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    The Superfarter
    The Superfarter
    The Superfarter
    Ebook42 pages39 minutes

    The Superfarter

    By Cal Osborne

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Danny lands himself in trouble after laughing hysterically in the school library at the worst fart ever. With the whole school thinking Danny is a Superfarter he is determined to clear his name.

    When Danny's dog produces a fart cloud after eating a puffball mushroom, Danny comes up a crazy plan to prove his innocence and discover the true identity of 'the Superfarter.'

    Danny and his friends set out on a hilarious mission to fart test the whole class and find the true identity of 'the Superfarter'.

    This funny, plain English novel is fun and easy to read. It uses simple words, and is a perfect first novel for young children or adults learning to read english.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCal Osborne
    Release dateAug 5, 2013
    ISBN9781301768950
    The Superfarter
    Author

    Cal Osborne

    Cal Osborne works as a plain English writer who lives in Melbourne, Australia. He specializes in writing in a very plain form of English which is perfect for young readers or readers who have English as a second language.He is married and has 2 children in primary school. He writes books that he thinks his kids and their friends would enjoy.

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      Book preview

      The Superfarter - Cal Osborne

      The Superfarter

      Written and published by Calvin Osborne at Smashwords

      Copyright 2013 Calvin Osborne.

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Chapter 1 - The super fart

      If there’s one thing I’ve learned it’s that you don’t laugh at farts. I mean - I know farts are funny. Sometimes it’s hard not to laugh at farts. Like when your friend does a really long, loud fart. They are the funniest farts. Even my Dad laugh’s at some farts. Sometimes when we are watching TV our dog Milo farts. His farts are bad. Dad always laughs at that. He waves his hand and says WOW. I think something died in Milo’s bum. Sometimes Dad tells fart jokes and laughs at them too. Like did you hear about the blind skunk? He fell in love with a fart. Or Why is a fart like a sewing needle? It can go through your pants without making a hole. Or Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the other chicken farted.

      Even the names people call farts are funny. Like butt-burner, thunder from down-under, smell-o-gram, fryer-butt, smelly the un-friendly ghost or bum-burp. But, no matter how funny the fart is. No matter how funny the name of the fart is. Just don’t laugh at it. Laughing at a fart got me in more trouble than I’ve ever been in.

      It started in ‘Read Week’ at school. Our teacher Ms. White took our class to the library. She’d drawn huge pictures of pirates and stuck them all around the room. She’d made us all little eye patches and pirate hats out of paper. She read us pirate books. She sang a pirate song with us. She sang the verses, and then we’d sing the bit that goes a pirate’s life for me.

      Ms. White is the best teacher ever. She’s funny and nice, and always happy. She draws pictures with us, sings songs, and plays games. She still makes us do maths, but she makes it fun. She lets us play math world on the computer. Sometimes we play maths races or word wars. She wears long pretty dresses, and she smells like pink lollies.

      There’s just one problem. When she speaks to me I sort of stutter. I don’t know why I stutter, I just do. I don’t stutter when I talk to anyone else, just her. It’s something about her hair and that yummy lolly smell. It makes me feel really shy, my face goes red, and I get hungry. The other kids think I love her, but I don’t. Some of them tease me and sing Danny loves the teacher, Danny loves the teacher.

      So, our class was singing ‘a pirate’s life for me’ in the library. All I could sing was a p-p-p-p-p-p-p

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