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    The First Humor Being: "In the Beginning, There Was a Wild and Crazy Tale..."
    The First Humor Being: "In the Beginning, There Was a Wild and Crazy Tale..."
    The First Humor Being: "In the Beginning, There Was a Wild and Crazy Tale..."
    Ebook70 pages52 minutes

    The First Humor Being: "In the Beginning, There Was a Wild and Crazy Tale..."

    By Bjarne O.

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    About this ebook

    God's first attempt to create a human being – Valdi, not Adam - leads to an illuminating and comical journey. Even though God's blessed him with some knowledge of the distant future, Valdi is very unhappy with the way he was created – and he demands that God do something to make him feel better. As it turns out, God confesses that He's also unhappy about something...

    A crazy comic love drama for young people of all ages

    Coming Soon: THE STUDENT TAMER
    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherBookBaby
    Release dateJan 9, 2014
    ISBN9788799603503
    The First Humor Being: "In the Beginning, There Was a Wild and Crazy Tale..."

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      Book preview

      The First Humor Being - Bjarne O.

      Tamer

      Chapter One

      Where we begin our story: In complete and total darkness. Then suddenly, that darkness is slashed by flashing bolts of light…and a figure lying prone can just barely be glimpsed. This riot of light repeats itself a few times after which an enormous thunderclap resounds.

      And now everywhere there’s bright light, for a moment so bright that it’s almost blinding…which is when the figure sits halfway up. Apparently somewhat confused, it keeps looking around overhead.

      It’s Valdi, a boyish man with a shock of big hair, two melancholy eyes and large, protruding front teeth. He’s wearing knickers, ranger rubber boots and a black leather jacket that’s much too big for him: God’s first attempt to create ‘man.’ It grows dark again. And the peals of thunder and flashes of light become more and more intense. All at once, a very deep solemn voice is heard from above.

      First let there be light, and then - The voice hesitates when Valdi shouts angrily.

      Stop! Stop! Now enough is enough…! There’s another flash of light as he gets to his feet. I’m not going to put up with being ignored anymore. It’s bad enough you created me with this goofy-looking appearance.

      God is caught off guard – and irritated, too. Come again…? What…? For a moment God’s voice gets lost in a series of small thunderous coughs as a confusion of bolts begin to blink. Then the thunder stops completely. The blinking ends as well leaving everything bathed in a dusky light.

      Valdi sighs. Don’t tell me you’ve forgotten about me already…? Your very first human being! Then you probably also forgot the promise you made me?

      Valdi…? Is that you, Valdi?

      Splendid! The Mighty Lord can still remember my name! Valdi doesn’t seemed too worried about provoking God’s wrath.

      Listen, young man. That’s no way to speak to your God.

      How, then? What, you want me to say ‘Sir’ and do knee bends?

      Hmm…you know very well what I mean.

      Honestly, I don’t. And what’s the use of all that noise and fireworks? It’s impossible to gather your thoughts down here. And that voice? Do you really have to talk like Darth Vader?

      I am God, human.

      Well, I’d try cough drops and a steam bath. Works wonders.

      But, that’s the way a God speaks nowadays. It’s not a voice for ordering ‘two hotdogs.’ I’m creating the world! Imagine me doing that in a falsetto voice. No one would take me seriously. A monumental plan requires a monumental voice!

      It’s an awful plan.

      But you don’t know anything about it.

      No, but thanks to your light show I know what I look like. A plan that creates an eyesore like me is a godawful plan. And a God that doesn’t keep his promises is a stupid turd.

      Spare me! Really, what language, what language!

      It’s been a whole week since you promised me somebody to talk to. Where are we if we can’t even trust you?

      God’s patience is wearing thin. Of course I keep my promises. But do you mind if I just create some light, first?

      What’s so important about this light?

      It’s the first step of my plan…

      That’s what I’m trying to tell you, it’s a bad plan. What do I need light for? I need somebody to talk to - before I turn weird from all this solitude. There’s a limit to how long you can stand talking to yourself.

      God is now clearly irritated. Alright, alright. You’ll get someone to talk to, Valdi. But kindly allow me to create light first. Light’s important…think of the possibilities. It’d be kind of nice to see the person you’re talking to, now wouldn’t it?

      Do as you please. You’re the one in charge.

      God is now a bit sarcastic. Thanks. It pleases me to hear that - Valdi overlaps. You won’t make that light too bright, will you?

      Annoyed, God takes a very deep breath. No…no, don’t worry.

      Chapter Two

      A mighty peal of thunder resounds, after which a wondrous formation of light is suddenly produced from above accompanied by God’s booming, ceremonious voice.

      First let there be light, and then someone to talk to!

      The light flickers for a moment. Then it steadies, and Valdi’s surroundings are now clearly visible. A P-sign in the background shows that Valdi’s

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