In Search of IT

IN SEARCH OF IT

If, after reading these pages, you can see yourself and all that surrounds you in a different way, and approach life in a more positive manner, then you will have discovered IT. You will have adjusted to a new way of thinking and viewing everything around you. You will understand and recognize a world filled with things that you may have never known existed before, or perhaps you were too preoccupied to notice. This understanding will lead you to a state of contentment that will allow you to progress further along the path of enlightenment. Your discovery of IT will give you the upper hand in reaching all your goals and obtaining peace of mind. You will learn to live in harmony with yourself and those around you which will generate positive energy that will guide and protect you throughout your life.

THE EARLY YEARS

It is uncertain as to what age a person is when they begin to contemplate the realities and mysteries of life, but for those that make that choice, they will have removed themselves from the realm of mediocrity onto a path of self gratification , unlike no other ever experienced. Peace and contentment will become the welcomed by-product of understanding. They will discover what IT is and hopefully apply IT to their everyday lives. To take this very important journey, it is necessary to start at the logical place, the beginning.

To better understand the physical, mental and emotional development of a human being, it is quite helpful to observe the juvenile and adolescent fauna around us, comparing the similarity of development between the animal kingdom and human beings. It is necessary to recognize that the infants and juveniles of both humans and animals are nearly all totally dependent upon the adult parent or parents for their physical survival and intellectual growth. Without the nurturing care of the adult parent or parents, the infant’s survival rate would be close to zero. This strong parental dependency in the infant stage, extends beyond the physical, to the intellectual and emotional levels, which at times are neglected by the parent on the false assumption that it is of little importance compared to the infant’s physical survival and well being. On a comparative basis this may be true, but a person’s intellectual and emotional development will become extremely important for that person’s ability to cope with those constantly arising problems of adolescence and adulthood.

The necessity to harmoniously co-exist with friends, acquaintances and even strangers, whom we are continually encountering in our everyday adult lives, is tantamount to our mental and emotional health. Therefore, without proper parental guidance a juvenile could quite easily form unacceptable habits and anti social behaviour, even malicious tendencies without any knowledge or remorse of wrong doing. This, in later years, will most certainly hinder, if not prevent, further emotional and spiritual development for those particular individuals.

To obtain emotional stability requires support and affection from family and friends which in turn builds self confidence and a secure sense of belonging. Without this support and affection, a juvenile might feel abandoned, or at least left to face and solve problems on their own.

It has often been said that children are cruel, and by and large that statement is quite accurate. This of course, not only applies to Homo sapiens but to juveniles of most animal species. They can be rough, intolerant, selfish, or deliberately mean. There are a number of reasons for these negative personality traits, some inherent and others acquired. Often, the lack of parental guidance is a major contributing factor. It is mainly through the adult parent that the juvenile is taught restraint and respect for their youthful associates, and without that guidance, the child is left to develop according to natural selection.

Another contributing factor for this early manifestation of cruelty is the inherent need for social acceptance by one’s youthful peers, and what better way, one might reason, to elevate an individual’s self worth in their own mind and in the eyes of others, than to find or create a subordinate person or group of persons that they can suppress or intimidate as a lesser entity either socially, mentally, physically or in some other demeaning manner. For one to be elevated in the ranks of youthful hierarchy, it is a frequent malpractice to first rise above another person or group of persons perceived to be of lesser importance.

Left unchecked and without guidance, this natural selection might tend to elevate the status of one juvenile at the expense of another. For example, each juvenile might develop a tendency to attempt to excel in the eyes of their peers, whether through physical brawn, mental aptitude, clever deception or various other methods. This quest for perceived superiority can be achieved, and often is, by diminishing the status of another, or group of others, resulting in a perceived self elevation; hence the birth of prejudice.

To avoid or alter this very natural but undesirable phenomenon, a parent’s guidance is extremely helpful and usually necessary. It is the duty of the parent to teach the juvenile temperance, compassion, acceptable social behaviour, anger management and other behavioural traits that enhance a person’s ability to co-exist with others and excel in their developing social skills. If these traits have been properly taught to the youngster, then, by the time he or she reaches adolescence, their personality traits will allow them to become more endearing to others around them, hence facilitating better people management skills. It is of course, quite possible, that an individual youngster can reach this level of understanding without parental guidance, but that probability is less likely.

Conversely, a parent with distorted social views, such as prejudice against a specific person, group of persons, religion, race, etc. may inadvertently inject that same attitude into the young malleable minds of their children, thus tainting the views of their impressionable offspring. It would then become necessary for that youngster to rise above their distorted concept and seek a more realistic and socially acceptable outlook. This may or may not happen over the span of one’s life, but if it does, then that person is free to pursue a more full and rewarding life. Their quest for enlightenment will have begun and the probability of finding and obtaining IT will have greatly increased.

As the youngster approaches adolescence, many, but not all, personality and emotional traits have become embedded into their psyche. From this point on he or she will move forward into their adolescent and young adult lives with many habitual personality traits, some good, some bad and others, still being formed. This evolving level will be the first of several very important crossroads on their journey toward intellectual, emotional and spiritual development.

There are times in life, when circumstances beyond our control have come together to form a devastating psychological effect upon a person, especially a younger person who is more susceptible to an emotional trauma than an adult, and far easier to influence or damage. Unfortunately, in such an occurrence, the trauma can be permanent, and sometimes is, but for the most part, one can eventually rise above their damaged psyche through sheer determination and guidance from family, friends or professional counsel, i.e. a child abused sexually at an early age by a family member, stranger, or even worse, a parent, can become emotionally scarred beyond repair, while others, with a similar experience are able to opt for damage control that enables them to rise above the abuse and continue on living a normal life with only residual scars to bear. It is up to the individual to gather the strength and determination to rise above and get on with their life.

On a less extreme level, I know of a young lad whose life became altered, not from a malevolent experience, but from too much maternal love and affection. This youngster’s mother, having given birth to an only son, was informed by her doctor, that she would no longer be capable of bearing another child. Therefore, she attached an even greater importance onto the son that she did bear, smothering him with love and protecting him as if he were her greatest and only possession. Her coddling mannerisms created for her son, an immediate stigma among the other youngsters in the parochial school where he attended. This stigma began at the age of six, from the very first day of school, in the first grade class after being walked to the classroom, hand in hand by his doting mother. This stigma intensified as each school day passed, until the badge of mama’s boy became firmly attached to the youngster’s character.

This had a devastating effect upon the boy. whose primary desire was to only be accepted by his youthful peers and given the chance to fit in with the rest of his classmates. It was not to be though, as his every effort was rejected by the heartless students who exacerbated the situation. Eventually, the boy became a social pariah and was prevented by the other boys from participating in any of the school’s social activities or recreational sports. Soon, even the female youngsters would shun him for fear of ridicule from the other male students should they be seen befriending the outcast.

So it continued through the years, first grade through sixth, age six through eleven, a miserable daily existence in school, five days a week. The youngster, aware that his mother was the contributing factor for his lack of status among his classmates, slowly built up a resentment toward her, failing to understand the reason behind her loving devotion. With few friends, disdain for his mother, and a father with limited time to spend with his son after a hard day at work, the boy made every attempt to excel in sporting activities unrelated to school. Finally, one day at school during the p.e. class, an unexpected turn of events occurred that would forever change things in the young lad’s life.

A substitute gym teacher by the name of Bob Mahony, had arrived in the school yard to replace the regular p.e. teacher who had been stricken with a severe case of the flu. The new teacher, not being acquainted with any of the children, was totally unaware of those student’s self imposed hierarchy. Left to organize their own baseball game, the boys of the sixth grade class continued to exclude the fore mentioned lad when selecting players for both of the teams. Oblivious to the customary arrangements Mr. Mahoney randomly placed the young outcast on the pitcher’s mound, much to the chagrin of the other players.

Embarrassed, shy and humiliated, the boy, with better than average physical aptitude, reluctantly accepted his assigned position and proceeded to pitch the ball to the players of the opposing team. After striking out three consecutive players at bat, and then adequately performing during his own turn at bat, a change of attitude from the other students became slowly apparent. By the time the one hour p.e. class had come to an end, a most unlikely turn of events began to unfold.

When the