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    Dear Becky, Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law
    Dear Becky, Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law
    Dear Becky, Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law
    Ebook42 pages36 minutes

    Dear Becky, Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law

    By Kevin Guest

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    About this ebook

    In the world of Gertrude Charmaine Beasley, exists the soft-spoken, black-sheep daughter in law, Becky Beasley, married to the not-quite-celebrated son, Matthew. In order to shape Becky into the daughter-in-law she favors (Denise), Gertrude imparts her wisdom, suggestions, and thinly veiled insults through the passive-aggressive art form of letter writing...

    #17

    Dear Becky,
    I wanted to thank you for inviting me over to your quaint home for dinner. I can always tell the character of a person by the cleanness of their home. The carpet deodorizer did a lovely job of adding fragrance to the air and covered some of the burned smells coming from the kitchen. (Did you know you were supposed to vacuum after using the deodorizer, dear?)
    I also wanted to compliment you on your table decorations. I understand that you’re new to home ownership and gardening, so there was no way to know that the flower arrangement you picked was full of rag weed. The children’s repeated sneezing was not distracting at all.
    But, the main point of my letter was to get the recipe for your tomato sauce. I have never had a sauce with such a distinct flavor. I am usually known for my palette and ability to distinguish flavors, but your sauce has confused me. I could not detect any basil, garlic, onion, olive oil, pepper, or salt. So enlighten me, if you will. Other than tomatoes and water, what did you put in it?
    Well, again it was a joy coming over for dinner. I am glad to see that my son and his children, because of your cooking, are remaining fit. Yes, there is no evidence of your spoiling them in any way.

    Mom

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherKevin Guest
    Release dateOct 31, 2013
    ISBN9781310537202
    Dear Becky, Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law
    Author

    Kevin Guest

    Kevin M. Guest was born July 15, 1977. His passion for story telling often led him to day dreaming during school. In his off time he would spend hours writing short stories. In October you can find him working the barbeque booth at Reindeer Manor. He resides in Arlington, TX, with his lovely wife Tammi and their son, Chris.

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      Book preview

      Dear Becky, Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law - Kevin Guest

      Dear Becky,

      Unsolicited Comments of a Mother-In-Law

      Kevin Guest

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      * * * * *

      PUBLISHED BY:

      KMG Publishing

      Copyright © 2013

      All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

      This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, brands, media, and incidents are either the product of the author's imagination or are used fictitiously. The author acknowledges the trademarked status and trademark owners of various products referenced in this work of fiction, which have been used without permission. The publication/use of these trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

      #1

      Dear Becky,

      I wanted to extend an additional thank you for your attendance at my Tupperware party the other night. The hors d'oeuvres your brought were handsomely decorated, but please, if you are still worried over Jane, I am sure she is fine. I am confident that even though she is the only one who tasted your quaint little treats, her excessive vomiting has nothing to do with your…cooking style.

      It is always important to me that everyone has a wonderful time during one of my events. Everyone was dressed so fabulously. I must say your ensemble was the talk of the night. I always admire a woman who can simply get out of bed and throw on any old thing and make it her own. You should know that your choice of style did not escape the gossiping mouths of my inner circle. It’s great to know that my son picked such a unique person to bring into our family. Your presence last night is surely a reflection we won’t soon forget.

      Now there was one part of the night I missed, and I would love to be let in on the know! Amy was rehashing your advice on hair care. Now I missed most of the conversation, but since I see you most days, and you never speak of your hair, I am taking this opportunity to ask. Which store brand hair spray do you use?

      Well my dear, it was important for me to thank you for unique addition to the Tupperware party the other night. Oh, and I wanted to complement you on your child rearing. Your children were so polite! They were sure to visit with everyone…multiple times. Why, some were so preoccupied with, let’s say…occupying their attention- that they had very little time for much else. I have to say, this family would be a whole different dynamic without you.

      Mom

      P.S. The candlelight supper invitations had a misprint, the dinner is on

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