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    Funny Stuff!
    Funny Stuff!
    Funny Stuff!
    Ebook40 pages36 minutes

    Funny Stuff!

    By Terry James

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Funny Stuff is a Collection of Eight Cracking stories in the comedy genre by author Terry James. look for his other work here on smashwords.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTerry James
    Release dateSep 26, 2013
    ISBN9781301360482
    Funny Stuff!

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      Book preview

      Funny Stuff! - Terry James

      FUNNY STUFF

      by

      TERRY JAMES

      Published by Terry James at Smashwords

      Copyright 2013 Terry James

      Discover other titles by Terry James at smashwords.com

      Table of Contents

      HOTEL FOR THE STARS

      HOTEL FOR THE STARS – EPILOGUE

      BIG BOB

      TROUBLE AND STRIFE

      ROAST RAT

      SERIAL WALLPAPER SNAPPERS

      TONY

      DOZEY LARRY

      MEETING GOD

      HOTEL FOR THE STARS

      John Lennon, walked into the hotel, straight to reception.

      'Hi, Paddy' he said, Paddy didn't look too good.

      'Been on the sauce Paddy?' Lennon grinned.

      'Aye John' answered Paddy 'had a skinfull last night, so I did, got up this morning and groaned to myself, never again. I've been saying the same thing for years, so I have.' Lennon laughed as Paddy handed over the keys to room 109, the Belvedere suite.

      'See you later Paddy' said Lennon walking away, leaving Paddy holding his head in his hands on the desk. Lennon took the lift, it stopped at level seven with a judder, a green light flashed and jingled. The doors opened, Lennon took one step when Elton John came rushing in and knocked Lennon flying, he bounced of the lift wall and slid back down on his arse. Lennon jumped up, screaming at Elton calling him all the names under the sun, and some new ones, Lennon could do that. Elton burst out laughing, pointing at Lennon's head.

      'What are you laughing at Elton? You little fat git!' Lennon shouted.

      'Can I have my wig back John, It doesn’t suit you! Ha! Ha!' Elton’s wig had flew off in the bump, landing on Lennon’s head. Lennon looking horrified, snatched the wig off his own head in disgust and threw it at Elton, who put it back on, back to front. It was Lennon's turn to laugh, stepping out of the lift, doubled over leaving Elton sulking, bottom lip stuck out as the lift doors shut.

      Lennon walked down the lobby, his mood had quickly changed. At the very end of the lobby he entered room 109, threw his coat off and lay on the bed, crossing his legs. He contemplated, about what on earth he was going to do about Paul McCartney, who was becoming more irrational by the day. Yes! Thought Lennon, 'Paul's definitely losing it, he will have to get sorted'.

      Lennon, dozed off, half dreaming about Yoko Ono, she had threw him out again. Telling him, he was only a lodger! 'Fuckin hell! Me John Lennon, a lodger in my own apartment, fuck! A whole apartment block, top floor. Lennon now sunk into a deep sleep and Paul McCartney, appeared holding a blood stained axe shouting.

      'You fucker! John! You've pinched my new song, taking the credit again!' I've just split Ringo's head, the little fuckers been singing, yesterday, again.' Lennon was about to protest, but only managed half a syllable as McCartney swung the axe laughing crazily, Lennon screamed and woke abruptly, still screaming , sweating

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