes, that’s just what I was thinking, said Alicia. Simply perfect.

Eight other women dressed in summer linen murmured how they, too, thought it was simply perfect and then, almost simultaneously, each took a sip of mimosa. Beth Gilk, a practitioner of the ‘Denim is Linen’ school of fashion, did not take part in the murmurings or the collective sip. She was still experiencing a mild form of social shock. The invitation to the house warming had been unexpected. Alicia had not initiated contact with her for several months.

Beth was grateful that the vase was the last gift. Grateful because the event would soon be over and grateful because she would no longer have to suffer the embarrassment of being the bearer of the cheapest present. She thought a traditional loaf of bread and cellar of salt would suffice, but as soon as she arrived she realized it was a mistake.

The vases, silver creamers, and monogrammed swizzle sticks soon dwarfed her gift, thankfully buried under a pile of designer wrapping paper in a corner of the high-ceilinged sunroom. The Alicia she met fifteen years ago would have appreciated the bread and salt, but Beth had doubts about her present company.

Fifteen years ago Beth was a college freshman who didn’t know what beer tasted like. Alicia was a worldly sophomore who took Beth under her wing after they both failed an audition for the college production of Cats. While Beth had actually been interested in the show, Alicia was there because her parents had insisted she show an interest in something other than boys. Beth, crushed by the rejection, had been cheered by her fellow rejectee who gave her a pat on the back and told her how much she enjoyed Beth’s singing-truly a gift as Beth knew she couldn’t sing a lick. After discussing a shared curiosity as to the assistant director’s sexual preference, and confessing an unnatural fear of sorority houses, they became fast friends. After graduation they stayed in Austin, but their lives took different directions. Alicia followed her path to a husband with no money, a divorce, and finally another husband with lots of money. Beth’s path led her to a graduate degree, a position at the local university, no husband and no money.

None of the women at the party, Alicia included, appeared to have a profession, though one acknowledged a real estate license, unused, somewhere in the Summer house. Instead of jobs they had marriage, divorce, or just plain money, as well as an air of self assurance that Beth coveted. She had never held the confidence in manner or dress that these women wore. Her unease burdened each gesture with an inordinate sense of calculation. Everything she said or did, no matter how minute, felt awkward, like an adolescent lifting a glass of punch at her first dance.

While feigning interest in a conversation two women were having about the proper attire for ballooning in North Africa, Beth began to plot an exit strategy. She considered and then ruled out a sudden departure premised on a forgotten appointment with her reflexologist. Other than being totally untrue, it seemed too trendy. She also decided against announcing an urgent meeting with her Underachievers Anonymous group. That was probably too close to the truth. It might be possible to just skip the excuses and slip out the kitchen door. She had met most of the women for the first time that afternoon and didn’t think her absence would attract much notice. She took a deep breath, stood up, and started a slow turn toward the kitchen when a voice called from across the room.

Beth, I found your bread! Where did you get it? It is brilliant!

Damn, thought Beth, as she turned to face the caller. It was Phyllis. Oh, uh, a little Armenian bakery in my neighborhood, Beth said.

It is marvelous! said Phyllis, walking toward her. Where do you live that you get such scrumptious bread?

Over on the east side. Close to the river. Phyllis’s straw-colored coif made Beth acutely aware of her own naturally shapeless brunette mop. She had tied it back that morning in a feeble effort to make it seem unobtrusive. It now felt alien, like someone had pasted a hunk of rope to the back of her head.

Ohhh, said Phyllis. I think our church did some work there for some kind of clinic. I don’t remember exactly what we did, but I remember it was fun-fun. I really like that part of town. It is so colorful.

Phyllis went on describing the work she could not remember at the clinic she could not name. Beth only half-listened and, looking beyond Phyllis’s set of perfect teeth, focused on a woman across the room that was laughing and holding up a pair of edible underwear- a ‘gag’ gift found hidden inside the silver creamer. Beth thought she had never seen edible underwear look more unfunny.

An Enya CD was on continuous play. Phyllis’s monologue had progressed to the relative costs of spirituality (I love my church, but sometimes they take on projects like Jesus was a trust fund.). Beth felt like she was in an elevator that was stuck between Being and Nothingness. She was reevaluating an adolescent flirtation with astral projection when she caught a glint of glass and silver in her peripheral vision. It was Alicia holding a tray of mimosas.

Oh, Phyllis, Alicia said. You must see Beth’s little east-side apartment. It has a view that is just to die for. We really had some times there. Remember that night when we were supposed to be cramming for that art history final?

What? Oh, how could I forget? said Beth, remembering that was also the night she discovered the sorrows of gin. She had spent most of the next day vomiting the insides of her insides.

I think that was the Friday night you didn’t go to the movies, said Alicia.

Oh, right, said Beth with a polite smile.

And remember that one time at spring break, Alicia continued. We had just gotten back from hitchhiking to South Padre when you and Asa -

Phyllis, where did you get that pin? said Beth, interrupting as she grabbed a mimosa like it was a life preserver. I’ve never seen anything like it.

Phyllis took a moment to brush away a bit of imaginary lint from a silver brooch of three concentric circles that were inlayed with some kind of purple stone. It was an elaborate yet elegant pin that stood out among the other women’s designer jewelry. Alicia gave it to me. She found it at some oh-so exclusive shop in Montenegro or someplace.

Little Montenegro, down by the Adriatic Sea, Beth said, half to herself.

What? Oh. I don’t know about that, said Phyllis. Alicia assured me it’s one of a kind.

It certainly is, said Beth as Alicia leaned over and whispered in her ear, Please stick around. I want to show you something.

Beth gulped her drink and nodded while Phyllis gave her and Alicia playful arm squeezes.

I’d love to hear about those wild times you two used to have, but I have to go, said Phyllis as she gave Alicia a rather sloppy kiss on the cheek.

Talk about wild times, said Alicia as she wiped off traces of Phyllis’s lipstick.

Oh Alicia, laughed Phyllis. You are no fun. She stepped back and pushed a lock of hair back in place before she added, Thanks for the lovely afternoon. I’ve got a massage with Kevin at three. He’s been my salvation since the scare.

Scare? asked Beth.

Oh, I had a bad bi-op in the spring, said Phyllis. But it’s fine now.

How’d you get Kevin? asked Alicia before Beth had a chance to respond. I didn’t think he worked on Sundays and, besides, the salon told me he was booked for the next half of forever.

Oh, we have a special arrangement, said Phyllis as she batted her eyes suggestively.

Alicia and Phyllis laughed and Beth, after a moment’s consideration, added a polite tee-hee of her own. It sounded a little too much like Betty Rubble and the two other women looked at her like they were uncertain if she was being intentionally sarcastic or was just an idiot. Beth began to study the ceiling and was contemplating a remark on the miracle of crown molding when Phyllis interrupted the silence.

Thanks again, said Phyllis. I’ve really got to go. We’ve got a sitter and Mike is taking me to that new Belgian restaurant.

Phyllis gave Alicia and Beth air hugs and turned to say good-bye to the other guests. Beth took an imaginary sip of mimosa. She had already drained her glass. She put the flute down and was just about to ease into an armchair when she noticed that Phyllis’s goodbyes had cued the party’s end. Talk suddenly turned to missed church services, undone work-outs, and nannies that charged outrageous fees if parents were just one minute late.

Beth exchanged a series of how-nice-to-meet-you’s with the departing women and followed Alicia out the door to a mix of earth-tone SUV’s and luxury sedans. She saw Phyllis make a slight turn of her wrist as she got into something red and expensive. She looked like Miss America waving to the great unwashed. Alicia waved back from the end of the driveway where she was attempting to create some order to the exodus.

Beth stood at the doorway and watched as all the cars slipped away over the hill. Alicia walked up to her and very gently placed her hand on the small of Beth’s back. They walked into the house and paused before the flotsam of empty champagne glasses and discarded wrapping paper.

Thanks for hanging out, said Alicia. I know this group can be a little hard to take sometimes.

Oh, not at all, said Beth. It was clearly not her crowd, but Beth was glad to have the opportunity to see Alicia, and was more than a little curious as to why she was asked to stay after.

I’m going to get that thing I told you about, said Alicia, Why don’t you go to the kitchen and see if there’s more champagne. I think there are some clean glasses on the sideboard.

Alicia retreated down a hallway as Beth walked to the kitchen. She got a bottle of champagne from a stainless steel refrigerator that was half the size of a small planet. The kitchen itself was enormous and equipped with an array of appliances that all boasted the same stainless steel veneer. Everything looked sparkling clean and unused, as if the entire kitchen was a set lifted from a modern version of Queen for a Day. The overall effect was efficient and impersonal. The exception to this was a lone refrigerator magnet that bore the logo Caution! Calories Ahead! Underneath it was an invitation to a party with a handwritten note that read Hope you can come. XXOOXX, Phyllis.

Beth heard Alicia call from the next room, Beth! What are you doing? Stealing the house silver?

Beth grabbed the champagne and found Alicia standing just off the kitchen. She was holding a crumpled ball of wadded newspaper that was about as big as a fist. The bundle was tied with twine that looked like it had yellowed with age.

I don’t feel like facing the party mess. Let’s go out to the garden. It’s not quite done, but I don’t think you’ll mind that, said Alicia in a playful tone. Will you, Beth?

Uh, sure, said Beth. I mean no. I mean, that’s fine.

Alicia’s transformation of the backyard into a garden had been a topic of conversation at the party. She had refused requests for a viewing because the garden had not reached its proper level of enchantment. Evidently, finding plants that were sufficiently enchanting was quite an undertaking. Alicia had described her botanical difficulties in great detail and her guests had responded with a chorus of solemn nods and sympathetic murmurings. Beth had participated, to her shame, in this tacit understanding and appreciation of Alicia’s dilemma. Beth’s knowledge of gardening had not progressed since college when she drowned her roommate’s marijuana plant.

During the party Alicia casually mentioned the garden’s cost as being the same as her first home with her first husband. Beth was skeptical as she had been a regular visitor to that house which, while not elaborate or in the best neighborhood, was a pleasant Austin cottage with a large deck in the back. She remembered it as a warm and inviting place before Alicia hooked up with David and everything went to hell.

Did you get the glasses? asked Alicia. Come on, girl, get with the program!

Beth snatched up two glasses and followed Alicia out of the kitchen and down a narrow stone path along the side of the house. The sound of falling water grew louder as they approached a high wooden gate at the end of the path.

Alicia pushed the gate open as Beth took an involuntary step backwards and whispered, Surrender, Dorothy.

Unfinished or not, the garden took Beth’s breath away. The area itself was not large, but the variety and lushness of the vegetation was astounding. Everywhere she looked beheld a feast for the eyes and soul. The natural slope of the yard was terraced to form a series of small ponds whose waters burbled gently into a stand of water lilies at Beth’s feet. A brook stretched the length of the backyard and was over-arched at two points by miniature Japanese bridges which looked suspiciously authentic.

Beth followed Alicia over one such bridge, beneath an archway of intertwining plants, and up a small path of black slate. They walked to the top of the slope where a bench made of smooth grey stone sat beneath a lanai covered in wisteria. The purple blooms’ aroma felt intoxicating.

They sat on the bench and listened to the sound of small water. A stone Buddha sat nearby, expressionless. The setting was so tranquil Beth could almost hear her spinal cord settling.

After a few moments, Beth broke the quiet by asking, What do you mean it’s not done? I don’t think I’m ever going to leave. This is incredible. Where’s the snake? Where’s the apple?

Alicia laughed and nodded. I know, she said. I was fibbing a little. There is still work to do, but I didn’t want the troupe back here. This is a special place to me. I refused to let David move us out of the condo until most of the work was done.

I wondered why it took you guys so long to move in. said Beth. It seemed like you closed on the place months ago.

It drove David crazy, but he did it, said Alicia. He did it for me.

You weren’t kidding about the cost, said Beth, still amazed. This must have set him back a trillion dollars. Who needs Zoloft when you can just step into this bit of heaven? You two must spend a lot of time back here.

Well, I do anyway, said Alicia. A gentle wind caused her bangs to fall across her forehead. She quickly swept them away and pretended to study the results of her latest manicure.

Really? asked Beth as she filled the paper thin flutes. I would think this would be a great place for David to get a little respite from all the work he does.

Yes, well, I was sort of hoping for that too. I’ve gotten him back here for a cocktail or two, but you know David, said Alicia. He doesn’t get off the treadmill very often. He has two speeds: ‘fast forward’ and ‘don’t-fuck-with-me.’ Now he’s off on some business trip God knows where. Whatever he’s doing, he must do it well, because they pay him such an obscene amount of money.

Beth handed Alicia a glass and said, Well, I really don’t know David. Whenever we have managed to get together he’s usually out of town. The only thing I know about him is that he is a lawyer who travels a lot, and he always seems to have a few dollars in his pocket.

Then you know as much as I do, said Alicia.

There was a pause before both women laughed and drank their champagne.

I’ve missed you, said Alicia.

Me, too, said Beth, and she did. Alicia had been Beth’s mentor in college. The first time Beth had two men interested in her, it was Alicia who took her aside and explained that she should never tell one guy about the other. When Beth had a pregnancy scare Alicia was the one who held her hand at the clinic while they waited for test results. The clinic waiting room, cold and antiseptic, was still vivid to Beth and seemed the antithesis of the garden where Alicia now calmly sipped her champagne. Beth watched her swallow and, very gently, press her lips together as if to gather the few drops that had strayed from her palate.

Alicia swallowed again and then turned to Beth and asked, So how are you, anyway?

Not too bad, for an old person, said Beth.

Beth was almost a year younger and, early in their friendship, this had been a genuine point of irritation for Alicia. But now Alicia just laughed and asked, So what’s new? Seeing anyone interesting?

Beth took a small swallow of champagne before she answered. I’ve forced myself to go out a few times, but ‘interesting’ is not a word that comes to mind when I think of the guys I’ve seen.

What word does come to mind? asked Alicia.

Desperate, one-dimensional, and predictable are a few, but there is somebody, somebody that I might like, who has invited me to go with him on a junket to Atlantic City. Then, after a moment’s hesitation, Beth added, No strings attached.

No strings attached? asked Alicia, leaning forward. Does that mean you don’t have to put out?

Uh, huh. Beth took a drink of champagne. Doesn’t that remind you of the days when men were straightforward and straight?

I think I was out of town that weekend, said Alicia. So what happened with that, uh, that rug merchant? What was his name?

Carl, his name was Carl, and he wasn’t a rug merchant, he was a broker.

Oh yeah. I always get those confused. So, what happened?

I decided to call it quits after he voluntarily announced the locations of his tattoos. I didn’t know he had any to begin with. It sort of ruined any ambition I might have had to explore.

What happened? Lose your sense of adventure?

Turns out some things are best left to the imagination. Beth brought her glass to her lips and noticed the small bundle that lay on the bench between them. She had almost forgotten the premise for coming to the garden.

So what have you got there? asked Beth, gesturing to the small wad of newspaper. The brain of David Hasselhoff? The Maltese Hummingbird?

You won’t believe the kind of thing you can find in a lingerie drawer, said Alicia. Prepare yourself for a blast from your past. But, first, a toast. Here’s to what was and to what will be.

The women’s glasses touched.

Take it, said Alicia under her breath as she handed the bundle to Beth with a sudden seriousness that seemed almost comic.

Alicia drained her glass and watched Beth carefully untie the string and unwrap the newspaper. Inside was a small black jewelry box with a snap cover and a faded brown spot on one side. Beth looked at Alicia questioningly as she held the little box in her hand. Alicia’s expression did not change. She just nodded silently at the box.

Beth took a short breath as she opened the black box. She stared at the contents for a moment before she looked up. Alicia was looking right into her eyes.

Alicia said Beth. This isn’t - is it?

Yes, said Alicia. It is.

Chapter 2

Beth turned the box over and let the contents fall into her right palm. She sat in the garden and gripped the two gold Irish Claddaghs in her hand. One of the rings was missing the traditional crown above the two hands holding a heart. The other was intact.

These are hers, aren’t they? asked Beth.

Alicia nodded. Yes, she said. They’re Asa’s.

How did you . . . ? asked Beth. Where did you . . .?

I found them tucked inside a bra when I was unpacking. I had honestly forgotten about them. They evidently had been sitting there since-

Since the wedding.

Yes. Since the wedding, or whatever you’re supposed to call it. I suppose there is a name for it, somewhere.

Yes, I suppose there is. You know, so many weddings just melt into one another: Chiffon, lace, forgotten flirtations. It gets to be hard to tell them apart after a while. But that one really stood out.

Yes, said Alicia, picking up the bottle and pouring herself some more champagne. It really did.

So how did you, asked Beth. I mean, it’s been nearly three years, why do you even have these?

Well, it certainly isn’t by choice, dear. I suppose I could be accused of collecting husbands, but collecting wedding rings has never been part of my design.

So how?

More champagne? asked Alicia.

Beth nodded.

Do you remember our duties as bridesmaids or ladies in waiting or whores in wanting or whatever we were?

Uh, yeah, said Beth tentatively, It was my job to get her smashed the night before.

Which I remember you did magnificently, said Alicia taking a generous swallow of champagne.

Yes I did, thank you very much.

Remember how excited she was?

Remember how drunk she was?

How drunk we all were, you mean.

Yes, said Beth. And even though we got a little obnoxious, everyone seemed taken with her and the way she announced her ‘eternal happiness’ at each bar we visited. Beth licked some champagne off her upper lip and closed her eyes.

I don’t know if I’ve ever seen anyone so happy, said Alicia. She practically levitated she was so high.

And so beautiful. You know, said Beth, leaning back as far as the bench would allow. Before I knew her I had seen her on the campus commons surrounded by a group of boys, all of them trying to be the one to tell her where her classroom was. She wore a white summer dress that moved perfectly with the breeze. I decided to hate her, just because of the way she looked.

‘Really? Me, too, said Alicia. But when I talked to her I realized she didn’t play the game at all."

Not at all. It wasn’t that she was innocent or anything.

No, nothing like that."

It just wasn’t important to her.

Yes.

It’s like she only thought of her beauty as an incidental, like an outfit she just happened to wear that day. It wasn’t who she was.

Right, exactly. And that just made her more attractive. Men were always so ga-ga around her.

And women, too.

Yeah, but the guys were the worst, especially the few she went out with. They were always begging, ‘Please let’s go out one more time, puleeeze’!

And the terrible thing was that she was so goddamn oblivious to it all.

Well, until she met Alex. She seemed to have no conception of how pretty she was. Alicia looked almost wistful. Damn her, she said softly. She drained the last few drops of champagne from her glass before she spoke again. We’re out of champagne. Would you mind if I went into the house and got some more?

No, of course not. I’ll sit here and soak up the Zoloft. Beth watched Alicia walk back down the path and through the gate. A long slow breath slid out of her body. It was good to be with her friend again.

Be right back, Alicia called over her shoulder as she opened the gate.

Beth gazed up at the large two-story home, which looked new, though the design was Retro-Victorian. No amount of gingerbread, however, could make up for the way the house stuck out in a neighborhood of mostly one story, small family dwellings from the mid-1950s. The former suburb had been overtaken by the town’s growth decades ago and was now considered prime real estate by virtue of its central location and access to the high end shops a few blocks away. It was hard to believe that just behind the garden were the outcroppings of a newly renovated strip mall. A few trees and a high hedge covered a wire fence that separated the garden from the harsh blot of concrete and dumpsters behind the mall.

Beth wondered what kind of view of the strip mall Alicia’s house would have in winter when the trees were bare. She was thinking about what people with money could do with bare trees when she heard a voice sing, I’ve got a surprise for you!

Beth looked up and saw Alicia standing in front of her with two fresh glasses and a newly opened bottle of white wine. The chilled bottle dripped some condensation on Beth’s wrist which gave her a shiver.

I feel like such a terrible hostess, said Alicia. I’m out of champagne so I brought you a nice Pinot Grigio and a little surprise.

Another surprise? I don’t think I can take another surprise.

Oh, no. Nothing like that, said Alicia as she took a small ornately carved wooden box out of the side pocket of her