In My Wildest Dreams

IN MY WILDEST DREAMS

By Paul R. Meredith

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2012 Paul R. Meredith

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The names of the characters used in this story are purely fictional and have no intended relationship to any person either alive or deceased. Some of the places used in this story are real places but any events related to those places are also purely fictional and not intended to be harmful in any way.

Part 1

The loud buzz of the electric alarm woke Josh up with a start. Then the blaring morning news erupted on the television he had set to go off at six. He sat upright in bed, perspiration saturating his entire upper body. His tee shirt was soaked completely through. Damn, not again! he swore as he jumped from the bed and headed for the bathroom, attempting with great difficulty to peel the tee at the same time.

Josh shed his shorts and tee shirt and started to open the shower door, and then he remembered he had to shave first. He quickly lathered his face with the shaving cream and ripped his razor from the drawer. He shaved in short quick strokes, carelessly cutting himself on the chin. When he finished shaving he looked for his styptic pencil so he could stop the bleeding, but it wasn’t where he thought he left it in the drawer. He stepped in the shower thinking the warm water would stop the bleeding while he showered. He lathered up his body and scrubbed it with the washcloth. When he was done, he rinsed the soap from his body from top to bottom, slowly ratcheting the water temperature from warm to cold.

Stepping from the shower when he was done, he saw the bleeding had stopped. Now he wondered how long the nagging dreams would continue. It seemed there was no letup to them. Every night was the same thing. It was affecting his daily life as well because he was not sleeping very well and seemed tired every day. The dreams woke him several times each night, but then he would turn back to sleep, only to have the same dream start all over again. It was maddening. He wondered whether a shrink could help him, but then he quickly discarded the idea. Down deep he didn’t really believe in shrinks anyway.

***

Julia was a graduate student at the University of Iowa when she met Joshua Whitley. Josh had received his MS the previous year and was working as an actuary at one of the large local insurance companies headquarters in Des Moines. He was sent to Iowa City from the home office for a few weeks to oversee the resolution of some problems with their local office there. It was pure happenstance that he and Julia ever met at all, coming at a local eatery one Tuesday during the rush lunch period. Josh was seated eating his lunch when he noticed a young lady searching for a place to sit. Every table and booth was taken, so Josh stood and said to her, Miss, you can sit here with me if you like, motioning at the empty chair at his small two-person table. I will be leaving shortly.

Thank you, she said. Are you sure you don’t mind?

Not at all. The pleasure will be all mine.

Julia sat and Josh quickly introduced himself to her. My name is Josh Whitley. I have been temporarily working across the street for the insurance company, he told her. The home office in Des Moines sent me here for a period of time to help out with some things.

And my name is Julia Cusack. I’m a grad student here at the university. It is nice to meet you, she said as they shook hands.

The pleasure is all mine, Josh said. He found Julia to be fairly talkative during the next few minutes. He had to catch himself in order for her not to notice he was eating slower and staring at her too much. God, but she is beautiful, he thought. He immediately checked for a ring on her finger and found none. If I may ask, what is your field of study at school? he checked.

Not at all, I am after my MS in statistics. I have a degree in actuarial science and have already completed two of the certification exams, she stated. I hope to also work in the insurance business after I am done with school. I have actually applied at your company in Des Moines, hoping to start in their actuarial department. I believe I have a decent chance to be employed there after I graduate, should they need another person at that time. In what department do you work?

This is almost unbelievable, but I work in the actuarial department myself. I have completed six of the certification tests and have just one more to go to be a certified actuary. But I intend to take the additional three exams to become part of the Casualty Actuarial Society. It is such a rare thing meeting you like this, Josh explained, with both of us interested in the same field. It is truly amazing to me.

The two young people spent the next several minutes discussing their love of the field, plus some of their mutual university experiences. Soon lunch was over and both needed to get back to their respective needs. Please let me give you my card, just in case you actually want to discuss anything about being an actuary. Maybe I could answer some questions for you since I already work in the field. I would love to hear from you anytime.

Julia looked at his card, and then looked up at his eyes. I just may take you up on that. I do have questions about working in a large company like yours. Would you seriously mind if I did call you sometime?

I would love it, Josh told her. He stared at her mouth, thinking her lips were perfect for kissing. She even had that beautiful smile with neat white teeth. God, she is perfect.

She smiled as she told him, I think you are staring.

Oh, sorry. Actually I was daydreaming a little, he lied.

About what? she asked.

Uh, just things I have to do later. It will be a busy afternoon.

Well, you have a good day, she said as she gathered her things from the table and the floor.

Uh, please don’t take this the wrong way, but I think you are beautiful, Josh blurted.

Seriously?

Seriously, I do, he affirmed.

Well, that is so nice of you to say that. Thank you, Julia said as she offered that huge smile to him.

They left together, but Josh was smitten with the new woman with whom he had just shared lunch. He did not feel bold enough to ask for her contact information while they talked. Now all he could do was hope she contacted him. She was just the type of girl he had always hoped to meet and fall in love with, a girl with great looks and a magnetic personality. Her auburn hair and blue eyes were perfect contrasts, plus she was just the right height, maybe five-eight or so. Her walk was impressive. She took nice long strides and had perfect posture. She looked just like the woman he always dreamed he would marry someday. He watched until she turned the corner and disappeared from view. He thought, she should make toothpaste commercials with those white teeth and beautiful smile.

The days started to drag as Josh waited for Julia to call, but she never did. He went to the same lunch place day after day in hopes of accidentally seeing her again, but it didn’t happen. Time slipped by and Josh eventually saw a young woman at work that appealed in some strange way to him. She was attractive, but not what he could call beautiful. Her eyes were a little too far apart, sort of like Jackie Kennedy’s eyes had been, in his opinion anyway. But her eyes were a very pretty color, sort of a deep hazel. She wore dark-rimmed glasses and she was rather tall for a young woman, perhaps five-ten or more, which was not really a problem for him since he was six-three. Her darker auburn hair was a nice color, but she wore it more like an older lady might wear her hair, sort of in a bob on the back. Probably the one thing that drew him into wanting to ask her out if he ever got the chance was her speaking voice, along with a very pleasant laugh. She seemed to be a happy person. He just learned a few minutes previously from someone who spoke to her that her name was Vivian.

He ran into Vivian at the copy machine early in the morning, introduced himself to the lady and he quickly worked up the nerve to ask her if she would accompany him to a friend’s wedding reception. When he asked her, she looked at him, You seriously want to ask me out on a date? She seemed surprised.

Yes, I hope you aren’t offended. You aren’t married are you? I didn’t see a ring or anything, he responded.

I’m not married, but are you really serious? she still asked.

Yes, of course I am serious. Why is it you seem so surprised that I should ask you out?

Because, I thought surely you must have heard the tal… oh, never mind. Yes, certainly, if you are sure, I would gladly go with you, Josh. When is it, and where?

Josh hastily gave her some of the details of the reception and arranged to get her personal information so he could pick her up a few days later.

As he walked back to his office, he wondered what she had almost told him. His mind started working overtime as he dreamed up of all sorts of possibilities. Was she secretly married, or was she possibly harboring the fact she was a lesbian, or what the hell else could it be? As he sat down he remembered she had not answered his question about being married. He decided he should check around and see what he could find out about the woman. Then he had a better thought, that maybe he would ask her out to lunch. That should be a way to get her to talk more about herself.

He hastily looked her number up in the company phone record on his computer. He knew her name was Vivian Louden. He found it and called her. She answered almost immediately. Hi Josh, how are things? she casually said.

Things are fine here. Say, Vivian, I wondered, would you want to have lunch with me tomorrow? It would give us a chance to get better acquainted prior to our date.

Oh shoot, I can’t do it, Josh. I am so sorry, but I have a situation to deal with tomorrow and I won’t be in the office all day. By the way, everybody calls me Viv.

Viv, that’s a nice shortcut name. I like it. That’s what I will call you if you like.

Thanks, sure. I’m sorry about the lunch tomorrow.

That’s too bad, maybe another day, huh?

Sure, that would be great, but what about today? Do you already have lunch plans today?

Uh, no, no I don’t. Today would be great. How about meeting in the lower entry at noon?

Terrific, I will be there. See you there, she said.

During lunch at a nearby sandwich shop, Josh asked for and Viv explained her unfinished statement from the copy machine encounter. I was going to ask if you had heard that my boyfriend and I had just broken up a few days previously. That was all it was, and then I thought it really didn’t make any difference whether you heard or not. It was a silly thing for me to even start to mention it to you.

It probably wouldn’t have made any difference to me had I heard anything about it, but I had heard nothing. Had I heard, it probably wouldn’t have registered with me anyway. I really don’t know many people here in town. I honestly didn’t know your name until a few minutes before we met at the copy machine. Are you new here?

No, I mean yes. Actually I work on the sixth floor in reinsurance at the home office in Des Moines. I’m just here temporarily serving part of my internship. Our copy machine upstairs was busy and I had to run down to the main floor to make a copy and drop a folder off. By the way, the boyfriend I broke up from was back in Des Moines, not here.

That’s odd, I mean that we are both here on a temporary basis. I work at headquarters in Des Moines as well, but I don’t think I ever ran into you there, Josh told her. Did your boyfriend work at the company?

Yeah, well it is a big place, plus I really haven’t been there all that long anyway.

That is true, what with several hundred people on seven floors. Fortunately or unfortunately, I will only be here in Iowa City for a few weeks more before heading back, Josh told her. How long will you be here?

I have to stay for three more months, but that’s fine with me. I like the smaller office and relaxed atmosphere over here. Plus the company puts me up in a nice apartment. I have no regrets about being here for these few months.

The conversation was active between the two until near the end of the lunch period. Josh, I hope you will excuse me, but I have to leave and drop my watch off at the jeweler’s to get a new battery.

No problem, I’ll be talking with you soon. Have a great afternoon.

Josh went to the front to pay the lunch bill as soon as Viv left. He wasn’t sure whether Viv had answered his question about the old boyfriend working back at the home office or not. Oh well, he couldn’t see how it would matter anyway. As he collected his change, he turned and opened the door to exit and nearly ran into a young woman passing the restaurant. Excuse me, miss, I, uh, Julia, is it really you? He was surprised at seeing her again after searching for her so many times before.

Oh, hi, yes, it is. It’s Josh, right?

Yes, I have been looking for you at lunch lately at the same place where I first met you. I thought we could resume our discussion from back when. Actually, I had hoped you would call.

I am sorry, Josh. I had your card and wanted to call once or twice, but I was afraid you would think me a bit too brazen. I guess I was hoping you would call me, she said.

I would gladly have called, but I didn’t have a number for you. I would love to have your number so I could call sometime, if it’s okay with you, Josh said.

Absolutely. Here, let me jot it down for you. She took a small notepad from her bag and wrote the number down and handed the sheet to Josh. Please do call sometime. It would be nice to talk with you again. But right now I am running late for a lecture I need to hear.

Josh watched Julia traipse off down the street. I don’t know how or when, but I am going to marry that girl someday. Then he brushed the thought from his mind as he sensed how silly it was. I doubt that will ever happen.

Josh and Viv attended the wedding reception of his friend Peter Johnson back in Des Moines. They danced several dances and had a great time of it, even though Josh wasn’t known as much of a dancer. Sorry for my clumsiness, he said more than once as they danced.

No problem, I’m a bit rusty myself, she laughed. But she wasn’t rusty; she was very good.

Viv was an entertaining type of gal who laughed at every joke, wanted to dance almost every dance, and made friends with everyone she met. It was one of the best dates Josh could remember ever being on over the past two or three years. He was very comfortable with her.

After the reception, they drove back to Iowa City pretty late in the evening. As Josh walked Viv to the front door of her apartment, he told her, You are such fun to be with. I never knew a bubblier person than you. I hope we can see each other again sometime.

Thank you, Josh. I had a wonderful time with you and your friends. She planted a quick light kiss on Josh’s lips, Goodnight, I’m sure I will see you at work sometime, she said as she entered her apartment door. The kiss surprised Josh; he wasn’t expecting it.

Two days later Josh invited Viv to dinner and a movie, which she readily accepted. Again, Viv was great fun to be with. All the little things he originally saw in her appearance as being strange to him, he now saw as her best features, especially her eyes. He thought maybe he was starting to feel like she might be the girl he hoped to meet someday, but then he quickly had thoughts of Julia and changed his mind. Then the relationship stopped as abruptly as it had started.

Josh heard that Viv had been in a romantic tryst with one of the executive officers of the company, a married man with three young children. So that was the boyfriend she had broken up with, he thought. Is that the reason she was sent out here? Now he stayed away from her as much as he could. He didn’t want to be involved with any trouble with members of the executive suite on the seventh floor back at headquarters. In addition, he felt the need to stay true to his feelings for Julia Cusack. She really was his dream girl. He wanted badly to try to see her again.

Josh called Julia a few days later and asked her to dinner for the following evening. Josh, I really can’t just right now.

Is there a reason? I thought we got along really well.

We did get along well, but I have a personal problem to deal with at the current time. I just can’t see you right now.

You said you had a personal problem. Maybe I can help you with it if you tell me what it is, unless it is with another guy. I’m pretty good at solving problems. Will you please let me help you?

Josh, there is no other guy, and it is really none of my business, but I saw you out with another woman a couple of times recently. You seemed very happy to be with her. It is not my intention to ever come between two people in that way. I hope you can understand. I want to steer clear of situations like that.

"But I don’t understand, Julia. I am not involved with anyone, certainly not the woman you saw me with. We are simply work friends and nothing more. I hope you believe me because it is absolutely true. I was with a woman from work on two or three occasions, but there was good reason for it. She and I have nothing in common as far as being involved, certainly not in a romantic way. There is no way I would see her again for romantic reasons."

Seeing another woman is certainly your right, and none of my business. I shouldn’t have mentioned it to you.

Again, that lady and I are not involved in any way, please believe me, Josh pleaded. You are the only woman I have any interest in seeing.

I want to believe you, Josh, but I just need to make sure I am not stepping on another woman’s toes. I would want that respect from another woman if this situation were reversed. I’m just not that sure right now what I should do. Please give me a little time, please.

Sure, I guess I have to do that. What are my options? None that I know of right now.

We can always talk on the phone. I hope I am still a friend.

Positively, Julia. I definitely want to be your friend. I will call you again if you will let me. I don’t intend to be a pest.

Certainly you may call, and you are not a pest in any way. I have to work things out in my mind to where I am comfortable.

Working in the actuarial field while studying for the tests was a huge challenge for Josh. Thankfully, his company allowed two hours each day for study time as long as he was actively pursuing his final actuarial goals. He knew with just a single test to complete he should be done before the end of the quarter.

That was the time when he and Julia finally came to an agreement and started dating steadily. She no longer believed he was interested in the other woman. No sooner had they started dating regularly than Josh was sent back to Des Moines to the home office. I will be over here every weekend and we can still se each other. You should be out of school in a few weeks. If we are lucky you will be offered the job in Des Moines you applied for previously, Josh told Julia. If not, there are several other places for actuaries to work in the area.

I think that job with your company could actually happen. I received a call two days ago asking me to come for an interview as soon as I am done with school. Gosh, I am so looking forward to getting a good job over there, Julia said. I want to finally be able to make a decent paycheck. I am very grateful that my parents have helped me so much financially, but I want to give them some relief from the expenses.

When Julia got her MS from Iowa, she was hired into the insurance company in a different department than Josh. She and Josh moved her few belongings the next weekend with the help of a small U-Haul truck. Julia drove Josh’s car while hers was pulled on a hitch behind the truck.

It was a disappointment they couldn’t use her in the actuary department at the time, although they said they would try to work her in later.

Julia and Josh soon became heavily involved romantically and eventually started discussing the possibility of marriage. They even went as far as sitting down to write out their goals for life together after marriage. Julia’s goals were to climb the ladder to the top of the actuarial field she so dearly loved, while at the same time working to start on a family. Sweetheart, I want two or maybe three children and a little puppy dog for them to play with. I want us to have a nice home in the suburbs with a huge fenced yard in the back where we can all play together and have a great life, Julia told Josh. She was smiling from ear to ear as she told him. What are your dreams for us?

Josh looked into her beautiful eyes. You stated it perfectly. Those are the same goals I have dreamed of since the first day I met you in that sandwich shop. Did you know I set a goal of marrying you way back then, soon after we first had that lunch together?

Really? You didn’t even know me then.

"It really happened that day when I nearly ran into you accidentally, which was the second time