Forgiven (Jacob and Beth's Rockstar Life #3)

Chapter One

Beth

I’m sorry, Jacob. That was out of line, but so are you.

He exhaled a long breath and paced away from me and back again.

Please come with me to London. I do need your help.

I shook my head. I’m flying to my brother’s for Christmas.

When?

The twenty-third.

You can still go. Mum would love seeing you.

I missed Vivian, too. Might give her the wrong idea, I said softly.

We all know that ship has long since sailed. Do we have a deal?

I sighed. Fine… I’ll lend a hand for a few days, but you have to be nice or I’m bailing.

Okay.

And I get a bonus.

He grinned. Done.

Let’s go see what’s available online…

How did he always talk me into things? Was I that much of a sucker?

I got us a flight for tonight while he called his mother to say there was a delay. Then I canceled my flight from LAX to Virginia and booked one from Heathrow for the twenty-third.

Four days with Jacob in the city I lost my virginity…

I had to be out of my friggin’ mind.

We landed in London around three in the afternoon after flying first class. His mother’s driver was waiting, and since it was raining Jacob had the hood of his jacket up and we got out unrecognized.

Hope it doesn’t rain the whole time, I muttered.

Never know, pet. What’s the itinerary?

I pulled a folder out of my tote bag. Here.

He scanned the printed e-mails from Lynn. Ah. We have a few hours before my first interview.

Enough time to settle in, catch up with your mother, and have a meal. Is he going to drive you all week? I nodded to the chauffeur.

Yep.

Then give him that print-out of your appointments.

Jacob’s brows rose. You’re not comin’ with me to anything, are you?

I shook my head. My job is to have you out the door on time. The interviews are all you.

Well, I did drag you here on your vacation—

Exactly.

The ride took longer than the last time I was here due to the rain and the season. Nice seeing the town decorated for the holidays, though.

My stomach tensed when we pulled up to the manor. This reunion could be really awkward. The chauffeur held a large umbrella over our heads. A butler answered the door.

I let Jacob enter first. Mrs. Lindsey waited at the base of the stairs, no less beautiful than six years ago. Jacob handed his coat to a maid, then embraced his mother.

Happy Christmas, Mum.

It’s good to have you home, dear. Hello, Elizabeth, she said warmly.

Hi, Mrs. Lindsey. Sorry about the short notice, but he insisted he needs my assistance this week.

She batted his arm. Jacob, shame on you for pulling her away from her family.

She’s still leaving on the twenty-third. It’s only a few days here instead of California.

Well, let’s get your belongings stowed in your rooms. You’re just in time for tea.

She shooed us upstairs while the servants retrieved the luggage from the car.

Aside from a couple different paintings on the walls, the house looked the same. I hoped she didn’t put me in the same room. Too many memories.

Jacob, your usual room is prepared. You have the room next door, Elizabeth.

Vivian opened a door at the end of the hall.

The room was decorated in a simpler style than the florals that adorned my previous lodging. While still a queen size, the bed was covered with a plain white eyelet duvet that matched the curtains. Vivian opened the door to the bathroom, revealing it adjoined with the room next door.

Little accents of pale blue and yellow added life to the space.

It’s fine. Thank you. I, um—

Elizabeth, you don’t need to apologize. I heard about your mother.

Oh.

Vivian touched my shoulder. I don’t know what exactly happened between you and my son and I’m not going to pry, unless you want to talk. Thank you for passing on messages the last year. While I was surprised to hear he hired you, I certainly could think of worse assistants to work with him. You do look thinner than before, though.

The motherly gaze made me feel guilty. It’s hard to find time for a decent meal. But I’m okay.

Her head tilted in the same way her son’s did when he was inquisitive. Are you?

I nodded. All grown up.

Not talking about the past, nope…that was a scab I wasn’t scratching.

Vivian smiled and took a step to the door. Well, hang up your coat and such and join us downstairs.

Alone, I exhaled and arranged my stuff to dry.

Being in this house was surreal. I never thought I’d see it again, let alone step past its threshold. Still didn’t know why I agreed to come.

A proper tea was set up in the parlor. Jacob and his mother were already catching up on the sofa. I picked the armchair and served myself, not wanting to interrupt them.

We hadn’t spent time in this room before, so I took the moment to observe the details while I ate. With my mind wandering, I missed the first time I was addressed.

Elizabeth…

What? I’m sorry.

Vivian smiled indulgently. Jacob was saying the tour will be here in a couple months. I was wondering if you knew the date.

Oh. Not off the top of my head. It’s in my planner.

She waved it off. No bother. You can look it up later. So, is this a social visit, or does my son have to work?

Mum, it’s only a few interviews. There’ll be plenty of time to deck the halls and trim the tree.

She sighed. I worry you’re going to burn yourself out, Jacob. It’s the prerogative of a mother. The things they print about you…

He sat up straighter. Exaggerations and tall tales, Mum, you know how they are.

Photos are open to interpretation, son, but they don’t lie. She shook her head. But I don’t want to argue with you. Please, eat before your appointment. Excuse me.

She stood and left the room.

I set my plate down and followed her. You okay?

She sighed, and closed the door to the music room. It hasn’t been easy since Jacob moved to Los Angeles. At first, I missed him, but now… I’m grateful for the information you send me, Elizabeth, but it worries me. Is he really so different?

Seeing the fear for her son in her eyes hurt.

Sometimes. It started after the Grammy’s. He suddenly had all this attention and he hasn’t reacted well. It was better during the fall, though. I sighed. Jacob’s just as brilliant on stage as ever, but he likes to have a good time, and there are a lot of people around him now that encourage that. Bad influences. Maybe he’ll grow out of it. I don’t know.

Vivian nodded, her face lacking any surprise at my words. Similar to the reason I moved him to your high school years ago. Thank you for your honesty. We should return. It’s supposed to be a happy time.

She put on a smile, held her head high, and left the room.

I hoped I’d one day gain such poise.

Jacob stood when we entered. I should be going. Traffic will be a bitch.

Did you get enough to eat? I asked.

I’m fine. See you ladies later. He kissed his mother’s cheek on the way out.

I sat down and sighed.

Well, at least it wasn’t another episode of drama.

Vivian and I had a quiet dinner, then she retired for the evening.

The rain stopped, so I slipped my coat on and took a walk in the garden.

Found my way to Jacob’s old hideout without intending to get there. The door was unlocked. The air smelled musty. I turned on a battery-powered lantern. A layer of dust coated everything. When was the last time he was here?

In the light of the lantern, I spotted some balled-up pieces of paper on the old desk. Opening one of them revealed lines of lyrics, many of them with black ink struck through them. More balls of paper revealed similar sights—hasty scribbles of passionate words.

They’re all about you.

I dropped the lantern, a gasp of surprise escaping my throat.

Jacob stood in the doorway.

I wasn’t trying to—

Doesn’t matter, he said flatly.

I picked up the lantern and set it on the desk. When did you get back?

Few minutes ago. The house was quiet and you weren’t in your room.

Took a walk. The door was unlocked.

I know. He shut the door, blocking out the cold breeze. Haven’t been in here since I moved to the States.

It shows. The dust.

He nodded. He was unusually calm and it put me on edge. Remember when I showed you this place?

I do. Much as it hurt, I remembered everything.

Life was simpler back then. Having made his circuit around the room, he came closer. I miss seeing you smile.

I still smile. I’m sure I did.

Not real ones. Not like before.

That was years ago. Things change.

I felt the heat he radiated now; saw his breath in the light.

He stroked my hair behind my left ear. Not everything.

And kissed me.

For a brief, glorious moment, we weren’t Beth and Jacob, but two souls fitting their puzzle pieces back together. He still kissed the same, pressing me close and teasing my tongue with his. If we could only be this, it would be easy to live in a cocoon of passion.

I wanted the oblivion of bliss, but memories wouldn’t let me. Memories of betrayal and pain. I pushed him away. No. I can’t do this.

Why not? I can feel you want it.

Is this why you dragged me here? To get your rocks off? I pushed past him and threw open the door.

He grabbed my arm. We’re both single, Beth, and it’s not like we haven’t done it all before. What’s wrong with indulging in a bit of nostalgia at Christmas?

"I don’t trust you, that’s what’s wrong. God, you selfish, manipulative bastard."

"Like you’ve been innocent? Reporting my private life to my mother breaks my trust."

She comes to me because you never remember to call her back. Shall we count the times you’ve told me to ‘handle it’ when the phone rings? Let. Go. Of. Me.

He released my arm. You’re still beautiful when you’re angry.

"Don’t."

His hand slid inside my coat, caressing my hip. How long has it been since you’ve been touched, Bethie?

I stumbled back, fleeing his advance. "Are you drunk?"

He blinked. Little bit.

The cold air subdued my anger and an idea formed in my head for a little lesson. Let’s go back to the house, I said in my most seductive voice.

His eyes widened at the sudden turn in my mood, but then I grabbed his hand, and he happily followed.

When we got to the base of the stairs, I let him pull me into another kiss, then asked, Do you have a pair of handcuffs?

He pouted. No…

That’s okay. A tie or scarf will do.

He smiled and ran upstairs. We entered his room.

On the bed, I ordered.

Knowing where his ties would be in the closet, I selected a blue one. It was my favorite color. Jacob had already shed his coat and sweater and lay on the bed.

He tried for a sexy look, but buzzed as he was, he couldn’t quite pull it off. Holding back a laugh, I crawled up his body, straddled his waist, and moved his hands to the headboard.

Stay like this.

Knowing how to kiss him to distraction, I did just that and secured his wrists to the metal rungs. Once the knot was snug, I sat up, then climbed off him. From the eager look on his face, he thought I was going to undress him the rest of the way, or maybe strip.

I walked to the door for the adjoining bathroom.

Where are you going?

Goodnight, Jacob, I sweetly said.

Oh, ha, ha. Come on, Beth. Get back over here and have some fun.

I’m thinking…no.

His expression changed and I saw the second he realized I wasn’t playing. You can’t leave me like this.

I can. Sleep it off, Jacob, and don’t ever kiss me again. See you in the morning!

"Beth!"

I waited to laugh until I was in my bedroom.

He wouldn’t be putting moves on me again.

From the squeak of bed springs in his room, he was trying to get out of his predicament, but I was a Girl Scout—that knot wouldn’t be coming loose until I wanted it to.

Surprisingly, it took at least ten minutes before he yelled for me again.

Shut up, Jacob! You’ll wake your mother!

It’s your bloody fault!

I opened the bathroom door to his room. Fine, I’ll tell her about tonight and see who she sides with.

"Her son, of course."

Sure about that? You made unwanted advances and I put you in your place. Plus, you’re drunk. I like my chances.

Some of his indignation died away. I can’t sleep like this.

And?

Let me loose.

A snort passed through my nose. Yeah, right. You’ll retaliate.

I could fire you now. Thinkin’ about it.

Off duty, Jacob. Besides, you’ve been an ass and this is a harmless prank. You have no work tomorrow. Goodnight…

Beth, please!

I kept walking back into my room.

There were limits to what I’d put up with in this job and he had to learn that.

After that night, the tension in the house could be cut with a knife.

Jacob and I were avoiding each other except for work, it was awkward between him and his mother, and I had no clue what to say to Vivian. I hoped they could have a good Christmas without me here.

The twenty-third didn’t come soon enough. The pressure in