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    Humorous Viewpoints
    Humorous Viewpoints
    Humorous Viewpoints
    Ebook48 pages43 minutes

    Humorous Viewpoints

    By David Chadderton

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    About this ebook

    Ever wondered what life would be like from a non-human point of view? Would dogs make better politicians? What would it be like to be a racing car track, a student lodging house, a brick, a telephone answering service, a hated emitter of carbon pollutants, or even a tire? Now you can find out.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherDavid Chadderton
    Release dateJan 5, 2011
    ISBN9781458116093
    Humorous Viewpoints
    Author

    David Chadderton

    Cycling, weightlifting, dog walking granddad, retired from mechanical engineering and lecturing, to write humour and novels.

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      Book preview

      Humorous Viewpoints - David Chadderton

      What’s it all about?

      Ever wondered what life would be like from a non-human point of view? Would dogs make better politicians? What would it be like to be a racing car track, a student lodging house, a brick, a telephone answering service, a hated emitter of carbon pollutants, or even a tire? Now you can find out.

      * * * * *

      Humorous Viewpoints

      David V Chadderton

      Published by:

      David V Chadderton at Smashwords

      Copyright 2010 by David V Chadderton, revised June 2011

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the author’s work.

      * * * * *

      Author’s Advice

      Humorous Viewpoints are anecdotes, a work of fiction entirely out of imagination of the author and is never a comment on any person or organization. If you are on a commuter journey, squeezed into an aluminum tube at subsonic speed, laid beneath a sunshade on a beach, or relaxing at home, just enjoy the laugh and make the author very happy. Language and spelling is English (USA)

      Humorous Viewpoints

      Table of Contents

      Chapter 1 Autodialed

      Chapter 2 Wendy for Prime Minister

      Chapter 3 Race Lost

      Chapter 4 Do Not Answer That Phone

      Chapter 5 Four Cylinders

      Chapter 6 Gym Junkie

      Chapter 7 Student Lodgings

      Chapter 8 Inside Outside

      Chapter 9 Tommy T

      * * * * *

      Chapter 1: Autodialed

      Ring, ring … ring, ring… click.

      ‘Hello is that … Marcus Ford?’ said the caller’s voice.

      ‘This is Marcus Ford. Who is calling?’ The telephone ringing interrupted nothing in the building.

      ‘… How are you today … Marcus Ford?’

      ‘Tell me your name,’ said the called respondent.

      ‘Good to know you … Marcus ...; my name is John, from your local telephone company. I offer you great savings on your mobile phone costs and give you a free latest model phone. It is an exceptionally valuable offer; would you like to hear more about that?’

      ‘… name not recognized; too many characters; spell it out please,’ insisted Marcus.

      ‘… A yes answer will save you a lot of your own money …Marcus… Respond, yes, and we can make a deal. Please say … yes.’

      ‘I heard you say your name is …Yes…, is that correct?’ said Marcus.

      ‘I heard you say, yes … Marcus … that is great; now we can move on to the details of a very special deal for you today. Just tell me your monthly mobile phone spend … Marcus,’ said John enthusiastically.

      ‘Response not understood. Is … Yes… your name?’ said Marcus.

      ‘…Marcus… please tell me your monthly mobile phone spend,’ insisted John.

      ‘State whether your call is for personal or business,’ said Marcus.

      ‘I need to know your monthly mobile phone spend on business and personal calls to be able to help you … Marcus… Give me a rough idea,’ said John, with admirable calmness.

      ‘Your call is for … business … What sort of business do you want to discuss? Say, 1 for banking, 2 for insurance, 3 for home services, or 4 for others,’ said Marcus with professional dignity.

      ‘I heard you say your monthly mobile phones

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