Carefronting People to Christ

CAREFRONTING PEOPLE TO CHRIST

His Approach Still Works

Copyright 2013 by Tim Patrick

Smashwords Edition

Published by:

Tim Patrick

709 S. Texas St.

DeRidder, LA 70634

timpatrick@bellsouth.net

Cover design:

Julian Quebedeaux

150 Quebedeaux Road

DeRidder, LA 70634

Thaninja101@gmail.com

Edited by:

Kathy Eddy

P.O. Box 1237

Fairhope, AL 36533

eddycommunications@gmail.com

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced or

transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording or by any informational storage and retrieval system without written permission from the author, except for the inclusion of brief quotations in a review.

Unless otherwise indicated, Scripture quotations are from the New King James Version®, Copyright © 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Acknowledgments

A number of people have influenced my development of this book. At the top of my list is always my wife, Judy. Judy has been a supporter and challenger in every aspect of ministry. On one of our first dates she earned my respect as she divulged her calling to be a pastor’s wife. Her sense of calling was as strong if not stronger than my calling to ministry. The completion of this book spanned a ten year time period. Due to other demands I pushed the completion of it down my list of priorities. Judy continually encouraged me to complete the manuscript. She has been a true help-mate to me in service to Jesus Christ over a period of three decades of ministry.

Special thanks to Dr. Joe McKeever who drew the shepherd/sheep picture on the front cover. When I saw Dr. McKeever’s drawing I knew it portrayed what I wanted to say in the book.

Special thanks to Kathy Eddy of Eddy Communications for her patience in editing. Thanks to my dear friend Polley Renshaw, a retired school teacher, who offered the careful eyes of a school teacher. Also, thanks to my daughter-in-law, Erica, who provided a last minute read through, the careful nature of an engineer and the unique view of the younger generation.

Thanks to Curt Iles, a Christian writer, friend, missionary and coworker in the gospel, for his encouragement, ideas and information. Curt directed me to Julian Quebedeaux, who designed the cover for the book. Thanks to Julian Quebedeaux for being patient with a novice.

Dedication

I dedicate this book to my dad, Hughes Patrick, who is one of the characters in the book. My father died in 2007 after a lengthy illness. Dad, like all of us, was not a perfect man.

However, I am indebted to my father for the lessons referenced in this book. He was unaware of the contributions he made to my life as referenced in Carefronting People to Christ. As a boy, I spent untold hours riding with him in his propane delivery truck. The observations I made contributed to the methodology I share.

My father subconsciously shared many other valuable lessons that shaped me into the person I am today. Foremost of these was my spiritual heritage. I remember him and my mother, Joyce, sharing the importance of a personal relationship with Jesus Christ. I remember our family sharing a family altar time in the early years of my life. He and my mother encouraged and stood behind me when I felt God’s calling into the gospel

ministry. My mother continues this heritage.

In addition, he encouraged me in everything I undertook, taught me a strong work ethic, to stick with a job, to love my wife and family, to have compassion for hurting people and to love and support my pastor. These ideas represent why I dedicate this book to my dad.

Contents

Introduction...........................................................................7

1. Meet Cliff......................................................................11

2. The Shepherd Approach Worked for Me.....................17

3. The Shepherd Approach Will Work for You.................27

4. A Defining Moment......................................................39

5. Carefronting or Confronting? Approach Matters........49

6. It Starts with a Relationship........................................61

7. Earning the Right to be Heard (Part I).........................75

8. Earning the Right to be Heard (Part II)........................95

9. Why Love is So Important..........................................113

10. Know Where You are Going.......................................121

11. The Shepherd Goes After Lost Sheep…..………………...129

Endnote…………………….……….……………………....……………......136

Introduction

The picture on the front of the book offers an intriguing scene. There are two characters portrayed, very opposite but they belong together. If you see one you expect to see the other. There is what appears to be a wandering sheep. There is a concerned shepherd. The scene raises some interesting questions. Why is the sheep in this predicament? He is alone rather than with a flock. He is standing on rocks at the edge of a cliff. Has he wandered away from the flock? What is his next move?

What about the shepherd? What is he thinking? What is his next move? What will be the outcome? The sheep appears to be in danger! A fall from a cliff would probably prove fatal! The scene is not without hope. A concerned shepherd gives light to a dark scene. He knows the danger facing the wayward sheep. The shepherd knows a wrong move could prove fatal. The next move is crucial. The shepherd’s approach is vitally important. If the shepherd is overly aggressive he might drive the sheep over the edge or hinder his efforts to retrieve him. If he is passive he would leave the sheep in the jaws of death. The shepherd needs to make a move. To withdraw into indifference would violate his nature as a shepherd and endanger the sheep. What is the best approach?

Several years ago I was introduced to a word that offers a solution to the stalemate. The word is Carefronting.¹ The word will be discussed further in Chapter 5, but for now I give a brief explanation of this intriguing word you find in the book’s title. Carefronting offers what I believe to be a healthy solution to bring the story to a happy ending. The shepherd needs to show concern. He needs to care. The shepherd needs to be aggressive. He needs to confront. He dare not retreat! Carefronting offers a healthy blend of compassion, concern and aggressiveness.

Followers of Jesus Christ face a similar dilemma. What is the best approach in ministering and sharing our faith in Jesus? Dare we retreat and be paralyzed by indifference. None of us desire to be accused of the don’t care attitude. We are aware of Christ’s great commission passed down to His disciples. We are aware that believers are commanded to share the Good News of Jesus Christ and minister in His name. Any believer, who has tried to share a word of faith or act of ministry, knows the tension of such action. This tension comes from different sources. Sometimes it comes from our spiritual enemy, Satan. Sometimes it comes from the insecurity of our hearts. Other times it is a combination of sources. Regardless, uncertainty (as with the shepherd) is a major barrier. Our approach has a bearing on our performance and the eventual outcome of what we do.

Carefronting is a fresh and blended approach to ministry. It combines the heart of the shepherd with that of the evangelist. I believe this approach is a comfortable fit for most people. It has been estimated that only about 10 percent of believers have the spiritual gift of evangelism.² A person with the gift of evangelism typically does well with the direct or confrontational approach. Not so with the other 90 percent. The 90 percent struggle against insecurity, doubts and self-condemnation. I know because I am one of the 90 percent. Do the 90 percent withdraw or is there a better way? Keep reading!

This book shares an approach to ministry. The approach was developed from the unlikely intersection of three unlikely characters. The three characters: a first-century shepherd, a home delivery propane truck driver and a pastor share a common approach. The approach represents an exciting and refreshing approach to Christian ministry.

As a boy I began the journey of discovering this approach. My father was the driver of a home delivery propane truck. If you did not grow up in a rural area, let me explain. Many people in rural areas have a steel fuel tank sitting on their property. In these areas, they do not have natural gas supplied by a utility or other form of fuel delivery system. Therefore, it is necessary for someone to deliver fuel (propane or butane) to homes. My father had such a job. He was a superb salesman, effective service man and an excellent public relations person in fulfilling his role. When he first began this job, the company for which he worked had 350-400 accounts. After seven or eight years, the company had to hire another driver because of growth. At one point my father served approximately 800 homes scattered over approximately 150 square miles.

As a boy, I rode with my father and witnessed his work and his methods. Little did I know that God was formulating a method of ministry that I now put on paper. It has been observed that all knowledge is useful. That was certainly the case with my childhood observations at the feet of my father. When the Lord called me to pastor I drew from my experiences to formulate a plan for ministry. My initial ministry as a pastor was based on personal experience more than training or Biblical guidelines. The first several churches I served were rural churches. I put into practice many of the principles learned while observing my father. I visited my flock somewhat as my father visited his customers (regularly, intentionally, systematically and knowingly). You can see how the truck driver and pastor are connected.

What