Everand Logo

Welcome to Everand!

  • Discover millions of ebooks, audiobooks, and so much more with a free trial

    Only $11.99/month after trial. Cancel anytime.

    Bitter Sweet
    Bitter Sweet
    Bitter Sweet
    Ebook76 pages1 hour

    Bitter Sweet

    By Robert Young

    ()

    Read preview

    About this ebook

    Tom's making a bit of a mess of this. There's the new woman in his life, except he's doing his best to mess that up. Then there's the unfortunate timing of the ex-girlfriend situation, which in all honesty, he could have handled better.

    There's the fact that he he seems unable to form decisions without having a few beers first. And then after too. Plus he's taking advice from a distinctly dysfunctional group of mates.

    This is going to get worse before it gets better.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherRobert Young
    Release dateOct 9, 2013
    ISBN9781301543144
    Bitter Sweet
    Author

    Robert Young

    I'll tell you right off, I'm not someone who always wanted to be a writer. Heck, as a kid, I didn't even like reading! I'd rather play, and if there was a ball involved, that was even better. In the classroom, I'd be the squirmy one, looking out the window or counting down the minutes until recess. Oh, there were bursts of interest in writing along the way, especially when I could get up and read a funny story to the class. But, as I got older, writing became more of a chore, something to do for a grade. When high school graduation came, it was clear I wasn't going to be a major league baseball player, and I sure didn't want to fight in a war (Vietnam) that made no sense, so off to college I went. That's where I got excited about the power of words. Reading can take you anywhere, and it can teach you anything you want to know. I graduated in 1973 with a degree in education. Armed with my interest in words, I began teaching. The books my students read intrigued me, and it wasn't long before I was thinking I wanted to be a writer. I just didn't have a clue on how to go about it. So, I started small: letters to the editor, magazine articles, short stories, plays. Some of them even got published! My interest in nonfiction came after my son, Tyler, was born. Watching him explore the world with wonder ignited my own curiosity, which had somehow cooled over the years. That's when I started writing nonfiction. Nonfiction is about wondering, asking questions, seeking answers, and sharing them. The curiosity I rekindled still guides me as I write today.

    Read more from Robert Young

    Related to Bitter Sweet

    Related ebooks

    Humor & Satire For You

    View More
    View More

    Related podcast episodes

    Related articles

    • Article

      Mature Adults In Your Area

      Aug 8, 2022

      I would say that I don’t normally do this kind of thing, except that on and off over the months and years, I’ve done “these kinds of things” too many times for that to be true. So yeah, I go on dates from time to time. This recent guy wouldn’t choose

      6 min read

    • Article

      Getting THE SNIP

      Mar 5, 2023

      Musings from our favourite Kiwi funnywoman For a while – and this is no longer true – but for about a year, I had a hairdresser who hated me. Hate is a strong word. I mean, he looked bored when I arrived at the salon, could barely summon the energy t

      2 min read

    • Article

      Memo To Self: Don't Tell Bernard Manning Gags

      Nov 15, 2023

      ‘Do you reckon,’ I enquired on a visit to my wife in bucolic Dorset, ‘that this is an early sign of frontal-lobe dementia?’ Rebecca, who underscored her high intelligence and flawless judgement by vacating the marital home 13 years ago, pondered this

      3 min read

    • Article

      Does Flirting Really Get You Ahead?

      Feb 28, 2023

      Despite being single, I’ve never been very big on flirting. In all honesty, I’ve never been that good at it. But after a recent study published in the journal Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes revealed that it is actually men who u

      4 min read

    • Article

      Stubble TROUBLE

      Mar 30, 2022

      Stubble TROUBLE
      3 min read

    • Article

      If the SHOE FITS

      Nov 16, 2021

      If the SHOE FITS
      6 min read

    • Article

      Fall-down COMEDIAN

      Apr 11, 2021

      Fall-down COMEDIAN
      3 min read

    • Article

      Once BITTEN

      Jun 28, 2022

      Once BITTEN
      14 min read

    • Article

      A Few Words to the Graduates

      Jun 11, 2018

      A Few Words to the Graduates
      7 min read

    • Article

      Who dares WINS

      Mar 21, 2023

      Who dares WINS
      4 min read

    • Article

      NATIONAL Elf Service

      Dec 7, 2022

      You’re… a lady!’ said the outraged little boy. You can say what you like, you can’t fool the younger generation. ‘Yes,’ I confirmed. ‘I am a lady.’ Was it the awkward long white beard which gave me away? Or the rather unconvincing way that I said, ‘

      3 min read

    • Article

      Right date, RIGHT NOW

      Feb 15, 2023

      Right date, RIGHT NOW
      6 min read

    • Article

      New DATING

      Mar 2, 2022

      New DATING
      3 min read

    • Article

      Don’t Have A Bird

      Aug 2, 2020

      There are so many rites of passage you’ve already missed out on, and the school ball is destined to become another item on that ever-growing list. You try to delay the inevitable until every breath from your lungs sounds as if cystic fibrosis is cack

      12 min read

    • Article

      No lying FOR A WEEK

      Apr 14, 2020

      No lying FOR A WEEK
      4 min read

    • Article

      GOING TO A PARTY with Alzheimer’s

      Jul 2, 2020

      It is a Saturday evening. I am getting ready to go to a party. I am not looking forward to it, though it is hard to explain why. I can see the tremor of my fingers, as I apply my make-up. I worry that my lipstick is smudged, or perhaps on my nose in

      4 min read

    • Article

      Not Just For CHRISTMAS

      Nov 24, 2021

      Not Just For CHRISTMAS
      9 min read

    • Article

      It’s Just A NUMBER

      Jul 2, 2023

      Mayhem and mirth with the man about the house May I ask,” said the young woman behind the counter at my local shop. Then she paused and she said it again, “May I ask…” And for a bizarre moment, I thought she was going to require proof that I was old

      2 min read

    • Article

      Just a Kiss

      Jun 4, 2020

      Just a Kiss
      6 min read

    • Article

      Time For A COFFEE

      Feb 24, 2021

      Time For A COFFEE
      6 min read

    • Article

      Love Is All Around

      Jan 16, 2020

      IT’S a leap year, gulp. As if the Valentine’s gush isn’t enough, now the girlfriends and single ladies among us must publicly announce our undying love by proposal. I’ve spent at least two leap years and nearly a decade of Valentine’s Days concentrat

      4 min read

    • Article

      Haunted

      Sep 27, 2023

      Haunted
      6 min read

    • Article

      Better Luck Next Time

      Jan 31, 2021

      Better Luck Next Time
      2 min read

    • Article

      Let battle COMMENCE

      Apr 28, 2021

      “ You could have knocked me down with a feather. No wait, the days when you could actually knock me down with a feather are a distant memory. These days it would take the entire bird, and a pretty hefty one at that. So let’s cut out the colourful fig

      3 min read

    • Article

      Down memory LANE

      May 24, 2023

      Do you remember when that policeman came into the pub, and got mistaken for a male stripper?’ said Stella, smiling. I pulled a face to give the impression that I was concentrating hard to recall the occasion, but nothing about policemen or strippers

      3 min read

    • Article

      Say Yes To No

      Feb 10, 2021

      Say Yes To No
      4 min read

    Related categories

    Reviews for Bitter Sweet

    0 ratings

    0 ratings0 reviews

    What did you think?

    Tap to rate

    Review must be at least 10 words

      Book preview

      Bitter Sweet - Robert Young

      Bitter Sweet

      Copyright © Robert Young 2013. Smashwords Edition

      Robert Young has asserted his right under the Copyright, Designs and Patents Act 1988 to be identified as the author of this work.

      Chapter 1

      It's a Thursday, about eight in the evening, I'm a twenty-seven year old single man and I work in the City. From this information you may have reasonably deduced that I have also had a couple of drinks already. Four actually. Pints. Well done you.

      This particular evening I am feeling particularly good. The boss has been dropping hints about my bonus being decent this year, I've had a disaster-free day in the office, which counts for a lot at the moment, and I've managed to drag my sorry carcass out of the pub by 8 o'clock instead of propping up the bar until kicking-out. All in all, pretty good going. Well done me.

      I'm walking along through the cold evening, crowds thinner now but still plenty of people about. I'm smiling to myself, humming a tune and considering whether to call a mate and go and meet him for a drink or whether to make the most of my rare good sense and go home, leaving me hangover free for a Friday morning. The change might do me good after all.

      Past McDonalds without a flicker, past KFC with just a minor internal conflict but I keep on walking and now I'm even more pleased with myself.

      On occasion you see policemen and policewomen standing around train stations and other public places. More visible in one of those Government initiatives to combat terror. With bright yellow reflective vests. On this occasion I see a policewoman standing on the concourse at King's Cross as I change trains on the second and final leg of my triumphant early and not-completely-whammed trip home. She's pretty. Stand-out-in-a-crowd-pretty too. I mean, she's already standing out what with the anti-terror bright yellow reflective vest and the uniform and all that. But you know what I mean.

      So I look at her longer than I should do or normally would do and of course, of course, she clocks me. Looks right back at me with a look that tells me she knows that I'm staring. I keep staring of course. I'm not pissed, like I said. But I am four-pints cocky.

      Eye contact. This is new. Never eyed up a copper before. She maintains the eye contact too. This is also new. Never been eyed up by a copper before. She is isn't she?

      Let's face it, it’s doubtful but I smile at her anyway.

      She smiles back. It's a nice smile. A really nice smile and she really is really very pretty now that she's smiling that really nice smile at me. So when I draw level with her I step up from the smile to a very friendly and personable 'Hi,' which is just the right side of polite that I can pass it off as merely being friendly to a copper rather than a bit cheeky should she decide to exercise her right to stop smiling at any point.

      'Hello sir,' she says.

      And then, with no plan, no forethought, no inkling of a clue what I'm going to do next, I stop. I really don't know why I've decided to stop here, about a two feet away from where she's standing looking up at me from underneath the hat and not smiling anymore. Except I do know of course and it has everything to do with why my bladder is so full.

      I look momentarily like I'm about to say something, as if something important has occurred to me that I consider it my civic duty to inform the police about. But then I stop, pausing in what I consider to be an enigmatic moment of reflection, although it may well just look like I'm drunk and I have forgotten what I was going to say. I haven't. Mainly because I have no idea what it is I was going to say in the first place.

      With any luck, the rising sense of embarrassment and mild panic is hidden deep beneath my calm, suave exterior. Maybe, she'll be fooled by the suit and my shiny shoes. Hang on a sec, they look filthy.

      'Having a pleasant evening sir?' she asks and I get more than a little self conscious that she has done so not out of a burning attraction to me, but more a sense of condescension and pity. But, you know, four pints.

      'Picking up,' I say, just the hint of a smile tugging playfully at the corners of my mouth. 'Picking up.'

      Could that be just the hint of a smile tugging playfully at the corners of her mouth? Four pints says yes.

      'Nice night to be out,' I say to her, instantly and expertly demonstrating my effortless command of both irony and sarcasm. She can't fail to have been impressed by that.

      'Perks of the job,' she says with the smile returning. Half the smile anyway. That's encouraging. I really shouldn't be encouraged though. I really should know better. But I don't so I grin back at her. Roguish, boyish charm and a generous dash of self-assurance. Of course. Four pints cocky.

      Another pause here. I am struggling with the next thing to say. In fact, if I'm honest, I haven't exactly set the world alight so far so I need to make the next thing I say really good, a tiny bit playful and, ideally, very funny. I'm aware that asking her how she is, or how long she's been a policewoman, or venturing down some similar conversational cul de sac will do nothing but mark me down as a dullard and a boor and a drunk. God knows right now I need to hide the real me.

      She must be in a charitable mood though, or perhaps she's just a good professional, because she says 'Can I... help with anything sir?'

      She could think I'm a nutter, a pisshead, scary or just lonely. Or a nasty combination of the four. Four-pints cocky; she loves

      Enjoying the preview?
      Page 1 of 1