Cousin Toby and the Preacher and Other Stories
By Don A. Hoyt
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About this ebook
Don A. Hoyt's collection of "flash fiction" stories captures the same mysterious and funny personality quirks as the Robertson clan of "Duck Dynasty" fame. In fact, Hoyt wrote these stories in the late 1970s while both he and Phil Robertson worked as Corps of Engineers Park Rangers, patroling Corps parks up and down the Ouachita River. These are not real people, of course; but any fan of the "Duck Dynasty" reality show will recognize the same cultural milieu, the same quirky thought patterns, and the same underlying social values. There's something wholesome about how these people defy convention while being somehow totally conventional.
Unlike longer stories or novels, "Flash fiction" should be read slowly like poetry; and, similarly, it often needs to be read several tmes in order to extract it's full depth of meaning. That doesn't mean it should be studied like literary homework. Just don't be too quick to move on to the next one.
Don A. Hoyt
Don A. Hoyt grew up in New Orleans in a single parent home, residing mostly in public housing projects. He dropped out of high school to serve 4 years in the US Navy and later went on to earn a B.A. in English (1973) and two Master's degrees: Education (1977) and Public Adminisrtration (2004).Hoyt's career in education (Wossman HS, Grambling State University, Louisiana Delta Community College, and Downsville Charter School Board) spanned 17 years. His career in Public Administration (local agency Assistant Director, city Planning and Development Director, County Administrator, and City Manager) spanned 24 years. While working at GSU, he managed a consulting business, Hired Hand Outsourcing, which served municipal clients across Louisiana to adopt Comprehensive Plans and development ordinances. Hoyt officially retired in 2013 from his position as the City Manager (Chief Administrative Officer) of the City of Anniston, Alabama, population 25,000; however, since 2016 he has taught one or two Composition classes at LDCC.Over the years Hoyt has published numerous poems, short stories, and literary essays across the country. The following 40 academic presses have published Hoyt's works of fiction, poetry, and/or literary commentary.Providence College, Providence, RINorthern Illinois University, Chicago, ILCalifornia State University Northridge, Northridge, ILUniversity of Alabama at Birmingham, Birmingham, ALRoger Williams College, Bristol, RIEastern Kentucky University, Richmond, KYAngelo State University, San Angelo, TXUniversity of Mississippi (Ole Miss), University, MSDeKalb College, Clarkston, GAUniversity of Iowa, Iowa City, IOUniversity of Central Florida, Orlando, FLUniversity of Houston, Houston, TXSalem State College, Salem, MALenoir-Rhyne College, Hickory, NCPiedmont College, Demorest, GANortheast Louisiana University, Monroe, LABerea College, Richmond, KYKansas State University, Manhattan, KSIdaho State University, Pocatello, IDNichols State University, Thibodaux, LALouisiana State University at Eunice, Eunice, LACalifornia State University at Long BeachWright State University, Dayton, OHUniversity of North Dakota, Grand Forks, NDCalifornia State University, San BernardinoUniversity of Pennsylvania, Philadelphia, PACollege of the Mainland, Texas City, TXStephen F. Austin University, Nacogdoches, TXSan Jose State University, San Jose, CARoanoke College, Salem, VASierra Nevada College, Incline Village, NVPikeville College, Pikeville, KYCleveland State University, Cleveland, OHUniversity of Wisconsin at Oshkosh, Oshkosh, WIUniversity of Wisconsin at Milwaukee, Milwaukee, WISchoolcraft College, Livonia, MIGrambling State University, Grambling, LAKent University, Canterbury, Kent, UKFranklin College, Lugano, Switzerland
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Cousin Toby and the Preacher and Other Stories - Don A. Hoyt
COUSIN TOBY AND THE PREACHER
AND OTHER STORIES
11 Very short
Stories set in rural west Ouachita Parish, Louisiana
by
Don A. Hoyt
Acknowledgements
Grateful acknowledgement is made to the following periodicals in which the stories indicated previously appeared.
Abija McGrew and the Big Buck
in Breakthrough (VI:2). J. Alvin Speers, Ed.; 204 Millbank Dr., SW, Calgary, AB, Canada T2Y 2H9 ©1990 Aardvark Enterprises (rights reverted to author).
God and the Gar Hunter
in The MacGuffin. Arthur Lindenburg, Ed.; ©1998 Schoolcraft College, 18600 Haggerty Rd., Livonia, MI 48152 (rights reverted to author).
TABLE OF CONTENTS
Cousin Toby and the Preacher
Billie Moran the Horse Dealer
Death of a Bob-tailed Coon
Dutch Bienvenue the Moss Ginner
Abijah McGrew and the Big Buck
God and the Gar Hunter
A World Record String of Bream
No Hair Pulling in the Pecan Shed
The Tennessee Bree Gold
For the Practicality of It
Possum in a ‘Simmon Tree
About the Author
Cousin Toby and the Preacher
Billie Moran knew how much I wanted to be rich and famous so she took it upon herself to manage my affairs, her being more experienced and worldly than I at the time. It weren't long before she had the whole town talking about me, only they gossiped about me spending so much time over at her place. Billie knew what to do right off. We'd start meeting in a public place so people could see us being good, God serving folks, she said. So we started meeting under preacher Ed's Wednesday night revival tent (except on Wednesdays, of course..
There's something unexplainable about revival tents. Billie thinks religion might work better on week nights because they have Sundays off in heaven just like here. I don't know about that, but folks'll stuff themselves in a revival tent like they just missed the world's last Sunday.
I hadn't missed a Wednesday in years, except one. That was the day cousin Toby flew his crop duster into McMullin's store window. He was dusting the Robertson farm and, as usual, had been snorting a little of Ike Picken's corn whiskey between sweeps. They say he didn't bring the plane up from a sweep quick enough and went under a phone wire instead of over it. The wire shaved off the tail fin so he couldn't steer the plane. He was cussing and screaming like a rodeo rider all across the flat lands; and when the plane came looping and twirling into town, people flat headed for cover. Toby's last words were still echoing after he nose-dived into the store window. You could hear his GOD-DAMN-SON-UH-BITCH!
all the way out to Pickens Hollow.
Me being the only member of the family with a vehicle, I was expected to run him over to the hospital in West Monroe. I could have saved my gas because there weren't nothing they could do. But anyway, the trip took most of the night so Tuesday night revival was done when I got back. They say Preacher Ed and the congregation prayed a lot for Toby, but there weren't nothing they could do better than the doctors.
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