God's Child

GOD’S CHILD

Published by Dawn Jacobs

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Dawn Jacobs

Cover Design by Miss Mae

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

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Table of Contents

Dedication

Thank You

Chapter 1: Death

Chapter 2: Questions

Chapter 3: Gabriel

Chapter 4: Worthy

Chapter 5: Life

Chapter 6: Paradise

Chapter 7: Sister

Chapter 8: Remembering

Chapter 9: Patience

Chapter 10: Hope

Chapter 11: Salvation

Chapter 12: Jesus

Chapter 13: Forgiveness

Chapter 14: Wings

About Dawn Jacobs

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DEDICATION

I would like to dedicate this book to my gifts from God, my family, my husband, three children, and my grandbabies. I hope this book will inspire them to follow their dreams. I pray they will continue to follow the will of God, first and foremost, in their lives, to continue to accept Jesus Christ as their personal savior, and continue to carry out His blessings to the world, with everyone they meet and speak, and in everything they do. I hope they realize that it is Jesus Christ with whom they travel in their day-to-day existence.

In addition, I would like to dedicate this to my late mother. I had hoped this book would have helped her to understand the passion and love I have for my Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ, the passion and love that I still have for her, for being my mother, and the reason I needed her to be at one with God. Moreover, if she is watching over me today, I pray that we will one day be together in heaven. God bless her soul and keep her with Him always.

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THANK YOU

I would like to thank my family for their devotion, encouragement, and love in addition to putting up with me, and for the loss of their time that was taken away from them to pursue my lifelong dream.

I would like to thank the many people who helped raise me, too many to list here; however, a select few come to mind: to Aunt Shirley Gilbert, to whom I owe many memories of laughter; to Uncle Lawrence and Aunt Romeena Hill, to whom I will forever be grateful for giving me such inspiration, and to whom I dedicate my teaching degree, which spawned me to continue with my writing. I would like to thank my late Aunt Connie and Uncle Sam Guagliardo for helping raise me to be the Christian that I am today. My belief is that she is still with me today, in spirit, in mind, and in presence although she has already left this world to see her heaven. She will always be in mine. I will always love you.

I would like to thank Reverend Marilyn Perrine for just being there, being my friend, and for being a woman minister in today’s society, for giving me the encouragement to do what my heart tells me to do, whether I know where it will lead me or not, and to keep the faith in the Lord, that can sometimes be so easily pushed aside.

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CHAPTER 1

Death

What will happen to me when I die? Where will I go? Will I ever come back? Is there really anything beyond death? I know these are age-old questions. I have wondered about them so many times myself, during early stages of growth, questioning religion, during bouts of depression or sickness, or when a loved one has passed. At this point in my life, I’ve lost my parents, my mother and step-father, and with the exception of my real father, with whom I’ve never had a relationship, both sets of my grandparents, and several aunts and uncles. I have seen a lot of death and contemplated my own. How would I die? When would I die? Would it be painful? Would it be in my sleep? Who wouldn’t want to die in their sleep? So peaceful, without pain, without struggles. Leaving a peace with your family too. Doesn’t that count for something?

I hate the idea of a funeral; it’s so depressing. I’ve always thought of being cremated, because I don’t want my body to rot in a hole and be eaten by bugs. I was brought forth from ash and I want to return to ash. What will happen to me when I die? Where will I go? Will I ever get to come back? Who really knows? Would I want to come back? How would I feel if I did get to come back? Would I be able to interact with my loved ones? What would be the point?

Well, I guess you will find that I had my answer sooner than expected. I died today. It wasn’t so horrible. I mean it was, to leave my family behind, but it wasn’t really, I finally get to be with Jesus. It’s not what you think. It wasn’t like in the movie, Ghost, where I just got up and looked at the shell that housed my soul lying there on the bed.

I had been sick for a long while and didn’t even know it. They said I had cancer. I won’t say what kind, because it doesn’t really matter. Cancer is death; death is cancer. It just wasn’t detected quickly enough, simple as that. It spread very rapidly and I didn’t have much time. They predicted three months, at the most, for me to live. That was four weeks ago. I didn’t want to die in the hospital. I wanted to be home with my family. I wanted to be in comfortable surroundings, my own home. I didn’t want anyone to see me in pain, forget the hospital visits. I wanted it all done my way. In control of my own life until the day I died, and afterward, I was going to be cremated.

I didn’t feel any more pain than what the doctors had prepared me for; it wasn’t so bad. After a while, I just kind of got used to everything. Although I had to teach myself how to ignore the pain and focus on something more concrete, like what I had to do to leave my loved ones behind. I didn’t want to burden my family with all the things left undone. I didn’t want my siblings to mourn, because they were losing me. I wanted to let them know how much I enjoyed being in their life, the impact they made on my life, and how happy I was to finally be at peace. A peace like they’d never be able to experience on Earth, a peace that although everyone expects to happen to them in their day to day existence on this planet, it never happens, a peace that only comes at one time in your life; it just happens to be death.

Because I was going to be cremated, I didn’t want anyone crying over a dead corpse. My body, an empty shell, was there, but my soul wasn’t. I knew that. I felt that. I felt souls when they left the body. Like I said, I’ve witnessed death. I felt the emptiness after the soul departed the room. Where did it go? Why did it go? I even felt empty after I lost a family member. It had to be their soul leaving me, right?

I assumed, because I lead the life of a Christian, I tithed, and attended church on a regular basis, that I would be on my way to heaven. Is that what made me a Christian? Absolutely not! I know that’s what a lot of people might think, but let me tell you people, think again. There’s more to being a Christian than going to church and tithing. It’s what you do when you leave that church that makes you a Christian. Do you continue to love Jesus, follow Jesus, and speak of Jesus to whom you meet? Do you forgive your brothers and sisters in Christ even though they would never think of forgiving you? Do you give of yourself, unconditionally?

I wanted my body parts that were salvageable, not eaten by the appalling cancer, to be donated to the needy. I didn’t want them wasting away. There are too many people in this world who need organs of every kind. Think of it. The cancer didn’t spread to my eyes, so why couldn’t someone use any part of my eyes they could to help someone else see. Skin can also be used. There are parts of your body that you’d never think of that could be donated. You won’t need it anymore, it served its purpose for you, so why not?

All I had to do was close my eyes and go to sleep. It was so peaceful; and there was no bright light like you might have heard of, like in the movies. Just go into the light. There was just peace, that needed solace we all want so intensely, and there was tranquility that is indescribable. Calming, soothing, warmth spread across my body. I felt all my forty-something years of life’s tension, stress, resistance, hurt, anger, flow out of my body beginning from my head down to my toes, evaporating into thin air. Then finally, at last there it was. Peace. It was almost like the spinal I had when I had my caesarean for my daughter, only a thousand times better.

The journey afterward? Well, the journey was nice. I mean really, peacefully pleasant. I just went to sleep. The best sleep I’ve ever experienced in my human life, a sleep with no dreams, so there were no nightmares, a sleep that was refreshing, and a restful sleep like I had never had before.

When I finally awoke from the peaceful slumber, it was only because someone was calling my name. I didn’t know if I wanted to wake up or enjoy the peace and quiet of the end of my life. I decided maybe I’m not dead and just listened. Again, there was a voice. I opened my eyes and stared at the ceiling for a moment