Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me
    The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me
    The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me
    Ebook130 pages2 hours

    The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me

    By Michael McIlhargey

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    To protect and serve—words every cop swears to, but though Police Officer Michael “Mac” McIlhargey could keep that vow on the street, at home his good guy facade was cracking.

    As his iron grip on control slipped, he grabbed with an even tighter fist and his once happy family became marred by violence, abuse and trauma—all fueled by a sea of alcohol.

    Officer Mac lost his wife, his kids and almost his career before battling back, regaining respect and responsibility. For all police officers and their families, The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me is a tale of lessons learned and love regained.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMichael McIlhargey
    Release dateAug 15, 2013
    The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me
    Author

    Michael McIlhargey

    Detective Michael McIlhargey received his Bachelor of Science Degree in Sociology from Emporia State University in Emporia, Kansas. His background in the criminal justice field began in 1990 as a state probation officer with the Department of Corrections. In 1993, Michael graduated from the Basic Recruit Academy for Law Enforcement Officers in Fort Myers, Florida. He worked for the Cape Coral Police Department for 9 years before moving to Gainesville, Florida, where he was a police officer for 2 years. After resigning from the Gainesville Police Department, Michael worked for the Lee County Port Authority before returning to the Cape Coral Police Department in 2007. He has spent the majority of his 20-year law enforcement career working as a road patrolman, but did spend five years in the Youth Crime Intervention Unit (YCIU) concentrating on gathering gang intelligence and proactive enforcement. Michael is currently a detective with the Cape Coral Police Department located in Cape Coral, Florida. He is the Team Leader of the Crisis Negotiation Team and was the founder of the Cape Coral "Midnight Basketball Program" for juveniles ages 12 - 17, which he ran for 5 years. Michael recently published his tell-all book entitled The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me (available on Amazon.com) and is available to conduct seminars for police officers and their families around the country. He and his wife, Shannon, wish to reach out to other officers of the law and their loved ones to tell their story as a couple and to advise cops across the nation, "don’t wear the badge home."

    Related to The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me

    Related ebooks

    Personal Growth For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Erin Lee Carr

      Jul 8, 2019

      Erin Lee Carr
      2 min read

    • Article

      My Journey to Healing

      Mar 26, 2022

      My Journey to Healing
      7 min read

    • Article

      Words to Live By

      Jun 25, 2018

      Words to Live By
      6 min read

    • Article

      Behind LOCKED DOORS

      Sep 1, 2022

      Behind LOCKED DOORS
      4 min read

    • Article

      The Anatomy of Charisma

      Feb 16, 2017

      For weeks I had been researching what science has to say about the power of charisma. Why do some people so clearly have it and others don’t? Why do we fall so easily under its influence? Charismatics can make us feel charmed and great about ourselve

      11 min read

    • Article

      My Teacher, the Predator

      Oct 25, 2017

      A few months ago, I sat in a small gray conference room and listened as four middle-aged men read aloud from my high school diaries. They parsed each line, asking me to explain the technicalities of my teenage abbreviations and cadence, searching for

      4 min read

    • Article

      Behind LOCKED DOORS

      Oct 11, 2022

      Midway through a session with a small group of prisoners, Kyle, who’d been convicted of serious sexual offences, shoved his chair back so it clattered against the wall. He glared at me, yelled that he’d had enough and lurched forward. I shrank back b

      5 min read

    • Article

      Black, A Woman, And A Cop: A Trifecta Of American Complexity

      Oct 27, 2020

      Lt. Melissa Morgan recognizes police brutality is a real issue; asks consideration for the split-second, life-or-death decisions police must make.

      5 min read

    • Article

      The Words

      Aug 4, 2023

      The Words
      1 min read

    • Article

      To Cause a Deep Stirring: The Millions Interviews Debra Jo Immergut

      Jun 14, 2018

      Like most writers who meet young, Debra Jo Immergut and I have been talking about writing our whole lives. From Iowa City’s workshops and bars to NYC, where we struggled to raise kids and pay rent, to opposite sides of Massachusetts, where we live no

      9 min read

    • Article

      Andrew Garfield

      Sep 16, 2021

      Andrew Garfield
      14 min read

    • Article

      The President Who Loved

      Jan 25, 2017

      The President Who Loved
      2 min read

    • Article

      ‘The All-consuming Orgasm’: How Erotic Thriller Obsession Takes Sex To The Next Level

      Mar 31, 2023

      From everyone who has made the Netflix series Obsession – the writer, Morgan Lloyd Malcolm, the leads, Richard Armitage and Charlie “Happy Valley” Murphy – I want to know the following: when did they read the book on which it is based, Damage, by Jos

      5 min read

    • Article

      You Do What!?

      Apr 12, 2021

      You Do What!?
      12 min read

    • Article

      You Do What!?

      Apr 12, 2021

      You Do What!?
      12 min read

    • Article

      Crying Shame

      Oct 2, 2022

      Crying Shame
      3 min read

    • Article

      Have You Been Duped?

      Mar 14, 2019

      At one time or another we have all wondered if the person we are speaking with is on the level. Some of us are good at spotting fakes and cons, while others get scammed repeatedly -- financially, emotionally, in life and love. Being scammed or the v

      4 min read

    • Article

      LIV & LEARN

      Jun 22, 2022

      LIV & LEARN
      2 min read

    • Article

      LIV & LEARN

      Jun 22, 2022

      LIV & LEARN
      2 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me - Michael McIlhargey

      The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me

      Detective Michael McIlhargey

      Smashwords Edition copyright 2013 Michael McIlhargey. All rights reserved.

      No part of this book may be used or reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system without written permission except in the case of brief quotations used in critical articles and reviews. Request for permissions should be addressed to the publisher:

      Good Oak Press, LLC

      P.O. Box 12195

      Tucson, Arizona 85732

      http://www.goodoakpress.com

      Editor: Kitt Walsh

      Cover Photo: Stacey Scott Design

      Cover Design: Good Oak Press, LLC

      Smashwords Formatting: Good Oak Press, LLC

      I dedicate this book to my Mother for giving me life and filling my heart with love every day thereafter

      and to my Father, Officer Patrick Joseph McIlhargey, for being a shining example of an officer and a gentleman, for all the life lessons he taught and for making me the man I am today. If I can be half the father, husband and cop he was, I will consider my life well lived.

      Foreword

      At first, when Michael McIlhargey told me that he was going to write a book about his personal life experiences and his struggles and rewards in the law enforcement profession, I was very skeptical.

      But, after sitting down with him, I found him to be a man who was very passionate about what he was trying to accomplish. With his book, he was reaching out to those who might recognize themselves and find comfort from reading about the experiences of someone who had shared his same struggles. He also wanted to pass along his experiences so others might be able to avoid making some of those same mistakes in their own careers.

      In his book, Michael McIlhargey explains he has suffered several types of conflict, in all areas of his life--the professional, personal and the intrapersonal.

      I, too, am the son of a law enforcement officer. I understand the pressure one has to face every day, not only from the profession itself, but the pressures inherent in trying to uphold our family name with respect as we were taught by the generation preceding us.

      I first met Michael as a young man coming into a large metropolitan law enforcement agency where I was his supervisor and remained so for many years of his career. I saw a man with all of the best intentions starting out, eager and wanting to improve every day.

      He had a larger-than-life personality and brought a lot of humor to work each day.

      But, as time passed, the pressure of his professional and personal life took a toll on him and he started to make choices that reshaped his career with the agency at which we both served.

      There is a saying in the law enforcement profession that there are certain things guaranteed to destroy a person's career if bad choices are made surrounding them: alcohol, drugs, sexual relationships and bad friends. Michael did not make bad choices in all of these categories, but he made enough bad choices in some of them to lead to his first retirement from our agency. When he moved on to another city law enforcement agency, some of the same struggles still haunted him.

      Eventually, after fighting some legal and personal battles, Michael made his way back to our agency and I saw a different man standing in front of me. I could tell that Michael was deflated but not defeated, and was willing to try to make the best of his professional life, if given the chance.

      Perhaps the most daunting challenge that faced Michael while writing this book was to stay willing and honest and to openly disclose all of his mistakes so that his experiences could help others learn.

      To the civilian reader, those of you who haven't experienced the same stresses as are part and parcel of our profession like Michael has, may find some of the things in this book shocking; but to those who have served in the law enforcement field, you may find many similarities to your own personal and professional life.

      The name of this book talks about the destruction that truly may wait for those of us who have chosen law enforcement as your profession and have or will face all of its peaks and valleys, all of its risks and rewards.

      I hope that within the pages of his book, you will find lessons that display a better understanding of the true meaning of emotional maturity. Michael, through a journey that was sometimes harrowing and required him to reach deep into himself, has finally learned the lessons needed for emotional maturity and has become a better man and a better cop for having done so.

      I hope you might be able to learn from his lessons so you won't have to hoe the same tough road to become a better law enforcement officer --and a better person--yourself.

      Todd G. Everly, M.P.A.

      Assistant Chief of Police (Retired), Cape Coral Police Department

      Introduction

      Have you ever had a desire to publicize your worst flaws, your deepest character defects? Are you willing to completely expose yourself to your Significant Other, risking judgment on an awful event or period in your life? How about revealing these things to a total stranger? Are you willing to do that? Neither am I.

      I remember meeting Michael McIlhargey (Mac) about 20 years ago at a party at the home of a mutual friend. Before we were introduced I heard Mac talking and decided that he was too loud for my liking and overly confident. I paid little attention to what he was drinking. A meaningless handshake made us acquaintances.

      For eight years our paths crossed at work and work-related charity events, but I never had much desire to hang out with Mac. I do recall one thing, though: I was jealous of the close relationship he had with his son.

      After Mac left the Cape Coral Police Department (CCPD) for reasons unknown to me, I heard he had problems at the Gainesville Police Department but never knew, nor had much interest in learning, exactly what they were. A few years later Mac returned to CCPD. My initial thought was, No big deal. While I didn't dislike him, based on what I knew, he really didn't matter to me.

      I did, however, learn quickly that the Mac who returned wasn't the one who left. I now saw a mature, humble man whom, to my surprise, was more positive and focused. The mediocrity that I had seen in him in the past had been replaced with brilliance. Workouts and a devotion to family took the place of showmanship. The plastic red Solo cup, previously attached to his right hand, was nowhere to be found. The new Mac was now not only my friend, but one of my best friends.

      In this book, Mac has the courage to expose his most significant flaws to those who don't know him. His concern is not about being judged, but rather about saving others from making the mistakes he himself made. The lifestyle changes Mac made did something to me that rarely happens: It convinced me that with an iron will, people can change for the better. How those changes were accomplished is spelled out in The Badge Nearly Destroyed Me and in his presentation seminars.

      If you are in the law enforcement field and suspect that you or someone you know has similar issues, this book is for you. If you're new to this profession, let this book steer you away from the temptations that have caused career devastation. Through this publication Mac blindly throws himself on the spear for the sake of others.

      Heed the warnings, make the changes, and don't let his sacrifices be in vain.

      Captain Kurt Graf

      Cape Coral Police Department

      "You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can and will be used against you in a court of law. You have a right to an attorney to be present now and during any future questioning. If you cannot afford an attorney, one will be appointed for you free of charge if you wish...

      As a police officer, I'd read these rights to suspects hundreds of times.

      Now, they were being read to me.

      I went cold inside and felt bile rise up in my throat. I was ashamed and scared. Things had seemed surreal before, but as I listened to the detective's voice reading me my Miranda rights, I realized things had suddenly gotten real serious, real fast.

      How the hell had I ended up like this?

      Where had it all gone wrong?

      Chapter One

      I am a cop and the son of a cop.

      You can call me Mac.

      The Mac is short for McIlhargey, an Irish name meaning one who is kindly and hospitable. As you'll see from my story, I didn't always live up to that name.

      But, though I think of myself as an American first, I'm proud of my Irish heritage--or most of it.

      It's been said that God made alcohol so the Irish wouldn't rule the world. That was true in my case--alcohol was one of the things that caused my own world to come crashing down around me.

      The other was control.

      My father taught me a thing or two about control.

      My dad, Patrick Joseph McIlhargey, was a 30-year veteran of the Bay City Michigan Police Department, but only at night. During the day, he drove a truck. Dad had some built-in rules, one of which is that men provided for their families. He worked hard to do so.

      Before my sister and I came along, Dad had two kids--my half brother and sister--with his first wife, who died of breast cancer. He mortgaged their house to pay her medical bills. A few years later, Dad married my mom, Romaine, and had my sister and me.

      With two jobs and four kids, my father had very little time to show us kids affection--even if he'd had the inclination. Dad did manage to show up at every game (in his uniform) but he stood on the sidelines and watched quietly. He wasn't that involved--in the games or the raising of the kids. In those

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1