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    The Broken World of Online Dating
    The Broken World of Online Dating
    The Broken World of Online Dating
    Ebook111 pages1 hour

    The Broken World of Online Dating

    By Lisa Harris

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    About this ebook

    With over 41⁄2 years’ experience of online dating, I have experienced many “ups & downs”, but in particular my experiences and those of some of my friends have confirmed that there is a pattern of behaviour going on, which can leave many people distressed.

    With this in mind, I started writing about my experiences and the common pattern of behaviour that goes on. On discussing this with my friends and showing them some of my stories, they all urged me to publish a book - saying I owed it to people to share this knowledge and so, “The Broken World of Online Dating” was produced.

    My story includes many of my personal dating experiences and outlines the types of characters that are online. It also highlights some general things to watch out for whilst online and gives tips on how to recognise negative behaviour and how to deal with it. My story finishes up with a “Survival Kit” on how to emotionally survive the world of online dating.

    I am not claiming that online dating is all bad – as it is not and can prove successful for many people. I just feel that if people are made aware of the negative elements of it and are able to avoid them, it may enhance their chances of success from it. After all, forewarned is forearmed.

    I genuinely wish that I had been able to read something like this, prior to entering into the world of online dating. Instead, I had to live it to be knowledgeable enough to share it with you and of that, I am delighted to be able to do.
    I sincerely hope if you download my story, you learn a lot from it, but also, you laugh out loud at the madness this world can throw you into.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherLisa Harris
    Release dateFeb 21, 2013
    ISBN9781301252947
    The Broken World of Online Dating
    Author

    Lisa Harris

    LISA HARRIS is a best-selling author, a Christy Award, and two time winner of the Best Inspirational Suspense Novel from Romantic Times. She and her family have spent fourteen years working as missionaries in Africa. She loves hanging out with her family, cooking different ethnic dishes, photography, and heading into the African bush. Visit her website at lisaharriswrites.com

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      Book preview

      The Broken World of Online Dating - Lisa Harris

      The Broken World of Online Dating

      Lisa Harris

      .

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright 2013 Lisa Harris

      License Notes: This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this ebook with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Ebook formatting by www.ebooklaunch.com

      Table of Contents

      Acknowledgements

      Introduction

      About me

      How it all began

      Time to get off the online bandwagon

      General observations with online dating

      Real life experiences, including:

      The Boomerang

      The Delusional

      The Charmer

      The Sponger

      The Fake

      The Serial Online Dater

      The Troubled

      The Sex Pervert

      The Married Man/Woman

      The Lucky Escape

      The Abused

      Funny stories

      The Lucky Escape

      The Decent blokes

      Online Dating Survival Tips

      Sum Up

      Acknowledgements

      A special thanks to my wonderful family and friends, who have, without question kept me sane throughout the last few years. In particular, my Mum - who has listened to my stories - on most occasions, with her mouth wide open!

      To, Karen, Louise, Tina, June, Sandra, Lynell and Mandy - you, in particular have lived this rollercoaster of emotions with me. You listened, you laughed and you cried with me every step of the way. Love you all x

      A shout out to the handful of nice, decent men, I have come across online - you have allowed me to keep my faith in the opposite sex.

      To all the idiots wrapped in ripped tinfoil - you didn't break me, in fact you made me stronger - strong enough to share my stories with other unsuspecting women. Perhaps there was a reason to endure the madness!

      To those of you who know me well, you have heard a lot of these stories before - oh, how we laughed, but I hope you enjoy seeing them written down. For those who do not know me - I hope you enjoy the read and learn a lot about the world of online dating.

      I have no doubt, if you have tried online dating, you will relate to some of these stories. If you are considering trying online dating, then go for it, but I hope reading my experiences will help you become better prepared to cope with the madness of it all.

      All the stories in this book are factual, albeit, the actual names of the people involved have been changed.

      Enjoy!

      Introduction

      Online Dating has fast become a major money making industry. Advertising in the press, on TV, on the internet etc. shows it as an exciting and successful way to find love. This awareness has more and more singles running to their laptop in pursuit of happiness.

      Yes, it can work for some people and yes, there are many success stories. However, there is also a sinister side to online dating with many unhappy and distressing stories, which people are not necessarily aware of as they step into the world of online - these tend not to be advertised.

      Having tried online dating on and off for over 4 years (both on a free and a paid site), I have finally come to the realisation that it's time to jump off the emotional rollercoaster that online dating puts you on.

      During my time online, I have met a few decent men and do know of some success stories (so not claiming that everyone online is bad) - however, from my experiences and those of a few of my friends, the bad by far outweigh the good and therefore would like to share some of my experiences. Perhaps this insight will provide unsuspecting, decent women (and indeed men) with a greater awareness about the broken world of online dating and the addictive spell it can put you under.

      Unlike a packet of cigarettes, which come with a Government health warning smoking can damage your health - online dating doesn't come with a similar warning that online dating can play havoc with your emotions.

      Unfortunately, there is too much deceit, lies and inconsiderate treatment of people's feelings going on and I am not simply referring to false photos, sex talk etc.

      False photos - yes it is frustrating when you turn up to meet someone and they look nothing like their photos, which were obviously taken years ago and from a good angle, but all you have wasted here is a little of your time, no major investment in your feelings.

      Re. the sex talk, requests for naughty photos etc. Well, if this is not what you are looking for, you simply ignore them. At least these people are being upfront about what they are looking for and if it's not what you want, then move away from it - again, no real damage done.

      The real problem that I have encountered from online dating is not really with this behaviour, it is with the behaviour of men, who turn out not to be whom they appear or have major issues that they are unable to shake off - these are the ones that can hurt your feelings and do some real damage to decent, innocent people who are genuinely looking for true friendship/love.

      Obviously, as a woman online dater, my experiences are with men and therefore my stories are predominantly about how men treat women online. I have, however, spoken to and met some decent men online too and know that they have also come across women that are as equally as broken, untrusting and deceitful as some of the men.

      I am in no way a man hater - in fact, quite the opposite, I love men and do believe there are as many good men out there as bad, perhaps not online though.

      There will be a lot of women online with less than good intentions, but genuinely believe they will be outnumbered ten-fold by the men with less than good intentions.

      Sadly, many people may arrive online perfectly balanced, but end up with issues due to how they are treated and what they experience. Once you have experienced being betrayed, lied to and used, you can end up untrusting and paranoid moving forward. However, you have to be careful that you don't take this newly found, untrusting and paranoid side of your nature into future potential relationships (as you could lose out on a good one). Try to take control of the situation, just be yourself, but stay a little wary until you know all is ok.

      I have a friend who is a Medium and runs a Telephone Line - giving people readings over the phone. On speaking to him recently, he advised me that almost every second call consists of people pouring out their heart about bad experiences they have had from online dating. Some of these women and men are in a very distressed state, looking for someone to point them in the right direction.

      Whether you believe in Mediums or not is irrelevant here, what is relevant is the amount of people that have been damaged by the world of online dating. It is also likely that many people have gone for counselling due to the emotional damage that online dating has caused them.

      As an experienced online dater, what I would tell people who are considering giving online dating a go is to make sure you are emotionally stable. If you are feeling lonely, desperate, or emotionally vulnerable in any way, don't do it.

      People online don't know you personally, and are therefore unlikely to extend the basic courtesies one would with someone we have to interact with every day.

      My own bad experiences, combined with those of some friends had me joking about eventually writing a book on this topic - so, here I am, putting pen to paper to share some of my own and friends' experiences. It is obvious there is a pattern of behaviour online and perhaps being forewarned, may allow people to become forearmed.

      Despite online dating being extremely common, there is still a massive taboo surrounding the subject, with many people denying that

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