Unrepresented: How to Take Your Ex to Court

Unrepresented

How to Take Your Ex to Court Without Representation

by Angela Boxell

Published by Angela Boxell at Smashwords

Copyright 2013

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person,please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard workof this author.

Disclaimer and Legal Information:

Information contained within this publication does not constitute legal or professional advice or service of any kind. To obtain such services or advice the reader is to consult with a qualified attorney or other applicable professional in their state.

The purchaser of this publication assumes full responsibility for the use of these materials and information, including but not limited to suggestions and ideas that are contained in this publication or are a result of reading this publication.

The author specifically disclaims all responsibility for any liability, loss or risk, personal or otherwise, on behalf of the reader of this material, directly or indirectly, by use and application of the contents of this material. By reading the material the reader acknowledges that they understand this disclaimer. Please consult applicable laws and regulations and competent counsel to insure that the use of this material as well as all your actions conform to all applicable laws.

Table of Contents

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter14

Chapter 15

Chapter16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Appendix A

Appendix B

Resources Section

Chapter One

Recognizing and Taking the First Step

The reality for most of us in this day and age is that the economy is spinning out of control and leaving many people with budgets that don’t allow extras. Hiring a lawyer each time an issue arises with an ex is no exception. Most people are struggling just to put food on the table and know that paying some high priced attorney is not practical. There is no doubt that many people already suffering are feeling desperate to end the wars with an ex and learn how to self-represent to save money.

Recognizing that there is an ongoing situation and many years of issues ahead with an ex is important to know. If there are children as a result of the relationship you are likely to have on and off issues with that ex throughout your child’s entire youth, that’s eighteen to twenty-one years people! Now there is no reason to pay for representation when Unrepresented can walk you through every court battle with an ex and save you thousands of dollars in the process.

Exes are exes for a reason and even though most will go their separate ways when they can no longer see eye-to-eye with one another. The reality is, an ex won’t just go away, in fact, they can hang around like that Christmas tie Aunt Millie bought you. Issue after issue, you tug at that tie to keep it from squeezing the air out of you, even though you would much rather throw it away. In most cases these situations only become more intense, which is common for couples that have children together and end the relationship. The only legal way to get through issues with an ex is court.

This book was written for several reasons the biggest, to let you know you are not alone. There are many people searching for ways to put issues with an ex behind them so they can move on, without breaking the bank.

For many years, I battled three exes with excessive issues and made mistakes along the way. People do learn from their mistakes and that’s the second reason for this book, because I learned from my mistakes and want to help give you the power to stop history from repeating itself. Most people have enough issues to deal with such as jobs, bills, and family let alone adding an ex into the equation. For those of you dealing with an ex and court, reading the chapters that pertain to the issues you are going through in your life right now, can help you avoid making the same mistakes I have and present any court case dealing with an ex in confidence. Learning the process of self-representation has saved my family thousands of dollars, many headaches, and lots of time.

Whether you were married to your ex, had children with them, or your financial situation won’t allow you to hire representation this book can help. This tool can be used right from the beginning, at the point where you realize you need to go to court, to presenting your case in front of a judge in confidence. Unrepresented was designed to help whether you are dealing with one or ten exes, and as many times as you need to prepare and appear in court.

There are millions of split families and relationships. Life’s not all white picket fences and roses for the majority of us. The reality is that most people either have an ex or know someone who does. If we dig a little deeper we’d probably find that behind closed doors many of those who have ended a relationship are also dealing with constant battles and disagreements with an ex as well.

If there are children involved we are bound to these exes by law. Reading this book will give you the upper hand to not only defend yourself in court against an ex, but learn how to deal with them outside of court as well. So let them bring it on!

Even if you get along and communicate well with this ex, you may still need to go into court and make things legal at some point. One of the many reasons court may still be necessary is to have your ex state on court record that the minor child is their biological child, which requires both parents in court. Many times it’s both parents’ intentions to remain friends or be civilized because of the child between them, but then a new boyfriend, girlfriend, or spouse comes into the picture and all hell breaks loose!

There are other reasons why the relationship with an ex can go sour, but because of the need to cover the most important topics here, I’ll spare you. Although, not every issue dealing with an ex is listed in the book forty of the most common ones are.

I wish you the best of luck through every dilemma you may encounter with your ex and the court process. My hope is that "Unrepresented" saves you and your family time, stress, and money.

Why File for a Court Date?

In case you find yourself questioning whether court is really necessary, below are some common reasons why a person may need to file for a court date:

*Have constant arguments with an ex that never get resolved and only escalate?

*Have an ex who tries to run each situation and acts as if they are more superior?

*Have an ex who tries to sabotage you or your spouse’s relationship with your child?

*Have an ex who withholds your parenting time because of child support or because they are upset with you?

*Have an ex who pays support part of the time?

*Have an ex who refuses to pay child support?

*Have an ex who threatens you, your family, or friends?

*Need a divorce with or without children involved?

*Need an ex removed from your home?

*Need support, custody, or paternity established?

*Need personal belongings returned?

*Have an ex who has kicked you out of your home?

*Have an ex violating a previous court order?

*Need to dismiss an attorney from your case?

*Have an ex that you suspect is abusing or neglecting your child?

*Have an ex who is assisting your child with resisting visits?

*Need to file for a support modification?

*Have an ex who causes problems with your spouse or friend?

*Have an ex who is harassing you on the phone or in person?

*Have an ex who is unstable moving your child around too much?

*Have an ex who is using drugs or alcohol while in the presence of your child?

*Have an ex who has withheld important information from the courts such as income, child care cost, a move, etc.

The reality is that no matter how many issues and exes are involved stress will be a factor for not only you but your family as well. Stop all the arguments even if you feel you have every reason to defend yourself and just want to give that ex a piece of your mind.

An ex may be threatening that they have hired the best attorney money can buy. Don’t let that intimidate you because the law is still the law. Maybe they have found the best attorney available to them; this shouldn’t affect you in the slightest, as long as you have done nothing against the law and you know your ex is in the wrong and they have no proof.

Example, your ex has violated a previous court order withholding your child’s visits; you want your visits to resume, however, your ex has informed you that they have hired a great attorney that’ll make sure you never get your visits back. You know you are a safe parent; your ex is just making things up as they go because they are mad at you over your new relationship, stand your ground in court — it’s a violation of your parental rights to be refused visitation. The ex should be held in contempt of court for breaking the previous court order.

Be sure there is no proof that an ex can bring forward in court, like that you are unfit in any way, and that it is not just hear-say. With no proof against you, not even an attorney can change the judge’s mind — that’s why we have laws in place. Let your ex get fired up but don’t stoop to their level—just take them to court.

Most civil cases can be handled by the person who is need of the court date. A civil case is when two parties explain to a judge what they would like to see happen in their case—where no one is facing jail. Sometimes, even in a civil case someone may be facing a jail sentence due to failure to pay child support or for child abuse. If the person being accused is innocent then there is hope for the case. The accused may consider hiring representation. If you are behind on child support there are still some tips in this book that can help you. You will still need to build a case even if you are facing jail and the courts will need to hear your side, so be ready. You should find the section in this book that covers the topic you need and go into court well prepared. If you would be sentenced-it won’t be forever and your child support will continue to add up on you. Why not know what the law says you can deduct or are entitled to and know what your state guidelines can offer you?

By no means should you ever go into court with a chip on your shoulder or a banjo on your knee! You may know you are entitled to something but you still need to remain polite to all parties involved and concentrate on your proof to present your case well. The judge will go by the law, however, it’s not recommended to carry on in a rude fashion because things could turn around in your case, so just be polite.

Where Do I Start?

The first question most people ask is where do I start? Although, the exact reason you are reading this book is unclear to me, I can walk you from start to end on most issues that deal with an ex and court. Most of the more common forms that are generally filed in civil court are small claims, divorce, child support, paternity, and custody cases. If you cannot locate answers to all of your questions in this chapter, you can always skim through the book and see if you can find the exact topic you are looking for.

First, know why you are in need of a court date. Next, make notes on a piece of paper or journal information that pertains to your case. These notes should contain your ex’s complete name, address, employers name and address, and any contact numbers for them such as, a friend or relative. The reason contact numbers is when you file on someone the courts will require the correct contact information, in case they need to mail the person documents or make direct contact with them. Having this information at your fingertips will save you steps later. The same is true if the courts tell you will be the one responsible for mailing an ex court documents.

Should I Dismiss my Attorney?

Now, is a good time to dismiss that attorney if that is your intention? Be aware that dismissing an attorney in the middle of your case can put the case on hold; however, this should take no more than fifteen days maximum. Check with the clerk in the county where you file to get an exact time in which an attorney has to withdraw from your case through the courts. The time frame will differ from state to state and should not cause any damage to your case.

Maybe it’s that your attorney is charging you too much or dragging the court dates out which in turn is raising their fees, or they are not doing an adequate job on your case.

If it’s your intention to dismiss this attorney, start by writing them a brief, polite letter of explanation asking them to withdraw. If you wish to explain yourself you could mention that due to your current financial status you can no longer afford their representation. The courts, depending on what state you are filing in will generally require that this letter of explanation be followed through. Some states will ask that you send or file the letter through the courts, while others require that you send the letter to the attorney you want to dismiss. Either way, make a copy of this letter as proof for your records, just in case the attorney does not withdraw in a timely manner. You can ask them by phone or in person when they expect to withdraw. The attorney should withdraw through the courts in a timely fashion. You are also entitled to a copy of your file and in most cases it should be free.

If you do not have an attorney representing you or your attorney has withdrawn, you should be able to get the ball rolling. In most states if an attorney has not withdrawn, the courts will not let you proceed with the case on your own until this step is complete. In my state the courts will not allow a person who is represented to write their judge.

Paternity

Do you have a child and someone is seeking the paternity of them? Are you the one seeking paternity of a child you believe to be yours? Are you seeking paternity for child support and or custody?

There are a few things that need to be clarified as far as custody goes; if you are the one who resides with your child, you are the Custodial Parent and there is reasonable representation that you can obtain for support and paternity related cases only. This representation cost less than fifty dollars and is a one-time fee; this is not like hiring a regular attorney. These attorneys are called Prosecuting Attorneys and they work for the state under these child support offices.

The next section brushes over child support agencies, if you need more information locate the chapter on custody. Let’s say you are the custodial parent and you are seeking paternity because you know that this is the only way to get child support ordered and custody established. The most economical way for you to start is through a child support enforcement agency. There are web-sites listed at the back of this book to help you locate any of the agencies available. These web-sites offer phone numbers, addresses, and some self-help forms. Look up the child support agency in the town where your child resides, and get the phone number so you can call ahead and schedule an appointment with one of their representative’s. These agencies are an excellent resource for anyone seeking child support and or paternity. They will assist in many ways and won’t cost as much as hiring an independent attorney.

If you are the non-custodial parent (meaning your child does not reside with you), and you have received a summons of some sort from a child support office or the courts, do not miss your appointment, reschedule if need be, but do not disregard the summons.

If you need help building a case after paternity is