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A Series of Unfortunate Events #7: The Vile Village
A Series of Unfortunate Events #7: The Vile Village
A Series of Unfortunate Events #7: The Vile Village
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A Series of Unfortunate Events #7: The Vile Village

Rating: 4 out of 5 stars

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NOW A NETFLIX ORIGINAL SERIES

Dear Reader,

You have undoubtedly picked up this book by mistake, so please put it down. Nobody in their right mind would read this particular book about the lives of Violet, Klaus, and Sunny Baudelaire on purpose, because each dismal moment of their stay in the village of V.F.D. has been faithfully and dreadfully recorded in these pages.

I can think of no single reason why anyone would want to open a book containing such unpleasant matters as migrating crows, an angry mob, a newspaper headline, the arrest of innocent people, the Deluxe Cell, and some very strange hats. It is my solemn and sacred occupation to research each detail of the Baudelaire children's lives and write them all down, but you may prefer to do some other solemn and sacred thing, such as reading another book instead.

With all due respect,

Lemony Snicket

LanguageEnglish
PublisherHarperCollins
Release dateMar 17, 2009
ISBN9780061757198
Author

Lemony Snicket

Lemony Snicket had an unusual education, which may or may not explain his ability to evade capture. He is the author of the 13 volumes in A Series of Unfortunate Events, several picture books including The Dark, and the books collectively titled All The Wrong Questions.

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Reviews for A Series of Unfortunate Events #7

Rating: 3.816686736842105 out of 5 stars
4/5

1,672 ratings42 reviews

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  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    The Baudelaire children continue on their quest to find out more about their deceased parents -- and to escape the clutches of Count Olaf and his troupe of miscreants. I read this title many years ago, but I do recall absolutely loving this series and being impatient to get my hands on the next book in the series!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    The series finally feels like it's got more mystery to it than in the earlier books. But I agree with user benuathanasia - sometimes you just want to smack them!
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    My feelings towards this instalment of the series are unfortunately a bit mixed. In terms of plot, its far from being the best entry in the series. It's slow moving and its plot is utterly bizarre. Which says a lot, given some of the trials that the Baudelaire siblings have faced thus far. I also felt that the end of this book was a bit of an anti-climax, with no clever plot to unmask Olaf or frantic escape.I'm also starting to feel as though this series teases the reader a bit too much. As with the previous instalment, there is no more of Olaf's plan revealed and it's still not even explained what V.F.D actually stands for. In fact, the novel goes out of its way to hand answers to the orphans, only to snatch them away again. As we are seven books into the series now, I would have hoped that Snicket would have given us some morsel of plot development by now.That said, I do appreciate the way that this book does mark a change in the dynamic of the series. Instead of moving to stay with new relatives and being forced to uncover Olaf's disguises, the Baudelaires instead find themselves framed for murder and on the run from the law. I suppose only time will tell if this switch does anything to spice up the series, but I'm at least curious to see how it will pan out in the next novel.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Another enjoyable book in the Series of Unfortunate Events series! I enjoyed the dark imagery of a city covered in crows with citizens who are all too eager to burn at the stake anyone who dares break one of their numerous rules. And of course, things never go well for our poor Boudelaire orphans, but they keep trudging along, making the most of their talents, working together to get through every dire situation. IMO, Lemony Snicket is an ingenious storyteller!
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This was one of the best novels in the Series of Unfortunate Events so far. Previous mysteries are solved, and new juicy details are introduced to keep the reader looking forward to the next installment. I thought Violet's invention in this book was particularly clever and loved the wordplay, as always.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    I really like this volume of the series because it's rather whimsical. A town full of crows, thousands of ridiculous rules, and a hot air balloon house. Of course, all of the Snicket books are on the whimsical side, but this one just takes the cake (a phrase which here means it has crows, rules, and hot air balloon houses rather than meaning there is cake in it).

    I also like this volume because it has what so many other books in the same genre lack: CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT. I mean, the Baudelaires AGE. Sunny MATURES. They actually have BIRTHDAYS. I love it.Also, of course, we get further into the mystery of V.F.D. We get a hint as to what some of the initials stand for, and even briefly meet someone who knows quite a lot about it.On the note of characters, I love Hector. I totally empathize with his skittishness, and I am unspeakably proud of him for overcoming his fear (even if it's a little late).
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is one my favourites of the series, I LOVED these books when I was a kid. I feel like they really taught me something, not least a lot of vocabulary.

    This book changed the series completely, finally the kids are on their own.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This is a trechorous tale written by Lemony Snicket about threee children who's parents died in a fire. These children go on a series of unfortunate envent. Overall this is a great book and I encourag everybody from 7 and onwards. Rayna
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    The 7th in the Series of Unfortunate Events. I've stopped being bothered by the complete lack of realism in the books and therefore enjoyed this one a bit more (although there were quite a few eyerolls on my part).
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    "It takes a village to raise a child..." But, knowing the Baudelaires' luck; it takes a village to neglect a trio of poor orphans and to force them to do all the chores.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    We've reached the middle, this is the 7th book in the Series of Unfortunate events, chronicling the misadventures of the Baudelaire children. This time Mr. Poe sends the children to be raised by a village, though it's more like take care of the village. Another great book for kids to help them expand their vocabulary ( here meaning to learn new and different words). The story continues and new situations arise and the Baudelaire's do what needs doing.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Oh, the voice in this story! Snarky. Clever. Delicious. Perfect.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    In this book the Quagmires and the Baudelaires meet and are again separated. This probably has the bleakest, if not the most cinematic, ending of any book in the series so far.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    i liked this book because of all the action it pulls you in to the childrens mishapes and adventures in this book the go to a village that takes care of them and the village has a lot of rules and stuff and it has a lot of words in it and and a lot of pages it was a good book i liked it it was fun to red,(not) nothing fun to read i read this book only cuz i had to read somthing
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Dark and mysterious this book leads you into a new era in the Baudelaire's lives.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    This book is one of the more scarier books in the series of unfortunate events. I would recommend it to a child who does not get scared easily.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    It makes me so mad at how the Baudelaire's are wonderful children but are sent to an ungrateful town with a creepy tone to it. These people are ridiculous but at the same time I can't stop reading because theres so many things I don't know.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Sometimes I just want to smack the orphans for being so dense. Still amusing, however.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    this book is great the Baudlures free their friend in a village of comfment they also get the name muder
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Having completed the seventh book in the Series of Unfortunate Events, I must say this one, The Vile Village, was the most difficult to get through. I imagine when I reach the end of the series, this is the one I'll look back on and ask, “what happened in that book?” I remember crows and... that's about it.There were a few moments worth a snicker. The overarching mystery moved forward a little. Very little. Overall, this book was fairly ho-hum. I've seen many television series go through the same thing—a moment where the creative team loses focus, hopes to stretch the plot while they decide what to do next (Anyone remember Lost's “Stranger in a Strange Land”?) I hope that is the case here. I hope this isn't the new direction for A Series of Unfortunate Events, but merely a breather. The Vile Village was equal with The Bad Beginning in scope and overall story, but I expect more from the seventh book in a series, so I declare this one the worst so far.A Series of Unfortunate Events:The Bad Beginning3.1The Reptile Room3.2The Wide Window3.6The Miserable Mill - 3.3 The Austere Academy - 3.4The Ersatz Elevator - 3.3The Vile Village - 3.1
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    I am getting increasingly tired of Snicket defining words and phrases as they have to do with his story instead of the true dictionary definition of the word. Besides that, the story was well executed.My favorite thing is that Snicket has decided to age his child characters. Often in series of books intended for children, they remain the same age for the duration of the series, (i.e. as far as I know the Babysitters Club is still 13 and in the 8th grade, and have been since I was 9--and I'm 27). It's nice when the children grow, as well as learn, (i.e. the Harry Potter characters). I'm glad Snicket has allowed the Beaudelaires to do this. It gives me hope that Violet will turn 18 prior to being captured successfully by Olaf.
  • Rating: 3 out of 5 stars
    3/5
    Trying to figure out the secret of VFD, which their friends the Quagmire triplets hinted at in the last book, the Baudelaire orphans go to live in a village titled "VFD" in a pamphlet. But alas, the villagers have no desire to parent the orphans, and isntead expect them to spend all their days cleaning up after the town's flock of crows (a flock so large that it completely blankets the town, making it look like a shivering mirage from afar). And of course, Count Olaf appears to make their lives even more miserable.
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    This didn't catch my mind but I still got pulled in. I don't know why this didn't catch my mind as much. It just didn't.
  • Rating: 2 out of 5 stars
    2/5
    I wish I hadn't started reading this series but now I have to find out how it ends.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Things are beginning to come together in the Seventh book of the "Series of Unfortunate Events". The Baudelaires are now in a town dedicated to and covered with crows. Through the crows, the children are delivered coded messages from the Quagmire triplets. The messages come in rhymes and the children spend much of their time (when not dealing with all the rules imposed on them by the townspeople) trying to decipher the 'poem'. And here is where the book tickled the literature teacher in me. The children go about systematically thinking about the meaning of each line of the poem, about each word and each word's various meanings and interpretations. What a lovely way to introduce children to literary analysis. Not that the 'poem' is very deep, but it is a fine example of multi-layered readings that a child can easily grasp. When they finally figure out the poem, they are able to rescue the Quagmire triplets, but as can be expected, the Baudelaire children do not escape with them. We learn, however, that Lemony Snicket is intimately related to what has been happening to the Baudelaire children, when his brother (?) Jacques Snicket makes a short and gruesome appearance in the book. Curiouser and curiouser.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    Another witty installment where the plot thickens. Not only are we worried about whether the Baudelaires will escape Count Olaf or whether the Quagmires will be saved, we see that the narrator and other characters are interlinked with the plot.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    I really enjoyed reading this book because even though, by now, we know how things will unfold, the element of mystery and surprise is still prominent throughout the whole story. Moreover, Esmé could be the definition of a despicable woman, her and Count Olaf are a match made in hell!
  • Rating: 5 out of 5 stars
    5/5
    Violet, Klaus, and Sunny arrive in a town covered in crows. They want to find the two Quagmire triplets, but will they?
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    A big let down from "The Ersatz Elevator" All the stories have been "dark," but the humor seems to be missing from this one. The continuing mystery of V.F.D. and the continued hinting of Lemony Snicket's personal connections to the Baudeliares and Count Olaf are keeping the story interesting.
  • Rating: 4 out of 5 stars
    4/5
    So far, the poor Baudelaire orphans have lost just about everything, and what little they have left they are further on the verge of losing. There are some things that can never be taken from you. These are things like your self-determination or your secret Aztec gold you've placed a special curse on.The Baudelaire orphans have a fortune, but it's not in cursed Aztec gold, so it can be taken away from them. Count Olaf, a distant relation to their family, has tried countless (well, as of this volume, seven) time to get that fortune. It's locked in arrears--a word which here means "unable to be accessed by anyone, orphan or villain"--until the oldest orphan, Violet comes of age.The banker in charge of their late parents' estate, Mr. Poe, has determined that the old maxim "It takes a village to raise a child" to be quite valid, and puts the Baudelaire orphans in the hands of the V.F.D., which may or may not be the same V.F.D. that the Quagmire triplets had mentioned to them before Count Olaf spirited them away in his devious plot to get the Quagmire sapphires, yet another great fortune.While the entire village expects to get free labor from the orphans, only Hector really cares for them. He's the town's handyman, and he is secretly violating several of the village's rules (he has a secret workshop in which he's designing things using forbidden--a word here, which means "all"--technology, and a secret library containing all the books describing people breaking the village's rules, including, of course, the village rulebooks). Additionally, the orphans are getting strange couplets mysteriously, which leads them to believe that the Quagmire triplets are closer than they think. But with the Quagmires comes Olaf, who too, would be closer than they think. So close, that the village elders claim that they have found him, and that they will burn him at the stake.But, again, this is a series of unfortunate events, and it's only the seventh volume, so the orphans trouble cannot possibly be over this soon.This volume is definitely recommended for anyone who has enjoyed the previous six, or any other writings of Lemony Snicket, or his good friend Daniel Handler. This is not the best place to start reading the series, however, as you may find yourself confused when references are made to previous books. In fact this or any later book in the series (or quite possibly any book after and including book two) would not make a good place to start reading the series. The best place would have to be book one: The Bad Beginning. So start there, and by all means, don't finish here (there are still six books to go!). Each volume uncovers more and more mystery AND misery. Enjoy, for the sake the poor Baudelaire orphans.

Book preview

A Series of Unfortunate Events #7 - Lemony Snicket

CHAPTER

One

No matter who you are, no matter where you live, and no matter how many people are chasing you, what you don’t read is often as important as what you do read. For instance, if you are walking in the mountains, and you don’t read the sign that says Beware of Cliff because you are busy reading a joke book instead, you may suddenly find yourself walking on air rather than on a sturdy bed of rocks. If you are baking a pie for your friends, and you read an article entitled How to Build a Chair instead of a cookbook, your pie will probably end up tasting like wood and nails instead of like crust and fruity filling. And if you insist on reading this book instead of something more cheerful, you will most certainly find yourself moaning in despair instead of wriggling in delight, so if you have any sense at all you will put this book down and pick up another one. I know of a book, for instance, called The Littlest Elf, which tells the story of a teensy-weensy little man who scurries around Fairyland having all sorts of adorable adventures, and you can see at once that you should probably read The Littlest Elf and wriggle over the lovely things that happened to this imaginary creature in a made-up place, instead of reading this book and moaning over the terrible things that happened to the three Baudelaire orphans in the village where I am now typing these very words. The misery, woe, and treachery contained in the pages of this book are so dreadful that it is important that you don’t read any more of it than you already have.

The Baudelaire orphans, at the time this story begins, were certainly wishing that they weren’t reading the newspaper that was in front of their eyes. A newspaper, as I’m sure you know, is a collection of supposedly true stories written down by writers who either saw them happen or talked to people who did. These writers are called journalists, and like telephone operators, butchers, ballerinas, and people who clean up after horses, journalists can sometimes make mistakes. This was certainly the case with the front page of the morning edition of The Daily Punctilio, which the Baudelaire children were reading in the office of Mr. Poe. TWINS CAPTURED BY COUNT OMAR, the headline read, and the three siblings looked at one another in amazement over the mistakes that The Daily Punctilio’s journalists had made.

‘Duncan and Isadora Quagmire,’ Violet read out loud, ‘twin children who are the only known surviving members of the Quagmire family, have been kidnapped by the notorious Count Omar. Omar is wanted by the police for a variety of dreadful crimes, and is easily recognized by his one long eyebrow, and the tattoo of an eye on his left ankle. Omar has also kidnapped Esmé Squalor, the city’s sixth most important financial advisor, for reasons unknown.’ Ugh! The word Ugh! was not in the newspaper, of course, but was something Violet uttered herself as a way of saying she was too disgusted to read any further. If I invented something as sloppily as this newspaper writes its stories, she said, it would fall apart immediately. Violet, who at fourteen was the eldest Baudelaire child, was an excellent inventor, and spent a great deal of time with her hair tied up in a ribbon to keep it out of her eyes as she thought of new mechanical devices.

And if I read books as sloppily, Klaus said, I wouldn’t remember one single fact. Klaus, the middle Baudelaire, had read more books than just about anyone his own age, which was almost thirteen. At many crucial moments, his sisters had relied on him to remember a helpful fact from a book he had read years before.

Krechin! Sunny said. Sunny, the youngest Baudelaire, was a baby scarcely larger than a watermelon. Like many infants, Sunny often said words that were difficult to understand, like Krechin! which meant something along the lines of And if I used my four big teeth to bite something as sloppily, I wouldn’t even leave one toothmark!

Violet moved the paper closer to one of the reading lamps Mr. Poe had in his office, and began to count the errors that had appeared in the few sentences she had read. For one thing, she said, the Quagmires aren’t twins. They’re triplets. The fact that their brother perished in the fire that killed their parents doesn’t change their birth identity.

Of course it doesn’t, Klaus agreed. "And they were kidnapped by Count Olaf, not Omar. It’s difficult enough that Olaf is always in disguise, but now the newspaper has disguised his name, too."

Esmé! Sunny added, and her siblings nodded. The youngest Baudelaire was talking about the part of the article that mentioned Esmé Squalor. Esmé and her husband, Jerome, had recently been the Baudelaires’ guardians, and the children had seen with their own eyes that Esmé had not been kidnapped by Count Olaf. Esmé had secretly helped Olaf with his evil scheme, and had escaped with him at the last minute.

And ‘for reasons unknown’ is the biggest mistake of all, Violet said glumly. "The reasons aren’t unknown. We know them. We know the reasons Esmé, Count Olaf, and all of Olaf’s associates have done so many terrible things. It’s because they’re terrible people." Violet put down The Daily Punctilio, looked around Mr. Poe’s office, and joined her siblings in a sad, deep sigh. The Baudelaire orphans were sighing not only for the things they had read, but for the things they hadn’t read. The article had not mentioned that both the Quagmires and the Baudelaires had lost their parents in terrible fires, and that both sets of parents had left enormous fortunes behind, and that Count Olaf had cooked up all of his evil plans just to get ahold of these fortunes for himself. The newspaper had failed to note that the Quagmire triplets had been kidnapped while trying to help the Baudelaires escape from Count Olaf’s clutches, and that the Baudelaires had almost managed to rescue the Quagmires, only to find them snatched away once more. The journalists who wrote the story had not included the fact that Duncan Quagmire, who was a journalist himself, and Isadora Quagmire, who was a poet, each kept a notebook with them wherever they went, and that in their notebooks they had written down a terrible secret they had discovered about Count Olaf, but that all the Baudelaire orphans knew of this secret were the initials V.F.D., and that Violet, Klaus, and Sunny were always thinking of these three letters and what ghastly thing they could stand for. But most of all, the Baudelaire orphans had read no word about the fact that the Quagmire triplets were good friends of theirs, and that the three siblings were very worried about the Quagmires, and that every night when they tried to go to sleep, their heads were filled with terrible images of what could be happening to their friends, who were practically the only happy thing in the Baudelaires’ lives since they received the news of the fire that killed their parents and began the series of unfortunate events that seemed to follow them wherever they went. The article in The Daily Punctilio probably did not mention these details because the journalist who wrote the story did not know about them, or did not think they were important, but the Baudelaires knew about them, and the three children sat together for a few moments and thought quietly about these very, very important details.

A fit of coughing, coming from the doorway of the office, brought them out of their thoughts, and the Baudelaires turned to see Mr. Poe coughing into a white handkerchief. Mr. Poe was a banker who had been placed in charge of the orphans’ care after the fire, and I’m sorry to say that he was extremely prone to error, a phrase which here means always had a cough, and had placed the three Baudelaire children in an assortment of dangerous positions. The first guardian Mr. Poe found for the youngsters was Count Olaf himself, and the most recent guardian he had found for them was Esmé Squalor, and in between he had placed the children in a variety of circumstances that turned out to be just as unpleasant. This morning they were supposed to learn about their new home, but so far all Mr. Poe had done was have several coughing fits and leave them alone with a poorly written newspaper.

Good morning, children, Mr. Poe said. I’m sorry I kept you waiting, but ever since I was promoted to Vice President in Charge of Orphan Affairs I’ve been very, very busy. Besides, finding you a new home has been something of a chore. He walked over to his desk, which was covered in piles of papers, and sat down in a large chair. I’ve put calls in to a variety of distant relatives, but they’ve heard all about the terrible things that tend to happen wherever you go. Understandably, they’re too skittish about Count Olaf to agree to take care of you. ‘Skittish’ means ‘nervous,’ by the way. There’s one more—

One of the three telephones on Mr. Poe’s desk interrupted him with a loud, ugly ring. Excuse me, the banker said to the children, and began to speak into the receiver. Poe here. O.K. O.K. O.K. I thought so. O.K. O.K. Thank you, Mr. Fagin. Mr. Poe hung up the phone and made a mark on one of the papers on his desk. That was a nineteenth cousin of yours, Mr. Poe said, and a last hope of mine. I thought I could persuade him to take you in, just for a couple of months, but he refused. I can’t say I blame him. I’m concerned that your reputation as troublemakers is even ruining the reputation of my bank.

But we’re not troublemakers, Klaus said. Count Olaf is the troublemaker.

Mr. Poe took the newspaper from the children and looked at it carefully. "Well, I’m sure the story in The Daily Punctilio will help the authorities finally capture Olaf, and then your relatives will be less skittish."

But the story is full of mistakes, Violet said. The authorities won’t even know his real name. The newspaper calls him Omar.

The story was a disappointment to me, too, Mr. Poe said. The journalist said that the paper would put a photograph of me next to the article, with a caption about my promotion. I had my hair cut for it especially. It would have made my wife and sons very proud to see my name in the papers, so I understand why you’re disappointed that the article is about the Quagmire twins, instead of being about you.

We don’t care about having our names in the papers, Klaus said, and besides, the Quagmires are triplets, not twins.

The death of their brother changes their birth identity, Mr. Poe explained sternly, but I don’t have time to talk about this. We need to find—

Another one of his phones rang, and Mr. Poe excused himself again. Poe here, he said into the receiver. No. No. No. Yes. Yes. Yes. I don’t care. Good-bye. He hung up the phone and coughed into his white handkerchief before wiping his mouth and turning once more to the children. Well, that phone call solved all of your problems, he said simply.

The Baudelaires looked at one another. Had Count Olaf been arrested? Had the Quagmires been saved? Had someone invented a way to go back in time and rescue their parents from the terrible fire? How could all of their problems have been solved with one phone call to a banker?

Plinn? Sunny asked.

Mr. Poe smiled. Have you ever heard the aphorism, he said, ‘It takes a village to raise a child’?

The children looked at one another again, a little less hopefully this time. The quoting of an aphorism, like the angry barking of a dog or the smell of overcooked broccoli, rarely indicates that something helpful is about to happen. An aphorism is merely a small group of words arranged in a certain order because they sound good that way, but oftentimes people tend to say them as if they were saying something very mysterious and wise.

I know it probably sounds mysterious to you, Mr. Poe continued, but the aphorism is actually very wise. ‘It takes a village to raise a child’ means that the responsibility for taking care of youngsters belongs to everyone in the community.

I think I read something about this aphorism in a book about the Mbuti pygmies, Klaus said. Are you sending us to live in Africa?

Don’t be silly, Mr. Poe said,

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