Oh Lawd

Chapter 1 Pa’s Poker Winnings

Oh Lawd, was something my maw would say when things went wrong, or when words would escape her for the moment, which was pretty often around our home place.

She named me Robert after Robert E Lee who was one of her favorite historic persons. Mom was a country gal who married young. My Pa was a good man who was quite fond of her, and treated her good by the Bayou standards.

We weren't natives of the Bayou, but our family had been settled just north of it in Tupelo Mississippi for over a hundred years. Leaving there was a questionable act for us since we had kin folks up to sixth cousins who were still there.

The way all this came about was Pa had to go to Gulfport on some business, and while he was there he got into a poker game. After two days of continuous playing, Pa had won a dock, restaurant, and several boats with a rental and repair business.

Everybody was worn out after playing for 48 hours straight, but as the former owner signed over the papers he threaten Pa with great bodily harm.

While Pa wasn't a fearful man, he was cautious, and went down and bought a shot gun which he quickly sawed off the barrel. He also felt the need for a pistol that was powerful enough to shoot through walls. As it (thankfully) turned out it was just frustration over losing his goods that provoked the man to talk like that.

After about a week, we got a letter from Pa explaining that he wouldn't be home for a couple of weeks, and he would give us all the details later.

Ma thought he might have got hooked up with some Cajun woman, and that was the reason he didn't come home. As it turned out it was three weeks before he made it back. When he arrived he said, Go get packed for we are leaving tomorrow for Gulfport, and will be living there from now on.

For the next half hour we asked questions and he patiently answered them all. Pa had brought a truck to haul our stuff or at least the things that was worth keeping, and we were loaded up except for the mattresses and bedding. We left the next morning and headed to Gulfport.

About six hours later we pulled into the driveway of a house we now owned. I had never been in a house as big as this one, not that it was so big it was just we had always lived in a small four room house.

My sister Marcellus (Marly) and I rushed up stairs to pick out a bedroom for ourselves and couldn't believe there was more than one bathroom. Pa had waited until school was out before coming to get us, so we had the summer ahead of us to get acquainted with the neighbors.

The next day Ma and Pa went down to the dock and he introduced her to all the hands who worked for them. This was all new to Ma for she had never hired anyone except one of the local girls to help with the washing and ironing.

Marly and I decided to go down to the schoolhouse to look it over. The school was bigger than the one we attended in Tupelo and it had a large playground. We talked to a couple of teachers that happened to be there, and told them we would be going there next semester.

When we got home Ma and Pa were still down at the dock so we went down there to look it over, and the first thing that stood out was the restaurant. We saw our folks and asked if we could eat at the restaurant, and they said, Yes any time we wanted to.

We went in and ordered something called Jambalaya Cajun style for the waitress said it was something like stew. After a couple of bites I thought it was going to take the enamel off my teeth because it was so hot.

I noticed that Marly was eating her food without any trouble and wondered how she could do it. I asked the waitress if everything was this hot and she smiled and said, Pretty much. I told her if that was the case I wouldn't be eating there very often. She laughed and told me that the cook was just playing a trick on me, and had loaded my plate up with hot pepper.

She then brought me something I could eat, and a couple of glasses of water.

Oh Lawd!

Chapter 2– Moving to Gulfport

The first few days are strange when you move to a new area. Many times the people are just a little different and such was the case in Gulfport.

Each day Marly and I were given some chores to do, but then after we finished we would walk around town getting acquainted with the local people.

As people got used to seeing us, they became friendlier. When people would come to the restaurant or the pier and greet us our parents would want to know how we knew them.

Ma hired a gal to help take care of the house for she was busy at the restaurant. There were three cooks plus Ma that did the cooking and the one I liked the most was Noonan.

Every day he would tell a new story about his adventures. It wasn't long before I realized he was lying about his mighty exploits, but I was enthralled by them and couldn't get enough.

He tells of the time he was shipwrecked and he was the only survivor. As the ship went down in the storm he managed to get in the only life boat that wasn't damaged by the waves. He floated for days and was almost gone when he came to an island.

He would stop there and start to do something else knowing we would start begging him to go on. He seemed to enjoy teasing us like that but then he would continue.

With what little strength I had left I managed to crawl to a fresh water pool and get some water. This refreshed me enough to break open a coconut and eat the insides. After a couple of days I had returned to normal.

He told us that he began to explore the island and came upon a tribe of natives who immediately captured him and tied him to a tree.

After being tied to the tree for a few hours there were some women who came over to him and stripped him of his clothing.

About this time Noonan would get a smirk on his face for he knew we were all ears wanting to know what happened next after he was stripped naked.

He continued, some of the old women whacked him with some palm branches which hurt, but he wouldn't grimace for he didn't want them to think he was a weakling.

Several of the young women just stood and looked at him. A couple of them came up and poked him in the ribs and pulled at his beard he had grown during the voyage.

He let out a yelp and growled like a dog which scared them away and they didn't do that again. After some time one of the girls brought him some water which he drank for he was thirsty from the heat.

He said, Then something happened that I shouldn't tell you about - -, to which we said, You tell us right now for that isn't fair to leave something out. He said, Okay but remember, I warned you.

Our hearts started beating at a fast rate, and our mouths were dry, then he said, "Now you know I had been tied up for several hours so when I drank that water it was more than I could retain, and I couldn’t help it but I had to pee right there in front of the girl who gave me the water.

I was so embarrassed but I was beside myself with pain.

She just stared at me and looked at me and after I had finished, then she came closer - - and now I have to get back to work."

We begged him to tell us what she did, but he wouldn't relent and said, Maybe we can pick it up from there some other time, but for now I must get back to work.

We hated him for that, but agreed for we didn't want to miss the rest of the story.

Oh Lawd!

Chapter 3 Noonan the Story Teller

The next day Marly and I headed down to the pier and the restaurant for we wanted to hear the rest of the story Noonan was telling us.

As soon as Pa saw us he told us to do our chores, and today he gave us more things to do than usual.

We worked extra hard to get them done so we could collar Noonan and get him to finish the story. We found Noonan behind the restaurant where he was scrubbing the pots and pans he used for cooking.

Breakfast was over and he had to get ready for lunch. We lit into him and said finish the story Noonan. He kinda looked away and said, What story?

The one about when you were shipwrecked, we replied.

He said, Oh yea, that one. I just don't have time to finish it because I have all these pots to clean.

We quickly answered, We will clean them while you tell the story, to which he answered, Well alright if you want to clean them.

We started to scrub the kitchen ware and he took out his pipe, filled it and began suck in the smoke as he lit it. Now let me see, he started, Where was I. We both shouted, You was naked and the girl watched you pee and then she came closer to you.

Oh yes, now I remember. This brown skin girl named Le-Lu came up to me and wrapped a thing like a towel around me covering me up which made me feel much better for I wasn't used to being naked around a lot of people.

Some of the women came back and wanted to remove my covering but Le-Lu wouldn't let them. They got into a big argument and after a while they all left.

It seems LE-Lu was a princess and they had to obey her commands.

As it turned out she had claimed me for her own and the other women had to leave me alone.

It was some time later I found out what the argument was all about. It seems all the women wanted me, even the old fat ones.

The men of the island didn't have much hair on their body and here I was with a hairy chest and a beard and mustache. I even had hairy legs and that was what