Not Just Another Day

Foreword

My mother passed away more than twenty years ago and I miss her still. She was (and continues to be) a powerful influence in my life. My father is still living and feisty as ever. His steady faith and integrity are shining examples of what it means to be a dad. I grew up in a family of two brothers and two sisters. The five of us never wanted for love and attention despite both our parents working.

Not Just Another Day reflects my belief that every day is a blessing. Our actions have consequences beyond our imagining. What we do with this gift of a day can make a difference in our lives and in the lives of those we encounter.

Not Just Another Day is a series of daily reflections. Some readings are drawn from my experiences others are merely my opinion about the world as I see it. It began as a personal devotional and simply grew. The book reflects my faith tradition, which is Christian. I am neither a theologian nor a trained minister or educator. Not Just Another Day is my interpretation. It in no way reflects any particular denomination. Bible readings were sometimes catalysts for the essays and sometimes paired with an essay after a little research. The prayers are my own and come from my heart. These are my thoughts based on a lifetime of making mistakes, overcoming adversity, and putting my trust in the source of all life.

I have found that my family, friends, and neighbors experience similar frustrations, worries, and joys. I have tried to capture that common experience. Some readings are more personal than others, but all of them express a common theme, my heartfelt belief that God is present in the lives of all believers. I make no claim that my belief must be the belief of all. That is between each individual and God.

My faith is deep. I have always known God’s guiding hand was with me; the fact that I have ignored that guide from time to time has led me into life lessons I won’t soon forget.

I thank Sally Hanson, a friend who generously agreed to read Not Just Another Day to catch errors and recommend changes and clarifications. I also thank my husband, Bob, who is my best friend and my greatest fan.

—Sharon Vander Meer

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God leads.

It is up to us to follow.

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It’s me, Lord

Psalm 143: 7-11

It’s me, Lord, a little uncertain as a new year begins,

Fearful of the demands of life in the days ahead.

I may not be able to meet expectations.

Whatever I do, Lord, may it be your will.

It’s me, Lord, thankful you are with me

As I wade into the mix of life that tests my patience,

Occasionally sparks anger,

And sometimes brings about poor choices.

It’s me, Lord, your sometimes-unwilling tool,

Praying I will listen for your voice

Which comes in many forms,

Reminding me of your promise to love, comfort and nurture.

It’s me, Lord, thankful that doing your will

Makes it possible to initiate change in myself.

My reward is the peace that comes from knowing

You are with me at every step.

It’s me, Lord, thankful for the strength

That empowers me do what needs to be done,

And for the ways, great and small, I am able

To be effective and productive.

It’s me, Lord, praying I will be prepared

To do whatever comes my way

Based on your plan uniquely designed for me.

Your presence in my life is the greatest gift of all.

Lord, help me to be wise.

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A time for everything

Ecclesiastes 3:1

In the book of Ecclesiastes the writer says that in all the vagaries and tragedies of life our only hope is in God. In chapter three we are told there is a time for everything. I sometimes forget that and get tripped up by stress, aggravation and a hunger for more. I become tied to work and forget my family. I look for better and bigger rather than see what is right in front of me. I begin to think I can control my future by harnessing time. I live by the clock but don’t spend my time wisely.

To help organize my thinking about making time for everything I made a list of the signals that indicate when my priorities are becoming confused.

• Time for spiritual reflection slips to the bottom of my ‘To Do’ list (or isn’t on it at all!).

• More time is spent thinking about work than family.

• Making time for prayer becomes a burden instead of a joy.

• I put off calling my dad or other family members because I’m too busy.

• The words management and crisis become synonymous.

• Everything gets done, but at a frantic pace.

• I get angry at the drop of an ill-timed word.

• Quiet time starts to feel like wasted time.

• Seeking short-term fixes begins to take priority over working toward long-term goals.

Lord, time can best be measured by the outcome of our lives. While we are on this earth give us the wisdom to spend our time wisely and well.

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Overcome evil with good

Roman 12:17-21

Stereotyping is a particularly insidious evil because it creeps in when we least expect it. Stereotyping is to believe the least of who a person can be rather than looking for the best. We find ourselves telling or listening to offensive ethnic jokes that may elicit laughter, but it is strained, uncertain laughter borne of the sure knowledge a slice of our personal integrity has been snipped away. Refusing to participate in stereotyping is an important step toward removing prejudice from the world.

The lineage of most Americans is a mish-mash of ethnicity. When stereotyping mud is flung, invariably it hits some branch of the family tree. Our words can leave lash marks we don’t even know about.

People are people, no matter their ethnicity. Some are kind and generous, some are callous and cruel, that is human nature and it cuts across all races. We can make a difference by offering human nurture that is considerate of others. Christ overcame evil with good. So can we.

Lord, help me remember that words are powerful tools and to use them wisely.

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Time out

Matthew 6:5-8

Communication with God through prayer leads to a clearer understanding of spiritual identity. It is a time of exploration and a time of finding out what God expects. Sometimes I get the message and sometimes I don’t.

Talking to God isn’t all that hard. The gateway to God’s ear has always been open. Prayer is a dialog that sustains. For me prayer isn’t an activity to be crammed into the day; it is an integral part of the day.

I confess my prayers are sometimes a little bossy, like me: Okay, Lord, I know you’ve given me faith and strength to handle anything, but I think I’ve had just about all I can stand for one day!

When I get that way I know it is time to take time out with God.

Prayer brings life into perspective. I get a lot off my chest and no one but God and I will ever know what was said. I know God answers prayer. What I must remember is that his answer may ask something of me in return.

Lord, thank you for the guidance you give.

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Moment by moment

1 Peter 1:13-16

When you have a busy day planned it is easy to allow little things to get under your skin. A phone call from a persistent telemarketer can put your day into a tailspin from the get-go. Cranky children or a teen whose manner of dress seems a little left of acceptable cause you to lash out with comments that cut off communication. Before you know it you have allowed minor events to get the upper hand. You lose your temper and that sets the tone for your entire day.

When a nit-picky problem generates anger and frustration the problem takes on a life of its own. The anger of a single moment converts to anger at the next incident and the one after that and the one after that until you become a pressure cooker ready to explode.

Faith is a grounding tool in those moments when anger overcomes reason. I cannot control what someone else says or does. I can control what I do and say.

Going to church on Sunday does not make us loving people, but it helps. God’s love alive in us enhances our ability to apply self-discipline, understanding, compassion, patience, kindness and generosity of spirit, all of which add up to loving others. Each moment is a precious gift. Throwing any of them away on anger is a waste of time.

God, there is no greater example of love than your gift of love to us, your son, Jesus.

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Oh, what a beautiful morning

Proverbs 4:23

I look out the window of a morning and see a sunrise that literally stops me in my tracks. New Mexico has spectacular sunrises and sunsets. The brilliant morning makes me appreciate those who paint or take art-quality photographs. Oh, that I could capture that beauty and set it side-by-side with my prayer of thanksgiving! What a grand beginning to a new day. I wish I could say it inspires me to spend time reflecting on God’s glory and his marvelous creation. Mostly it puts a smile on my face and gives me a feeling of hope and optimism.

Beautiful mornings are a reminder that there is much in life to be treasured and much in life to be enjoyed. Taking time to rest and reflect on God’s glorious day also presents an opportunity to ask for guidance.

Lord, sometimes in our search for the next conquest, the next success, the next accolade we overlook the most obvious joys. Help us to see and help us to make time to appreciate.

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Who am I?

John 1: 9-14

Through no act of my own I am a child of God. When all else is uncertain and my expectations fall short of reality; when the days are unbearably long and tiresome; when I begin to think everything I do is wrong, I remember, I am a child of God.

Sad to say there are times when I don’t want to feel better. A day wallowing in self-pity is much easier than looking at why I’m miserable; a day when my friends and family try to cheer me up without realizing they are part of the reason for the funk I’m in. I don’t want their sympathy, cheer, and concern. If I take it I might have to start feeling better and right that minute feeling lousy is what I want.

And then I hear a hum in my heart and a whisper in my ear: I am with you.

The Holy Spirit speaks in moments of despair and does what nothing and no one else can do. Despite myself I begin to heal.

Who am I? I am a child of God. I can’t imagine an existence that doesn’t include God’s presence. I can’t imagine a soul in the universe who doesn’t have the comfort of knowing God is present, today, tomorrow and always.

There is no part of my identity I treasure more than that of being one of God’s children.

Lord, make us strong when we are weak, brave when we lack courage, and steady in our faith so we don’t act contrary to your will.

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What will tomorrow bring?

Ephesians 5:15-17

In these days of expanded life expectancy it would be irresponsible to ignore planning for how you will take care of yourself into the future. What about today? How much of yourself have you invested in living right now?

It is an unfortunate fact of life that we frequently put off what we want to do because it isn’t safe or it isn’t in our plan or it isn’t productive.

I recently met a woman who, upon being diagnosed with breast cancer, decided she was going to do one thing she had always wanted to do. She didn’t want to go to her grave leaving some desire unfulfilled. In this case the desire was to become a painter. She pursued that goal and achieved it.

As it happens her medical treatment was successful and her prognosis for a long life is excellent. The incentive to achieve certain objectives, however, spurred her to create a series of paintings inspired by obituaries she had read. The paintings are not of a particular person but a pulling together of characteristics she saw in obituaries that resulted in a portrait of a personality type. If the obituary revealed a dour character that’s what the portrait reflected. If the death notice indicated a humorous individual the painting showed that humor in quirky ways.

She paints live people involved in various activities as well, but these obit portraits are close to her heart. They reflect the characteristics people end up being remembered by.

Lord, grant that we will live so that we are remembered as your faithful followers.

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Thankful in all things

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Snow is beautiful, when you’re inside looking out. When you’re in its icy grip your perspective changes. It becomes fraught with danger and unwanted surprises, like someone driving too fast and going into a skid that brings their car into a near collision with the car you’re driving. Life is like that. Some days are filled with beauty and joy and others are peppered with aggravations and unexpected collisions.

At a Bible study I attended several years ago the verse about being thankful in all circumstances came up for discussion. Some in the group thought it was unrealistic to be asked to be thankful in times of tragedy or when circumstances indicate the world has gone mad. One woman who had experienced the depths of despair when a family member committed suicide said there was no way she could be thankful for that event. How could anyone expect her to be thankful?

There was no leader to guide the discussion. We were initially at a loss for how to respond and to be honest I don’t know if we got it right, if there is a right in such circumstances. The discussion centered around being thankful that even in desperate times God is present as a comforter and puts people in our circle to provide a sense of belonging.

Like the snow that is pristine and white when it falls to the ground but turns muddy when the weather warms, our happiness can be as crystalline as a snowflake only to melt under the onslaught of sad events. But the melting snow becomes nurturing moisture that brings about renewal of life. So it is with God’s love.

Lord, thank you that you are always present.

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Baptized in the spirit

Acts 2:38

There are varying opinions on what baptism is and what it means. Some religious traditions hold that a child should be baptized at birth, others say you must be of an age to understand and accept the reasons you are going through the ritual. Baptism is an outward expression of an inward belief. If you believe in the Triune God — God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit — with baptism you enter into a covenant with the Creator to act in a manner that is Christ-inspired.

Christ was a quiet man but not timid. He encouraged people to repent and go and sin no more. He understood the difference between loving people and enabling them.

In the name of love, we sometimes rationalize sin. Nearly everything is acceptable. Is it because to consider otherwise might mean holding a mirror up to our own failings? How often have you given just a little on an issue that impinges on your values, and then found that, having given in once, you do it again and again? C.S. Lewis calls that the subtlety of the evil one.

Baptism isn’t a suit that can be removed when it becomes a social inconvenience. Am I living up to my baptism? It is a question that puts Christian commitment into perspective.

Lord, help me be who you want me to be.

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Making music

1 Corinthians 12: 4-6

I cannot carry a tune. I’m not tone deaf; it’s just that the tone I put out is enough to peel paint. My joy comes from hearing other people make music: playing the piano, singing in the choir, concert musicians creating the magic of music, opera, country music, spirituals, I enjoy it all.

My mother had a crystal clear soprano. She could sing like an angel. Few people ever heard her sing because singing was something she did around the house, not in public. What she did in life was to give people who were hurting a chance to see themselves as having value. She worked with the mentally ill, people cast aside by family and society.

Mom was a monolithic figure in my life. She was all loving, all knowing. She never seemed uncertain or weak. She was always there for us, a tigress when it came to defending her family, open arms and an understanding heart when it came to loving us.

It was from my mother that I learned you make music however you can. You take the gifts you have been given and make them sing. The voice may come out in writing, or painting, or cleaning, or babysitting, or any one of a hundred other acts of kindness or work you do with joy.

It matters not whether you can carry a tune, it only matters that you use your gifts, whatever they are, to make the music of life.

Lord, help us to recognize when we are making what we can’t do more important than what we can do, and grant that all we do be done to your glory.

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Voices

Colossians 3:23-24

Opportunities come our way every day. Sometimes we go into them full tilt not thinking about consequences. Exhilarating? Yes! It can also result in stress and debt.

When I decided several years ago to start a weekly newspaper I charged ahead despite the cautionary voices of my husband, the banker, and our accountant. It was successful in every way, except financial. For the entire three years the paper was in existence we poured personal money into it. That was all right in the beginning; when you invest in a business you expect to fund it. However, at some point every business must pay its own way. That never happened.

Not only did I create debt, I became a basket case. I spent so much time working I rarely saw my family and when I did I was too tired or too worried to be much fun. I had set too fast a pace and ended up neglecting what was most important: God, family and friends.

As difficult as it was to cease publication, I realized it had to be done. I had spent three years of my life listening to my voice and ignoring the voices of people close to me who cared enough to question my judgment. It was time to move on.

I learned that making the most of opportunity isn’t about becoming consumed by what you want. It is about listening to others because you never know when God might be using their voices to send you messages you need to hear.

Lord, help me spend less time talking and more time listening to your voice and the voices of those in my life who care enough to tell me what they think, even when I don’t like what they have to say.

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Renew

Luke 13: 6-9

Believers do not exist in a vacuum. At times people of faith feel surrounded by a vast desert with shifting grains of sand that grind away at their resolve to be good. We are teased into believing that possessions can make us happy, that more is better, that the great I must be satisfied. We become lulled by a consumer-driven economy that tells us security is the measure of how much we have invested, the amount we have in the bank, and the value of our homes and cars. And then along comes an economic reality none of us ever expected.

Instead of being at peace we feel empty, hungry, unsatisfied. For professing believers it is especially revealing. We say God is the priority in our lives, but our actions shout otherwise.

The farther we go from our faith, the hungrier we get. The more we avoid being part of our church the greater becomes our sense of loneliness. We forget that without the nourishment that comes from study, prayer, and fellowship with other believers we cease to grow. By our actions we cut ourselves off from the food that nurtures.

Going to church is an important part of our spiritual nourishment. God welcomes us back when we’ve gotten lost on the way to being good. The minister’s words remind us that we don’t even have to be good for God to love us. He just does.

Lord, we are nurtured by your presence and through your church. Thank you.

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Role Models

1 Thessalonians 1: 4-7

I was pre-teen when I heard a Sunday school teacher say, Don’t be a stumbling block to someone looking for a spiritual home. The line stuck. Back then I decided it meant being a good person. Today I define it as being a spiritual role model, a daunting if not downright off-putting concept. When we profess to be believers there will always be someone waiting for us to fail. That’s a scary thought. Who wants to be judged by others?

Not acting on faith with the same assurance we act out other aspects of our lives speaks volumes. It isn’t about hitting people over the head with one’s beliefs; it is about expressing the compassion and mercy of Christ.

If our rationale is that we don’t want to be overbearing or fanatical about our religion, perhaps that is part of the problem. Our spiritual life isn’t about religion; it’s about our relationship with God. Anything taken to a level of high regard can become a religion, but our spiritual demeanor is ultimately how others will understand us.

Where do we put our time and effort? That’s where our hearts will be. Actions do speak louder than words. When our actions reflect our joy in the Lord we are being the kind of role models that make us an open door not a stumbling block.

Lord, help us to remember that people will judge us by what we do. Make our actions reflect love for you and for one another.

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Hospitality

1 Peter 4: 9-10

Ranchers in the area where I live practice a tradition called neighboring. This is when cowboys gather at the ranch of a friend and help with branding, inoculating cattle and assisting with other ranch jobs. It is hard and demanding work that harkens back to a time when people relied on each other. Neighboring is based on friendship and being available when you are needed. An important component of the event is feeding the workers, a task usually undertaken by the wife of the host rancher. In addition to the hard work and good food there is a spirit of cooperation, camaraderie and mutual respect.

Watching the cowboys is pure entertainment. You see men and women who have a healthy respect for the creatures in their care and for each other. Their work is a rough but beautiful ballet of responsibilities that fold fluidly into one another.

It isn’t as common as it used to be, but on occasion the cowboys will gather at the end of the day to tell stories and sing old time songs.

Neighboring is a tradition that we can all borrow and learn from. We live in such insular times that many of us don’t even know our neighbors. We sit beside the same people in church every Sunday but know very little about who they are Monday through Saturday. Neighboring is an enhanced version of hospitality, an opportunity to open your home and yourself to new experiences, new ideas, and new service to God.

Lord, open doors means open hearts. Help us have a neighboring spirit.

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Noble Character

Proverbs 31:10

When I was a child my mother told me my face had character. The first time I heard that I was probably four or five, and yes I remember it like it was yesterday. She was braiding my hair and I can tell you the experience was excruciating. Getting your hair pulled into a ponytail or braided must be God’s way of preparing women for the later travails of giving birth or being married or working at being all things to all people.

I was wearing blue coveralls and a white shirt with a Peter Pan collar. I asked if I was pretty and my mother said my face had character, which was more important than being pretty. At the time I didn’t fully appreciate the difference. I wanted to be beautiful. Didn’t happen. I’ve grown to accept that having an interesting face is better than having a beautiful or even ordinarily pretty face, but it took a while.

Mom worked hard all her life, sometimes inside our home and often as a paid employee. It was impressed upon us that being productive had value. Honesty is the best policy was a credo she lived by and passed on to us. Perhaps because she had been the target of prejudice during her life she stressed that what you looked like on the outside wasn’t nearly as important as how you behaved and reacted to the world around you.

Mom and Dad taught us that love had very little to do with always getting your way. We didn’t argue with our parents, partly out of fear of spankings but also because we respected them, trusted them, and knew we could depend on them.

The best legacy any of us can leave is love. Mom died several years ago but I have no doubt she is making God smile. She had that kind of heart and spirit.

Lord, thank you for those who have helped shape our lives.

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Faithful in all things

Psalms 103:13

My husband is a wonderful man who enjoys life to the full. At an age when most people are comfortably retired he continues to work in his profession. That would suggest he is a workaholic and perhaps he is, but if you asked him, aside from his faith, what is important to him, work would be fifth or sixth on the list. At the top are the people he cares about: his son, my son, our grandchildren, his niece, our friends, my family, and me. Work is what he does; the people in his life are who he is. He has an electrifying laugh that makes everyone join in even when they don’t know what’s funny. You can find him in a crowd just by the sound of his laughter.

I’ve always known what a truly faithful person my husband is, and he proved it time and again during the years his son, who lived with his mother in another town, was still in high school. My husband would leave work and travel to the town where a soccer or basketball game was being played, cheer his son on, drive home and go to work the next day. He did this as often as he could throughout the time Rob was in school. He didn’t do it because he had to, but because he wanted to.

He did it out of love.

Lord, each day is a gift. Thank you for the parents who blessed us with their time and wisdom.

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Faith is an action word

Romans 12: 3-8

The people in the church we attend are incredibly gifted. Along with those gifts they have enormous energy, great compassion, and a wealth of faith. They don’t seem to know the word impossible.

To continue embracing the opportunities that come our way it is helpful to examine our own gifts. Not everyone is meant to be in a decision-making