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    Heaven’s Back Door: What I learned When I Died
    Heaven’s Back Door: What I learned When I Died
    Heaven’s Back Door: What I learned When I Died
    Ebook57 pages45 minutes

    Heaven’s Back Door: What I learned When I Died

    By Victoria Cayce

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    About this ebook

    This book is about my struggle to live and my journey into death. I found myself at heaven's back door, and got a glimpse of the life that follows this one. It was a beautiful, incredible and indescribable journey from the depths of pain in my own little hell on earth to the ineffable mystery of meeting God.
    I was received tenderly, but it was not easy. I found out what a precious gift life really is. Dying wasn't the hard part, it was learning to live that really made me cry.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherVictoria Cayce
    Release dateSep 3, 2013
    ISBN9781301032761
    Heaven’s Back Door: What I learned When I Died
    Author

    Victoria Cayce

    Victoria is a blood relative of the late Edgar Cayce (although not affiliated in any way with his wonderful foundation). She lives in Texas with her son and her dog Taz. She is damn sexy, a pacifist, an earth mother goddess type and lives life to the fullest each day.She is an avid hiker, rock hound and loves the outdoors. She is also tacky, funny , loves life, cherishes her friends and family and laughs a lot (usually inappropriately).

    Read more from Victoria Cayce

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      Book preview

      Heaven’s Back Door - Victoria Cayce

      Heaven’s Back Door: What I learned When I Died

      By Victoria Cayce

      Copyright 2013 Victoria Cayce

      Published on Smashwords

      Formatted by eBooksMade4You

      * * *

      All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. Thank you for respecting the author's work.

      * * *

      Dedication

      For Holly

      When I think of you, I do not think of a broken woman, far from hope. No, I think of a phoenix, emerging from the remains from the past. I think of you as the eagle, rising on great currents above the valley that kept you in shadows for so long. I think of the geese that fly across the sky without compass or map, yet always reaching home. I think of the fireflies at dusk, lit from the inside, shining through the darkness with joy. When I think of you, and I do so with love, I think of someone who will come through this tempest, someone who will become a lighthouse that safely steers others through their own storms. Be brave my dear one, for when I think of you, that is the word I use, brave, just brave. I love you both more than I could ever express.

      * * *

      Table of Contents

      The Day I Died

      The Puppy

      The Icing on the Cake

      School

      The Worst Day of My Short Life

      Misery

      Death

      Coming Back

      Beautiful Scars

      Take off the Chains

      Your Declaration of Independence

      Monsters in the Basement

      * * *

      The Day I Died

      I waited for death to grasp my hand and take me, to wherever it is that I would go. The rays from the setting sun began to meld into dusk on the horizon. It seemed fitting that the day was kissing the night in a twilight greeting. This would be my last sunset, or so I thought.

      I could feel my heart skipping beats as it struggled valiantly to keep going in spite of my protests. There was a terrible, rending pause as it cramped and fought to continue beating. My body did not want to die, but I did not want to live. Life seemed like an unbearable sentence that I had desperately endured far too long.

      The radio in my car was playing old, familiar songs, heedless of my impending exit. I thought it was odd that I would pass away listening to the Beatles. It all felt so surreal. It was as if the music drifted in like the feather of some exotic and strange bird, from parallel place light-years away, somewhere that was not always grey, a world with color and light- a realm far from my own.

      I wondered how much it would hurt, not that it mattered. There was no turning back now. By taking those pills, I had just lit a match that would burn away the bridge of life behind me. I did not know what came next. It could not, I believed, be worse than everything I already knew. Somehow the pain of simply breathing everyday was so much worse. I waited, calmly counting the spaces between my now-frantic heartbeats. Wasn’t I supposed to see my life flash before my eyes? It seemed that it would not.

      Not that I would have missed much. I grew up in an abusive and neglectful home. I was pretty much broken in as many ways as you can break a child. I was molested, unfed, unwashed and rejected.

      I always felt that there was some stain in me, one that I could never quite wash off. I did not know what I had done; I reasoned that I must have done something pretty bad. Not that anyone ever told me what it was and I, for my part, was never brave enough to ask.

      I looked at other children, and they did not look dirty, with matted hair and haunted eyes. They did not know what it was to hide in the cabinet

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