Nine Tales of the Cat

Nine Tales of the Cat

By

Harry S Sharp

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2013 Harry S Sharp

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Table of Contents

The First Tale: The Cat Moves In

The Second Tale: The Centenarian's Birthday Party

The Third Tale: The Cat Goes to College

The Fourth Tale: Demise of the Creepy Neighbor

The Fifth Tale: A Kidnapper Makes a Serious Mistake

The Sixth Tale: The Cat Closes a Drug Dealer

The Seventh Tale: A Nasty Dog Attacks the Wrong Cat

The Eighth Tale: A Rude Man has a Bad Day

The Ninth Tale: Cat Enjoys Summerfest with Friends

Dedicated to an extraordinary friend who entered the life of our family, took over and changed us for the better. Her work continues.

The First Tale: The Cat Moves In

My encounter with Cat began some years ago. I suppose domination by Cat would be more accurate. She has a name but soon came to be known simply as The Cat or just Cat, a name to which she answers. She comes whenever one of us calls Cat, or at least pays attention to what we are saying and decides if she will honor a polite request to come.

She came into our family's life while our son, Roger, was in college. She was young, barely more than a kitten, wet, hungry, bedraggled and cold. She encountered him in the alley near his house and invited herself in. She politely accepted a dish of warm milk and a bite to eat and agreed to spend the night, curling up in the living room. The next morning after having breakfast, looking around and talking with Roger, she decided she could make something of him and said she would stay, but only for a few days. After assessing the situation for a couple of days she realized that civilizing this kid was going to be a longer term project than she had first thought and extended her stay indefinitely. She almost immediately took over his life, becoming indispensable. She was outgoing, chatty, made friends fast and soon had a network. She would walk him to his classes, pick him up after class and walk him home.

The Old Man, as I choose to call him, has it wrong or at least distorted, which does not surprise me. I prefer is say I was in transition! Alley, indeed! It was a convenient shortcut for me. .He makes it sound bad! I was between gigs and the weather was miserable so I was taking a shortcut. Of course I looked a bit bedraggled because it was pouring rain.

The kid seemed nice enough and it was continuing to rain so I agreed to come in and share a bowl of milk with him. He was also bit bedraggled and needed some feminine attention so I thought maybe I could spend a few days and straighten him out. I had no intention of staying more than a few days. I didn't realize immediately how much work he needed and how much continuing attention I would need to give him to raise him to my level of civilized and comfortable living standards.

People have no sense of direction. I actually had to walk him to class so he wouldn't get lost, then meet him and walk him home! Incredible! And his housekeeping! He obviously needed a firm paw and some feminine feline guidance. What I thought was going to be a few days of putting him on the right path has turned into my life's project! It seemed that if I turned away for even a minute he would slide backward. Well, we all (except me) make mistakes. He simply was unable to retain my lessons and example of proper behavior and lifestyle. It has been a struggle.

But we bonded and I have devoted myself to his care and upbringing. We have had our ups and downs but basically he has improved, particularly learning my housekeeping and culinary standards. I am still not sure how much one can really expect a male human to be able to learn and retain. I am afraid if I lift my paw even a little, he will backslide to where he was when I found him.

Roger and I had our tiffs. He went too far trying to control and train me so I took off for a few days and he panicked. He thought I was lost or stolen and was gone forever. He had become so dependent that he was incapable of living without me. Well, I felt sorry for him and when I saw one of Roger's friends I bummed a ride back. I must say that he was very chastened and sorry for his intemperate words and actions. I think he learned a good lesson about who was in charge and how he couldn't live without my direction.

Roger's family came occasionally for a visit. I was quite nervous about meeting Roger's parents for the first time. I had quickly established some basic living standards and rules for his roommates and friends, but I kept thinking if this is how he was, what must his parents be like? I shuddered.

When we visited Roger, of course, she looked us over, conducted a brief interview (mainly with his mother, Big Mama as Cat thought of her) and indicated she thought we were okay and we could work out a memorandum of understanding about who would do what in our son's life. It gave us a sense of security knowing that she was in control, taking care of our son and essentially running his life. She was a very competent cat, if a little on the demanding side.

Roger's parents were okay. They seemed to be trainable. I bonded well with his mother' partly due to the compassion I felt for her having to put up with both Roger and his father. Poor woman was obviously overwhelmed.

Well of course they felt secure with me entering their son's life. I was in charge, although I could have used a bit of help and support. It was like they just dumped him on me! In the face of their failure I had to take over. Nice kid, but he needed a decent upbringing and as I say firm feminine feline direction. The kid's mother, Big Mama I call her, being female, recognized that I would have a firm paw and bring organization into his life. The feminine touch, firm yet gentle with just a hint of claw!

I didn't realize at the time I was taking on responsibility for the entire family. A few months later Roger and I moved in with his folks. I had to take over, organize and run the whole house. When you first get into a relationship you just never know where it will lead. A chance encounter led me to having to run the whole family, design and supervise a house renovation and organize their neighborhood to make it a safe place to live.

After commencement from college, while looking for a permanent job our son stayed with us for a while. So Cat looked over our home, basically suggested it was livable with a bit of renovation. She moved in and promptly took over. She liked multiple water dishes with fresh cool water and she liked them kept filled. She like her food dish, meant only for between meal snacks, to be kept full. And most importantly, she appreciated a private commode.

Can you believe they initially wanted to put me up in the garage!!! Well, I took care of that nonsense. Nice house, smallish, needed some work and they obviously had no idea how the upper crust live. I quickly relieved them of their silly rule nonsense. If rules were needed, I would set them. After all they needed to adjust themselves to my higher standard of living and civility. It was going to be hard to elevate their lifestyle, but with my example and firm paw, I thought we could make rapid improvement.

The house needed some changes, modernization and expansion. So I needed to give them some gentle guidance about remodeling. Short term I made the place at least livable and helped them develop plans for the necessary improvements. They were very slow about making decisions and doing things. I had to keep pushing.

It was obvious Big Mama also needed some help and support in keeping the Old Man organized. He needed managing when she wasn't around. If not properly supervised he would sit around reading all day, unshaven, in grubby clothes and accomplish nothing. He called it being retired! I brought some effective supervision and standards. He was expected to cleanup and spend the day working around the house. No more sitting around reading and accomplishing nothing. If it was raining he could spend his time cleaning house.

I improved their lives with my high standards of organization and effective supervision. Mangers like me don't come along very often. I was born to manage a large organization!

Roger found a couple part time jobs so he was gone most days like Big Mama, leaving me to confront the ever domineering Cat alone. In the evenings Roger was spending time with people he met and even found a girlfriend. We didn't see much of Roger during the week. When the weather was good he liked to spend whatever time off he had going hiking or camping. When I needed help I usually scheduled him in advance, although he was pretty good about just doing things whenever he was home.

Cat treated Roger entirely differently than she treated us. Big Mama was the boss and Cat deferred to her. Roger was her child and could do no wrong. I thought Roger having gone through college was grown up and should be treated accordingly. Cat's rules did not apply to him. She would not tolerate any criticism of Roger. If she thought he was out of line it was between her and Big Mama to decide how to curb him as they shared responsibility. I was merely his father and the general servant, the bottom of the pecking order.

The Old Man as usual has reality somewhat distorted. The intelligent reader is aware that children need guidance and a good example to follow. Big Mama and I understood but obviously the Old Man could not grasp the ideas of proper child rearing and that to a mother, a child is never grown up.

We had a few general common sense rules for our house that we expected everyone to follow. Our first rule was no cats on the beds. She liked to sleep close to us and if the house got cold overnight she preferred under the blankets. So that rule was immediately ignored or more accurately totally eliminated as the Cat slept where she chose. A second rule was that cats eat in the utility room. Well, since she liked her food and water on the hearth that rule changed, anyway it was intended for ordinary cats, not her. She preferred to eat with us and share adult conversation with dinner. Of course, eating with us included breakfast, lunch, dinner and our nightly bedtime snack. When our son complained that she was becoming spoiled and wasn't supposed to eat at the table, she very gracefully ignored him. Apparently she didn't hear his criticism or maybe she just preferred not to listen to children's ramblings. Our rule about not having toys lying all about had no chance. We gave up trying to keep them picked up and kept in the toy basket when not in use.

The very idea that she stay away from guests was ridiculous when, of course they mainly came to see her. We were allowed to help entertain and perhaps even learn from her example. It was made clear that I should be grateful to be invited to her soirees' and should be a little faster with the refreshments.

I would like to say our life changed, as if we had a choice. We didn't. She had her way of doing things and we learned we could give in easily and accommodate or be bent by her steel will. We learned that Cat set the rules, not my wife and I and furthermore, we should not expect a vote or even to be consulted. I felt fortunate that she allowed me to live with her.

They needed to be taught the importance of mealtimes for enjoying each other's company and conversation. We needed to be together and share our activities and thoughts as a family whenever possible. I always tried to lead the conversation and keep it at a sophisticated and elevated level.

At least the Old Man had one thing right. Of course he was fortunate that I agreed to live-in and add a little class to the place. I must say though that their manners needed substantial work. They actually did not include me in their dinner plans. They would sit and eat in my presence with me just sitting there. They even suggested I would go and eat my dinner where my food was in a dish on the hearth. I had to teach them about entertaining; how