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    Little Agnes and the Ghosts of Kelpie Wharf
    Little Agnes and the Ghosts of Kelpie Wharf
    Little Agnes and the Ghosts of Kelpie Wharf
    Ebook80 pages1 hour

    Little Agnes and the Ghosts of Kelpie Wharf

    By Stella Drexler

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    About this ebook

    Dreary, foggy, fishy-smelling Port Enshus is host to the 305th Annual Aquatic Life Acquisition Simplification Exposition featuring the infamous inventor, Dr Nimrod Crowley. Expressly forbidden from concussing any gulpy townspeople, assisting any villainous scientists, blowing anything up--even just a shanty or two--or having any fun whatsoever, lovable, precocious and clinically insane young scientist Agnes Crowley is bored out of her skull. To alleviate her boredom, she visits the local pug where the fishy dregs regale her with tales of twisted ghosts and deadly monsters lurking about the mysterious Kelpie Wharf. Agnes is eager to investigate the dubious claims, but when she arrives at wharf, instead of kelpies, she and the fishy dregs discover two ships come to port, whose crews have vanished without a trace. Armed with naught but tremendous precociousness, an arsenal of death rays, stun guns, ear trumpets, and concussion cannons, Agnes and her ubiquitous companion, Vic, a re-animated clockwork cadaver, set out to discover what has become of the missing men. But to uncover the secrets of the disappearance and the enigmatic island that may hold the key to the mystery, they must first face an army of werewolves, bogeymen, revenants, bog monsters, Spring-Heeled Jacks and other legendary monsters of lore.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDC Press
    Release dateOct 20, 2013
    ISBN9781622010202
    Little Agnes and the Ghosts of Kelpie Wharf
    Author

    Stella Drexler

    Stella Drexler is the author of the urban fantasy, Hex Breaker, the steampunk fantasy Angel of the Abyss and the upcoming paranormal teen mystery series Nightmare Island. She is also responsible for several other short stories, novels, comics, scripts and shopping lists. She lives in Portland, Oregon with Mr. Drexler and their helper monkey, Casanova.

    Read more from Stella Drexler

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      Book preview

      Little Agnes and the Ghosts of Kelpie Wharf - Stella Drexler

      LITTLE AGNES AND THE GHOSTS OF KELPIE WHARF

      A Little Agnes Tale

      By Stella Drexler

      Copyright 2013 by Stella Drexler

      Published by DC PRESS on Smashwords

      All Rights Reserved

      Welcome, Honoured Seamen and Esteemed Guests!

      To the Port Enshus 305th Annual Aquatic Vertebrae Acquisition Simplification Exposition!

      Ingenious Conceptions and Outlandish Innovations Galore!

      Featuring the Venerated Dr Nimrod Crowley and the

      Revolutionary Mechanical Aquatic Life Demodulator and Seizure Apparatus!

      A dense, eerie fog hung over Port Enshus, darkening the mid-morning sky to a dreary, gloomy grey. The air was thick with the chill, salty sea air blowing in from the wharf just south of the village. Everything smelled strongly of fish.

      Agnes was tremendously bored. The centre of the the small, stinky seaside village teemed with weathered fishermen and suspiciously well-kept seamen in rich, ill-fitting velvet jackets with long, beaded hair and teeth that glinted gold in the sun. They swaggered around amongst the crowd of crass, noisy village folk like princes among peasants.

      Agnes liked pirates. Things always got interesting when pirates showed up to a party, but these pirates were staggeringly disappointing. It didn't even seem as though they intended to loot or pillage anything. Instead, they seemed keen to admire the vendors' ingenious conceptions and outlandish innovations--or, as Agnes liked to think of it, really, really dull fishing stuff. They didn't even leer at anyone.

      Stupid, useless pirates, she muttered.

      Love pirates, Vic moaned, trundling behind her through the crowd, who parted in horror to allow him to pass.

      Not these pirates. They're the worst pirates ever. She paused and looked back at her tall, shambling companion. Vic! You're all a mess. You're stuck with fishing hooks and things.

      He looked down at his raggedy brown suit and mottled grey flesh. His rotting mouth gaped and leered unhappily. Bait.

      Agnes plucked at the glowing, wriggling little fish hooks. They caught in the cadaver's crumbling flesh and tore the old suit. She scowled. You're arm's coming off again. Vic, how do you get yourself into such straits? Can't you stand a little further away from the sharp, sticky things?

      Shiny.

      She reached into the holster on her belt for a tool to tighten his clockwork arm. A small ginger-haired boy in dirty rags raced past them. He screeched suddenly to a halt and spun back to Agnes and her companion with a disgusted expression that bordered on intense interest.

      What is that thing? the boy asked, lifting a finger to point at Vic. Is he a zombie?

      No! There's no such thing as zombies, Agnes snapped. That's stupid kiddy stuff. He's a re-animated clockwork cadaver.

      Victim, Vic told the boy sadly.

      I call him Vic, Agnes added. The little boy poked gingerly at Vic. Agnes slapped his hand away. He isn't a toy.

      Mad science, Vic agreed.

      The raggedy little boy spun on his heel and raced away. Agnes rolled her eyes. Typical. Don't feel bad, Vic. He's just a dreg.

      Ugly. Vic's mouth turned down in a horrible frown.

      Yeah. I hate ginger hair. Come on. I think I see some weapons!

      Fishing.

      Yeah, but they have to have some sort of really brilliant things here.

      The booths were remarkably tedious, but they weren't crowded. In fact, even the most popular booths suddenly emptied of shoppers as Agnes and Vic approached. Agnes toyed with the small, brightly coloured baits shaped like tiny fish that wriggled and glowed as though infused with radioactive life.

      Ew! They were slimy to the touch, and she scowled at the vendor, an old, salty sailor with a long, greying beard. What are these things?

      Uncannily Lifelike Fish Foolery, the vendor announced proudly, gesturing to his squirming wares. Sure to fool even the cleverest aquatic life.

      That's dumb.

      The salty old sailor drew himself up to his fullest, portliest height. I say, but you are a boorish little girl. What's your name?

      She lifted her chin proudly, and her caramel-coloured pigtails bobbed indignantly through her leather cap. I'm Agnes Crowley.

      Oh, I—Oh. Begging your pardon, young mistress. The bearded man's cheeks flushed. Well, my Uncannily Lifelike Fish Foolery may not be as impressive as your father's Revolutionary Mechanical Fish Finder--

      Aquatic Life Demodulator and Seizure Apparatus, Agnes corrected imperiously.

      Right. Or your...undead friend there. He nodded towards Vic.

      He isn't undead! He's a re-animated clockwork cadaver. There is a difference.

      His bushy grey eyebrows shot up into his messy fringe. There is?

      It's a very fine distinction.

      We are simple folk here in Port Enshus. Your sophisticated modern sciences have yet to reach our humble shores.

      Agnes scoffed. That is quite obvious. Come on, Vic.

      Very rude, Vic told the sailor, waggling a bony, mottled grey finger in disapproval.

      The large, brass cage lined with tiny gauges and copper wires was marginally more impressive, but it was intended to trap clawed shellfish and large aquatic mammals, rather than displeasing humans or giant legendary squid. There were large nets woven of glittering metallic mesh, buoys and anchors with sensing devices and demodulators. Haggard old women who smelled of seawater hawked brass goggles with pince nez and spyglass attachments that could see even across the dark, churning waves. Large, decorative brass compasses spun and whirled wildly. There were metal wands with sharp points that looked promising but were only some sort of underwater fish detectors.

      Agnes stuck her nose up at a large, cooling unit for storing fish in a ship's hold. She was disappointed in the full-body suits with huge, bulbous metal helmets with hoses and large, mesh eyes for diving. Even the huge, sparkling glass aquarium filled with colourful, exotic fish did not impress the little girl.

      They were boring, boring, boring.

      Vic! Agnes exclaimed in excitement, shoving aside whiny sailors to seize the large, shining gold harpoon on the table before her.

      The vendor was

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