Dark Choices

Dark Choices

Published by Bernadette Smith at Smashwords

Copyright 2010 Bernadette Smith

Smashwords Edition, License Notes

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Chapter 1

It was another cold, rainy day in Missoula. I was staring out of the window, feeling very excited about starting my first day of university. I was still living in my hometown and I knew that I would never leave this beautiful place. Most of my friends were desperate to move to warmer places, but I liked the cold, especially the rain. There was something mysteriously romantic about this place…for me, anyway.

I moved out of my parents’ house into a small one-bedroom apartment closer to the university. They were not happy that I wanted to move out, but I felt it was time to become more independent. My father knew the head chef at a nearby restaurant and was able to get me a job there. I knew that it was going to be difficult, having classes all day and working at the restaurant in the evenings, but like my father said, Welcome to adulthood where nothing is easy.

My father gave me their old white Nissan, using the excuse that they needed a newer car for all the traveling that they were planning. And with me being the only child, out of the house, there was nothing stopping them. Luckily, I knew where the registration office was; I got my class schedule and a detailed map of the campus. I’ve seen the university many times during my school days but even now it was still overwhelming. A place almost four times larger than my school, huge buildings, unfamiliar faces — it was easy to get lost. I stared down at the map in my hands, trying to figure out where to go for my first class when I heard a familiar voice.

Amber, over here Sarah shouted, waving. I waved back at my beautiful blonde, skinny friend. I was glad that Sarah had also decided to stay in Missoula. Her father died two years ago and she wanted to stay close to her mother. She had an older brother, Michael, but he was a Navy soldier and rarely home. She was like a sister to me; we grew up together and according to our parents, we spend way too much time together. She had many offers from model agencies, but her heart was into helping people rather than getting more attention than what she usually got. I knew she would study medical. Since I can remember, she played doctor for everyone and everything that looked like they needed care and I was usually the one convincing them that they needed it. We made a good team! Studying psychology was what I always wanted to do; the human mind has always fascinated me. Somehow people opened up to me easily and I loved to unravel their thoughts and challenge their minds.

Hi Sarah… nervous?

Yeah…you?

Not sure…, there is a fine line between being nervous and being excited.

Right, shall we meet here after our classes?

Sure, what time does your last class end?

Four-thirty, yours?

Four.

Will you wait for me?

Yes…good luck, knock them dead, I teased.

Send them to me after you’ve brainwashed them, Sarah giggled as she walked away. I unfolded the map and started walking, following the directions. I found the building and took a deep breath before I entered through the open doors. When I entered the class, an excited feeling came over me as I realized that this was the beginning of my unknown future. The seating was the same as in a small movie theatre, rows of chairs covered in a blue velvet material. Most of the students were already seated and chatting excitedly. The professor was standing at his desk in the front, reorganizing his papers. I saw an empty seat three rows from the front and moved quickly to it. When I reached the empty seat, I gazed over the students and my eyes rested on a guy in the same row. His golden hair and light calming green eyes were all one needed to forget about emotional pain. He chose the right career, I thought, smiling. He was smiling at me and offered me the empty seat next to him, but I froze when the professor cleared his throat. I threw him a ‘I’m sorry’ look and quickly took the empty seat where I stood.

So far so good, I thought, then I turned my attention to the professor as he started talking. When the class ended for a break, I decided that it would be a good time to see where the library and cafeteria were located. In the doorway I turned, curiously looking for the guy who offered me the chair. He was walking not far behind me.

Neil… someone shouted. He turned his head and I followed, looking for whoever called him. He saw the guy and hurried towards him. They hugged manly, one hand on the shoulder and the other hand gave a hard pat on the back without moving too close. They looked happy to see each other, like old friends reunited. "Neil," escaped my lips as I turned and walked out. The map was easy to read and I found the library quickly. The woman behind the desk was very friendly and the true image of a librarian. Her blonde hair was tightly taken back into a bun and her blue eyes studied me over her classes, which rested on the tip of her nose. She must be in her late forties, judging by the few fine lines on her face. A little bit of make-up would have brought some color to her pale lifeless face and the cream-colored dress did not do her any justice.

She gave me my card, explained quickly where I would find everything before she turned back to her computer. I thanked her and walked out. I found the cafeteria just as easily. The smell of the food made my stomach rumble. It was lunchtime and although I didn’t feel hungry, I needed to eat to keep my stomach quiet. I bought a turkey sandwich and coffee and took a seat at an empty table.

Mind if we join you?

My head snapped up. Sure… I smiled at the girl and guy who stood before me. Their features were very similar: tall, athletic build, dark brown hair and hazelnut eyes.

I’m Paul, he said.

I’m Paula, she said.

I sat astonished, not sure what to make of their names. She must have seen the confused look on my face because she replied giggling, We’re twins…but still weird…I know. Our parents weren’t ones for name searching.

Oh… I gave them a warm smile. I’m Amber.

What are you studying? Paul asked.

Psychology…you?

We are both studying computer science, Paul answered and Paula was nodding.

I could see that they were not from here; the way they dressed and talked were different from the local folk.

Where are you from? I asked them curiously.

"From New York; we came here to study, wanting to get away from

the crowded city. Our mother grew up in Montana and our grandparents still live here." Paula sounded unimpressed as if she expected more of Missoula. Looking at my watch, I realized that it was time to get back to class.

I have to go…will I see you tomorrow? I asked as I stood.

Yes…same time, Paula said.

Great, see you then, I smiled and walked out.

Back at class, I looked over to Neil and met his gaze. He gave me a smile and I returned it. He was already seated and didn’t offer me the seat again. I took my old one and lurked at him. He was still looking at me and I quickly turned my eyes to the front, feeling embarrassed for being caught.

Doesn’t this class have air conditioning! I mumbled, feeling feverish.

Huh…? the girl next to me said, looking befuddled.

Oh…nothing, I grinned at her and turned my eyes to the front.

My last class ended earlier than expected and I had almost an hour to kill before Sarah would be finished. I sat down on a bench going through my pile of study material when I got a strange feeling that someone was watching me. Looking up, I saw a group of students standing close by. One particular guy caught my eye. He was not part of the group but standing just behind them, leaning against a tree with folded arms and looking straight at me. His face had about two day’s of unshaven beard that spread along his jaw line, making his face look hard and rough, but suited him perfectly. His perfectly lined full lips were slightly parted, showing a few snowy-white teeth that lay beneath it. The grey sweater he wore did not hide his muscular body underneath. My eyes moved back to meet his, which were still locked on me. His pale complexion made his dark eyes and hair even darker. He narrowed his eyes a little and I realized that he was probably wondering why I was staring at him. Somehow I could not tear my eyes away from him, and even for his perfection it was his eyes that held my attention, feeling as if it was penetrating deeper every time it captured mine. Feeling very uncomfortable, I forced myself to quickly move my eyes away and let it rest on his chest. I took a disheartened deep breath when I realized that he had a magnetic hold over me and I was obviously not strong enough to fight it. As expected, I failed to keep my eyes on his chest and very slowly glided my eyes all the way up. I inhaled deeply when I saw that he was smiling at me. The normal reaction would be to smile quickly and then look away, but I kept staring. My face felt hot and I knew I was turning red. I suddenly realized that my mouth was hanging open and feeling like a moron, I closed it and swallowed. Luckily I wasn’t drooling; that would’ve been the cherry on top, I thought angrily.

Oh my gosh…I feel weird. How is it possible that he was able to captivate me so? As I was concentrating to fight my body’s reaction, I could feel that my heart’s rhythm was uncomfortably fast and my breathing uneven. Now I know what they mean when they say that ‘he takes your breath away!’

Even as I knew that I was making a fool of myself, I could not turn my eyes away from him. I was feeling so confused at this new experience and I was not able to explain it. I wanted to keep looking at him but at the same time was fighting to look away. Finally I succeeded to close my eyes but I was not relieved when I opened them after a while; I felt disappointed because he was gone. I searched the grounds for him but with no luck. I was actually shaking. I wasn’t cold though; it was impossible to feel any cold through my layers of clothing. This was surely the weirdest experience that I’ve ever felt. It scared me that I could so easily lose control.

I sighed and put my books down because I knew I would not be able to concentrate on them at that point. In the corner of my eye, I saw someone walking towards me — it was Neil. It was difficult to ignore his beautiful shock of golden hair.

Hi, I‘m Neil, he said, but before I could reply he continued, Mind if I sit?

I nodded smiling and moved up to make room for him to sit. Before either of us could say anything, a girl was coming from the back, moving around the bench, falling down onto it next to Neil. Wow, what was I thinking, studying law, ugh…first day and I already hate it! she leaned back and let her long red hair fall over the back part of the bench and then she closed her eyes. She either knew Neil or she felt very comfortable with strangers, I thought, watching her.

That bad huh? Neil asked, smiling.

The disgusting face that she pulled made me chuckle. She opened her eyes and looked at me. Oh, how rude of me, I haven’t introduced myself, she grabbed my hand and shook it. I’m Jenna.

Hi Jenna, I’m Amber, I said, looking back to Neil, realizing that I never gave him my name.

He smiled and whispered, Nice to meet you, Amber.

We grinned at each other and I saw a confused look on Jenna’s face. Not waiting for an explanation, she turned her blue eyes back to Neil and started complaining about a girl in her class. I didn’t pay much attention to her story because my thoughts were taking me back to the extraordinary stranger.

That was a first…not paying attention! What did he do to me? I’m usually not intimidated by good looks but there was something different about him…it wasn’t his good looks…it was the way he looked at me and captivated me!

Amber, Neil was tapping my arm, daydreaming? he grinned and Jenna had the same confused look as before.

What?… oh yeah, sorry, I gave them a smile, feeling ashamed for neglecting them.

Jenna was asking if you are going to the dance on Friday, Neil mentioned, looking hopeful.

Thinking about the stranger again, hoping that he would be there…

Yes, I think I’ll go.

Great! both replied simultaneously.

Something wet hit my head. Looking up, I saw that the sky has turned

from grey to black. The next drop hit me in the face. I grabbed my books and saw that Neil and Jenna did the same. We ran to the nearest building just in time as the sky opened its floodgates.

The rest of the week flew by quickly. Jenna waited every day at lunchtime for us in the cafeteria. I went with Neil and introduced him and Jenna to Paul and Paula. I chuckled when they had the same reaction as me. Sarah joined us once but she just greeted everyone in a friendly manner, not seeing the same humor in their names as we did. Neil was secretly flirting with Sarah and she didn’t notice that either. I could see that there was something on her mind.

Well…who is he? I finally asked, guessing that it could only be a guy who could put her in this dreamy state.

She gave me a wide smile You will meet him at the dance.

I haven’t seen the stranger since Monday and I really hoped that he would be at the dance.

Friday afternoon finally arrived. I stood in front of my closet, having no idea what to wear to the dance and I knew that by just staring at my clothes I would not be finished in time. It was difficult and frustrating to pick something that would make him notice me. I moved in front of the mirror, holding up a satin purple top in front of me, Ugh…no… I sighed, throwing the top onto the pile of clothes on the bed. I scowled at myself in the mirror for letting the stranger have this effect on me. What about Neil? I asked myself in the mirror, but silence was the only reply.

After a few tries, I finally chose a dark burgundy dress; it was casual but classy and flattering. The color of the dress complimented my hair, bringing out the rusty red in my dark brown hair. I let my hair hang loose, which covered the back low-cut part of my dress. There was a bit of my parents in me. My green eyes and dark auburn hair I got from my mother as well as her personality, according to my father, and my golden light brown complexion from the Spanish side of my father. Looking at myself in the mirror, I felt good.

A huge banner was hanging at the entrance, welcoming all the first years. The hall was decorated with strings hanging from the ceiling and there were colorful lights playing around the room.

Jenna, Neil, Paul and Paula were standing at the punch table, talking and looking at the people on the dance floor. Neil saw me and smiled. I returned the smile and moved over to them. I gazed over the dance floor. Sarah was dancing with…oh… he came. My stomach made an uncomfortable turn. He looked amazing in his dark blue jeans and his black shirt, which made him look even paler but still breathtaking…

The music stopped and Sarah, seeing me, waved.

He turned. His