Voyage of the Heart

To My Wife And Best Friend Mary

Thank You For Letting Me Spend A Month At Sea

And Almost Two Years Writing And Editing,

So I Could Actually Finish This Book.

Thank You !

With Deepest Thanks And Gratitude

To My Lord And Saviour Jesus Christ

For Giving Me The Boat And The Heart To Take This Voyage,

And For Blessing My Trip, My Life, And The

Production Of This Book Beyond My Wildest Dreams.

Painting: Christ Our Pilot

Artist: Warner Sallman

Used with permission

Chapter 1

Cruising On (Not So) Dry Land

Vaarrraaauuum!! I cringed as yet another tractor trailer roared by me sending a wave of water and spray against my windshield. My view of the road was obliterated for a second as my wipers beat furiously to cut through the wall of water that swept over me. My mirrors told me that the suction from the truck had caused the boat trailer to fishtail again. Two tons of sailboat precariously balanced on the small lightweight trailer now swayed back and forth behind my van. The large boat on its trailer outweighed and towered above my Astro van making it seem tiny by comparison. I could feel all that weight moving the back of my van and threatening to push me out of control and off the road or, worse yet, into the path of the next tractor-trailer that passed me. I slowed down carefully and gradually, trying to steer the straightest course possible so the trailer would stop swaying. As I did, yet another truck thundered by, again flooding my van and windshield with water.

I had been driving south on interstate 81 after dark in a torrential downpour. I learned quickly that the homemade trailer that came with my sailboat was not really adequate to tow the boat a long distance at highway speeds. The small single axle trailer may have been fine for towing the boat a few miles down the road to our local marina, but it started to sway dangerously at any speed over forty. This was especially true if I did not steer a perfectly straight course or the wind from a passing truck gave it a push. I was forced to crawl along at forty miles per hour, keeping my oversize load as far over as I could in the right lane, while trucks and other traffic zoomed by me doing seventy. I shuddered as these vehicles blew by my wide, swaying load, missing it by what seemed like inches and shooting by me as though I was standing still. The relentless downpour, the spray from passing vehicles, the darkness and the poor visibility from my worn wiper blades fighting a losing battle with the water all began to take their toll on me. I felt like I had been driving forever, underwater, in a dark endless abyss. My slow speed made the already long drive to Florida seem unbearable. I had accepted the fact that at this speed it would take two or three days to make what would normally be a twenty-four hour trip, but right now the thought of this seemed overwhelming. Although I was only doing forty I felt like I was going too fast and my rig was out of control. I was physically and mentally exhausted and emotionally drained. I continued to push through the night with a death grip on the steering wheel. My mind’s eye saw visions of the van lying on its side in the ditch and the beautiful boat that I had so carefully cleaned, waxed and polished broken and scattered across the highway in several pieces, like a giant fiberglass egg. This is crazy, I thought. What am I doing out here? Why am I doing this? Heavenly Father, please allow me to arrive safely at my destination so that I might really take this once in a lifetime voyage, I prayed. Help me, Lord, to have positive experiences, lifelong memories and to touch hearts and lives for you as I travel both on land and in the water. Please place your angels around me and slow down the rain and the traffic. Be with me now as I travel and help me to remember that I am in your hands and that this is your trip. Amen.

Ever since I got hooked on sailing twenty years ago I had been infatuated with the idea of traveling a long distance using just sails and the wind. The very first summer I learned to sail while playing with my uncle’s Sea Snark, I felt a strong desire to do more than just zigzag back and forth across the lake. One windy morning I tied the Snark to the top of my car and drove to a boat launch at the south end of the lake. With a stiff south wind and three foot waves pushing me from behind, I sailed the tiny craft all the way to a park at the north end of the lake, a distance of about fourteen miles. That small boat was little more than a shallow Styrofoam bathtub with a sail, but when I stepped out of it at my destination three hours later, I felt like a great voyager and was hooked on sailing for life!

Over the years I had owned several different boats. Most of them had a small cabin that slept three or four with a sink, a stove, an icebox and a port-a-potty. I was intrigued by the idea of traveling and exploring by boat and living in the boat. My hopelessly romantic mind told me that a sailboat that was also a floating camper had to be the best thing in the world. What could be better than cruising as far as the wind and waves would take you by day and then tying up to spend the night at a different dock each night? Or dropping anchor near an island or beach and wading ashore to rest, swim or fish? You could cook dinner on shore or on the boat before settling into your bunk for the night. Through the open hatch above your face you could watch the top of the mast swing slowly back and forth as if to point out each constellation in the star-filled summer sky. You would be rocked gently to sleep by the boat and awaken refreshed to a sunrise over the water. For a sailor who was also a fisherman, breakfast or dinner might be the catch of the day. In my mind the only thing better than owning a waterfront home would be traveling in a cruising sailboat, a tiny mobile waterfront home that was in a new and different place every morning

It was these romanticized, idealistic dreams of cruising with sails and living in a boat that caused me to subject my children, my wife and my friends to many adventure cruises over the years. I had always been a school band director and having the whole summer off made it easy to plan extended sailing trips to far away destinations. Over the years we had traveled up and down the New York State Barge Canal system and through the largest of New York's Finger Lakes. We had been through the Welland Canal beside oceangoing ships and had explored the U.S. and Canadian shoreline of Lake Ontario and Lake Erie spending a night in each harbor along the way. We had crossed Lake Erie and Lake Ontario several times in small boats fighting big waves. Three summers ago my son and I sailed a small day-sailer from New Jersey to Virginia Beach on the Intra Coastal Waterway surviving eight foot waves on the last day of that trip. Once I even sailed a canoe across Lake Ontario equipped with a homemade sailing rig that I had built and was trying to have patented. There were many experiences and countless memories, some of which would last a lifetime. Yes, there were some beautiful times, just like the ones I imagined when I dreamed about traveling by sailboat, but these idyllic moments were actually few and far between in the real world of traveling in a small boat. Many times a good part of the trip would be frustrating, disappointing and a lot of hard work. There were many scary moments when we were lost or fighting huge waves, rain and high winds. I shuddered as I remembered times that I had inadvertently placed myself and, worse yet, my children in dangerous life threatening situations.

I continued to drive through the darkness and the rain, reflecting on the highlights of past sailing trips. I smiled as I remembered my children diving off the boat or laughing gleefully seated on the bow with their feet dangling over the side. They loved to feel the boat rise up and then slam down into the next wave, sending spray into their faces and splashing their legs and feet. I could still see them huddled together in their pj’s, nodding and smiling as a lock operator on the New York State Barge Canal serenaded them with his accordion on a still summer night.

As I weighed all of the fond memories against the negative ones I realized that there must be something in me that loved doing this. Here I was at age fifty-two now poised on the verge of the longest and most demanding sailing trip I had ever attempted. Ever since I owned my first sailboat, I had dreamed of someday sailing a boat down the Intra Coastal Waterway from upstate New York to Florida. This always seemed like the ultimate sailing adventure, sailing, living and camping on the boat for a month or more, passing through nine different states and seeing almost the entire east coast. As a Christian, this was also an excellent way to reach and touch hearts for Jesus Christ. Going through that many states and passing by that many boats, marinas, yacht clubs and waterfront homes in a large boat with a highly visible, thought- provoking Christian name could be a powerful missionary trip. If I flew a Christian flag from the top of my mast instead of an American flag as most boats did, there would be little doubt what I believed, what I stood for, and who I was sailing for. How many different people would I meet and have the chance to talk to along the way as I tied up or anchored in a different place each night? There was no telling how many lives I might touch covering most of the east coast on a waterway frequented by upper class Americans cruising for pleasure.

As I planned the trip, I remembered that when we sailed south on the Intra Coastal to Virginia Beach a stiff south wind was in our face most of the way. My sailor’s instincts told me that if I started in Florida and sailed north to New York there was a much better chance that I would have the wind behind me and could use sail power more often. I was very intrigued by the relative safety yet long distance of this trip. The Intra Coastal Waterway was a system of canals, rivers and bays connected and maintained to allow boaters to travel up and down the east coast safely inland without having to go out into the open Atlantic. There was only one short stretch off the New Jersey coast where boats would have to venture into the ocean for about thirty miles to get into New York harbor and the Hudson River. This made me a little nervous, but a wise captain could always do that short stretch when the weather was perfect and stay close to the Jersey Shore. Besides, thirty miles was no big deal. I could do that in four hours motoring at full speed if I had to. How bad could it possibly get out there in just four hours? After having been caught many times in some very serious waves in much smaller boats on Lake Ontario and Lake Erie I felt confident that I could safely navigate my way through almost anything.

God must have really wanted me to take this trip, because the chain of events that led to the acquisition of the large boat swaying behind me in the darkness was too miraculous and unbelievable to have happened by chance. I had sold my last cruising sailboat many years ago when my wife and children had lost interest in going sailing with me. I got back into it a few years ago when the Lord blessed me with a small used day-sailer that I was able to pick up for next to nothing. After lovingly refurbishing it to look almost new, I sailed it to Virginia Beach with my son. That trip rekindled my love of sailing and traveling by boat and I caught myself looking at and dreaming about larger sailboats with live aboard space. Although I couldn’t really afford one on a Christian school teacher’s salary, it was fun to look and dream. About that time I was learning to get great deals and make extra money buying and selling things on e-bay. Over the course of two years I bought, fixed up, sold and traded seven different boats and several motors and trailers. With the Lord’s help, a lot of hard work and by being honest, I was able to work my way from a day-sailer to a twenty-five foot sailing yacht without spending any money out of my own pocket! I had to drive to Michigan, Cape Cod and the Jersey Shore towing boats, but now that I owned a boat that was larger, newer and nicer than I ever dreamed possible it all seemed worth it.

My twenty-five foot Hunter was far larger and heavier than any boat I had ever owned and it really was like new inside and out. Roomy, clean and loaded with features and equipment, it had a trailer, a shallow draft fixed keel and an almost new Honda four stroke outboard! It was hard to believe that I finally owned a boat big enough to be considered a yacht (at least in my own mind) and one that I felt was big enough to sail to Florida. I knew that the good Lord wanted me to have this particular boat because it was already equipped with everything I would need for this trip including the shallow draft keel. I was to learn only too well later on how critical it was to have a shallow draft boat along certain sections of the Intra Coastal Waterway. I had felt God’s hand and his blessing on every transaction as several of my boats sold for much more than I expected. The most dramatic example of his touch was when the former owner of my Hunter agreed to accept a small down payment from me and wait until spring for the balance, even though he had a firm offer for the full amount from someone in his local area!

Because the Lord had blessed me with such a beautiful boat so perfect for my needs, I vowed to give it a name that would glorify him and remind people of his presence. God Speed was the name I chose, the classic two word blessing people used to wish someone a fast and a safe journey. This name was even more significant since every sailboat relied on the wind for speed and God controls all winds and weather. Another interpretation might even be the wish that Jesus would hurry and return to the earth soon during these last days of sin, troubled times, wars and tragedy. I had a sign painter design a custom boat graphic with the words God Speed in script and a large Christian fish emblem on both sides and on the back of the boat. This highly visible name and emblem on such a large boat were now in the face of every trucker and motorist who passed me as a reminder and witness to the existence of God. Perhaps it was even his will that I was not able to go any faster. At forty miles per hour far more people would pass me and see the boat than would have if I was able to cruise along at sixty-five or seventy! I began to realize again how many lives I might touch just towing this monster down the road, not to mention sailing it all up the coast of America! It also occurred to me how much the enemy would like to prevent me from being out here and from taking this trip. He wanted me to get discouraged, lose heart, forget what I came for and give up this crazy idea. If I gave up now due to the rain, weariness and fear he would win a major victory. A new desire and focus came over me as I gripped the wheel ever tighter, determined to keep the boat safe and keep going. I will make it, I vowed. I can do this. I am going to put this boat in the water and make this trip as long as the van can still pull it and the motor and sails will move me forward. I will make this happen as long as there is a way to keep going and I am still breathing! I believe with all my heart that the Lord gave me this boat to make this trip for him. I have waited, planned and prepared for this, and I have invested too much time and effort to give up now and turn back. I started to get excited again as thoughts came to me that all I had to do was keep driving, make it to Florida, and I would actually be able to point my bow northward and set sail on the voyage that I had dreamed about for so long!

Chapter 2

Refreshment and Rest?

My fuel gauge told me I would need gas soon, my stomach was starting to call for food, and my eyes, brain and jangled nerves badly needed a break. I was somewhere in Maryland and the next exit looked like it was home to a large truck stop so I signaled, slowed my rig and started down the exit ramp. It felt good to be out of the stress and noise of all the traffic. I thought it might be a good idea to get something to eat and then sleep for a while. Maybe if I slept until after midnight and then drove in the wee hours of the night there would be fewer trucks on the road and perhaps the rain would have stopped by then. It was nice to be out of the driver's seat, I thought as I stretched my legs and arms. Protected from the rain by a canopy I gassed up outside the windows of a truck stop cafeteria, in full view of the truckers and other travelers within. It looked warm and inviting in there and each time the door opened the smell of hot food wafted out to tempt me. After paying I called my wife to let her know my progress and then eagerly assessed the choices of food available from the stainless steel buffet. Staring hungrily through the plate glass I ignored the greasy fingerprints on it but quickly realized that the food behind it was nowhere near as appealing up close as it had looked and smelled from outside. Maybe I had been driving too long, but everything looked either old, runny, dried up or congealed. Some of the items seemed like a guaranteed invitation to heartburn city and the hefty prices would certainly put a dent in the limited food budget I had for my month long odyssey. Oh well, when in doubt go with what you know. I had lots of provisions stowed away in the storage compartments of the boat, and I was going to be climbing up in there now to sleep so I chose not to dip into the food money just yet.

As I came back out to move my rig a young man who had been pumping his gas approached me with a friendly smile. Wow! That sure is a beautiful boat and I love the name on it! I'm a believer too, he stated proudly. I told him about my plans for the trip and how I hoped to witness to people or at least remind them about God as I traveled. What a neat idea and a great trip. I wish I could go with you, he said sincerely, with admiration in his voice (admiration that I certainly didn't deserve). God Speed, Brother! Have a safe trip. I hope you make it. Nice meeting you! He showered me with encouragement and blessings and shook my hand enthusiastically as we parted company. Lord, was that just a chance encounter or did you put that guy in this spot at this moment just to lift me up and inspire me to keep going? Thanks Lord! I thought. That was a great reminder, showing me how visible the large boat with its prominent lettering really was and the kind of impact it had on other people who saw it. A smile came to my weary face as I mused and kidded myself that perhaps the friendly, good looking young man had been an angel placed in just the right place at the right time to spur me on and lift my spirits.

As I opened my van door to climb into the driver's seat, a tall burly man wearing camouflage approached and asked me about the Christian Outdoor Videos that were advertised by the lettering on my van. Besides being the band director at a Christian school, the Lord had allowed me to film and produce eight different outdoor videos over the years. Being an avid hunter and wildlife photographer, the videos had come about as the Lord blessed and used one of my hobbies beyond my wildest dreams. I sold and distributed them as part of an outreach ministry to outdoorsmen and nature lovers. I was often to show my videos and share my testimony at church game dinners, hunters’ banquets and men's breakfasts. To advertise my videos and availability as a guest speaker, I had lettering on my van to call attention to my ministry. Since the van was already lettered for Christian ministry it gave me the excuse to have the words God Loves You included on the back door. The lettering had drawn the attention of this large man who appeared to be a hunter. What type of outdoor videos do you have? he asked with a hearty smile and sincere interest. I handed him one of my brochures from the pocket behind the driver’s seat. Are you the guy that has the Christian radio show for outdoorsmen every Saturday morning? he asked as he looked eagerly at the brochure.

No that's ‘God's Great Outdoors’ with Gerry Caillouet, I replied. I told him that I met and worked with Gerry several years ago in Ohio to produce a video with the Christian Bow Hunters of America. He was a main character in that video which tells the story of two men who get saved while on a hunting trip.

He's a good guy with quite a ministry, the man said, adding that he listened to that program every week. These videos you've produced look great, he continued. It looks like the Lord is using you too.

Well I fall short a lot, but I try, I replied. Then I went on to tell him about the voyage I was attempting. He too wished me the best on my journey, thanked me for the brochure and shared the hope that I would be safe and reach my destination.

I picked a spot that was easy to pull into and would be easy to pull out of without backing up as I eased my rig in among the many tractor-trailers parked behind the truck stop. I noticed several more trucks heading down the exit ramp and pulling into the large parking area. Apparently other drivers had the same idea I did - rest for a while and head out again later to do battle with road and spray at a calmer, quieter time or in the comfortable safety of daylight. The heavy damp night air was tainted with the smell of diesel fuel from the idling trucks. I didn't know much about diesel engines, but I did know that many truckers left their engines running for long periods while they were parked so they wouldn't have to restart them. As I listened to the rumble of truck engines around me, it occurred to me that with all the noise and smell this might not be the best place to take a nap. Oh well. As worn out as I am, I should be able to sleep through just about anything, I thought.

When the boat sat on its trailer the lowest boarding point was at least ten feet off the ground. I had brought an aluminum stepladder with me for getting up into the boat while on the road. This lightweight old ladder had a loose support brace and was not known for its stability. My daughter had broken her arm falling from it as a young girl trying to help me with a roofing project. To get up into the security and comfort of my floating camper on land I had to stand on the very top step (the one that says, Do not stand on this step) and reach to pull myself up and over the side. Coming down was even more treacherous, as you had to lower your body and feet to a solid standing position on the top step and then gradually relax your death-grip on the boat to descend when you were sure the ladder wasn't going anywhere. When I was safely aboard I pulled the ladder up after me and folded it on the deck. More secure than in any marina, I could then rest easy knowing that no intruder could get into the boat during the night (unless they carried a ladder around with them).

Once inside, the touch of a finger on a ceiling light fixture illuminated the cozy interior of the boat. The small space that would be my home for the next month seemed safe and appealing. I nodded with approval as I admired the clean carpeting and new-looking upholstery. The natural wood grain of the dark teak bulkhead and cabinets had a rich glow in the soft light. Countertops and sink shone with a reflective sparkle, and there was a place for everything and everything in its place. I had spent the last month cleaning, vacuuming, shampooing, caulking and polishing. I also made several improvements and minor repairs, installing a heavy-duty motor bracket and a new lighted compass to get the boat ready for this once in a lifetime trip. On the main bulkhead was a framed eight by ten print of the famous oil painting, Christ our Pilot by Warner Sallman. This painting shows a young man steering a ship through huge crashing waves on a dark stormy night. Standing behind him with one hand on his shoulder and the other pointing the way through the storm is Jesus. I framed and hung this picture in the cabin as a constant reminder and encouragement for myself during the trip. As my gaze fell on the picture, mixed feelings of awe, thanksgiving, joy and accomplishment welled up in me as my weary spirit was overcome by emotion. Heavenly Father, I can't thank you enough for giving me a boat that is this big, this beautiful and this well equipped, I praised. Lord, it is hard for me to believe that this is really my boat and that I am really here. Please keep the boat safe and protect me as I travel. Thank you for the work that was accomplished to get it ready and your provision and blessings that have allowed me to make this trip!

Too excited and worn out to pull out utensils and prepare real food I dug greedily into my stash of homemade trail mix. The plump juicy raisins mingled with the taste of peanuts in my mouth, and I felt the sweetness from the chocolate chips send a surge of energy through my tired body. I marveled at how good the simplest food always tastes when you are starving or in the middle of an adventure far from home. I sipped on the straw of a partially frozen drink box and thought how good it also tasted. I had forgotten that the front compartment where I slept was filled with sail bags and the aluminum boom that attached to the mast. These items would be on deck when the boat was in the water, but for now they made the compact living space even smaller. Moving them out of the way and dousing the lights I stretched my weary body out on the front berth. The soft cushion felt wonderful beneath me as my knotted muscles and jangled nerves began to relax. My head settled into the softness and familiar smell of my pillow as I stared at the white fiberglass ceiling above my face. I was surprised at how much the street lights and headlights from passing vehicles lit the cabin and glared in my eyes. The steady rumble of idling truck engines all around me seemed louder as I tried to sleep, and the smell of diesel fuel was overwhelming. Although my body was relaxed my mind raced with thoughts and plans as I nervously anticipated what lay ahead and mentally reviewed the day's events. As I rushed to get an early start that morning I backed over a Styrofoam ice chest in my driveway with the boat trailer. Finally getting underway at two o’clock I hadn't gone three hundred yards down my street when a noise caused me to pull over and retrieve some tools I had left on the van roof after making some last minute repairs to the mast top antenna. Boy, I sure didn't get off to a very good start did I? I thought, disappointed in myself. I hoped that these miscues were not a preview of mistakes, oversights and mishaps that would befall me as I traveled, resulting in damage to the boat or a serious injury. Am I too old and too absent-minded to be doing this? I wondered. Will I have the physical strength and stamina I need in a desperate situation when I am alone? Well, I had made it this far, pulling the boat up and down the steep winding hills of Pennsylvania and through a torrential downpour, so I'll just have to continue to trust that the Lord is with me and rest in his strength.

It didn’t take much time for me to realize that with the noise and smell of the trucks, the bright lights, and my overactive excited mind, I wasn’t going to fall asleep anytime soon. It’s eleven o’clock and it looks like most of the truckers are pulling in for the night. That means there won’t be as much traffic out there now, I thought as my mind raced with ideas and plans. The heavy drumming of raindrops on the deck had slowed to a light pitter-patter, so I decided that this would be a good time to push on and gain as many miles as I could while driving conditions were better. I decided to drive until I felt really drowsy and could drop off easily. Then I could sleep until I woke up naturally, hopefully feeling rested and refreshed.

Back out on the highway things were better than before. The rain had slowed to a drizzle, and there were far fewer trucks blowing by me. I had brought some trail mix and a couple of drink boxes into the van to give me something to nibble on as I drove. My short break and the improved driving conditions gave me new confidence and a more positive mental attitude. Having food and drink both energized me and helped to pass the time as I plugged along in the darkness at my slow tedious pace. After three and a half hours I was feeling very drowsy. I was now on a stretch of highway that had an occasional stoplight. Side roads crossed the main drag every so often and right and left turns were allowed. Since traffic was very sparse at this hour it was easy to turn left, crossing both sides of the divided highway to pull into a commercial fuel stop that had a large truck parking area. Conditions at this parking lot were similar to the last one with truck noise, fuel smells and bright lights, but by now I was completely mentally and physically exhausted. Once safe inside the boat and sprawled out on my berth I drifted into a restless state of fitful sleep. I must have drifted into a deeper sleep, because I was startled awake by the shriek of an air brake being released and the roar of acceleration as a big rig pulled out to head for the highway. Praise the Lord, I got some sleep! I shouted happily. My joy lasted for all of twenty seconds as I fumbled for my watch in the darkness, discovering that it was only four forty-five in the morning and that I had slept for just two hours. I knew that it would be a waste of time to try to fall back to sleep now, so I encouraged myself with thoughts of how far I could get that day with such an early start and the fact that it would soon be daylight!

As I sat behind the wheel preparing to pull out of the parking area a prayer came to mind: Heavenly Father thank you for allowing me to get this far and for keeping the boat and the van safe. Speed me on my way, Lord, and travel with me. Please help the remaining miles and hours to pass quickly and give me a peace and a joy that passes all understanding. In Jesus’ mighty name I pray, Amen.

Chapter 3

Miracles, Stoplights and Rubber Fish

The parking area I was in was on the northbound side of the highway, but I was headed south and there was no light there. With the limited traffic in the dead of night it had been easy to turn left, cutting across both sides of the highway to pull in here with my slow moving load. As dawn approached, a steady stream of cars and trucks now flowed in both directions on this busy divided highway. I nosed forward hoping for an opening only to see an endless wall of bumper to bumper traffic whizzing by me in both directions in all four lanes. Turning right and merging to head back north would have been hard enough, but pulling out across all four lanes to turn left and head south was out of the question. If I was driving a sports car I might have had a fighting chance if an opening occurred, but driving a forty-foot long, four ton rig that did zero to forty in three minutes I was dead meat! At that very moment something that I believe was the first miracle of the trip occurred. As if on cue there was a huge gap in the traffic flow in both directions at once. I couldn’t believe it! There were no cars coming for half a mile from the right and for half a mile