The Link

Chapter 1

What do you think about covert research? Who is developing new kinds of communications technologies and why? Because something is changing in the world – something that could affect your life in the most profound way.

Tylee Havey has studied and worked on communication theory. It is her area of expertise, and more than that, it is her primary area of interest. She had never found a way to connect deeply with other people on a personal level. Oh, she had friends, sort of. She had groups of acquaintances and she had family but she had never been fundamental to another person's happiness. Tylee knew that if she disappeared from the face of the earth there would be a little sadness, but no real sorrow. Because of this lack of connection she had originally not rushed to make communications technology a part of her life. She didn’t have a cell phone. She had no Facebook or Twitter account. She didn't want a phone that didn't ring.

This distancing made it possible for her to watch the way people communicated on cell phones, and on the internet. Tylee wondered if she was the only one who noticed a fundamental cultural shift, especially among adolescents. When did it become uncool to experience an emotion based upon an empathetic response to the pain or sorrow of another. Was vulnerability, which in Tylee's mind, was the only real way to really touch and be touched by another, really so unwelcome an emotion? When did connecting to many strangers in a shallow way become preferable to connecting to a few in a deep, transforming way?

One day Tylee was seated at a local coffee shop where she was watching people come and go. She watched a group of 5 teenagers. They all had cell phones – some were in use, others in pockets. The teens didn't speak much to each other as far as Tylee could see. There were no comments about the beauty of the day or about plans for the evening. When one got a call the others watched enviously. They all seemed to be waiting for their own phones to ring – waiting to be wanted by someone not present. Once, one of the boys, not noticing that his friend was on a call, spoke directly to him. The response was immediate from the whole group. The boy was treated to sneers and a rising of the shoulders of the others which effectively blocked any interaction. He apologized profusely, immediately. Tylee saw him blush and look away from the group. For a moment she thought she saw a look of such discouragement that she wondered if he would walk away from the group, but he stayed – walking at the back of the crowd with his head down.

Did no one else see that the caller had become much more real to a cell phone addict than the person or people they were actually with? As time passed and texting became ubiquitous she noticed that young people were texting each other though they were in close physical proximity. They chose not to simply speak. Tylee wondered if overwhelming technological intrusion had been the death of vulnerability and empathy.

This type of interaction was called connectedness, but Tylee thought that it placed a person at one degree of remove away from real communication. In the name of being connected people were becoming more and more isolated. She wanted to understand the nature of real human connectedness, not artificially created pseudo communication.

During those years of her life Tylee thought the ultimate goal in communications theory would be to participate in a global community of like minds. It was a beautiful thought. She envisioned a world where no one was odd man out – where ideas could grow and flourish among the willing nurture of minds working together. She wondered if the internet would provide access to global inclusiveness, not just connectedness. Would it eliminate loneliness? Would the group grow to be more than the sum of its individual parts?

These were the questions Tylee asked during her graduate courses, whenever anyone would listen. Finding an audience that could tune in was difficult. Even in class discussion time Tylee found that any idea that was new was treated with suspicion and almost immediate rejection.

One day, in a verbal communications class, Tylee asked the class to explain the merits of their constant use of cell phone technology. The response was overwhelming – she was condemned for close mindedness, for infringing upon the rights of others. Had the other students even heard her real query was a question – why was an answer so difficult to get? Why anger, and defensiveness? Tylee sat in her space at the back of the class feeling shut out and very, very alone.

The professor asked her to restate the question.

What is the fundamental difference between cell phone communication or texting, and face to face communication? She queried.

You just don't understand! said a girl with big red hair, and pink ear buds hanging around her neck. Her phone was in her hand."

You're right, I don't understand. Can you help? Tylee said in a voice that held a degree of irritation. She was tired of asking reasonable questions out of a sincere desire to understand, and being met with what seemed like obstinate refusal to convey information. At that time it hadn't occurred to Tylee that the other students felt as she did – they were without real connections and it frightened them. The hostility came from fear that someone would find out how alone they really were.

I want to understand the nature of the connectedness that you find when you are in constant contact with your callers. She had begun to think that this was a question to which there were no answers. People simply drifted into a kind of technology addiction without considering the effects on their ability to truly connect with a real person. And then, she wondered if what she saw was in fact real connectedness or if the behavior was just a constant effort to find what the individual feared everyone else had.

You sound like my mother! one young woman said scornfully – her cell phone clutched in a fist. You don't have to follow the crowd. Another scoffed. You can just stay alone; probably no one wants you anyway.

That answer left Tylee feeling crushed. That person, a stranger to her, could not possibly understand how much she would have liked to be wanted at that period of her life – by anyone.

Tylee quit questioning aloud in her classes. Instead, she watched people and grew more and more concerned. It had become clear that even being asked to consider the topic of cell phone and technology addiction was threatening to this new kind if addict.

Even then she had begun to wonder if other people think about anything at all. Did others have questions that went unanswered? Were others longing for information, fearing rejection if their aloneness was exposed?

Chapter 2

Maybe the reason that Tylee was so interested in connectedness is that her life was largely disconnected from others. She had always been a loner. The youngest of a large family, separated from the next sibling by 5 years, she was always the one who couldn't quite keep up. Her mother was overworked, and always made it clear to her that the last thing she had wanted was another child. She didn't spend much time speaking or interacting with Tylee. The next sibling was a brother – he had other things to do than help his little sister develop interpersonal skills.

So she grew up reading, crafting, and wondering why everyone else seemed to get it and she didn't. She grew up in a gray world moving from moment to moment, waiting for the days to pass until something happened.

Graduate studies gave her a measure of relief from this solitude. She made a few friends, and became a part of a number of groups. She was very bright, and knew that she had much to offer. In the higher education venue she was confident. This was the period of her life during which she made an all out effort to integrate. She was in the engineering department and had a couple of peers who spoke the esoteric language of communications technology. That was nice. She made one particular friend who graduated a couple of years ahead of her and moved on - they lost touch, but the relationship had been meaningful. One thing this group and Tylee shared was a desire to see real contact made between people through technology. Their motivations may have been different. Some wanted to achieve wealth, prestige or fame. Tylee just wanted to find a way to bridge the chasm between herself and another person. Since it was not happening naturally for her she conjectured that an artificial assist was in order. Her goal was to create technology that would override her own inability to form relationships, but would in fact, create a firm, personal link that would be impossible to resist.

Tylee wondered if her colleagues all felt as cut off as she did. Was the unspoken fact that each was interested in developing the technology to establish a link with the world, a link they couldn't achieve on their own? Even in this group, however, no admission was made by anyone of difficulties developing relationships.

She joined political groups on campus, not with an eye to ideology, but because some of these people seemed passionate about their causes. That didn't last long when she started to ask questions. Even a simple request for an explanation of the political platform brought condemnation from the others. They accused her of failing to be fully committed, to the cause. When she said that without an explanation of what the cause was she would have to quit the group she was shown the door.

She learned to cook; she joined book clubs, and a campus religious studies group. All of these groups offered a chance to be included, but Tylee hoped that a Christian community would be open to befriending a short, unattractive nerdy girl with way out of date glasses in a deeper, more fundamental way.

At first they were friendly, but as time passed she drifted to the bottom of that pecking order as she always had. Tylee couldn't speak their language any better than she had been able to anywhere else. Still she learned some