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    Nobody Can Tell Me What to Believe
    Nobody Can Tell Me What to Believe
    Nobody Can Tell Me What to Believe
    Ebook158 pages1 hour

    Nobody Can Tell Me What to Believe

    By Patricia Reed

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    About this ebook

    A guide for dealing with spirituality and the God thing in 12-Step Recovery with integrity. Includes stories told by 12-Step members, as well as examples, exercises, and ideas about how to create a spirituality that works with the Twelve Steps, whether or not God is included in that spirituality.
    Especially good for people new to any of the 12 Step groups, and also includes a chapter for long-time 12-Step members that wish to freshen up their spirituality.
    Helpful for those who have difficulty with God, whether they have abandoned a previous religion (either Christian or non-Christian), have no prior religious affiliation, are agnostic, atheist, or have confusion about what they believe. Also helpful for those who are angry with God or who believe they cannot reconcile with earlier affiliations.
    A good read for anyone who wants to be rock solid and excited about their spirituality -- on their own terms -- and who wants to use the Twelve Steps.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPatricia Reed
    Release dateOct 26, 2013
    ISBN9780976702313
    Nobody Can Tell Me What to Believe
    Author

    Patricia Reed

    My passion is to free people from worn out ideas about spirituality so they can assemble a set of beliefs that really work for them! My favorite readers are seekers who have unique ideas about spirituality, religion, and God (or NO God)! I now have the life I've always wanted, but learned everything the hard way. I value confusion (it worked for me!) -- it's an honest platform from which to jump into a real sense of purpose and happiness. I've spent most of my awake time in the pursuit of feeling right within myself, and that journey included just about anything you can do to feel better or different: overdoing substances and activities, various religions, no religion, service to others, selfishness, international travel, parachute jumping, staying home, high-tech jobs, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, marriage, divorce, marriage (well, I think I have that one sorted out now), friendships, education, and ongoing inward exploration. I also embrace open-mindedness, as long I remember to balance it with actual discernment (which seems to improve with age). It has never mattered to me what your personal preferences and life style might be, although I confess that I strongly dislike hypocrisy. Be real and you've got my attention; be fake and I have better things to do with my time. And I believe that each of us is doing the best we can do, given all of the pieces of who we are and where we came from. Creativity seems to be a natural urge and since there's no end to it, we can all just keep growing and learning. I've finally managed to retire from the "daily grind" so that I can spend my time writing fiction, nonfiction and poetry, reading, meditating, learning to play the piano again, visiting with friends, making new friends, being a grandmother to two of my favorite people, being part of a wonderful family, being a contributing citizen locally and of the world, and walking alongside my husband -- along the beach, among the redwoods, and in every aspect of life. My brief bio says: Patricia Reed is a writer, a counselor, and an avid questioner of all things spiritual. She has traveled internationally doing research on various aspects of world religion and spirituality. She lives on the Central California Coast with her husband, Jon.

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      Book preview

      Nobody Can Tell Me What to Believe - Patricia Reed

      NOBODY CAN TELL ME WHAT TO BELIEVE

      A guide for dealing with spirituality and the God thing in 12-Step Recovery with integrity

      by Patricia Reed, MSU

      Dedicated to the Wisdom of Bill W.

      This ebook is a revised version of Spiritual Meatloaf by Patricia Major,

      a book in print that is available at most online retailers

      Copyright 2013 by Patricia M. Reed

      Published at Smashwords by EM Riley Publications

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only and may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy.

      Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Table of Contents

      What AA Says About Its Religious Status

      Is This Book Worth Your Time?

      What's In This Book

      Chapter One: Your God, My God, or No God

      What's God Got to Do with It?

      The Reason for God in the Steps

      Spirituality vs. Religion - The Difference That Makes All the Difference

      The Bottom Line - The Least You Can Believe

      The Possibilities - Ideas about Higher Power from Others in Recovery

      The Turning Point - Where to Go from Here

      Chapter Two: Selecting What's True for You

      Roadblocks - Uncovering Obstacles, Confusion, and Misunderstanding

      Identifying Your Basic Beliefs

      Exercise 2-1: Questions About Your Beliefs

      Exercise 2-2: Watching for Clues

      Yesterday and Today - Identifying Stale Ideas and Old Favorites

      Exercise 2-3: Mining for What's True

      That Which You Seek - Identifying What's Spiritual

      Exercise 2-4: A Few More Questions

      Shortcuts - Jumping to Vague Conclusions

      Healthy Uncertainty

      Acceptance Without Gullibility

      Chapter Three: Creating Your Own Spirituality

      Perusing Existing Religions and Philosophies for Ideas

      Multiple Choice

      Mix and Match - Creating Your Own Spiritual Blend

      Exercise 3-1: Gathering the Pieces

      Exercise 3-2: Zeroing in on Your Overall Package

      Exercise 3-3: Naming and Claiming Your Personal Spirituality

      Applying Your Personal Spirituality to the Steps

      Exercise 3-4: Naming the Focal Point of Your Spiritual Recipe

      Exercise 3-5: Reading the Steps with New Eyes

      Chapter Four: When God Just Doesn't Fit

      Disbelief - Using the Steps as an Atheist Without Losing Integrity

      Exercise 4-1: Searching for the Words

      The Advantage of Agnosticism in Using the Steps

      Exercise 4-2: Using the Big Book

      Approaching Spirituality from Anger and Distrust

      Exercise 4-3: Accepting Anger

      Unique Beliefs - Working with a Sponsor Who Has a Different Spiritual Outlook

      Exercise 4-4: Sharing About Spirituality

      Chapter Five: Group Spirituality

      How Meetings Work - Who's Running the Program

      Group Conscience - The True Democracy

      Fear of Brainwashing - Keeping Your Individuality in Recovery

      Exercise 5-1: Participating in a Group

      Listening to Others - Take What You Like and Leave the Rest

      Exercise 5-2: Anthropological Expedition

      Keeping an Open Mind Without Losing the One You Have

      Exercise 5-3: A Closer Look at Open-Mindedness

      Chapter Six: The Steps

      Step One: We admitted we were powerless over alcohol - that our lives had become unmanageable.

      Step Two: Came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.

      Step Three: Made a decision to turn our will and our lives over to the care of God as we understood Him.

      Step Four: Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.

      Step Five: Admitted to God, to ourselves, and to another human being the exact nature of our wrongs.

      Step Six: Were entirely ready to have God remove all these defects of character.

      Step Seven: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

      Step Eight: Made a list of all persons we had harmed, and became willing to make amends to them all.

      Step Nine: Made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.

      Step Ten: Continued to take personal inventory, and when we wrong, promptly admitted it.

      Step Eleven: Sought through prayer and meditation to improve our conscious contact with God as we understood Him, praying only for the knowledge of His will for us and the power to carry that out.

      Step Twelve: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry this message to alcoholics and to practice these principles in all our affairs.

      Chapter Seven: Challenges Later in Recovery

      The Spiritual Crisis in Recovery - How to Survive

      Exercise 7-1: Act As If

      I Should Be Better - Fading Spirituality in Long-Term Recovery

      Exercise 7-2: Refreshing Your Spiritual Practice

      Dark Night of the Soul - Spiritual Pain

      Exercise 7-3: Active Surrendering

      A Final Word - Going Out From Here

      About The Author

      What AA Says About Its Religious Status

      Is AA a Religious Society?

      A.A. is not a religious society, since it requires no definite religious belief as a condition of membership. Although it has been endorsed and approved by many religious leaders, it is not allied with any organization or sect. Included in its membership are Catholics, Protestants, Jews, members of other major religious bodies, agnostics, and atheists.

      The A.A. program of recovery from alcoholism is undeniably based on acceptance of certain spiritual values. The individual member is free to interpret those values as he or she thinks best, or not to think about them at all.

      Most members, before turning to A.A., had already admitted that they could not control their drinking. Alcohol had become a power greater than themselves, and it had been accepted on those terms. A.A. suggests that to achieve and maintain sobriety, alcoholics need to accept and depend upon another Power recognized as greater than themselves. Some alcoholics choose to consider the A.A. group itself as the power greater than themselves; for many others, this Power is God - as they, individually, understand Him; still others rely upon entirely different concepts of a Higher Power.

      Some alcoholics, when they first turn to A.A., have definite reservations about accepting any concept of a Power greater than themselves. Experience shows that, if they will keep an open mind on the subject and keep coming to A.A. meetings, they are not likely to have too difficult a time in working out an acceptable solution to this distinctly personal problem.

      - from 44 Questions. Copyright 1952 by Works Publishing, Inc. (Now A.A. World Services, Inc.), taken from the Alcoholics Anonymous website: http://www.alcoholics-anonymous.org

      Is This Book Worth Your Time?

      If ANY of these questions strikes a chord, this book will open doors for you.

      - Do you wish you knew what you're expected to believe in recovery?

      - Are you opposed to the idea of God or religion?

      - Do you suspect the idea of God is a psychological crutch?

      - Do you feel angry with God or the clergy?

      - Do you worry about whether your beliefs will fit or be accepted?

      - Do you want to find a way to make sense of your beliefs?

      - Are you an atheist or agnostic?

      - Are you concerned about being brainwashed in a 12-Step program?

      - Are you worried about finding a sponsor who believes what you believe?

      - Have you been in recovery for a while, but feel disconnected from your Higher Power?

      - Do you think your ideas about God no longer fit you?

      - Do you wish to find a church to reinforce your faith, but don't know where to start?

      - Do you want to find or strengthen your inner connection or spirituality?

      - Do you desire a deeper experience of the Steps?

      Here's the simple truth: you do not need to believe in God to succeed in your recovery, but you need to come to terms with some kind of spirituality, even if it has nothing to do with religion or God.

      By applying honesty, open-mindedness, and willingness, you can reinvent not only your spirituality, but your entire outlook on life.

      We find that no one need have difficulty with the spirituality of the program. Willingness, honesty and open-mindedness are the essentials of recovery. But these are indispensable. - from Alcoholics Anonymous p 567, Fourth Edition.

      Even if you already have firm ideas about God and religion, combining your spirituality with Twelve Step recovery might be a challenge. This book can help with that, too.

      Whether your quest is brand new or ongoing, this book will guide you without making you change what you believe. Use it as a map to your own personal path.

      What's In This Book?

      Briefly: Each section starts with a brief version of what it includes, so you can decide whether you want to read it or skip it.

      Chapter One looks at what the Twelve Step programs really expect you to believe, and gives you the amazing loophole everyone uses for dealing with the God thing.

      Chapters Two and Three help you get

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