I Wouldn't Mind Having a Husband, I Just Don't Want to Be Somebody's Wife: The Single Woman's Guide to Self-fulfillment
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About this ebook
This book was written for the scores of single-never-been-married women who are desperately seeking marriage and will help them answer the following questions. Are you aware of what being married really means? Are you prepared for a husband? If you knew what it really meant to be a wife, would you still want it?
Excerpt: Taken from Section4
No one sets out in marriage contemplating a divorce. But, what if you did? Not in a morbid sort of way where you’re setting yourself up with a death wish (speaking to the death of a marriage) but, in a realistic way of thinking of an ‘every’ case scenario. Ask yourself, “How would this man treat me during a divorce?”
This is something most people don’t consider. And when the person you were supposed to love forever turns into public enemy number one, it’s difficult to process. When the man who was supposed to honor and cherish you is not only not wishing you well but is doing everything within his power to bring you down, it’s enough to literally change your outlook on life, love, and relationships. You lose faith in romance and commitment.
Say you pledged your life to a man who seems to be out to get you. The word “committed” will take on a whole new meaning—complete with straitjacket.
When you’re romantically involved in the beginning and still feeling the fluttering wings of butterflies in your stomach you would never guess that this same person would later call you out of your name, disrespect you in ways you would never imagine, plot against you, and sometimes even strike you.
If you pay attention, there are always signs early on. For instance, I was talking to a guy on the phone for the first time. We were introduced through one of my family members and he, too, looked good on paper. During this first conversation he tells me how much he hates his brother’s wife and then calls her a beyotch (the first time I’d ever heard the term). I knew at that moment, if not any other, he wasn’t the one for me. Any man that would think it okay to call a woman out of her name will one day think it okay to do the same to me. Eww! And how unattractive is that anyway?
It’s the little things in the beginning which lead up to the big things later. Small incidences that may not seem to mean much early on fester and grow into bigger things or make it easier to get to the more hurtful things.
By the time you reach the courtroom you are so used to saying ugly words that both of you are spitting out hateful retorts at each other and wondering how you got there when you once thought you were so in love.
Elaine Flowers
A retired salon owner and hair stylist of more than 20 years, Elaine Flowers is a native of Wichita, Kansas, but now resides in Dallas, Texas. Becoming a full time writer and published author in 2002, she released her first novel, Black Beauty in 2004. In 2007, after weeks of negotiations, this bestselling author came out of her self-imposed exile, and signed with Hollygrove Publishing joining the literary team headed by national Best Selling Author, Brian W. Smith. Because her readers had been clamoring for her next work, Elaine decided to give them more than they expected with, It’s Morning: Torn Lovers and Their Stories (2008) A book comprised of two novellas and one short story, each one has a love triangle with two men and one woman. The long-awaited Broken Appointments will be Ms. Flowers’ third work of fiction. Being released February 2011, this novel will be a spin-off of sorts with two of the characters from Black Beauty. Yes, more beauty salon drama. In the interim, this gifted writer is having great success with her first non fiction, I Wouldn’t Mind Having a Husband, I Just Don’t Want to Be Somebody’s Wife: The Single Woman’s Guide to Self-fulfillment. It is a self help book designed for single-never-been-married women who are egregiously seeking a husband. Elaine Flowers is a full time writer, discussion leader and freelance editor. It is her desire to create a dense body of work for those who enjoy her stories.
Read more from Elaine Flowers
M.G.T.O.W.: 10 Things Men Don't Do Anymore Rating: 1 out of 5 stars1/5It's Morning: Torn Lovers and Their Stories Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBlack Beauty Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Bigamist: A Story Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsBroken Appointments Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Disjointed Custody Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
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I Wouldn't Mind Having a Husband, I Just Don't Want to Be Somebody's Wife - Elaine Flowers
I Wouldn’t Mind Having a Husband, I Just Don’t Want to Be Somebody’s Wife
A Single Woman’s Guide to Self-fulfillment
Elaine FLOWERS
Before You Publish - Book PressContents
Title Page
Copyright Page
Dedication
Thank You
Table of Contents
Preface
Introduction
SECTION 1: Marriage Is a Calling
Section End
SECTION 2: What Are Your Examples Of Marriage?
Section End
SECTION 3: Marriage is for the Grown & Sexy
Section End
SECTION 4: The Divorce from Hell
Section End
SECTION 5: Single, Saved, and Sexually Satisfied
Final Questions
Summation of Sections
References
More from Elaine Flowers
I Wouldn’t Mind Having a Husband,
I Just Don’t Want To Be Somebody’s Wife
The Single Woman’s Guide to Self-fulfillment
Published by:
Before You Publish - Book Press
Addison, Texas
Published in the United States of America
Copyright © 2009 Elaine Garcia
All rights reserved. This e-book is not transferable. It cannot be sold, shared, or given away as it is an infringement on the copyright.
First Edition
E-Book (Online Download only)
Elaine Flowers is not a licensed therapist. Any advice, suggestions, or counsel given is purely the opinion of the author and based on her own personal experiences derived from interactions and a basic studying of people.
All examples given in the book are true accounts but names have been changed to protect the privacy of people or persons used to make points.
Dedication
This book is dedicated to the memory of a dear friend
and client,
Vikky Lynn Webb Overstreet
Thank You
A special thank you to the single, married, and divorced women who participated in a survey which assisted me with the writing of this book.
Additional thanks, and my deepest gratitude goes to:
EBM Professional Services
Ray Hodges Event Photography
Table of Contents
Introduction
Marriage is a calling
What are your examples of marriage
Marriage is for Grown Folks
The Divorce from Hell
Single, sexy and satisfied
References
Preface
To clear up any misconceptions that the title of this book may suggest let me preface my advice by saying what this book IS NOT about.
This is not a male-bashing book.
This is not an anti-marriage book.
This book is not
promoting any alternative lifestyles where
sexual orientations are concerned.
This book is not promoting adultery.
What you CAN look forward to getting is a clearer understanding on the desire to be married and the need to be in relationships involving the opposite sex.
Introduction
This book came out of a necessity that I felt my single-never-been-married women were crying out for. So many idealize marriage, I’m sure in the same way I did before I was married. For me, at a young age, the bubble burst, but women continue to hold on to the fairytale they’ve had for years.
I was a hairstylist for more than 20 years and had both mature and younger clients who over the years expressed their wishes on finding a husband and being married or even just finding that special someone. This seemed to be a constant topic of conversation with said women. I must add that many of my married clients often said If something ever happens to my husband, I don’t think I’ll ever get married again.
They didn’t regret, necessarily getting married but they wouldn’t rush to do it again.
Love and marriage do not necessarily coincide, but people assume they do. Understandably, it’s a logical assumption—you fall in love, you get married and live happily ever after. If only life were so simple.
Not only did many of my clients talk to me about men and relationships, they came to me eager to unload or sometimes get advice—the hairstyle was just a bonus treat. At the time I didn’t see these appointment times as counseling sessions but many of them were.
There was once an occasion when a client, Merylon sat in my chair and after I asked her how she wanted her hair styled, she burst into tears. This was early in my profession, not to mention I was young with little life experience. I asked her was she okay, not knowing really what else to say or do. She told me she had been diagnosed with cancer the day before.
Of course, I was at a loss for how to handle the situation. All I wanted was to begin shampooing her so I could get to the next client who would soon be coming. I fail to remember what I said to her. I do remember how bad I felt and how I didn’t really know an adequate way to express it. To make a short story shorter, her health faded fairly quickly and because of the discomfort I felt I never went to visit her as her health declined nor did I attend her funeral. I felt horrible and ashamed about the way I handled that for years. I didn’t even attend her funeral.
Since then, I’ve matured I know she understands my immaturity at the time and even forgives me if my actions offended her in any way. It took me a while to get there, but I did get there. And one of the things I came to learn is when clients come in, sometime it is just about the hairstyle but sometimes it’s about more. The hydraulic chair has strange effects on clients and can be likened to that of a therapist’s couch. It’s the feel of relaxation that causes them to let go and unload, or the increased trust factor—they trust you with their most prized possession (their hair) so they trust you with everything else. Maybe it’s both of those things.
Over time, I’ve listened