Priceless Gifts: Using What God’s Given You to Bless Others

Introduction: The Joy of Giving

A Gift of Love

It seems so very strange to me …

Just what folks think a gift should be.

They fret o’er things that money buys;

See not the beauty of the skies.

Those fancy gifts, I know it’s true

Can stir some joy in me or you.

But soon their value tends to fade

Like many things that man has made.

The beauty that the skies behold

Will still be there as we grow old.

And when we give a gift of love,

It comes through us from God above.

©Robert Bruce, 1999

Howie-in-the-Hills, Florida

In the circle of love, we are all givers and receivers. First we are one, then we are the other … the circle keeps turning around and around.

From Small Miracles II,

Yitta Halberstam and Judith Leventhal

There are those who give with joy, and that joy is their reward. And there are those who give with pain, and that pain is their baptism. And there are those who give and know not pain in giving, nor do they seek joy, nor give with mindfulness of virtue; they give as in yonder valley the myrtle breathes its fragrance into space. Through the hands of such as these God speaks, and from behind their eyes, He smiles upon the earth.

Kahlil Gibran

The Prophet

Think about the very best gift you have ever received. Now think about the best gift you have ever given to someone. Which brought you more joy?

For many of us, giving has been a learned response depending upon our culture and our immediate environment. Young children go through stages of selfishness (two year olds who do not want to share their toys) as well as times of pure generosity when they are willing to give away anything to anybody. How those around us, usually our parents, respond to these behaviors help us to form patterns of either sharing or hoarding what we have.

I was very blessed to be born to a mother who was a natural giver, so from the time I was very young, I had a role model of someone who loved to do things for others. However, many people have grown up in an environment which stresses accumulating and looking out for number one. For them, giving must be learned in other ways. Often we learn to give through our religion. Nearly all forms of belief in a higher power teach that our possessions, skills, and talents are all gifts so we have a responsibility to share those gifts with others. Other times we learn through a positive role model later in life—a spouse, a friend, even a child. And sometimes we learn to give through deep pain such as experiencing a loss and realizing what is really important in life. Certainly not things!

What I have found interesting as I have been exploring the art of giving over the past two years is that no matter what our life situation is, we ALWAYS have something we can give. Even those who have few or no material possessions can give of their time, their skills, their ideas, their prayers, their love. And these are often the best gifts of all!

Just as I was finishing this book, my husband of nearly thirty-four years, Charlie Glanz, to whom this book is dedicated, died of lung cancer. We were struggling with this disease the entire time I was writing most of this book. I cannot complete a book about giving without sharing some of the many precious gifts I received from others during that time:

• Rita Emmett, a fellow professional speaker and dear friend, took full responsibility for sending out emails to all my friends in Professional Speakers of Illinois, constantly updating them on Charlie’s condition and our specific needs for prayer. The prayer chain of the National Speaker’s Association constantly held him in their hearts, and we were deeply touched by hundreds of cards, notes, and emails from people we had never even met! (Gifts of Friendship, Love, and Support)

• Mike Wynne, the president of Professional Speakers of Illinois at the time, had the courage to ask this secular professional group to stand and unite in prayer for Charlie and me at each meeting they had throughout the year. (Gifts of the Spirit)

• John Blumberg, a dear friend and deeply spiritual young man who had recently left a prestigious executive position to begin his own speaking career, gave a special presentation to a large corporate group in Charlie’s honor and as a prayer for his healing. Since he is the sole support of a family of five, it was even more significant that he returned the check he had received from them as his legacy to Charlie. (Memorial Gifts)

• Louanne Service, a former client from the State of Michigan and newly retired, knew how Charlie always used to drive me to Michigan when I was doing sessions during my five year contract with the State. She also knew how difficult it was for me to drive long distances myself. I go to sleep in the car! So three times during the time Charlie was sick and could not drive me, she offered to pick me up in Lansing and drive me to the small towns where I would be presenting. One of those trips was a seven hour drive in a snowstorm! (Practical Gifts)

• While we were in Florida in February and March, Charlie had to be hospitalized at Moffit Cancer Clinic in Tampa. We did not know anyone there, so I was completely alone. When our church family in Illinois heard about that, our pastor called to tell me that a new family in the church who did not even know us called and offered to purchase two round trip airline tickets so that someone from the church could be with us. (Anonymous Gifts)

• George Winkler, a neighbor and friend from church, came over when Charlie had just gotten home from the hospital for the fifth time. He installed a handheld shower in our downstairs bathroom and brought over a plastic shower chair since Charlie was too weak to stand up to take a shower. (Labors of Love)

• Sondra Brunsting helped plan a shower for our daughter who was married during the last days of Charlie’s life, something I could never have done under the circumstances. She also gave me a card as I was caring for Charlie that I will never forget. It said, You are giving the ‘Ultimate Gift’ … you are giving yourself! What a blessing that thought was! After Charlie died, she gave me a beautiful photo album with the following quotation in the front:

You have been given the Gift of a very special love … a Gift that was never intended to be ‘forever’ … but one that will lifelong be unforgettable! Treasure the joy, the memories, the moving reality that you have shared life and death in all of its tumultuous fullness with one of God’s finest!

The first page contained the following poem by George Eliot:

What greater thing is there for two human souls

Than to feel that they are joined for life,

To strengthen each other in all labour,

To rest on each other in all sorrow,

To minister to each other in all pain,

To be one with each other in silent unspeakable memories

At the moment of the last parting?

She said to fill it with all my favorite pictures of Charlie and take it with me whenever I travel. (Practical Gifts, The Gift of Words and Romantic Gifts)

• Carol Jo DeFore, a dear friend from college days, wrote a beautiful card which said that because she was so far away and could not be there to help me physically, she wanted to do something to show me how much she cared. She enclosed an overwhelmingly generous check, saying that she wanted me to use it to do something special just for myself. I used that precious money to have 400 copies of a memory booklet for Charlie designed and printed in the two days after his death. That booklet has already touched many, many lives. (Sharing our Wealth and Resources with Others)

• Jim Feldman, a member of Professional Speakers of Illinois who had lost his wife from cancer several years before, generously offered his help even though we barely knew one another. With just one day’s notice Jim did a presentation in my place in Toronto, Canada, and then insisted that I keep the money from the client. That presentation occurred on the very day Charlie died! (Gifts of your Talents)

• Scott and Melanie Gross, other dear speaker friends, offered me a free airline ticket. We used that ticket to bring my newly married daughter, Gretchen, home from Portland, Oregon, to see her Dad. We had no idea Charlie was so close to dying, so it was a miracle (a gift from Scott, Melanie and the Lord) that she was there on the very day he died. (Life-changing Gifts)

• On the morning of Charlie’s death, we had decided to bring him home from the hospital and begin hospice, thinking that we had several weeks at least. Dr. Christine Winter, his oncologist, asked to meet at 9:00 am with my three children and me. She expressed concern about taking Charlie in an ambulance from the hospital to our home because of his weakened condition. She knew, however, that one of my promises to him was that he would die at home. I will never forget her loving words that day. She said, Barbara, I know you promised Charlie that he would die at home. However, according to everything of yours I have read, ‘home’ is not a place. ‘Home’ is where your loved ones are. So Charlie IS home! (The Gift of Words)

• Suzanne Aiken, a new friend whose husband had died four years earlier, flew in from Boston to stay the weekend with our family for Charlie’s wake and service. Her presence meant a great deal to all of us. (Gifts of Friendship, Love, and Support)

• During Charlie’s illness, Kay DuPont, whose mother had died just months before, offered to come at any time to help me care for Charlie, even though we had just become friends a short time before. After his death, she and her husband, Jeff Dissend, invited me to spend a long weekend with them in Atlanta. They made me feel loved and cared for, and I enjoyed myself for the first time in many months. Because of my experience, Kay realized how long her mother, a widow for many years, had been alone, and she wanted to help someone else even though it was too late to help her mother. (Pass It Along Gifts)

• David Roth, who is a magnificently talented and famous singer and songwriter, became a special friend when we were both speaking at the International Conference on Humor and Creativity a number of years ago. Over the years he has sent me his newest CDs and even wrote a song about my story of Johnny the Bagger® titled A Little Something More. (You can hear his work at www.maythelightmusic.com.) Charlie loved his music, and when he was going through his chemotherapy treatments, the only thing he listened to on his CD player were David’s CDs. The day after Charlie died, I talked with David, and he offered to fly from Cape Cod to sing at his funeral. On the flight he wrote a song just for Charlie which he sang at the service. His presence and song would have pleased Charlie beyond measure, and it was one of the most precious gifts I have ever received! (Gifts of your Talents).

• Rosita Perez gave me a special gift she called Flowers for Charlie. Instead of sending flowers for his service, she decided to invite me to spend a long weekend with her at her beach house on Anna Maria Island. She would not let me pay for anything and made it a weekend filled with nurturing, love, and peace. (Gifts of Friendship, Love, and Support)

• Bud Verdi, a longtime friend from Indiana, came with his wife Mary, my best friend from high school, after Charlie had died. He spent the afternoon taking me around the house, showing me where to turn off the gas, the water, the toilets, and demonstrated things like how to change my furnace and air cleaner filters. (Practical Gifts) His wife, Mary, knew that June 25 was our 34th wedding anniversary, so she came to stay for the weekend with me so I wouldn’t be alone. (Gifts of Friendship, Love, and Support).

• On my birthday, two weeks after Charlie died, Shannon Johnston, one of my oldest friends, overnighted a homemade chocolate birthday cake, complete with candles, smiley face paper plates and napkins. I have not had a homemade birthday cake for years and years! (Little Things mean a Lot) When I came back to our home in Sarasota, Florida, for the first time, she not only picked me up at the airport and stayed the first night with me, but she also gave me a huge, soft stuffed dog to keep me company and to hug when the nights were lonely. (Treasure Gifts—Keepsakes)

We received many other gifts during that time—flowers, cards, visits, plants, telephone calls, beautiful meals from our church family and neighbors, and most of all prayers. However, the best gift of all occurred on the day of my birthday—and it was from Charlie! Several days after he died, I was having a very difficult time. Within six weeks of his death I was having to face Mother’s Day, Father’s Day, my birthday, and our 34th anniversary. One night when I was desperately lonely, I called out to God for a sign that Charlie was all right. After that anguished cry of pain, I was finally able to sleep a little, and the next day I wondered if God would ever answer my request. Although I knew in my heart that Charlie was in a better place, my head wanted some proof!

The only thing my husband did outside of our family was to go to a golf outing once a year with twenty men from the Chicago Tribune. It was the first week of June every year, and they called it the Peacock. All year long they talked about those four days, planning, reminiscing, and joking about funny things that had happened. About ten years ago Charlie began writing humorous newsletters several times a year about this outing, so they called him The Voice of the Cock! These letters were for cocker eyes only, so I had seen only one or two of them. After his death when I was going through his things, I found a file folder in which he’d saved a copy of each of the newsletters he had written to his Peacock friends. I immediately had a copy made of the letters for each of our children and his four best golfing buddies.

Exactly two weeks after his death it was my birthday. Mary Schulz, a friend for over thirty years, came to take me to lunch and then to the cemetery for the first time since Charlie’s service. As I was finishing getting ready, she was thumbing through all the Peacock letters and laughing at Charlie’s witty writing, remembering how he loved this event.

She took me to a nearby Chinese restaurant where they sat us back in a far corner. Interestingly, we were about the only ones there at the time. We talked a lot about Charlie at lunch, and I shared with her my anguished cry for a sign. Just as we were finishing eating, Mary’s eyes suddenly got bigger and bigger, and she said in a whisper, Barbara, you’re not going to believe this. Look behind you … Directly behind me was a huge, at least 4 feet by 4 feet, plaque—of a PEACOCK! We both had goose bumps—AND the assurance that Charlie was just fine. That is what I call in this book an Angel Gift!

A postscript for those of you more cynical readers: Two weeks later I was speaking in Atlanta, and I met a good friend whom I had not seen for months in the Atlanta airport. We went into a little bar near my gate to have a glass of wine while we visited. On the way to the gate I had shared the Peacock gift with her. While she went to get the wine, I stood back against a wall on one side of the bar. As she returned with the glasses, she got an amazed expression on her face, and she exclaimed, Barbara, look behind you … There on the wall, directly behind where I stood, was a large black and white photo—of the PEACOCK THEATRE! Gifts occur in our lives every single day if we are just looking for them.

This book contains stories about giving from all walks of life, from the very rich and from the very poor, from countries all over the world, and from all ages, men as well as women. You will be challenged, touched, amazed, and humbled by their actions. My hope is that you will find many ideas in the book that will stimulate your own giving spirit and that will encourage you to make a difference in many other people’s lives. These will be priceless gifts! Please let me hear your stories. You will find instructions at the end of this book.

Give to the world the best that you have and the best will come back to you.

Madeline Bridges

Chapter One: Angel Gifts

Angel Gifts

morning fog

winter blanket

brown bare

flash of color

blue jay at the feeder

a reason for joy

©Andrew Grossman, 1999

Newton, CT

Give what you have.

To someone, it may be better

Than you dare think.

Henry Wadsworth Longfellow

Most people today, research has shown, believe in angels, those heavenly beings that watch over us and guide us as we often stumble through life. They appear out of nowhere, usually in the form of another person; however, they always surprise and amaze us by coming at just the right time. They are the ultimate givers!

I also believe there are earthly angels, those special folks who are thoughtful and compassionate and who seem to be drawn to caring for others. Think of those situations in which you have received completely unexpected and desperately needed gifts that have touched your very heart and soul.

Now think of special ways you can give to others that will surprise and delight them. These gifts are especially meaningful when they are given for no special reason except to show that you care. I call these angel gifts because they always seem to come at a time when you need them most, and they bring you the deepest kind of joy in knowing that someone else truly understood your need.

Two of the most special angel gifts I have ever received both came when I desperately needed encouragement and love. When our third child Erin was born, Garrett was seven and Gretchen was two and a half. Just six weeks after Erin’s birth, Charlie hurt his back and was completely immobilized, leaving the full responsibility of caring for him, the house, and the children to me.

During the first week he was in bed, I (Super Mom in action!) was boiling water very late one night to make Easter eggs for the children to color the next day since it was Easter weekend and I had not been able to get to it before. At the same time I was talking with a friend whom I’d been too busy to call back earlier in the day. Cradling the phone between my ear and my chin, I carried the pot of eggs and boiling water over to the sink. While pouring the hot water out and trying to carry on a conversation at the same time, I accidentally dumped the boiling water all over my forearm and wrist, causing second and third degree burns all up and down my arm. Because it was very late and Charlie was unable to move, I had to drive myself to the emergency room!

Can you imagine what my life was like trying to take care of a new baby, an injured husband, and two other young children—with a badly burned arm? Since my mother was unable to come to help, I had a neighbor who came in each day to bathe the baby and another friend who came over to change my bandages twice a day. In the midst of all this, the doctors decided that Charlie needed surgery, so he was taken to the hospital for a laminectomy. Now I was not only trying to care for a house and three young children, but also to be at the hospital to support Charlie, and still breastfeed a seven and a half week old baby! On top of everything else, this was a difficult time for us financially because I had chosen to postpone my career and stay home with the children, and Charlie’s was our only income.

In those days a good mother only used cotton diapers which she bleached and washed herself several times a week. It was an extremely time-consuming and unpleasant task! (Young people today probably don’t even remember cotton diapers.) Several days after Charlie’s surgery, as I returned home from the hospital very late one night, completely exhausted and nearly in tears, on the front porch step sat a huge round plastic hamper, three dozen sparkling white diapers tied in a large plastic bag, and a note which read: The Edward Burkeen family has given you the gift of diaper service for one month. Please put the soiled diapers in this hamper, and we will pick it up and bring you a new supply of fresh diapers twice a week for the next four weeks. We hope this will help make your life a bit easier. At that moment I truly felt that I did have a guardian angel. Never ever will I forget the compassion and encouragement those dear, practical friends gave me in one of the most difficult times of my life.

My other most memorable angel gift came from my younger brother Brian. He was living in Kansas City at the time, serving as Executive Director of the National Child Abuse Foundation. I was a stay-at-home Mom with three young children, we were on a limited budget, and rarely was there ever time or money for me to do something just for me.

Brian was coming to Chicago for meetings and called to say that he was going to stay an extra day or two, and he had a surprise planned for his big Sis. He said I was to call a baby-sitter to come for the whole day, I was to dress up in my best outfit, and take the train downtown and meet him for lunch. Then Charlie was to join us after work for a special dinner—all on him!

At lunch Brian announced that we were going to go shopping to find me a wonderful new dress. I will never forget my absolute delight in going to all the best downtown stores and trying on beautiful dresses and then coming out for Brian’s approval. Since Charlie doesn’t like to shop, I have rarely had the experience of having a man come along shopping and the fun of watching all the sales ladies give you extra attention because they think you’ll spend more money. I really felt just like a princess!

We finally found a bright red dress (my favorite color) that was simply made for me—and much more expensive than I ever could have afforded. Years later, even though it is nearly worn out, I cannot bear to throw that dress away because of the precious memories of Brian’s angel gift. What amazes me the most is that he was a very young, single man at the time; yet he somehow knew what could touch a young mother’s heart and spirit in an unforgettable way. Thank you, Brian, for making me feel so special at a time when I needed it the most!

Let’s look at some angel gifts that you will never forget. Some will remind you of things you can do to surprise others at a time when they need it most, and others will make you stop and think about incidents in your lives that the world may call coincidences, but that you will know are your angel gifts!

The Books

By Lynn Gibson

Columbus, Ohio

If you want to know the value of an individual, ask not for the sum of all that he owns, but look instead to the total of all that he has given.

Douglas K. Freeman

My senior year in high school, my grandfather, George Angel, passed away after an unexpected struggle with heart bypass surgery.

My grandfather was the most wonderful man and I was so blessed to have had him in my life for as long as I did. Despite the fact that he and my grandmother (also a wonderful person) lived in Ohio and my family lived in New Jersey, they never missed a single birthday or holiday with my family. My grandpa was always my entertainer, my game inventor, amusement park riding partner, advice giver … oh, I could go on and on. Never have I found someone so deserving of a name as Grandpa Angel! He was, and I believe still is, my dear angel.

When I was little, I would always set up a lawn chair in the front yard hours before Grandma and Grandpa were due to arrive. I would anxiously watch each and every car as it would drive by, waiting for the one that would bring my grandparents. I understand that many people feel very fondly about their grandparents, but I want to make clear how dear my grandpa was to me and what a void I felt with his passing.

The night before his funeral, I lay in bed at my grandparents’ house, the same house that was now devoid of his hugs, smiles, and calm ways, just crying and crying, questioning why, and going through all the natural responses to losing someone you love.

At his funeral, I don’t remember much at all except going through a box of pink tissues at the funeral home. The other memory I have was a kind and wonderful man from Bowling Green, Ohio, coming up to me and saying that he knew my grandpa and knew why I felt he was such a great person. He asked me a few other questions and said that I would be okay in time.

A few months later, I received a package in the mail. I barely recognized the name on the return address, but inside there were three books and a note. The books in the box were: Og Mandino’s The Greatest Miracle in the World, The Greatest Salesman in the World and a book by Leo Buscaglia entitled Love. The note said that he hoped I had a smile on my face and that he just wanted me to know that he was thinking of me and my grandpa. It was from the man at the funeral home with whom I had spoken.

I don’t know if that man will ever know how much that gesture meant to me, but that day, whether or not there was a smile on my face prior to receiving that package, there most certainly was as I read that note. And that smile has not yet faded! I keep those books in my nightstand by my bed. Ten years later when I see those books, I don’t particularly remember the words on the pages within. I remember the random act of kindness of the man who cared enough about a girl he didn’t even know to make a difference in her life.

I regret that I cannot find the name of that man who touched my life. But if he is still out there, I would want to say, thank you from the bottom of my heart for a care package that brings memories of my grandpa close to my heart each time I open my night stand. Thank you, too, for the reminder that there are people who make a big difference with the little things they do.

THOUGHT TO PONDER: Have you ever sent something to a person in need, even though you may have just met them? And even though there is nothing in it for you? That is an angel gift!

My Angel Gifts

By Amy Hanssen,

Batavia, Illinois

For what is it that angels do? They bring us good news. They open our eyes to moments of wonder … We can do that for each other. Angels minister to us. They sit silently with us as we mourn … We can do that for each other.

Joan Wester Anderson

When I was in college and living in an apartment, I didn’t have a lot of money or resources to purchase pictures/paintings for the empty walls. One day my good friend, who was also my high school chemistry teacher, came to visit me. She brought me seven framed affirmations (positive encouraging statements) to fill my empty walls. What a difference they made in my life!

When I was finishing college and planning my wedding, I was pretty stressed out. My Mom, who realized I was extremely stressed, flew up to Michigan for an engagement party and brought me a stuffed puppy dog (my favorite—a golden retriever). Ever since that day, just seeing my stuffed puppy brings me peace and happiness and good memories. He has traveled with me to four apartments and a house!

THOUGHT TO PONDER: What comfort gift may you give to someone in special need of love and affirmation? We can never realize how those angel gifts may impact another’s life.

The Miracle of Giving

By Betty Unterberger

Manhattan, Kansas

To become the perpetrator of random acts of kindness, then, is to become in some sense an angel.

Daphne Rose Kingma

The early 80’s were lean times for us. We made ends meet, but it was a balancing act. My husband, Ken, and I shared our one vehicle, and we had just driven home from work and had pulled up to our rural mailbox. Ken was reaching for the lid when we saw our neighbor’s old station wagon coming up the road in a cloud of dust. Times might have been lean for us, but they were a real struggle for Bill and Bonnie with a family of seven children. They were poor, hardworking, and proud. We admired them because they were a happy family and one where there was always enough love to more than offset the material wants.

Something’s wrong, my husband, Ken, was quick to note, and he swiftly got out of our car and stood next to the road. Indeed, something WAS wrong! Their grown daughter, Candy, was driving, and as she stopped the car, she was obviously sobbing. Ken, in his usual caring, controlled, manner, got her calmed down long enough to find out that her dad had suffered a massive heart attack and had died earlier in the day. Bill had been a wonderful neighbor and friend, and we were stunned. Candy explained that her family had begun to gather at her parent’s house, and her mother was sending her into town to bring back food for their evening meal. Ken said, Candy, now, don’t you worry about supper. Betty and I will take care of feeding your family this evening. You go home and take care of your mother. We’ll be back within the hour with everything you need. With that, Candy turned the car around and headed for home.

Ken hopped back in the car, and as we headed back to town, he explained the situation and told me his plan. He was going to provide fried chicken, potato salad, baked beans, rolls and dessert for about 20 people. He had promised to deliver it all within an hour. It was a noble thought, and while I was proud of him for taking control of the situation, I knew that even if we had plenty of time to prepare a meal, our meager budget would not handle my writing any good checks to pay for this deed. On the way to town, we prayed together for Bill and his family. I secretly prayed that God would forgive me for writing hot checks in this, the face of this emergency.

Ken dropped me off at the supermarket where I was to buy a fruit basket, paper plates, cups, napkins and Kleenex. He then sped over to the restaurant, where the manager, after hearing the story, quickly went into action and packaged up a huge pan of fried chicken and big containers of potato salad, baked beans, and hot rolls from their evening buffet steam tables—and at a very nominal price. I was waiting in the grocery store parking lot when Ken returned, and within minutes, we were back at Bill’s house delivering on Ken’s promise to a very surprised and grateful family.

We went back home and sat down at the kitchen table to add up the charges: $55.67. Tomorrow, we would somehow work out the details for covering our checks. Tonight, we knew we had done the right thing.

After supper, Ken returned to the mailbox to finally get our mail and brought it back to the kitchen. I wonder what the IRS wants? he said, holding an official-looking envelope. My heart sank as I watched while he opened the envelope. He just kept looking at the document and slowly handed it over to me. There, in my hand, was a check for $55.75 made out to us for overpayment of income taxes.

THOUGHT TO PONDER: In ending her story, Betty said, Some might say this is merely coincidence, but we believers know better. Another angel gift!

Divine Encounter on San Andres

By Ron Metzger,

Colombia

An angel doesn’t have to have wings and a halo. An angel can take on a variety of forms: it can be a smiling child, a stranger who gives directions, or a gas attendant.

Heather Down, Angel-grams

When our son, Eric, was approaching graduation from Lomalinda High School and anticipating leaving Colombia, perhaps for the last time, to attend LeTourneau University, Lois and I began thinking about a special graduation gift for him. During all our years in Colombia, our