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    The Mechanics of Seduction and Death
    The Mechanics of Seduction and Death
    The Mechanics of Seduction and Death
    Ebook105 pages1 hour

    The Mechanics of Seduction and Death

    By Angela Mosley

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    About this ebook

    Upon whose flesh shall I claw your name? Erotic poetry, personal musings and photography. Sexually primitive, painful and fragile are my renderings. A dichotomy; fragile and powerful. My life's tale through a few words, all the damage created from death and strife; yet sexually powerful and awakened.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAngela Mosley
    Release dateFeb 27, 2011
    ISBN9781458156020
    The Mechanics of Seduction and Death
    Author

    Angela Mosley

    Angela Mosley is a writer and photographer, delivering an incredibly succinct story of survival in her first book, The Mechanics of Seduction and Death. The Mechanics of Seduction and Death is her unique life’s perspective in three parts; a memoir, poetry & musing’s and lastly her photography. While her story may seem tragic at first glance, her life perspective and direction is deepened with every heartbreaking event, turning tragedy into personal and spiritual growth, making it a point not to succumb to circumstances that were beyond her control. She is zealous about protecting innocence and sees beauty in the most unlikely of places. Her first love is writing, creating her first poem at the age of ten and showcasing some extraordinary pieces in her book. Photography was her next love and she has recently become enamored with night shooting, sharing a few of her favorite pieces in her first book release. A bit wild, a bit funny and sometimes a bit sad; she is a well rounded soul with a powerful message of hope while seeking happiness. A web addict, blogger, volunteer, food loving self declared geek who sometimes runs with scissors. The Mechanics of Seduction and Death is a powerful read and not for the faint of heart.

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      Book preview

      The Mechanics of Seduction and Death - Angela Mosley

      The Mechanics of Seduction and Death

      A Savage Art Production ©

      The Mechanics of Seduction and Death

      By

      Angela Mosley

      SMASHWORDS EDITION

      ® EDITION

      PUBLISHED BY:

      Angela Mosley on Smashwords®

      The Mechanics of Seduction and Death

      Copyright © 2011 by Angela Mosley

      ISBN 978-1-4581-5602-0

      Smashwords® License Notes

      All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise), without the prior written consent of the copyright owner, except for brief reviews.

      * * * * *

      This book is dedicated to the memory of my loving sister Beverly and her son Chase. I miss you dearly.

      * * * * *

      Cover design by Angela Mosley

      All photography by Angela Mosley

      * * * * *

      Prologue

      Evolution of Spirit

      How do you tell a story like the one I'm about to reveal to you? There is no right or wrong way. As I began to piece this book together at the beginning of 2011, it became clear to me that it was an organic living body of work, changing me as well. I've told and retold this story within these pages to convey the horror without adding unnecessary details and not wanting to prejudice the facts any more than I already do. It's impossible to be subjective ultimately, but I have tendered most of this from a factual standpoint versus an emotional perspective. As I've written my book, I've looked to reestablish (again) a relationship with my mom and my nephew, grasping at some reason why I shouldn't publish this. Not only did I not find a reason not to publish, I feel even more bound to share my nightmarish life.

      I know we all have horror stories and painful childhood memories, some worse than others, but I feel my story warrants telling; it just seems like so much trauma for one person to survive, and I do feel compelled to tell it.

      I've attempted on many levels to maintain a relationship with my mom but to no avail. There is always hope, and it feels wrong to deny any hope completely, yet hope adds to my pain of her rejection, hope, and pain in a symbiotic love affair. It is challenging for me to understand why she rejects me entirely, and I struggle in the face of her rejection. I very simply do not understand the how or why's of her motives.

      My biggest fear while writing this memoir is that I'm coming off as too whiney; it's hard to put into words how it makes me feel. I don't want to be seen as weak or as a victim, but sometimes as I read my own words, I fear that is precisely how it sounds. It is not my intention; my voice is the only one I have to tell my story.

      There is a certain and definable vacancy in my life.

      The material in this book is a brutally honest expression of my life experiences—a life wrought with multiple tragedies. I've been told the autobiographical parts are particularly hard, and that is the very reason I feel compelled to share my story. I lived it, well, survived it, but more importantly, overcame it, so it is difficult for me to know how it affects readers. Unfortunately, I have become accustomed to the memories as well as the pain. Over the years, many people have called me a survivor. I used to think it was a compliment and even took great pride in believing I was so strong that I survived. Now I know surviving is a strong word meaning to exist in harmful conditions. Merriam Webster's definition of survive: sur·vive verb \sər-ˈvīv\ sur·vived sur·viv·ing, Definition of SURVIVE, intransitive verb, 1: to remain alive or in existence: live on 2: to continue to function or prosper.

      No one would ever choose to just survive or exist in their childhood and young adult life. I would have chosen instead to have been supported with love and respect, had trust instilled within me, happiness, some scant resemblance of good versus so much bad. I would have rather lived my childhood versus having survived it. The negative impact our parents had on us is so layered, and to this day, I struggle to keep a firm grasp on not being their victim still. That is an almost impossible task; not a holiday goes by, a birthday, accomplishments, or when I need a parent's love and support; I just do not have it.

      Most of my family history is very difficult for me to express without coming off as a martyr or pathetic and used to truly devastate me in my everyday routines, the memories haunting. There are days I almost cannot believe this has been my history, my life. While the cliché' is true that what doesn't kill you makes you stronger, I had (yes, past tense) long fantasized about killing myself to put an end to the reality of my history, even being haunted by nightmares in my sleep. If it had just,

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