Failure Is Not The Final Chapter

4 Steps To Personal Growth Victory

Troy Clark, Ph.D.

Failure Is Not The Final Chapter ©

Copyright © 2013. All rights reserved. 1st Edition 2013.

Published by Dr. Troy Clark, Smashwords Edition.

ISBN 9781310435478

Writings contained herein are from the author unless otherwise stated. This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of the author.

Characters of stories in this book have been given fictitious names to protect their anonymity. All Scripture references are taken from the 1611 King James Holy Bible.

DISCLAIMER: The information provided by the author in this book does not guarantee satisfactory results for individuals and groups who may apply any information in this book to their life. All information provided is a suggestion, and may or may not be the best suggestion for personal growth and recovery scenarios described. Statistical data provided is current in 2013.

More publications by Dr. Troy Clark: (Paperback, Ebook, Audio book)

The Perfect Bible

How YOU Can MASTER Final Expense

8 Ways To Protect Children From Sexual Offenders

8 Ways Offenders Can Help Themselves

Email From God

Learn more at: www.TroyClark.net

Dedication

This book is lovingly dedicated to:

Jimmie and Karla Clark

Todd and Andrea Clark family

Uncles Joe, Johnny, Lamar, and their wives

Cousins: David, Del, Christy, Arianna, Newell, Allison, Dedra,

my extended Clark family

Thank you for all of your love and support

TABLE OF CONTENTS

Book Start

Dedication

Table of Contents

Introduction

Poem

Chapter 1

Chapter 2

Chapter 3

Chapter 4

Conclusion

Famous People Who Succeeded After Failure

Endnotes

Bibliography

Contact, More Publications

Introduction

Are you finished living your life?

Have you given up on your dreams? Ask yourself. Does the life I live fulfill the core of my being? Or, are you maintaining misery? Nothing is sadder than a person who is alive, yet not living.

Improving yourself improves your life.

No fluff here. Just hard core questions leading to reality check answers. Do you believe better days are ahead for you? Or, do you believe life is just one long series of getting kicked in the groin?

What do you live for? The moment? Adult responsibilities? Future possibilities? Do you ever ask yourself, Is there anything more?

Today was yesterday’s future. Meaning, you possess ultimate control over your destiny in a single choice today. What choice?

Choose to become a better you.

Improving yourself is the only way to improve your life. Why? Inner life and outer life are connected. When you stop trying to improve who you really are, an entire life slowly drifts away from the life you deserve to live. Without a radar of personal growth to compass true northerly direction, future success dims into the grey mist of a Despair Bermuda Triangle. Many lives get lost there.

Sailing forward as best we know how atop up-n-down waves of reality, our journey actually points us in a certain direction toward one truth – personal growth. No matter where your life is taking you, or not taking you, this is your anchor to success in a changing world. You can grow your way out of a dead life. Choose personal growth immediately.

This is why life tumbles us in-n-out of raucous cycles. Ready or not, here we go, I mean, grow!

Pursuing ambitions, we crash into abrupt changes. Disappointments mix with joy. Life schools us. We learn to lose to win. Best laid plans get torpedoed early, begging why questions for a purpose to it all. We pine, we despair, we even pay hard-earned money for self help answers in the hopes of living a happy life.

Time Magazine polled Americans on their level of happiness. Though 61% said they were happy in 2004, only 34% reported being very happy in 2006. In 2013, 59% responded that they are happy most of the time. Yet, fewer considered themselves optimists in 2013 (50%), than in 2004 (79%).¹

Most of us prefer sunshine to rain, greener pastures to a valley of mired hardship. For those not trading life’s harshness for a bullet to the brain, maturity lends perspective. If you had sunshine all the time, it would be a desert. And, doesn’t grass grow greenest in a valley?

In adulthood, we quickly realize noble aspirations are routinely checked by devastating detours, squared with disruptive hardships, souring visions of happiness to maybe one day. Success seems to further distance itself into a cruel mythical tale reserved only for a few.

In quest for life’s mountaintop, we blaze a trail to the nearest high, rather than cultivating organic personal growth at our lowest point. This is why real-world existence on planet Earth constantly cycles us through 4 steps to personal growth victory: potential to failure to recovery to success.

Warning: my definition of success may challenge yours. Conventional success in the United States is based on living an ideal American Dream. Dominance, power, fame, money, influence, it all comes at a cost. Rest assured, even wealthy people do not always live a rich nor happy life.

Whether poor, middle class, or affluent, if you are not getting what you want out of life, perhaps it is because what you currently want in life is not who you are. Here’s the bottom line:

The plight of your own existence has always been in YOUR CONTROL through the person you become. You always possess ultimate power over what your future looks like in the person you are, and the person you become.

If a happy life is meant for me, it is really up to my choice to become a better me, or not. Even God himself does not interfere with mankind’s free will to choose what he wants for himself. In all fairness, neither does God interfere with subsequent, natural law consequences.

We make our own bed, or leave it unkempt. Likewise, we can ultimately mold life. You only reap what you sow. In a single choice, your life can dramatically change for the better. And rest assured, the Almighty is prone to help those who help, or improve, themselves.

Greek philosopher, Socrates said, Know thyself. We think that we know who we are. Yet, unhealthy personal blind spots within lacking our attention, eventually materialize outward, into a crushing failure.

EVERYONE needs a second chance to find personal victory – a new success – validated by real growth from within. In this sense, success is not ALL about the upshot of money, fame, influence, or prestige. It’s only about the real you, because inner life and outward life stay connected. Truth is..

In life, you don’t get what you want. You get what you are. This means the life you are living right now directly connects to the person you have become at this point and time in your life. A better career, better relationships, better income, a better life means only one thing – a better you.

You want better, because you want to feel better about yourself, right?

Do you feel unsatisfied? So have I. Feel trapped? Been there. Get depressed? Yeah. Overwhelmed? I know what you mean. Feel cheated? Don’t get me started. Plagued by self doubt? Daily. Do you wake each morning to disappointment as your personal alarm clock? Here, here. Have you perhaps entertained thoughts of suicide? So have I. Guess what? Rich people have these feelings. Poor people have these feelings. Here’s why. They bind all of us to realize one critical truth.

The inside is the most important part of who you are. Moments of devastation occur in normal life to dispense one golden purpose - to reinvent a better me from the inside out. This is an ever-present connection to authentic richness.

Principled growth steps to a new me following my own real-world failure is what motivated this book. YOU can turn around any perceived defeat in your life to blessings of personal growth (real success) more than your life has ever known!

Winners value true growth opportunities during life’s worst moments. Train your focus there. Look for it.

Did you know that you can control your happiness by controlling your misery? Pain and unhappiness after any size loss yields to inner growth of your potential. What occurs on the inside of you is key. This is truly where the magic of success begins. So,

STOP giving your failures credit for making you weaker. START giving your failures credit for making you stronger.

This insightful book on personal growth success is not spirited by the I made loads of money, and so can you chatter. The truth found within these pages is spirited rather in, I learned from failure to regrow real success from the inside-out. So can you.

Troy Clark, Ph.D.

THE NEXT STEP ©

The next step you take

may be the one

that turns the corner

to success well done.

The next effort you make

may be the key

that unlocks the door

to your victory.

Disappointments come & go

in the course of life’s ebb-n-flow.

A better way is learned for sure

through failure we must endure.

While going through a darkest hour

weakness becomes your greatest power.

Realize here what you always knew.

Strength is gained, by not giving up on YOU.

A song, a memory, A Scripture,

lets us know we are not alone.

For others, too, have passed this way,

who overcame, to find prosperity their home.

Have you been knocked down again?

Alas! Nothing can crush your will to win.

Stepping stones are the mistakes we make

to the Winner’s Circle, all may partake.

See each day as a journey venture

into wonderlands of new adventure.

See life’s ups-n-downs from Point A to B

as a fun ride from here to rich destiny.

See the graveyard

as man’s final resting place.

See your time today

as precious, in this leg of life’s race.

Your greatest days are yet ahead,

so leave behind your fear & dread.

Fire up your desire! Increase your faith!

Mature your skill. It’s not too late!

The world awaits your special gift,

to share your joy; it’s spirit to uplift.

Become the best you. Don’t be a fake.

Success gets closer, the next step you take.

Troy Clark, Ph.D.

Chapter 1

Potential

po۰ten٠tial

14th Century, noun

1: existing in possibility

2a: something that can develop or become actual

b archaic : potens

3: PROMISE

Merriam-Webster’s Dictionary

11th Collegiate Version 3.0 ©

The will to win, the desire to succeed,

the urge to reach your full potential..

these are the keys that will unlock the door

to personal excellence.

Confucius

With realization of one’s own potential

and self confidence in one’s ability,

one can make a better world.

Dalai Lama

Everybody’s got the potential for

great good and great wrong in them,

but it’s the choices we make that

define who we really are.

Charles de Lint

Ineffective people live day after day

with unused potential.

Stephen R. Covey

Life is full of beauty.

Smell the rain, and feel the wind.

Live your life to the fullest potential,

and fight for your dreams.

Ashley Smith

Born Winner.

While phases of normal life take us through ups-n-downs, good-n-bad, backwards-then-forwards, potential never tires. Why?

You were born that way. You were born with potential. In fact, you are a born winner. Believe it.

The story of how an egg and sperm combine to create a human life confirms it. The secret lies in a sperm’s arduous journey to meet its counterpart egg. View a discreet demo video here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BFrVmDgh4v4.

YOU were one of 300 million sperm implanted into mother’s womb at the climax of your parent’s love life. Sorry. Try not to picture that. From here, a harrowing journey begins.

Millions die not long after, due to passing through an acidic environment, or lose their way, as a nation of sperm pass through a cervix into a uterus cavity. Thousands more die getting stuck in uterine mucus.

More perish in the journey when a potent immune system mistakes traveling sperm as enemy invaders. To and through the Fallopian tube, a few thousand more get trapped in tentacle-like bristles (cilia) and die.

Now, only a few dozen remain to encounter the outer layer-wall of the egg days later. Digestive enzymes dispense out of a membrane head of the sperm, puncturing a small hole through the outer layer. The first sperm to burrow through the outer layer and lay itself down on the egg’s membrane will fertilize the egg.

The outer membrane of the egg closes, releasing chemicals that kills all other sperm. 23 chromosomes of the egg, and 23 of the sperm, join together to form a (zygote) strand of DNA that determines your entire genetic makeup (gender, skin/hair color, IQ, etc.), finally attaching itself to the nutrient-rich uterine wall for 9 months, until birth.

YOU, my friend, WON! You out-savvied a nation of pin size peers. You fought. You mastered all obstacles. You prevailed. You were born - a Winner! Period.

Your first place finish secured your right to life ahead of as many hopeful contestants as there are citizens in the USA (330,000,000). Like it or not, abortion abruptly ends the potential of a proven winner. Yes, you were born to win.

Think back to any awards, or significant accomplishments, that you were recognized for. Remember how you felt? Inside, you felt alive. You felt naturally at home, happy, at peace with yourself. This is because you are most at home when you succeed. You were born to live in the joy of real growth. Fulfilling your potential to be a success is what you were born to do. It is who you are.

No matter what path your life is on right now, you have a natural ability to win, succeed, and live a happy life. Within you is growth potential. If where you are right now in your life feels unnatural, stuck, or in despair, rest assured personal growth victory can break that barrier. Aim at growth, one baby step forward at a time. This is winning. This is where you will feel most alive.

You always have potential to win. You CAN succeed within a purpose, a niche, a certain job in life that you were born to do. Your potential is unique to you. You can’t pretend to be someone else, or be somebody that you are not, to realize your full potential.

Be the natural winner you are. Winners grow success through the unfairness of life. How? Your potential. When you can’t control your life, you can control personal growth.

Drugstore Checkup.

A young boy entered a drugstore. He asked to use a phone for a local call. Upon the store clerk’s consent, the boy dialed up the grocery store located next door. He requested to speak with the manager. Do you have a bag boy? he inquired.

"Yes, we do" replied the manager. Are you happy with your bag boy? he inquired further, Does he do your store a good job? The manager responded, Yes. We are quite pleased with the performance that our bag boy gives to our place of business.

The boy smiled and thanked the manager for his time as he hung up the phone. The store clerk noticed that the phone call seemed to rejuvenate the boy. While whistling a happy tune walking out the door, the boy was stopped by the drugstore clerk who inquired into his cheer.

"I don’t understand. Why are you so happy and excited?" the clerk quizzed. A mischievous grin led to the answer, I am the bag boy at the grocery store next door. Sometimes I like to check up on myself.

Up to a challenge? Thinking you may not want to see yourself, or what your life looks like, as it reflects from a mirror of honesty? May I say that you can face what you need to face about yourself? Growth starts within areas of needed improvement inside the real you.

Oh yes, I will spend a considerable amount of energy in this book challenging the real you. It may seem uninviting for me to do so. I know. This is not meant to insult you, benevolent reader. However, I will only attempt to rouse your curiosity in meaningful ways of successful growth which I have specifically instituted within myself.

My desire is to personalize for you truths that a winning life represents, as a way for you to consider the health of your own lifestyle choices. I ask you to consider them for yourself, because every person struggles with areas of life that have gotten them off track. Every person has misreadings of their own reality. Clarity overcomes despair in discovering yourself for who you really are.

Potential, Failure, Recovery, and Success - life’s 4 steps to personal growth victory, applies in some way to every person.

Fear not. Allow yourself transparency as you check up on who you really have become in your life. Be brave. You can learn a ton of invaluable tips on genuine happiness if your mind stays clear of blaming others, and is open to new ways to think about yourself.

The reason firehouses have circular staircases comes from days of yore when fire engines were pulled by horses. The horses were stabled on the ground floor and listened to firemen on the floor above play cards, eat, and joke around. Curious horses figured out how to walk up straight stairs.

Circular staircases became the norm in fire departments based on information from a past culture. Sliding down a pole became a much quicker path to the bottom floor when firemen were in a rush to answer an alarm. Today firemen still slide down poles to quickly dispatch an alarm, and there is no need for circular staircases, although some have them.

Sometimes, what begins as a great idea, over time, gets outdated. It is a good idea to periodically check up on your design for success. If it is actually slowing down your life’s forward progress, as a circular staircase to firemen, there exists opportunity to learn better ways. Most great ideas eventually get outdated. The good thing is..

Your potential is always flexible. You may readjust, subtract unnecessary lifestyle choices, add updated goals, or simply train your focus to avoid circular staircases that represent old methods of living your life.

As you see yourself within these pages, checkup on what is not working. See this as growth, not as an insult to your intelligence. Ending a failure starts a new success. In keeping with your desire to live a happy life, self adjustment is the biggest unspoken secret for successful living.

What Makes Us Happy?

A noted study of lottery winners in 1978 published in the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology found the overall happiness levels of lottery winners spiked when they won, but returned to pre-winning levels after just a few months.

In terms of overall happiness, lottery winners were not significantly happier than non-winners who struggle financially.

Research by University of Illinois psychologist Edward Diener, a.k.a. Dr. Happiness, among others, has shown that once your basic needs are met, additional income does little to raise your sense of satisfaction with life.

So, what is a crux root source of happiness? A good education? Neither a higher education, nor a higher than average IQ, paves the road to happiness. National Centre for Vocational Education Research reported vocational training has a positive impact on happiness both during and after training, but university students get a one-way ticket to Miseryville upon graduation. Forget everything you've ever highlighted in a textbook or heard in a lecture hall.

While students flood open doors of college campuses, the job market is not so kind. In 2008, 18.6 million were enrolled with a 9% unemployment rate for graduates. In 2013, 17.4 million were enrolled with up to a 12.8% unemployment rate for graduates, according to a Georgetown University Center for Education and the Workforce study.

Youth equals happiness? Nope. A fountain of youth means perennial zits, eh? In fact, older people are patently more satisfied with their lives than a younger generation sucked into a search-n-explore phase of life. Youth are more prone to dark moods. A recent survey by the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention found that people ages 20 to 24 are sad for an average of 3.4 days a month, as opposed to just 2.3 days for people ages 65 to 74.

Marriage? Though comedians pull quirky material from their own marital chaos, it’s a complicated picture. Married people are known to be generally happier than singles, but that may be because they were happier to begin with. Mates are not usually attracted to one another thinking that being with another person is going to bring misery.

Sunny days? CNBC reported online in July 2013 that Hawaii is the most expensive state in the USA to live in. Cost of living is generally 50% higher than mainland USA. Per capita annual income is only $29K, according to a 2011 US Census Bureau. The weather is always great, though. You’ll get plenty of Vitamin D. As a non-resident, it can be quite stressful to move, then set up camp in Hawaii, without a great paying job. Least expensive state to reside in is Oklahoma, according to the CNBC report.

Children? Though children are typically the #1 answer to survey questions about an adult’s main source of happiness, other studies reveal a flip side. A team led by Nobel-prizewinning psychologist Daniel Kahneman of Princeton University, unveiled a new tool for sizing up happiness: a Day-Reconstruction Chart. Participants fill out a questionnaire diary detailing everything they did on the previous day. Details include whom they were with at the time and rating a seven-point scale range of feelings during each activity (happy, impatient, depressed, worried, tired).

Nine hundred women were tested in Texas with some surprising results. Turns out, top five most positive activities for these women were (in top-down order) sex, socializing, relaxing, praying or meditating, and eating. Exercising and watching TV were not far behind. But way down the list was taking care of my children, which ranked below cooking and only slightly above housework.

This is surprising, given that people frequently cite their children as their biggest source of delight.

Vacation? How