Gale Swept

Also by Stephanie Laws:

THE KNIGHTINGALE SERIES

Knightingale

Gale Swept

Knightime (Coming Soon)

Source Key (Coming Soon)

STAND ALONE NOVELS

Regrets of the Heart (Coming Soon)

Gale Swept

By Stephanie Laws

Copyright © 2013 by Stephanie Laws

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, storied in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of the copyright owner.

Smashwords Edition

Table of Contents

Also by Stephanie Laws

Copyright

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Chapter 5

Chapter 6

Chapter 7

Chapter 8

Chapter 9

Chapter 10

Chapter 11

Chapter 12

Chapter 13

Chapter 14

Chapter 15

Chapter 16

Chapter 17

Chapter 18

Chapter 19

Chapter 20

Chapter 21

Chapter 22

Chapter 23

Chapter 24

Chapter 25

Chapter 26

Chapter 27

Coming Soon

About the Author

Chapter 1

Why don’t you let me call Doc? David asked for the hundredth time.

No, I just need to get up and move around. I said as I forced my body to roll over and slowly climb out of the bed.

For the past few weeks, I awoke each morning with muscle cramps that seemed to spread from head to toe. I was cold all of the time, and the only way I could keep myself from shivering and my body from locking up was to keep moving. I spent most of the day walking on the trails in the forest that ran like spider webs throughout David’s property. When that wasn’t enough, I resorted to running. My muscles would scream in protest, but after a while, they would stop aching. I could breathe and relax for a few pain-free moments, but it never lasted.

I pulled on a pair of sweats and three layers of shirts. Then grabbed my socks and tennis shoes and attempted to stretch. It literally felt like someone had taken a baseball bat and had beaten me with it. It even hurt to breathe.

I walked slowly down the stairs holding onto the railing in case one of my legs decided it wasn’t going to move anymore. It actually happened the one day when I was running. My leg muscles seized up causing me to fall and roll God only knows how many times. David, ever the watchful one, appeared and carried me back to the house ignoring my protests. He wanted to call Doc then, but I made him swear he wouldn’t. Doc wouldn’t know what was wrong. Our bodies no longer functioned normally; the last thing I wanted to go through was the long, drawn-out process of tests, pain pills, and therapy trying to find something that would work.

I couldn’t risk being in some drug-induced state of confusion. I had to keep my mind alert. All it would take was one hint of my incapacitation, and my enemies would attack. They had already killed everyone that was vulnerable in my life. My parents, my husband, and my children were all killed simply because they were not under the watch of a Knight Protector.

They had nothing to do with any of this mess that surrounds me, yet they were killed simply because those fiends knew I loved them. They erased five lives simply to get to me and weaken me. What they didn’t understand was that the pain they were inflicting was only adding fuel to the strange fire that burned inside of me. Even if I wanted to give up, I couldn’t. It grew strong regardless of my emotional or physical state.

Samantha, can I at least go running with you? David asked just as I reached the door to make another attempt at running.

I've been trying to keep the severity of the pain hidden from him so he wouldn't worry so much. I wanted to say no, but I knew I couldn’t argue with him without showing how weak I grew simply by standing there. I couldn’t look at him as it was; so I gave up and simply nodded.

He told me to wait while he changed. I stepped outside and attempted to stretch again; knowing all too well that everything I have attempted to hide was going to be revealed. I was in no mood to argue about this anymore.

David stepped out the door with only a pair of shorts and some running shoes.

Aren’t you cold? I asked.

It’s almost ninety degrees out here. he said as he looked at me with that concerned look I was beginning to despise. Sam, I’ll run with you. I’ll do anything you want, but if this doesn’t change soon, I’m calling Doc.

We’ve talked about this. I said as I started walking, slowly. It was all I could do, especially when he was forcing me to talk.

What good is it going to do if you can’t move if you were attacked?

David, I love you, but if you’re going to do this with me then you’re going to have to shut up. I said, and forced myself to start walking faster.

Every muscle in my body was on fire. I tried to focus on my breathing to keep it steady.

What if… he started to say and I forced myself to start jogging.

Of course, he was right there beside me with no effort whatsoever. That fueled my anger even more causing me to push my body harder. As the pain began to slowly ease and each breath came easier, and I realized I was running faster than I had ever ran before. Instead of my body straining from the effort, it seemed to come to life in strange way. But I wasn't going to question it. I hadn't felt this good in a very long time.

There was one trail connecting all of the other trails; it took you all the way around the property. I had walked it a few times. It took most of the day to go from beginning to end. I turned on that trail and pushed myself even more. The harder I pushed, the more I could feel my muscles working and the pain disappearing. David kept right with me, and when I glanced over, he had this smirk on his face that made me smile.

I felt alive. The more I ran, the more I felt like I was flying. It wasn’t long and Blacky, our precious Doberman Pinscher, joined us. I couldn’t believe he was running himself instead of lazily loping along with me like he normally does. I didn’t know I could run at this pace. As much as I didn’t want to, I had to stop. I was sweating profusely.

Sam, no one should be wearing that many clothes in this heat. David protested.

I know. I said as I bundled two layers of shirts together and tied them around my waist. Are you ready?

Are you even the slightest bit tired? he asked.

Not really, are you?

I’m fine, but I run this almost every day.

When?

I run when you’re sleeping.

How can you see where you’re going at night?

I’ve run this trail so many times I practically have it memorized. Do you know how to swim?

Kind of, I’m not great at it. Why?

The river is only a short way up this path. he said as he pointed to a trail I had never taken.

Is it part of your property?

We own a few feet into the river, but the rest is state property. The river has widened since the property lines were first established.

Do you get many people wandering around here?

No, the property on the other side is a designated wildlife reserve. No one is allowed to hike or even step foot on it. Occasionally, you’ll see someone in a canoe. But the river is pretty shallow in spots, and they have to walk the canoe in several places; so, there aren’t many who come this far.

That’s good. I’d hate to come across some stranger on one of the trails.

I wouldn’t let you go if I didn’t think it was safe. he said as he leaned down and kissed me. God I’ve missed you. If I knew this is what it would take, I would have pissed you off sooner.

I’m sorry for being so rude. It was just too hard to talk.

I know. It’s killing me to see you like this and not know what to do. If this doesn’t help, you need to see Doc. You don’t have to take medication if you don’t want to, but there may be something that’s not working properly and maybe he can help. We may not be normal, but we're still human; we can still get sick.

I’ve never seen you or the guys sick.

We don’t get sick that often, but we're not impervious. We are subject to the same frailties as other humans. Our bodies may not deteriorate due to age, but they can be harmed just the same.

That may be true for you, but it’s not the same for me. My body doesn’t work the same as it used to.

That’s what worries me. Nick and Sean are worried too.

David, that’s personal. Why would you talk them about something like that? I demanded as I felt the humiliation pour out of me.

This is not something you should be embarrassed about. This is new to all of us. We have to try to understand what’s going on. You have no idea how much we all care about you. There's no one for us to talk to except each other.

I don’t want my personal problems to become everyone else’s. Maybe this life was never intended for a woman. I’m getting used to being in situations like this, but how am I going to look at the guys knowing you were discussing my reproductive organs with them? That’s private.

I’m sorry you feel that way. Forgive me for being so presumptuous as to think something like that would be important to me as well.

You don’t understand. You never get embarrassed by things like this. But, damn it, I have to have some sort of privacy. I’m sick of feeling like a specimen that everyone gets to analyze. You keep saying I’m human, so why can't you respect me as one?

Sam, I do respect you. You’re going overboard with this.

You just don’t get it, do you? But of course you don’t. I’m not one of you. I’m not one of the guys. Forget it, it doesn’t matter. Do what you want. I said and started walking away.

It took me a little while to realize he was gone. Blacky walked alongside of me and started nosing my hand, but all I could do was pat his head and start running again. I was so tired of walking the fine lines. I was tired of not feeling human anymore and being told I should, yet when my human feelings did come out, they were always wrong.

As much as I wanted to go to David and smooth things out, I still felt like I was the one wronged. He should have talked to me about this first. I know I didn’t have any answers, but it wasn’t right for him to talk about something so personal with someone else, let alone the only other people I have to talk to. Granted, they probably talked about personal things all the time; they're men, it's natural. I’m not a man. I’m not even a woman anymore. I started running even harder. My muscles may not have been hurting at the time, but it seemed no matter what I did I was never going to be free of pain.

I’m not sure when Blacky gave up running, but I kept going. I tried to clear my head of all thoughts and find that sense of freedom I felt before, but there was a new weight bearing down on me now that wouldn’t go away. I reached the end of the trail far earlier than I expected. The house was looming in front of me, and I had no idea what to do.

I wasn’t ready to face David. I didn’t want to be angry with him. I loved him more than life itself. I hated knowing he was upset, but I didn’t know what to do. I had given up everything I possibly could. I had nothing left but myself, even David had my heart. Nothing would ever change that. But did this life also mean that I had to lose myself entirely and become nothing more than a body open for discussion? I knew my life affected David. I understood he was concerned. He had every right to be, but where was the line that allowed me to maintain that small bit of privacy and dignity I needed?

I walked towards the house. There wasn’t anything left for me to do. I didn’t have a car to go anywhere, and I couldn’t transfer myself away. I had accepted this life because I understood it was necessary to protect everyone else, but I had never felt like a prisoner as much as I did right then.

I walked in and went straight up the stairs to the bedroom. I didn’t see David anywhere. I walked into the bathroom, undressed, and climbed in the shower. For the first time since all the pain began, I felt the heat seeping into my body. But I didn’t care. What was the use of feeling anything anymore?

When I finished, I stood in front of the mirror looking at myself. I didn’t even look like the same person anymore. My body no longer had that fleshy look I had always had. Now I just looked sinewy and bony. I still had problems looking myself in the eyes. They weren’t my boring, gray eyes anymore. Now they were some strange crystal blue that looked unnatural on me. They were the Knight eyes. They looked beautiful on them because of their stark, shiny, black hair and looks that came from a blood line that had always known the bounty of wealth and good health. But for me, it was like having a three-carat, pristine diamond set in a band made of cheap plastic.

I wrapped the towel around my body and walked into the bedroom to grab a pair of my old, faithful jeans and a T-shirt, but when I put the jeans on, I grew even more disgusted. I knew they were getting loose on me, but I didn’t think anything of it. Now they were getting so loose I was going to have to wear a belt to hold them up, and I didn’t even own one. I had been wearing sweat pants the past few weeks because they were the easiest to put on. I had no idea I had lost even more weight. I didn’t think it was possible.

I looked to see if I had more sweats to wear, but they were all dirty. I looked for something to tie around my waist to hold my pants up. The only thing I could find was one of David’s belts, and it was too big. I gave up and threw on a pair of David’s shorts that had a draw string.

I felt the tears of frustration coming on, and the last thing I wanted was to start falling apart. I grabbed all the dirty clothes in the room and carried them down to the basement to the washer and dryer. It was the only time I came went to the basement. David had it set up as a personal gym. He had every piece of workout equipment imaginable, most of which I had no clue how to use. For the most part, it was the man cave for all the guys. I tried to stay clear of it. I had enough testosterone around me as it was.

I sorted the laundry into piles, started the first load, and then walked back upstairs. The second I shut the door, I heard my phone ring. I ran to the living room and grabbed it off the side table where it was charging.

Hello.

Hi Sam, guess what?

Eric, did she have the baby?

Yep, it’s a boy, 7 pounds 8 ounces.

Oh Eric, congratulations; what did you name him?

We haven’t named him yet. We had a name picked out, but it doesn’t fit. We wanted to ask your permission to use another name.

What are you talking about? Why do you need my permission?

We want to name him Matthew.

I almost dropped the phone. Matthew was my son’s name. The tears started to flow the second I realized what he was asking.

Samantha, if it weren’t for you and for everything that you have gone through, this little boy wouldn’t have been born. We want to honor your son by giving his name to our son.

Eric, I don’t know what to say; of course you can. Tell April I love her and give the baby a kiss for me. Eric, I love you too. I know you will be a wonderful father. I can’t tell you how happy I am for you and April.

We love you too, Sammi. Thank you. he said and then we said goodbye before I lost all control.

The moment the call ended, the flood gates opened up. How could something that caused so much pain in one situation be so joyful in another? As much as I loved David, I was thankful he wasn’t with me at that moment.

I walked back outside. Life could be so giving and, at the same time, so cruel. I was happy for Eric and April. If anyone in this world could give a child a good life, it was the two of them. The child would know endless love and devotion, and most of all it would be given the protection I could never give my children.

But David deserved that part of life as well, and I couldn’t give it to him. No matter how much I tried to keep the images out of my head, I couldn’t stop thinking of what it would be like to see him as a father. He was so patient and understanding when most would have given up. He would be a better father than I could ever dream of being a mother.

It was so hard to find hope anymore. No matter how much David loved me, I knew there would be a time when that love would no longer be enough for him. Love is something that has to constantly evolve and strengthen. It can’t rely on the same old sustenance without growing stale. Then if things went according to plan, he would be stuck with a wife he no longer loved for the rest of his life.

As I walked, I thought about how he would hear the news. I imagined Nick and Sean already knew, and if they knew, surely they had told David. I was surprised they hadn’t already popped into my head with our strange mind connection, but at the same time, they probably understood that I would be emotional. They didn’t deal with emotions all too well, especially mine with the occasional explosions I had as a result of holding in too much for too long.

The more I walked, the more I could feel the tension seeping back into my muscles. I knew I probably should have started running again, but what was the use. I couldn’t run twenty-four hours a day. I simply tried to keep moving and ended up walking long after the sun went down. I could feel my body growing tired, but for the most part the pain stayed away.

I didn’t hear from David, and although I knew I could transfer to him if I wanted to, I didn’t. I didn’t know what to say. I didn’t even know how I was supposed to act around him at this point. How do you show anger, frustration, hurt, and joy all at the same time without inflicting more pain? This was supposed to be a joyous time that had nothing to do with me, and I couldn’t even be there to celebrate because I was such a miserable person.

I managed to find my way back to the house in the dark and was a little surprised to see that none of the lights were on. I didn’t expect David to stay away this long, but how could I blame him?

I sat down on the front steps and looked up into the sky. It was completely covered with clouds. You could just see the outline of the moon shining through. The longer I sat there, the harder it was for me to walk into the house. As much as it had become my home, it was only because of David. It was his home, and he shared it with me. Without him in the house, I felt like an intruder. It was even worse knowing that he wasn’t there because he was avoiding me.

I walked over to the barn and made sure Blacky was taken care of for the night and closed the door. Just as I turned to walk away from the barn, it started to sprinkle. It was light and misty, and had I actually felt the true heat of the day, it would have felt good. But all it did was make me feel colder.

I walked towards the porch. When I glanced at the steps I saw someone standing there. I immediately stopped.

Who are you, and what do you want? I demanded.

My name is Aidan. I’m looking for Samantha. he said in a tone that showed he didn’t care for mine.

I’m Samantha, what do you want?

He walked down the steps and stood on the very last one. I had seen enough Knight men to recognize one from a mile away. But this man was different. There was something about him that put my guard up. It wasn’t necessarily a warning sign. This was a more primal instinct. Everything about him was more defined. Even as he moved, he seemed more agile and light on his feet. Regardless of a warning sign or not, I knew he was dangerous. He looked me dead in the eyes and said, I’ve been sent here to train you.

Train me for what?

How to use the powers you were given. Now you can make this easy or I can make this difficult; either way, you’re going to be trained so I can move on to a real assignment.

Why are you assigned to me? I already have a protector.

I’m not here to protect you. I’m here to teach you how to protect yourself. I have no idea why, but it’s my job. I’m going to do it whether you like it or not.

What makes you think you can teach me anything?

In the time it took to blink my eyes, he had me pinned to the ground on my stomach with my arms bent behind me and his knee shoved in the small of my back. I was so shocked, I couldn’t even respond.

Now tell me something, who is missing right now?

What are you talking about? I spat out as I struggled to break free, but all I was doing was wrenching my arms into a more painful angle.

Hmm, maybe they were wrong. I was warned to only approach you if you were alone. They said that David would fight to the death to keep you from me. So where is he? Did you piss him off with your lovely manners?

Get off of me, now!

If I were to let you go, what would you do?

If you don’t get off me I swear I’m going to fry you like yesterday’s chicken.

He started laughing. Now let me explain this to you, since you appear too dense to figure this out on your own. I’m the only one that can train you. David can’t train you to defend yourself because he can't physically attack you. No one else has the ability to train you because successful training will require you to face a real attack. Anyone that attacks you instantly finds themselves face to face with your dear David. I've been given the ability to bypass David’s trigger. You see, I could wring the life right out of you, and David would never know. I would be long gone before he even found you.

Then do it and put us all out of our misery.

Now, now, you mustn’t play the pity game with me, because frankly, I have no pity for you. I’m here to do a job, and you can either make this easier by cooperating, or I can take you to the very brink of death until you start fighting back. There were no limits placed on me, and like I said, I will do my job.

What are you going to do if David shows up?

He has no power to stop me. He can't interfere. All he can do is delay the inevitable. And don’t worry, I know about your Scottish friends, as well. If I were to be attacked, I will defend myself. If you care about them half as much as I've been told, then you'll do yourself a favor by making sure they don’t attack me. Unlike them, I have the ability to use my powers to defend myself.

How do I know you’re not going to kill me?

I was told you could tell when people were telling you the truth.

Will you get off me?

Will you behave?

Do I have a choice?

No, but it would make things easier.

Fine, I’ll behave.

He climbed off, and I tried to stand up as quickly as I could but my muscles were starting to seize up.

Feeling a little pain, are we?

What do you care?

I don’t, but you’re going to have to be in top shape if you’re going to train with me and actually learn anything.

Well then, smart ass, please, tell me how to make it go away.

Your muscles need to be worked, and apparently, you’ve been lazy.

If I have to train with you, then do me a favor and drop the condescending attitude. You may know more than I do, but I know enough to understand that all it takes is one good aim to put you down.

That’s brings us to our next understanding. You do have a much more powerful ability than I do. You can take my life. But you won’t. You must learn to control your ability and do whatever you can to prevent yourself from killing me. If you kill me, you'll have broken one of the most severe laws of the Knight family. You'll be hunted down and destroyed. It's forbidden to kill a brother unless it has been ordered. They won’t ask if it was a mistake. So, do us both a favor and learn to control your emotions. From what I’ve observed today, that's going to be the most difficult part for you.

How long have you been watching me?

Long enough to see you battle with yourself.

So, this is it. I’ve lost all control of my life. I’m not even a human anymore. I’m only a machine that has to do as it’s told.

You will do as you’re told if you want to save your life.

I snorted.

We need to establish a time and place to do this training. I would suggest a place other than this property for reasons I’m sure you can understand.

I have nothing to offer you. What you see is all I have. Besides, I can’t transfer anywhere. I don’t have that ability.

You don’t even know how to transfer?

I wasn’t aware it was something you could learn.

I might as well be training a toddler.

I started to walk away, but he grabbed my arm. I felt the rush and immediately found myself plunging into a black abyss of water. I didn’t have a chance to take a breath. My feet touched the bottom of whatever I was in, and I pushed off as hard as I could. I surfaced the water and tried to take in a deep breath, but the cold water seized my muscles tight and all I could manage was quick short breaths. I began to swim to the edge. I wasn’t moving very quickly, all I could muster were short strokes with my arms. Water kept rolling into my mouth and choking me, but I kept fighting. The moment my feet touched a solid surface, I realized I was in the river.

I climbed up to the bank and collapsed. I was so cold all I could do was pull my body into the fetal position and try to warm myself up. I knew it wouldn’t work. I knew the only way to warm up was to move around and keep my blood flowing, but my muscles wouldn’t function anymore.

Well, at least now I know you’re not suicidal. Let that be a lesson. You will never walk away from me again. I’ll meet you here in this exact place tomorrow morning at ten. Do not be late. I don’t like to wait.

And then he was gone.

It started to rain harder, and the rain drops felt like ice pelting me. I knew I had to get moving. I rolled over onto my hands and knees and crawled to a tree using it to brace myself as I tried to stand. I couldn’t see anything. The clouds covering the moon now were so thick, they didn’t let enough light shine through to see anything.

The moment I stood up, my shorts slid right down. They were too heavy to keep up, so I pulled them off and tied them around my waist when something fell out of the pocket. I looked around and saw something shimmer slightly. I slowly reached down, and knew it was my cell phone the moment I touched it. I tried to turn the power on, but it was fried.

No matter what, I couldn’t call for help using our mind connection. I knew my life was changing once again, and if I showed a moment of weakness, I was going to make the battle even worse. I had no idea what I was going to tell David. I had no choice but to tell him the truth. This was undoubtedly going to be the most difficult thing either one of us has had to face in our relationship.

I didn’t give myself a chance to be angry about it. I knew it was a waste of time. I had to learn how to use my powers. But how do you tell your protector to ignore someone that has the ability to kill you?

I forced myself to start walking. I didn’t have time to delay. I didn’t care if I tore every muscle in my body; I had to get home before David saw me looking like this.

I managed to find the little trail leading to the main trail around the property. I knew there were several little trails that connected to the main one, but I couldn’t see enough to know which was the right to take. I had to get home as fast as I could.

I pushed myself to run as hard as my body could muster. It took a while for my muscles to loosen up, but once they did, I pushed even harder. I never looked up. I tried to keep my eyes on the ground. It was a fairly wide trail, and as long as I kept in the middle, I knew I wouldn’t run into anything. All I had were shadows to go by, but it worked. The harder I ran the longer it seemed to take. I couldn’t remember where exactly on the trail we were when David pointed out the little path that took you to the river. All I knew was that I ran it earlier, and as long as I kept pushing myself, I would get to the end.

It wasn’t long before I was fighting exhaustion. Running the trail once was a huge feat for one day, especially for someone not used to running. Now I was running it a second time, and my body didn’t want to cooperate. All I could do to keep going was tell myself over and over again that the end was near.

The rain continued to pour down making the dirt on the trail slippery. I forced myself to slow down so I wouldn’t slip. I wasn’t sure if I could pull myself back up if I did.

Finally, I saw the end. The shadows lightened and the trail opened to the lawn. I could just barely see the house in front of me. I thought about stopping to put the shorts back on in case anyone was in the house, but there were no lights on. I ran to the porch, into the house, and straight up the stairs. I went to the bathroom and ripped the rest of my clothes off before jumping into the shower again.

I tried to calm down. David wasn’t home, but that didn’t bring any comfort to me. He should have been home by now. I expected Sean and Nick to be there as well. Surely they would have come to sneak in the hospital to see the baby. Wherever they were, I was sure they were with David. I waited until the heat of the shower could penetrate the coldness and then washed off. My legs and arms were so weak, I had to hurry. I knew I wasn’t going to make it much longer.

I dried off the best I could, threw on my pajamas, and went to bed. I was asleep before my head touched the pillow.

Chapter 2

I woke up the next morning around eight. The house was silent. Once again, I had to go through the routine of forcing my muscles to move. I was beginning to grow accustomed to the pain. It was there and it hurt, but I knew it wasn’t going to go away. The only thing I could do was push through it.

I went downstairs and on down to the basement to put the laundry in the dryer. Whatever hell I was about to be put through, I had to make sure I had pants that fit me. Once again, I was going to have to run the trail just to get to the river where Aidan wanted to meet.

I went up to the kitchen to see if I could find something to eat. I didn’t eat the day before, and knew I had to eat something before I caused even more problems I couldn’t afford. I don’t know if I was losing my mind or if I was just getting used to doing whatever was thrown at me. It was strange how I seemed to accept things, painful things, anymore. Since I couldn’t actually do what I wanted, at least this training was something to do. I only wish it was something David could see as a benefit for me.

I tried to avoid thinking about David. If I wasn’t careful, I would call him to me. The mind connection we had made it difficult to separate conversations from random thoughts about the person.

I didn’t want to wait until the last minute to tell him, and I only had a few minutes left before I had to take off running to meet Aidan. This was not going to be a quick announcement I could make and then run off into the sunset.

By the time my clothes were dry, I had to go. David still hadn’t shown up, and I forced myself not to think about it. I knew if I dwelled on it for just a second I would start worrying about him and find myself by his side. That is just another downfall of thinking about him too much; if I willed myself to be with him, our connection would transfer me to him. I couldn’t risk that right now.

Once again I was running, and it was an extremely slow start. I wasn’t sure if my legs would move fast enough. I over did it last night. I knew that had just as much to do with the pain as the normal cramps did. I had no idea what kind of training Aidan expected me to do, but if it involved physical elements, I was going to be a big disappointment to him.

I was shocked to find the path that led to the river quicker than I had anticipated. I couldn’t have run more than a mile. I walked the path to the river. Everything was still wet from last night’s rain, and the river seemed to be flowing much faster than I remembered it. I probably wouldn’t have been able to fight the current that was flowing now. I sat down on a rock just a little to the right of the trail and watched the river. I didn’t know what time it was, but I knew I had a while to wait. I gave myself an hour to run the trail thinking the path was much further up.

I hadn’t run enough to build my body heat up, so the longer I sat there, the colder I grew. I watched as my fingers slowly turned from pale to blue when something occurred to me. If I could use my power to light torches, then why couldn’t I use it to generate some heat?

I curled my hand up and concentrated on slowly bringing the power up into my hand. The sparks started appearing at my finger tips and then they connected to form a continuous circuit. Instantly my hand started to warm up, so I cupped my other hand close to the arc and felt the heat almost instantly begin to warm my skin. Then something else started to happen. I felt my muscles begin to relax. It felt as if I was draining the power from my muscles. It must be the power that was what causing the cramping, as if there was too much of it inside me and it needed to be expelled.

I tried to think about how long it had been since I last used my power. The last time I could remember was spring. It was now midsummer. Could it be that simple? Was that all it really took was to simply get rid of some of the excess power? No one else seemed to have that kind of problem; but then again, Aidan did say that my power was stronger than his. Maybe my power was too strong to keep contained for long, and if I didn’t do something with it, my body wouldn’t be able to contain it.

I held my hand out away from me and towards the river, and let the power build up a little stronger. The stronger the power grew, the more my body relaxed.

Well, I see you can make it on time.

I instantly released the power and spun around. Aidan was standing just a few feet from me, leaning against a tree.

How long have you been standing there?

Long enough, I expected to have some company. he said, as he walked towards the edge of the river.

No, it’s just me.

Did you tell him?

I haven’t spoken to David yet.

Why not?

Are we going to train or are you going to stand there and interrogate me?

Are you always this angry?

I don’t know what you’ve been told, but I assure you, I have every right to feel angry. So instead of wasting your time with long drawn out explanations you really don’t care about, let’s proceed with this training. If not, I’ll leave. And this time I’ll be polite enough to tell you I’m leaving; because I swear if you ever try to do something to me like you did last night, I’ll kill you. And I don’t care who comes to hunt me down. I’ll just add them to the list of people who are already hunting me.

Where was this feistiness last night? I took you down with absolutely no effort whatsoever.

I don’t have to explain myself to you.

That’s true. But you do need to learn how to control your emotions. You can't allow your emotions to drive you, or you'll fail. You have to allow your mind to control you. If you can't control yourself, you can't control your power. Your emotions are driven by circumstance and circumstances can be altered and used against you. You have to focus on the one thing that no one can alter. Your mind is the single, most important power you possess.

Are you telling me that I have to stop caring about others?

No, but you have to be able to contain your emotions and allow your mind to function properly. Imagine this scenario. You’re standing face to face with an enemy that has David with a gun pointed at his head. Would you rather stand there begging your enemy to release David, or would you prefer to analyze the situation to find a solution that not only saves David’s life but also stops your enemy from escaping?

The latter one of course.

Do you think you could concentrate on seeing David’s life in danger that way?

I don’t know. I’ve been in a similar position and then something else happens that I don’t understand. It almost feels like the power is in control and it’s the one fighting.

That can be just as dangerous. You’re giving in to your power. You still have control but you’re no longer concerned about your own self-preservation. That’s what martyrs do. They run straight into battle fighting when they know they won’t survive. They’re only thinking about how their actions will benefit others. I’m here to teach you how to protect yourself so you'll stay alive. I need your mind functioning on all levels.

How do you control your emotions?

Simple, I don’t get involved with people on a personal level.

I can’t do that.

Then you have to find a way to shut that part of your mind off.

Don’t you have a family?

I’m not here to discuss my personal life with you.

What you’re asking me to do goes against everything I know and everything that has kept me going this long.

I’m not telling you that you have to walk away from anyone, I’m only telling you that you have to learn to separate emotion from logic.

I don’t mean to argue with you, but I don’t know if I can do that. I don’t have an assignment. I don’t have a purpose that drives me. All I have is my love for those that I look to as family. I fight to protect them. Not because I have to or I’m assigned to, but because I love them. Without love there is no reason for me to fight.

He sat there and glared at me as if I had told him the most ridiculous story in the world.

I can’t look at what I’m fighting for as just a job and then go home. I can’t separate things that way; and frankly, if I don’t have my family, I have nothing to live for.

You have yourself.

Yes, and I’ve tried to live alone. I’ve tried to live when the people I loved more than anything were killed because of me. You see, I’m not someone that has something to fight for. I’ve lived through hell, and I’m still trying to climb out of it. You think I’m emotional and that I’m being ridiculous, but if you experienced only a fraction of what I’ve been through, maybe you would understand.

I told you, I didn’t want to listen to any pity parties.

How many people do you know that were killed because of who you are?

No one and it will stay that way because I don’t allow my emotions to get in the way.

Do you even have any emotions?

He sneered at me and said, I am not here to discuss me. You'll do as I say. I’m done with this conversation. We’ll meet every day, but we won’t start training until I know you can control your emotions. I will warn you though. If you continue to waste my time, I’ll make your life more miserable than you can even imagine.

You know nothing about misery.

Don’t tempt me.

Why? What can you possibly do that’ll bring me more misery than I’m already living in?

I can have your protector’s assignment changed. Wouldn’t it be interesting to discover how true his feelings are for you, or if they're nothing more than his devotion to an assignment?

If that would save his life, then do it.

Where is that going to leave you? Without David, you have no security.

I don’t care.

You don’t care about David?

Yes I do, and I would do anything to protect him.

Bring him here with you tomorrow.

What do you mean bring him here?

Are you really that dense?

I thought you said this was about me, and you didn’t want him involved.

I don’t want him involved. It’s you that is involving him. Bring him here tomorrow, same time, same place. And then he was gone.

When was I ever going to learn to keep my mouth shut? I could have just sat there, listened, and told him I would do as he said. Why did I have to bring David into this?

The longer I stood there, the more furious I grew. I couldn’t even think straight. I had no idea where David was; I didn’t even know if he wanted to speak to me.

I turned toward the path and took off running as hard as I could. Instead of taking the short route, I took the long one. Then I did the only safe thing I could think of. I called out to Sean.

"Yes?" his voice rang through my head.

"I’m sorry about doing this, but do you know where David is?"

"He’s right here with us."

"Where exactly is that?"

"We’re at Eric’s house."

I wasn’t expecting to hear that. I knew they would sneak in to see the baby when none of the other family was around, but didn’t expect them to be at their house. I had never even seen their house. I wasn’t sure if I was even going to get a chance to see the baby.

"Was there something you wanted?"

"No. I hadn’t heard from you guys in a while; I just wanted to check up. I’ll talk to you later."

It was like the wind had been knocked out of me. Here I was dealing with some psycho that wanted to turn me into some cold, killing machine, and they were carrying on as if I didn’t even exist anymore.

I knew it had only been one day, but that was all it took for them to push me away like I was nothing. Aidan was right. I depended on my emotions too much. I depended on my love for them to keep me going, and only now was I learning how much of a mistake that was. He was right about another thing. Without David, I had nothing. I didn’t have any money I could access. All of my money had been transferred into gold and was sitting in a safe in David’s house. I had no access to it. Hell, I didn’t even have a phone anymore.

There was only one thing left for me to do. I couldn’t please anyone no matter what I did. I took off running, and this time, I cut off on one of the shorter trails. It seemed like I was back at the house in no time.

I ran upstairs and took my engagement ring off, put it back in its box, and placed it in the drawer with my other jewelry. Then grabbed a sweatshirt and tied it around my waist. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath. Then walked down the stairs, locked the front door and continued down the driveway. I didn’t look back. I kept my eyes forward and walked until I reached the road. Without hesitation, I headed towards the highway. I didn’t care how angry Aidan would be when he found out I wasn’t coming to meet him. He laid out a stipulation I couldn’t meet. I didn’t care if he found me. I didn’t care what he thought, and I didn’t care about his assignment. He wanted me to become emotionless, and now, he had it. I just didn’t care anymore.

I walked mindlessly until I reached the highway where I had to decide which direction I wanted to go. If I headed to Fort Wayne, it would put me in the mix of people, and I didn’t want to look at another person. The other direction led to rural countryside where there were deep ditches along the side of the highway. I could walk them and no one would see me. It was already getting late, and it wouldn’t be long before the sun was setting. It seemed the best, so I turned left and headed into the countryside.

I walked late into the night. I thought about running, but there was no sense. I had no destination. My only goal was to get as far away from everyone as I could. I knew that as long as I stayed out of harm’s way and as long as I focused on staying where none of them had been before, the chance of them finding me was slim. There was always that ability of David’s to find me, but he had to want to first. That was obviously not one of his goals. Then again, I could prevent him from finding me altogether. All I had to do was simply not want him around me, and he couldn’t interfere against my free will. I guess I did have one last thing of which I still held control of.

I walked until I was too tired to continue. I pulled my sweatshirt on and found some dry grass to lie down on. All of the arguments and all of the accusations started to pour through my head. I knew exactly what everyone would think as soon as they realized I was gone. I was running away, again. I was being selfish and only thinking about myself. I was placing everyone’s life in danger. But when did it end?

I left last time because I caused a fight between David and Jack. Once again, I was leaving because I wanted