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    New New Testament
    New New Testament
    New New Testament
    Ebook800 pages18 hours

    New New Testament

    By Steve Howard

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    About this ebook

    Before one decides to dedicate one's life to a book, it is advantageous to read and understand it. Inevitably, once one understands a religious book, the religion becomes absurd and the story reveals a few simple secrets. There are no great secrets in the often manipulated old writings of privileged small minded priests. But a few simple observations become clear when the bullshit is scraped aside.

    This books is both for believers and non-believers. However, the non-believer, especially one with some experience with religious people, will find a little more humour in the discoveries and rants.

    Thanks to Toby for use of paintings ... http://www.2oby.com

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherSteve Howard
    Release dateApr 15, 2010
    ISBN9781452323299
    New New Testament
    Author

    Steve Howard

    Born in Halifax, Nova Scotia, Canada 1960. Moved to London, Ontario, Canada in 1967. Started playing hockey and piano. Went to Sir Wilfred Laurier High School and played the trumpet.Studied Architectural Technology at Fanshawe College of Applied Arts and Sciences. Started playing guitar and writing a little. On a trip to the mountains in 1982 with a friend I decided, or was awakened to the knowledge that I was going to pursue writing. Graduated 1984 and moved to Toronto.Moved to Saarbrücken, Germany in 1993.Have traveled many places in North, Middle and South America and Europe.Besides reading and writing also work on photography and music.

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      Book preview

      New New Testament - Steve Howard

      New New Testament

      King Namor Version

      Steve Howard

      ***

      PUBLISHED BY:

      Steve Howard on Smashwords

      New New Testament

      Copyright © 2010 by Steve Howard 773U5

      All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or distributed in any printed or electronic form without permission by the copyright owner and the publisher of this book, except in the case of quotations embodied in critical articles, essays and reviews.

      This is a work of fiction and any resemblance to persons, living or dead, or business establishments, events or locales are the author’s imagination and are used fictitiously. The use or misuse of theses trademarks is not authorized, associated with, or sponsored by the trademark owners.

      This work is based on and holds true to one of the most talked about characters of all time. Jesus Christ. The story remains the same as the original. It is brought to a more modern language to make the ideas clearer. There is always room for interpretation in all writing. The Bible is not an exception. It is a fairytale that borrows from older fairytales. All rights are reserved.

      Smashwords Edition License Notes

      This Ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This Ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you are reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

      ***

      Table of Content

      Gospel of Matthew

      Gospel of Mark

      Gospel of Luke

      Gospel of John

      Gospel of Jesus H. Christ

      Gospel of Mary H. Magdalene

      Acts of the Apostles

      Paul’s Letter to the Romans

      Paul’s Letters to the Corinthians

      Paul’s Letter to the Galatians

      Paul’s Letter to the Ephesians

      Paul’s Letter to the Philippians

      Paul’s Letter to the Colossians

      Paul’s Letters to the Thessalonians

      Paul’s Letters to Timothy

      Paul’s Letter to Titus

      Paul’s Letter to Philemon

      Hebrews

      The Letter from James

      The Letters from Peter

      The Letters from John

      The Letter from Jude

      The Revelation to John

      ***

      Gospel of MATTHEW

      matthew chapter 01

      Vs. 1: This is the list of the ancestors of Jesus Christ, a descendant of David, EQ.

      There are those who believe this is a relevant or significant event to have David as an ancestor. David was famous for ‘killing ten’s of thousands’ including King Saul and his family.

      And David was a descendant of Abraham. And we talked about him in the Holy Bloody Torah. As we did the other mad murdering monkeys Ab begat. And again we must remember that Isaac was a bastard son of a Lord.

      We go on with other names that don’t matter but we are reminded that the idiot Solomon, the King of excess and a harem of a thousand women, was the son of ‘the woman who had been Uriah’s wife’. And for those who missed what that story was about: that was the beautiful woman David had seen bathing in the moonlight one night. He wanted to have her but she was his best friend’s wife. So he killed his best friend to take her as booty.

      No, he didn’t. He simply sent him off to the front lines to die in battle.

      The point is: David, like most of those we hold in high esteem because we are taught to by the religious authorities, was a murdering prick that was raised in the temple by priests to be a murdering prick.

      And then we get the list of the men who descended from other men after the exile in Babylon all the way down to Jesus. Fourteen generations. They would have us believe. Or have us killed.

      Vs. 16 … Joseph, who married Mary, the mother of Jesus, who was called the Messiah." EQ.

      Now, as is often the case in Jewish families of the bible, Jesus was a bastard child. So not a direct link to David. Which need not matter to us but is a significant part of the story.

      What we have is a classic euphemism that is believed and seldom questioned by billions of ignorant sheep.

      Vs. 18: This was how the birth of Jesus Christ took place. His mother Mary was engaged to Joseph, but before they were married, she found out that she was going to have a baby by the Holy Spirit. EQ.

      Holy Spirit is a euphemism. Later we will have it referred to as ‘the Lord came onto her’. The Lord may have been King Herod. There is evidence for this farther into the story and it need not be believed for now. What needs to be understood is that if Mary didn’t have sex, she was raped.

      Now this may seem crazy for anyone wanting to live in a fairytale forever and hold virginity for a symbol of innocence.

      Joseph was inclined to dump Mary when he found her to be pregnant before he had had sex with her. He was asked not to disown her. And this is also not new. It is a rerun of the Torah. And if you have done your homework and read the Torah, you will understand that Mary was raped by a Lord. For rape was, and still is, a habit of those who find themselves in a position to engage freely in such practice.

      Vs. 23: A virgin will become pregnant and have a son, and he will be called Immanuel. EQ.

      A virgin will lose her virginity before marriage quite possibly not of her own free will.

      Vs. 24: So when Joseph woke up, he married Mary, as the angel of the Lord had told him to do. 25. But he had no sexual relations with her before she gave birth to her son. And Joseph named him Jesus. EQ.

      When he woke up. Joseph certainly had sex with her after that for Jesus had brothers and sisters.

      matthew chapter 02

      Vs. 1: Jesus was born in the town of Bethlehem in Judea, during the time when Herod was king. EQ.

      In Roman occupied land. Under King Herod.

      Now the Good News Bible has given us the translation: vs. 1: … men who studied the stars came from the east to Jerusalem. EQ.

      What that would mean is: astrologers. Not likely astronomers but let us not dismiss astrology too quickly even though it is not an exact science; it was a beginning of trying to understand how the heavens mattered. And we are very much still at the beginning of our long quest of comprehending the nature of the universe we are in.

      Other translations call them ‘three wise men’. And this very likely has everything to do with ‘the three kings’. And these are three stars that point toward the eastern sky. Christianity, though soon to rage vengeance against the practice of astrology, was very much influence by its predecessors of star and planet gazers in its many years of creation. The story is very similar to other stories before it.

      But let’s take it as the story goes. And these wise men went to the Roman King Herod and asked, vs. 2: Where is this baby born to be the king of the Jews. EQ.

      Vs. 3: When King Herod heard about this, he was very upset, and so was everyone else in Jerusalem. EQ.

      Strangely enough, the King found this upsetting. And we must again remember that astrologers were often predicting the future based on speculations they plotted based on assumption of meaning. And proposing a Jewish baby was born to be King of the Jews in the early years of the Romans Empire could be taken as a serious threat.

      So Herod calls together his priests and lawyers.

      Vs. 4: Where will the messiah be born. EQ.

      And they answered, well the people of the book says Bethlehem so it must best be there.

      This too is astrology. The star sign of the virgin, Virgo, is holding a breadbasket. It is random reference but it is the foundation for Christianity and the many religions, some now classified as myth, from which Christianity borrows.

      So Herod talked to the wise men and asked them when this star, which was Sirius, the dog star, had appeared. Sirius is our closest star. Stars. And the trinity of Osiris, Iris, Horus, as in father, mother and son is the forerunner to God the Father, Holy Spirit and Son. Jesus is Horus.

      Then, instead of sending dignitaries with the wise men, or soldiers, Herod asks the foreigners to pop back in after they go on over to Bethlehem.

      Go on down to Ham’s village and when you find the Messiah, come back and let me know, so I can go on down and worship him as well.

      Will do.

      Hang on. Did someone think for a second that a Roman King was going to go on down and worship a Jewish baby.

      Don’t interrupt.

      And the astrologers went. The star was still up in the sky. This made the wise men happy, seeing a thing in the sky and all.

      Vs. 11: They went into the house, and when they saw the child with his mother Mary, they knelt down and worshipped him. EQ.

      Of course, with gold, frankincense, and myrrh.

      And again, verse 11 sounds like astrology. The three kings went in the house of the virgin. Virgo.

      Then the wise men had a dream that enlightened them to the idea that King Herod might not really want to know where his bastard child was or he would have come along already. So they figured they wouldn’t bother Herod on their way back east.

      Vs. 13: Herod will be looking for the child in order to kill him. EQ.

      An angel told Joseph that. Or he might have been smart enough to do the math. But your humble narrator would like to propose that there is an untold element in the story. Jesus was the son of Herod. It was not likely that he wanted him dead. He wanted him Roman. An icon for the new religion that would become the mind set of the world empire.

      What.

      Just read on and see.

      So all the babies were killed in and around Bethlehem. The Moses story retold. We would suppose because Herod wanted Jesus dead. Except that he would know that his bastard son was already out of the country. Just like he knew the three wise men were.

      Much of what is written in the book of the new world religion is written to answer the grand prophets of the Jewish book of belief. With intent to make it more believable.

      And before we go on, we must make it clear that religious books are seldom based on real events. They are contrived stories based most often on stargazing. You narrator does not write this to offend the believer but to allow that we interpret the story as a story. Thus doing so see that, like all other stories, it has something to teach us about us. Not history. Human nature.

      Then Herod died. How many years later, who knows. But Joseph brings his family out of Egypt.

      This is written so because it was written that it must be so written. The messiah would come back from Egypt, after finishing his studies. Where astrology was at least part of it.

      So back to Israel but Archelaus, another son of Harold, wasn’t inclined to like Jesus so Joseph, after getting to where he was going, got up and took his family to the province of Galilee.

      Vs. 23: and made his home in a town named Nazareth. EQ.

      Because that was also in the script.

      Vs. 23: … He will be called a Nazarene. EQ.

      There are many things this could mean, including Nazarite, which is a ritual found in the Torah. Nothing made from grapes, no contact with dead people and no razor. However, we don’t want to get bogged down with details so let’s move on to John the Baptist.

      matthew chapter 03

      John the Baptist was, in all likelihood, a close relative and friend of Jesus. He was a preacher and a promoter for Jesus. They had one very important message.

      Vs. 2: Repent ye: For the kingdom of heaven is at hand. EQ.

      That was from the Gideon translation. The Good News Bible reads: vs. 2: Turn away from your sins, he said, because the Kingdom of heaven is near! EQ.

      This is repeated by Jesus often and is the start of the thread of truth. Repent can mean anything. It can mean, stop doing the self-destructive things you are doing and awaken.

      The kingdom of heaven is here and now. This is it people. We are in it and have been always in it. It is now that we start to see it. The start, and likely the end, of a universe are too hot or cold for life. It takes billions of years for life to evolve. And when we get to where we are, we find that it is we who are in it. Heaven is not a place beyond. It is all that there is.

      Now that, my dear reader, may be the simplest most profound clarity ever spoken by anyone until John, the friend of Jesus, came along.

      René Descartes proclaimed: I think, therefore I am.

      This doesn’t mean that rocks are not. But it suggests that it doesn’t really matter much until we reach the point where we are conscious. How it matters is yet to be known.

      And this changes everything. It is a direct attack on the laws of Moses and all the so-called prophets that came after him. The bloody death cults that want the followers to believe they are unworthy of heaven until they get a permit from the authorized leaders of tyranny.

      And the representatives, the Pharisees and Sadducees, priests and lawyers, of the laws of Moses came to be baptized.

      Vs. 7: O generation of vipers, said John. Who warned you to flee from the wrath to come? EQ. Gideon

      This is the framework that John, Jesus and the rest of the crew set up to be preserved until it was understood. It is a declaration of war of words against those who have set themselves in high places of authority. The end of the institutions of lies that are the war machine and the prostitutes of the war machine. The mad plundering unconscious primates.

      One must not forget that a few thousand years is not a long time to break through to the inside.

      They write in the story that the priests and lawyers came to be baptized by John but this is simply too absurd to be at all true. They were and are the enemy. They may have come to see if John the Baptist was a danger to their established laws. They likely dismissed him as insignificant.

      Then John the Baptist told of the great one who was yet to come. He’ll baptize you with the Holy Ghost and with Fire. In this case, Holy Ghost would be the spirit in man. Man as in human. What that is we can leave for later discourse. In previous versions of the story it was the woman. The holy mother.

      Then Jesus walks on down to the Jordan, a man and a scholar. A teacher. A man on a mission.

      Jesus wanted to be baptized by John. And as was the way of Jewish formality, John proclaimed before the crowd that he was not worthy to baptize the one who should rather baptize him.

      Jesus smiled.

      Just do it, brother. It’s part of our story.

      So John laid him in the water and Jesus jumped out and saw heaven before him. And a bird flew by and a voice was heard.

      Vs. 17: ... This is my beloved Son, in whom I am well pleased. EQ.

      Since Herod was dead, it is hard to say who might have spoken the words. More than likely is was just written so. Maybe Joseph came by but that is also not so likely because Jesus’ family was not so pleased with their son and his quest to tear down the laws and beliefs of their forefathers.

      matthew chapter 04

      So Jesus follows the white bird into the desert to have a talk with the devil. And since 40 days was the tradition from Lord Moses, Jesus also didn’t eat anything that counted as food. They tell us he was hungry afterwards. He would be dead if the story was true.

      Then, when Jesus was delirious from hunger, the devil showed up in his face.

      Turn the rocks into bread, Jesus. If you really are the son of God.

      So Jesus quoted Moses full out of context.

      Man don’t live by bread alone.

      Moses and God were angry that day and blew quail hip deep into camp so many died from a month’s worth of rotten bird meat.

      Which is sort of like God’s law.

      But the devil had no quail so they went to Jerusalem, the bloody holy city. Holy bloody city. City holy blood. And told Jesus to jump.

      Jesus said no.

      So they went to a mountain overlooking a very small portion of the kingdoms of the world and the devil said.

      If you worship me, you can have all this.

      Now this may be another piece of the thread. The concept of owning. Jesus was raised to be King of the Jews. All he had to do was put together an army and force Rome out of the promise land.

      But he decided against this endless killing for wealth and land. Said no to plunder capitalism and slavery. He was up to something different.

      Go away, Devil.

      So the devil left and the angel friends of Jesus came and helped him return from his visions of delirium. Now, since there is no such thing as a devil, we must try to understand what is to be learned here. In all likeliness, the devil represents doubt. And megalomania. If Jesus could be sold on the idea of being the King of Kings and Lord of Lords, he could assume the position of world dictator. Many believers believe this would be a good thing. Jesus, however, was smart enough to remember that he was but a man and would thus know that power corrupts and ultimate power would corrupt ultimately. He would become that which he had set out to fight against.

      Vs. 9: … All these things I give thee, if thou wilt fall down and worship me. EQ.

      Don’t fuck with the law and we will make you a great ruler.

      When Jesus came back from his talks with the devil, he learns that John had been thrown into prison. This would have upset him but he had decided against violence and for words.

      So Jesus left for a Gentile territory. Near lake Galilee. Because it was in the script. Esaiah figured a Messiah would have to leave the land of the religion he intended to expose.

      Vs. 17: From that time Jesus began to preach, and to say, Repent: for the kingdom of heaven is at hand. EQ.

      And again, this is the message of Jesus and his crew. We need to know that we are here in heaven and it does not belong to those who have claimed ownership. Heaven is another word for: universe. Physical, as much as physical is physical, reality.

      Down by the lake he saw the two brothers Peter Von Simon and Andy. Fishing for fish with a fish net and Jesus told them to come fishing for men with words.

      They thought that was cool and left their father in the boat.

      And he grabbed up Called James and John, two more brothers. And they left their father and followed Jesus. James and John were two brothers of Jesus. As was Judas. Judas was likely much younger than Jesus. Peter and Andy may have also been brothers of Jesus. Relevant but not important.

      Most likely, Jesus was well versed in the Laws of Moses, theology, eastern and African religions, astrology, astronomy and philosophy. He was well read by the time he started preaching in the synagogues. A teacher with intention to bring heaven down to Earth. That he taught in the synagogues seems a little unusual since he was preaching against the priests and lawyers.

      He healed sick people; perhaps he had a degree in medicine. More likely he had help from others who did. And at the time, any help was more than most were getting. Most were simply left to rot if they were without means.

      But his specialty was disorders. Demons and epileptics and paralytics.

      These things are easy to fake. Makes for a good show. But we won’t suggest that he was without talent. There are those who think all illness comes from the mind. Certainly there is a connection. And many ailments can be expunged with the wish to be whole. Releasing of the fear and doubt that poisons the mind that often can be seen as a physical disorder. This idea is still yet to be properly investigated. Partly because pharmaceutical drugs are a multi-billion dollar business.

      matthew chapter 05

      Jesus goes up a mountain to preach, or rather teach his disciples. With the multitudes down in the valley.

      And he does the made famous by Moses and Ab, Isaac and Jacob: ‘Blessed are’ speech. And some of it is pretty but some of it is a repeat of the Torah. In other words, mostly established nonsense.

      Shortened quote from vs. 3 – 10: Blessed are:

      Poor in spirit:

      The meek:

      They which do hunger and thirst after righteousness:

      The merciful:

      Pure in heart:

      Peacemakers:

      Which are persecuted for righteousness’ sake: EQ.

      Okay, but it simply ain’t all true. Especially not poor in spirit. Be rich in spirit. It’s nice to be gentle but meek is not always the best way to be. That sounds like an order from the establishment. Work and obey. Jesus was the man that said no way. That’s why he was hung on the cross. Because he challenged the laws of Moses. He said that the laws of Moses were a load of crap. The big paranoia lie handed down by a murdering megalomaniac. The big God con. God did not make the priests and lawyers. The lawyers and priests made God. And God is a fantastic justification for man’s inhumanity to man. Genocide made holy.

      Blessed are you if you are persecuted and slandered. That doesn’t work.

      You are the salt and if you ain’t a salty salt you are pointless. In fact, if you have no saltiness you ain’t salt. And if you are salt the best thing you can do is assault whatever creed is being used to keep the peasants ignorant.

      Now the bit about light is nice. Shine on you crazy diamond. Don’t hide. Stand up and let it show.

      Gideon vs. 17: Think not that I am come to destroy the law, or the prophets: I am not come to destroy, but to fulfil.

      18: For verily I say unto you, Till heaven and earth pass, one jot or one tittle shall in no wise pass from the law, till all be fulfilled. EQ.

      Well, not just a few pages ago we were told that the laws of Moses were null and void when John the Baptist said so. And at a later date Jesus is hoping mad with the priests and lawyers and cusses them saying how bloody inflexible they are and that heaven and earth would pass away before they thought of changing one little law. So we have to wonder if he isn’t being ironic here. The plan is to write the story so that all the prophecy of the Old Testament is fulfilled so it can be closed. Now this would not be such a bad thing if Paul hadn’t come along and filled the New Testament with Jewish laws.

      Jesus says that your righteousness must exceed the generation of vipers, as in the priests and lawyers, if you wanna get into the kingdom of heaven. That translated means, if you can manage not to be a lying, murdering prick, you might just get a piece of heaven. And there is truth in there. If you are hateful, like the priests and lawyers, you will win fear from those you torment, but you will have no love. And without love you will perceive no heaven. You will be like them: greedy, never contented, sadists.

      The law says don’t kill. Unless at war or someone doesn’t accept your religion.

      But I say if you are hopping mad with your brother for no good reason and say he’s a bonehead that sucks too. And can cost you hell fire.

      Now we must talk about hell fire. Remember in the Torah we learned that the father of religions is fire. Even before astrology. It simply is part of religious language. In this case what is being said is: Don’t waste your time being piss off at people for no good reason. Partly because it doesn’t help the other person but most importantly, it does not help you. Hatred returns to plague the hater more than the hated. It turns you into a wining little sorry bitch. Which can be translated as hell fire.

      In such a state you are no good to yourself and no good to others.

      Now the bit about settling arguments quickly is a very good piece of advice. If you have trouble with anyone, settle quickly. Out of court. Judges might throw you in prison. Lawyers will take your money.

      Now we get to adultery. A mad law made by mad men. Not by women. By mad possessive men. It was a law to keep women as property. While the laws of Moses were being protected by the sword, men had 2 or more wives and the wives had handmaids. All of whom could be used at will by the one man. The slaves as well.

      The word adultery is obscene and an affront to our freedom of choice and animal instinct.

      But I say even looking at a woman and wanting to do all the things that a billion years of carbon based life evolution has been longing for, is evolution. It is not an excuse for rape but desire is a natural instinct and the desire for a man or a woman by a man or a woman is nothing other than that. Adultery is as stupid a word as cheating. Are we just playing a game. Mad obsessed ownership.

      Which don’t mean you can’t agree to only sex your one partner; just it ain’t a natural law. It is man made. To serve men.

      Now if you read in a book it is better to pluck out your eye then whatever, stop and say, no. It is not good to pluck out your eye or anyone else’s eye. For Christ’s sake.

      And for Christ’s sake, do not cut off your hand if you are masturbating and thinking of someone you are not married to. It is not a sin. Most of this speech they tell us Jesus gave, he didn’t. It is Jewish law. It is religious mind fuck. They are abusing the name of Jesus. Blaspheming the holy spirit. Insulting life.

      And it is better to divorce your husband or wife than to waste the rest of your life with someone you no longer care to share your time.

      Now here is a point said more than a few times in both the old and the new testaments. And it is more significant than we give it credit. Even the Christians and Jews ignore it.

      Vs. 37: But let your communication be, Yea, yea; Nay, nay; for whatsoever is more than these cometh of evil. EQ.

      Do not fuckin’ swear. As in vow. Not on heaven not on earth. Do not swear on the bloody Bible when you are in court. This swearing on the Bible in court is a moron monkey ritual that is an insult to intelligence. And on top of that, it says in the Bible not to do it. And not just once.

      Do not swear on the Bible. Morons.

      Let yes mean yes and no mean no.

      The significance, one may ask. The significance is: it is stupid to believe that it means anything, for one thing. A liar can lie under oath. And the Bible is just a bunch of old stories. We don’t swear on the Iliad in court. Or Alice in Wonderland.

      Now we have been taught eye for eye, tooth for tooth. But now I update that too. Someone smacks you on the right cheek, show your left. There may be an element of provocation in such an action.

      Hit me again, you brute.

      If someone sues you for your shirt, give him your coat too.

      If one of those raping occupation soldiers orders you to carry his pack a mile, do two. Someone wants something, give it.

      Now Moses taught us to hate Gentiles and kill them at all times. Love your brothers and cousins. Well, that’s dumb. Even tax collectors are nice to people they like. Don’t bother with hate. You can better rid yourself of your enemies by loving them.

      Now this ain’t as crazy or as hard as one might think. It is a fairly serious piece of the thread of truth.

      And not because Jesus said so. Because hate on hate is really very stupid and unbelievably ignorant. A never ending cycle of violence.

      By the way, there has been no proper investigation into the twin tower scam. Billions of dollars insurance swindle. And not a terrorist attack. A well planned demolition. The Empire is poisoned and the obedient sheep are asleep.

      Vs. 48: Be ye therefore perfect, even as your Father which is in heaven is perfect. EQ.

      This is what one would call: Bullshit. Everything is in motion. Nothing is perfect. Everything is changing and evolving. And there is not a great father figure up in the sky, people. That’s a silly fairy tale about God ordained patriarchal dictatorship. Grow up and evolve.

      For Christ’s sake.

      matthew chapter 06

      Now don’t go making a show of giving and making religious rituals in public. Keep that to yourself. The only god that matters is in your head.

      Don’t be like the hypocrites that blow their own horn every time they drop some silver in the synagogue or on the street.

      Look at me. I give.

      Aren’t you fucking cool, steal a million give back a nickel.

      They stand around praying to show how holy they are to everyone else. Nonsense. Pointless stupid prattle.

      Vs. 5: And when thou prayest, thou shalt not be as the hypocrites are: for they love to pray standing in the synagogues and in the corners of the streets, that they may be seen of men. EQ.

      Your unseen mom and dad in your head are the only ones that need hear your prayers. Everything else is a ritual and a show. Arrogance and self-righteousness. Pray in a closed closet. Alone in the woods.

      Don’t use prefabricated dribble. Get to the point. Like this:

      Our Mother Earth which is in the heavens.

      Life’s paradise is here.

      Gods’ will will be done here and in the heavens.

      Don’t let us let others go hungry.

      Don’t make me pay interest on debts

      and I won’t collect interest from others.

      Don’t tempt me to do anything in adversity to survival.

      Keep us from being greedy frantic idiots.

      ‘Cause we are in heaven.

      We have paradise for evolution of life.

      Till the end of the universe.

      And into the next.

      Amen.

      Now it ain’t necessary to memorize this or any other prayer. In fact, when it comes down to it, what you are doing is thinking in your head. And what it is that hears you, well, let it be a surprise. What matters is that you are playing with ideas. Using your brain. Training it. Getting to know your own inner feelings, fears and whatever.

      And forgive people who wrong you. As in, don’t hold a grudge. Learn also to forgive yourself. Don’t get paranoid about a set of archaic rules that are simply absurd. Learn to discern.

      Now when you do your fasting, don’t go around with a long face and dirty hair. Shave and dress normal. Keep your fasting to yourself. Your unseen God sees you. It is between you and yourself. It is not a performance of noble suffering. There are a billion humans starving not of their own free will so shut the fuck up about taking some time out from stuffing your fat face. Bitch.

      And fasting for 12 hours then pigging out when the sun goes down is simply retarded. Eat less and live longer. As simple as that.

      Vs. 24: No man can serve two masters: for either he will hate the one, and love the other; or else he will hold to the one, and despise the other. Ye cannot serve God and mammon. EQ.

      Mammon mean money. And thou there is no such thing as God, did we mention that already. God is a concept. Perhaps a perversion of godliness. Let’s say god is consciousness for this verse. And you will see that there is a very scary warning. We have been taught by the lying evil dictators of hate that money is God. And it has turned the world into a poisonous hell-hole. Wait. Let’s say Life is God. You can’t love life and money both. And history shows this over and over again.

      Most of the world’s luxury, the shiny kind, is won through war and plunder. It makes the rich richer and keeps the poor ignorant slaves. For example: in Guyana, South America, mining companies plunder and rape the land of trillions of dollars worth of gold and other resources while the county suffers from a few billion dollars of debt handed to them by lying pricks, otherwise known as The World Bank, better described as The World Bankrupt. Development they call it. Then rob the country blind. The third world game.

      First the missions.

      Then the schools.

      Then the lawyers.

      Then the rules.

      And paradise raped again. By mad greedy megalomaniacs.

      Surely they must have given them something in return for pillaging the land.

      Oh, of course. Hundreds of millions of gallons of arsenic treated wastewater into the rivers.

      Your eyes are the light, the front window of your you. The angel in you can be found there if you let it. Don’t let it be a window to darkness.

      Don’t worry about tomorrow. Live for today. Don’t worry about what you are going to eat or your clothes. Look at the birds.

      This is actually how humans lived until the advent of cultivation, kings and war. It’s not so easy now that the evil apes have taken everything and locked it behind fences. There are, however, many weeds we can eat.

      Tear down the walls. Especially the one in the land the Israelites rule with iron dictatorship. Or is it military police state. Oh, people of the land. You have been fucked over. Get up; stand up for your rights.

      Oh, your narrator is allowing himself too much freedom of interpretation. But we are at the crossroads. This is the time we must bust out of our mute obedience to impossible law. The robbing class must give back the wealth. Monsanto must die.

      And anyway, don’t worry. Worrying don’t help anyway. Just a waste of time for people who like to waste time. When trouble comes, deal with it. Take action.

      matthew chapter 07

      Don’t judge others, maybe others won’t judge you. If your brother has a little trouble, before flipping out on him, deal with your own trouble or inadequacies. Don’t be sharing holy things with dogs or throw pearls at pigs.

      Ask and you get. Look for and find. Cross the street and get to the other side. Knock on a door and it gonna open.

      At least in most cases, thus making the effort of action quite a rewarding practice. What all these analogies are trying to do is get people to begin to think. To visualize their world. Simple thought was and is a faculty that had been beaten out of them, us, with restraining religions and a plethora of absurd laws. And swords and other devices of torture and torment.

      Think about: some son of yours wants bread; you don’t give him a rock, or a bunch of laws. Or a snake if he wants a fish. Or an elephant when he wanted a chicken.

      This is way over my head.

      Do onto others as you would have them do unto you.

      Someone wrote in that this is what Moses meant. It ain’t. Moses said do unto others what I tell you to do. Moses told his soldiers to murder millions of men, women and children. And burn everything down to the ground. So don’t think for a minute that he was a great prophet. He was a vile murdering tyrant.

      Keep the straight and narrow path. The wide one is an endless over lit boulevard of fast food chains and Hollywood fantasy. Boring. And sterile heaps of toxic waste. Stay away from well-trodden paths.

      And watch out for lying prophets that look like sheep but under their fine disguise are wolves. But I don’t like this misuse of wolves. Not even poisonous snakes compare. There is nothing so deceiving and backstabbing as an ape waving a flag of holy righteousness. No animal comes close to such a creature. So let us say, watch out for sheepish looking clowns of authority. Tear down the Vatican.

      What are you saying. The Catholic Church will have you murdered.

      Fuck the Catholic Church. Fuck the holy lies of our insane forefathers.

      You shouldn’t say that.

      The fish made me say it.

      You don’t get grapes from a thorn bush. No fig from a thistle. Ain’t no fruit on a dead tree and the analogy leads up to, if you ain’t no good we throw you into the fire.

      And don’t think because you make a show of casting out devils in my name that you get a free ticket to heaven. I simply won’t let you in. Sucker.

      If a tree don’t give good fruit, cut it down and burn it.

      Build on a rock, not shifting sand.

      The people were really impressed with Jesus. Even if it was rhetoric for retards. Ain’t nobody come and told so much information so elegantly like he was right and they should listen up.

      Retards ain’t politically correct.

      Well, fucking morons, then.

      matthew chapter 08

      I hate to suggest this but I can’t help observe the obvious possibility of theater.

      The writer tells us Jesus heals a leper than sends him to a priest.

      Vs. 4: and offer the gift that Moses commanded, for a testimony unto them. EQ.

      This must be meant as an insult. Blasphemy. The man didn’t have leprosy. It was a provocation.

      The priests were well aware that no one has the power of God because there isn’t one. Jesus was just trying to piss them off with their own tricks.

      Anyhow, as the theater continues, a roman centurion gets Jesus to heal a servant. He is so humble he doesn’t want Jesus to bother coming by. He isn’t worthy to have such a man in his humble house full of servants and slaves. A word of clean bill of health is all he requires.

      Jesus says how impressed he is with the Roman’s faith. Israel hadn’t a man with so much faith.

      Vs. 10: … I have not found so great faith, no, not in Israel. EQ.

      Another jab at the priests. An attack on the laws of Moses. He even lays weeping and gnashing of teeth to the future of the Jewish ruling class. This isn’t unusual when going about discrediting one religion to establish the next mind virus. Ah, religion. This wouldn’t have been the intention of a teacher that proclaims heaven is at hand. However, it may have been the intention of the men who wrote the book.

      After a hoard of healing and casting out devils, they go to Peter’s mother-in-law and she jumps up out of bed when Jesus comes and touches her. She had a fever.

      Hey. You want something to eat, boys.

      Not important, but we know now that Peter was married.

      Now, there may be those who wonder why all this healing. It makes the story a little too unlikely. The answer is simple. They had to stage it.

      Vs. 17: That it might be fulfilled which was spoken by E-saias the prophet, saying, Himself took our infirmities, and bare our sicknesses. EQ.

      So Jesus crossed the lake. In a boat. Jesus slept. And they woke him up.

      Jesus. There is a storm. We’re gonna all die.

      True. But not today. You with so little faith.

      So Jesus went up and told the waves to settle down. Now he might have got lucky and they did. Not likely though. Likely the storm wasn’t so bad and the boat didn’t sink and they made it across the lake. There is many a sailor who can tell you of such a boat trip. Many chapels have been built by captains of fishing boats who feared they could die in a storm.

      Oh, holy Jesus Christ. Lord god almighty. If you get me through this storm I promise I’ll build you a chapel.

      Jesus and his followers walked on down a road by the burial caves. And two mad men yelled out at him.

      Look, that’s him, Herod’s bastard son. Time for the show.

      Hey Jesus, you son of God you. Are you come to punish us.

      I’m gonna set you free of your devils.

      Jesus. Send us to the pigs.

      The devils said that. Jesus went along with the proposal and sent the devils into the pigs and the pigs ran off over a cliff and drowned themselves.

      Which sucks for the pigs and the pig herders.

      So no surprise when the pig herders run into town and all the people of the town come back to tell Jesus where to go. Anywhere but here.

      Which is understandable, for Christ’s sake. Tell the devils to go to hell and leave the damn pigs be.

      matthew chapter 09

      Jesus jumped back on a boat and went back to his hometown. Capernaum. A paralyzed man was brought to him.

      Your sins are forgiven.

      Some scribes pick up on this.

      Blasphemy. We call blasphemy on Jesus, the bastard child of Herod. He is not licensed to forgive sins. Only we can do that.

      You sorry ass buggers. You who claim to own God. You think I can’t forgive sins. The son of a man. And a woman. Well, guess again suckers. The rules have been changed. By John and me. Your days of unquestioned authority are numbered. And the number is a small one. Get up man. God be in you. Take your bed and get out of my house.

      So the paralyzed, maybe from too much brandy the night before, man got up and went home.

      Vs. 8: But when the multitudes saw it, they marveled, and glorified God, which had given such power unto men. EQ.

      Okay, for any believers we haven’t scared off yet with our continual blasphemy, the miracle was not that Jesus healed a man. That was a staged event. The miracle was that he performed such blasphemy before the scribes who were following him around looking for him to do just that. He was insulting the authority that took their authority from a lie they called the laws of Moses.

      Then Jesus went to eat with Matthew and asked if he’d like to come on his campaign to wage a fight against old crusty dictatorship slave soldier laws.

      Count me in, Jesus. I’m sick of being a tax collector for the vile aristocracy tyrants.

      Some priests of the laws of Moses saw Jesus hanging out with tax collectors. Publicans and sinners. By the way, a publican is a Jewish tax collector that collects for the Roman Empire. The lowest of low life. Except for gentiles.

      Jesus. Why do you hang with such people.

      Who are you to judge, you venomous snakes of holy lies. Do you truly believe that you are above any of the other creatures of the planet. Oh, you will be a weeping and wailing when your lie is exposed. You will be standing there naked in your clown suits with everyone knowing you have been raping, murdering and robbing the planet for thousands of years. Crawl into you holes and shut your stinking gobs.

      Vs. 14: Then came to him the disciples of John, saying, Why do we and the Pharisees fast oft, but thy disciples fast not? EQ.

      Well, how about because we don’t want to.

      What. But. Huh.

      Yes. As simple as that. Your fasting is a public ritual to demonstrate your dedication to a set of laws. Screw your laws. Fast if you want to. Just keep out of my face with your tired rituals. I’ve got little time left and intend to enjoy every day that I can.

      A Jewish officer came to Jesus. Down on his knees and begged Jesus come make his dead daughter not dead.

      All right. I got time for one more before the next coffee break.

      On the way, a woman touched him. She had been bleeding 12 years. Sometimes happens to women after menopause.

      She had the faith and the bleeding stopped and Jesus told her it was her faith that healed her.

      Faith. Oh, let us wait to rave on that word.

      Let’s get to the dead girl before she rots.

      Jesus tells the truth, and no one wants to believe it. They prefer to believe crazy stories from neurotic lunatics. But again, it is a staged event. For, my dear reader, if she had been dead, she would be dead after Jesus went for a visit.

      Get out, go blow you horns out in the field, she ain’t dead yet. In fact, she’s just trying to sleep.

      Jesus went and held hands with her and she got up.

      Jesus, I am so tired, my family is driving me crazy with their holy ranting about the laws of Moses and your constant blasphemy. I wish you would spend more time at home.

      I got things to do, my love. But when the show is over we’ll go somewhere where they don’t know us.

      Promise.

      You know I never promise.

      Jesus had sex with the young woman and went out to do a few more tricks.

      What. Jesus didn’t have sex with her.

      He certainly did. They already had three children at the time.

      Where was that written.

      Where was it written that dinosaurs laid eggs. Or that they existed.

      Now when we read that Jesus made the blind to see and that they went around telling everyone that he did so, that is theater. What he was also doing was getting people to see and perceive. Something one would assume was not any different than looking, but it is. Look to see that you are here. Still not a common event.

      So he visits a dumb man and tells him to speak.

      This is an old trick from as far back as the Torah. When a Lord made Sarah pregnant by raping her, Abraham did not speak until he was told it was time to stop with his not speaking.

      Sometimes people refuse to speak to demonstrate their disgust for those who never listen to what they say. But someone like Jesus can get people to speak on account they know he will listen and understand.

      Vs. 34: But the Pharisees said, he casteth out devils through the prince of the devils. EQ.

      The Pharisees were frightened of the influence Jesus had on the people. They knew he was a danger to their bloody holy establishment of tyrannical dictatorship.

      But Jesus was on a roll. He knew he had to do what he could to bring an end to the suicidal theater established by the mad ruling class. Even if they took his words and put them into the next religion. Someone would come after him and continue to question the tyranny of authority. It was in the nature of angel in man.

      We need some more help.

      He had five main men still and everyone, even the Mormons, knows you need a dozen. It’s astrological.

      matthew chapter 10

      So now we got our dozen and Jesus gave them all the authority to heal and cast out unclean spirits.

      Okay, we’ll do the names once so we got them written: Peter Von Simon and brother Andy. James and his brother John. Philip and Bartholomew. Tom and Matt. Another James, Leb-baeus, surname Thaddaeus. Simon the Canaanite, what Moses wanted all dead. And the little brother of Jesus, Judas who Jesus would ask to betray him.

      For the big event.

      Go to the lost sheep of Israel. Take no shoes, no metal money. Get yourself invited in somewhere. If no one in any given town takes you in, shake the dust off your feet to show your feeling of disgust.

      You will be, you disciples, like sheep visiting a pack of wolves. Be as cautious as a snake and smile like a dove.

      There are those who will arrest you. And whip you in the dungeons of the synagogues. You will stand before kings and queens in their theaters they call courts.

      Don’t worry about what you’ll say. The words will come.

      Brothers will turn in their brothers to be tortured and killed. A father his daughter. A child will rise against their parents.

      What we got here is the problem of ideology. If say, an evil tribe makes a company of poisoned food and chemicals and calls their pack of thieves Monsanto and makes their evil ways into law, those who follow the death cult will lick the dirty asses of the rulers and turn in their brother or son if they refuse to poison their soil and patent their pigs in the name of holy Monsanto.

      What does that have to do with it.

      With it. That is against it. An ideology could be the laws of Moses or Mohamed. If your family worships in fear of either or both of these tyrants and the law of the land supports the prostitutes of war, you will be turned in by your own family if you say, ‘no, this is all bullshit.’

      Because I don’t want to eat their bullshit.

      Most men are women and children hating worshippers of bullshit because they are in fear of the ruling class that find if funny to make the peasants eat bullshit.

      It can’t be that simple.

      Oh, but it is. They will hate you if you question their suicidal ways. But have no fear. Religion and evil corporations have had their day.

      Hold not to the laws no matter who would present them to you as holy. Open your eyes and see the world how it is. The secrets will be made known. Take my message and make it heard.

      And again, the point we must understand and perceive, the main thread is:

      This now, what is, is it. We have the potential to be the gods. Evolution makes it so. Learn to love. Love to learn. Allow the angel in us.

      Like Moses, or the writers of other stories to be sold to the slave class as God’s word, the text of the New Testament tends to go from one extreme to the other. Continually. Push at one side then the other. Dualism.

      Bust out of dualism and find a way out of our limited two-dimensional perception of the infinite universe around us.

      Let us take another look at vs. 39 for it can be seen as thread material.

      ‘He that loses his life for my sake shall gain it.’ Instead of ‘my’ being Jesus, think of it as the angel in you. The over man. What was. What is. What is yet to be. Billions of years in the making. Life reincarnating and evolving, never losing the basics of what makes us all the same. Instinct.

      We are not creatures of belief to be locked in real and virtual cages that the ruling class has us build.

      matthew chapter 11

      So they all went out teaching and preaching and two of the disciples of John the Baptist, who was still sitting in prison, came to Jesus and asked him if he was the one.

      Now this is a little silly. John and Jesus knew each other. Likely close relations. John had already baptized Jesus. He knew what roll Jesus was playing. What was more likely was that John wanted to know if everything was on schedule.

      So Jesus told the disciples of John the Baptist what events had been preformed. And that the people were getting the message and starting to understand it.

      There were making mockery of the Jewish religion by acting out the prophecies.

      You’re a good man, Jesus.

      He told them John was a prophet.

      Vs. 11: Verily I say unto you, Among them that are born of women there hath not risen a greater than John the Baptist: not withstanding he that is least in the kingdom of heaven is greater than he. EQ.

      Now this could make sense if it had too but it seem like an elegant oxymoron. Or nonsense. No one is greater except everyone in the kingdom of heaven. This may suggest that the kingdom of heaven is somewhere other in the universe. At least until the next verse.

      Vs. 12: And from the days of John the Baptist until now the kingdom of heaven suffereth violence, and the violent take it by force. EQ.

      We’ll do the quote from the Good News Bible again.

      Vs. 12: From the time John preached his message until this very day the Kingdom of heaven has suffered violent attacks, and violent men try to seize it. EQ.

      Now the reason your narrator feels it necessary to look at this twice is in the hope that the reader will understand the somewhat hidden message in the Bible. And it is only really hidden when the reader doesn’t read to understand what is being said. And the biggest trouble with believers is that most are illiterate. This is not said for be mean. It is a fact. The Bible, which ever one, Old Testament, New Testament, Koran, was not available to be read by the believers. Literacy of greater numbers is a new thing. Readable translations are also a resent event. Believers have believed and never question. Were not permitted to question.

      The Kingdom of heaven refers to where we are. Planet Earth: as long as we refuse to embark on space travel. And planet Earth has been under violent attack. And it is the men of violence. The masters of war who have brutally taken ownership of something that simply should not be owned.

      Do not believe without question. We must reject such madness and learn to understand. Comprehend our environment. That’s why we stood up in the first place. To see a little farther.

      And that, my dear readers, ain’t part of a thread at all. It’s a hanging bridge made of hemp rope. Hand made by Aztecs to cross a deep ravine.

      You can walk your horse on it.

      Heaven has been stolen by the War Lords. The religious leaders are lying to us.

      Anyhoward, Jesus explained his displeasure with the cities that refused to listen to his teachings. To continue in their ways of oppression and abuse of the poor for the benefit of the rich.

      You will be thrown down to hell.

      We gotta wake up to the fact that evolution tries whatever it can. It will wipe us completely out of the future histories if we don’t co-operate with it. We cannot expect to conduct a grand theater of lies with no regard for the planet and be part of its future. We will be thrown into the proverbial hell fire.

      Life is a real thing. We have the best possible part of it. We need to be the gardeners. The caretakers. The monkeys that take life from star to star. The primates that become the angels of heaven.

      Jesus is thankful for his wisdom. And how he could sell it to babes ‘cause it was so simple and clear.

      We are here. This is it.

      Drop your moldy myopic beliefs handed down by the whores of the warlords. We are not slaves. We have not sinned before God. We are here because it was possible for us to be here. It is the nature of this universe. It is the nature of this solar system. We’ve made it in. We have landed in a young universe. We can take our part in it where and how we decide. No dictatorship from the heavens. No dictatorship on Earth. Laws are physics and survival.

      Save heaven from The War Lords.

      matthew chapter 12

      So now Jesus and the boys were walking through a field of corn on the Sabbath. And it came to pass that they did hunger. And so they did eat of the corn that was growing in the field.

      And some Jewish priests saw them and called out.

      Hey. That ain’t legal. No one can do anything on the Sabbath. Moses said.

      "Who the hell cares what Moses said. Do you not remember David, your great killer of tens of thousands, he ate food set out as taxes for the priests and told the priest to go fuck themselves because his men were bloody and hungry from murdering and raping gentiles. On the Sabbath he ate the priest’s bread. Every priest breaks the law in the temple on the Sabbath.

      It’s our planet and we will do as we see fit. Obeying only the laws of life and our part in it.

      What.

      No more sacrificing animals. We must forge a path other than the main road to the cliff of extinction.

      So Jesus goes into a temple and tells a guy with a crippled hand to stretch it out. This is good advice for those who have held tight on to nothing, often in anger and pain. It can hurt to stretch out the hand again but it is better to do it.

      The Jewish priests were getting seriously pissed off with Jesus openly defying their holy arbitrary laws.

      Vs. 14: Then the Pharisees went out, and held a council against him, how they might destroy him. EQ.

      This bastard shows no respect for our fucking laws.

      We will have to murder him.

      I think it is best to murder him in such a way as to remind others not to question authority.

      Yes, yes. Make an icon of him so that his murder is a holy event and the peasants can worship his bloody murder image.

      "Well, we’ll talk to the other son of Herod, he is usually happy to have a murder show for the public. We’ll simply have the son of Herod nail him up on

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