Killing Over Colors

KILLING OVER COLORS

by

Karen Malmin

Smashwords Edition

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Published on Smashwords by:

Karen Malmin

Killing Over Colors

Copyright 2011 by Karen Malmin

All rights reserved. Without limiting the rights under copyright reserved above, no part of this publication may be reproduced, stored in or introduced into a retrieval system, or transmitted, in any form, or by any means (electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise) without the prior written permission of both the copyright owner and the above publisher of this book.

This book is a work of fiction. All facets including characters, places and events are products of the author’s imagination. Any resemblance to actual people, business establishments, or events are strictly coincidental.

Smashwords Edition License Notes

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Table of Contents

Prologue

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7 | 8 | 9 | 10 | 11 | 12 | 13 | 14 | 15 | 16 | 17 | 18 | 19 | 20 | 21 | 22 | 23 | 24 | 25 | 26 | 27 | 28 | 29 | 30 | 31 | 32 | 33 | 34 | 35 | 36 | 37 | 38 | 39 | 40 | 41 | 42 | 43 | 44 | 45 | 46 | 47 | 48 | 49 | 50 | 51 | 52 | 53 | 54 | 55 | 56 | 57

Acknowledgments

About the Author

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Prologue

Gangs? Gang violence? We have all read about it in our local papers or seen it on the evening news but this doesn’t have anything to do with me or my life….

That is what I used to think…

•

I woke with a start, wondering where I was for a moment. I slowly opened my eyes and looked around the room. A room that always brought me comfort, a room I shared with the love of my life, my husband, Ivan. Unable to stop the tears running down my cheeks, I choked back a sob and pulled my comforter tightly around me; wishing it was all a bad dream but knowing it was real. I felt my head reeling and my heart pounding, trying desperately to take it all in. We are just an average family, I reminded myself, trying to live a normal, honest life. We have never intentionally hurt anyone. In fact, we have spent our lives trying to help the very same people that are now responsible for turning our lives upside down. It all began because of senseless gang violence. It is so hard to imagine anyone being so ruthless, without boundaries or regard for human life. Beating people senseless, killing because someone made your gang sign the wrong way, or you wore the wrong color or the bill of your hat was pointed in the wrong direction. Who would believe, to be initiated into a gang, you had to randomly kill someone or survive a brutal beating? This is insanity but I now know it is going on in most cities across the United States and has affected me personally. It has entered my home, my life.

I had to get up and get ready. I had to be at the courthouse at 9:00 AM. I wiped my tears away and started to pray.

Please sweet Jesus, let the judge have mercy. How did we get to this? I thought back to a very happy time when my baby boy was born.

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Chapter 1

Bernice stood over the stove making breakfast for her husband Ivan when she felt a sudden warm sensation between her legs. She looked down to see water starting to puddle around her feet. Somewhat alarmed she yelled, Ivan help me, I think the baby is coming!

Ivan was not a small man but as soon as he heard Bernice’s cry for help, he leaped out of his chair, tipping it over, and started running in circles until Bernice yelled, Ivan get me a towel!

Ivan ran and got the towel, brought it back to Bernice and she tucked it between her legs to prevent any more water from going all over the floor.

In a soft controlled voice, afraid to get Ivan any more rattled than he was, Bernice slowly said, Now Ivan, go get my bag from the bedroom and put it in the car.

I’m right on it Mama. Ivan ran, got the bag and put it in the car. He ran back into the house, taking two stairs at a time, to help Bernice down the stairs. While practically carrying her, he helped her into the car. The pains were 15 minutes apart and definitely more severe.

Bernice made a gagging sound as though she was going to be sick. When Ivan looked over at her, she was gritting her teeth with her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Are you alright Mama?, he asked, seeing the agonizing look on Bernice’s face.

They are getting worse Ivan, Hurry!

Bernice could feel the beads of sweat starting to drip down her brow. She tried not to hold her breath but it was very difficult to breathe normally. They were at least fifteen minutes away from the hospital and each time Ivan looked over at her, he started to sweat himself.

Breathe Mama, breathe.

I’m trying Ivan, she managed to answer in a barely audible voice. She grabbed her stomach, doubling over in pain, suddenly thinking her friend, Emma, lied when she said labor is not that bad. She would talk to her about that later.

Seeing his wife doubled over in pain, Ivan stepped on the gas thinking, I don’t need a ticket but I sure don’t want to deliver this baby by myself. He made it to the hospital in record time and the pains were seven minutes apart. The orderly got Bernice into a wheelchair and hurried down the hall to the first available birthing room. Ivan paced back and forth, wringing his hands and wiping the perspiration off his forehead, while they got Bernice prepped and the monitors hooked up.

Shouldn’t the doctor be here by now? Ivan asked the nurse in a noticeably edgy voice.

The doctor has been called and will arrive as soon as possible, she replied nonchalantly, having heard the same question in the same edgy voice thousands of times.

Ivan held Bernice’s hand and tried to help her breathe. He was desperately trying to remember what their friend Emma, who taught birthing classes, told them about counting and breathing.

Two hours passed since they arrived at the hospital and Bernice was in full labor when the doctor finally walked in. Ivan, who was normally very concerned about his appearance, was a total wreck. He looked as though he had been up all night, with his shirt pulled out of his pants on one side and only two out of the five buttons buttoned.

Raising her head Bernice looked at Ivan, Ivan please stop pacing, you are making me dizzy. The nurses smiled at each other trying to oppress their laughter. They were definitely glad to see the doctor, hoping this would curb Ivan’s pacing which only got in the way, not to mention it was the tenth time he had asked when the doctor would be there.

Grabbing Dr. Brails’ hand, shaking it harder than he intended and practically pushing him towards Bernice, Ivan said, Thank God Dr. Brail you are here. I truly thought I was going to have to deliver this baby myself.

Looking over his shoulder while being pushed, seeing Ivan’s nerves must look like the frayed end of a jump rope, Dr. Brail tried to calm him. You can relax Ivan. We are ready to give Bernice the epidural and she will be much more comfortable in a very short time. You should have a baby within the next twenty minutes, he assured him. This is actually quite fast for a first baby.

Not near fast enough for me, stated Ivan, as Bernice shot him an icy glare. Ivan's eyes widened and shot back and forth, as if to scan the room to see who heard him. He instinctively knew that was not the right thing to say to a woman in hard labor.

Dr. Brail smiled, This is not unusual for first time fathers, Ivan. It is true, women can definitely handle pain better than we men can; I have seen proof of it time after time.

The doctor nodded to the nurses letting them know it was time. One on each side of her they coached Bernice to give one last push while the doctor standing at the end of the bed was ready to receive the new life. Ivan, standing beside the Doctor, saw the head crest. It was the most amazing thing he had ever seen in his life. He let out a squeal.

Bernice concerned when she heard the squeal, raised her head as much as she could asking, What Ivan, What?

It’s our baby Bernice, It’s coming, It’s coming!

They had no idea what they were having, a boy or a girl, because the ultrasound test was expensive and they just couldn’t afford it. Ivan drove a bus and Bernice was a waitress before she got pregnant. Now they were surviving on one salary.

One more push, coached Dr. Brail. Bernice, clutching the nurses’ hand until the nurse feared it would break, pushed with all she had left and suddenly a beautiful baby boy bounced into the hands of the doctor.

Ivan was unable to speak. His eyes were like saucers, in awe of what he had just witnessed.

Congratulations Bernice. You have a beautiful baby boy, Dr. Brail reassured her, just as she heard the cry that was music to her ears.

Ivan and Bernice had already decided on a boy’s name. It would be Levi James Monroe, named after Ivan’s father James. The nurse got little Levi cleaned up, wrapped him tightly in a receiving blanket and handed him to Bernice. It was her turn to look in wonderment at this little miracle.

•

Bernice and Ivan met one morning when she was starting her new job at the Restaurant in the Holiday Inn in down town Los Angeles. She was waiting for bus #8. Bernice boarded the bus and handed the bus driver her pass. They smiled at each other and their eyes locked for a brief moment. Bernice was 5’6 with a slim build. She had flawless light brown skin, dark brown eyes and a smile that lit up a room. Ivan was 6’7, 260 lbs of solid muscle. His skin was smooth and a darker shade of brown with almost black eyes. Bernice could not help notice gentleness in his eyes and his great big smile. They started talking while Bernice sat behind the driver’s seat. They both knew there was a connection from the moment their eyes met.

At the end of the second week, Ivan asked Bernice if she would like to go to dinner that Friday night and she accepted without hesitation. They arrived at the restaurant Ivan had chosen, a little café known for its down home southern cooking. It had intimate little tables with candles and adorn with red and white checkered tablecloths and matching napkins. On the walls hung memorabilia of years gone by and they both recognized items that their grandparents had in their own homes. It had a warm comfortable homey feel. There was soft jazz playing in the background making it feel as if you were in a little restaurant in New Orleans on Bourbon Street.

How did you know this is one of my favorite places? asked Bernice.

Really it is your favorite? I wish I could honestly say I knew that, but I am delighted that you love it because it is my favorite place too.

They talked about where they grew up and where they attended school.

What was your favorite subject? asked Bernice.

My favorite subject was P.E., he answered with a huge grin then added, but I was actually very good in English.

Holding her wine glass with both hands she studied him for a moment, English was my favorite subject, she added, returning the grin.

As they continued talking they were both amazed at how much they had in common from music to movies and books they had both read. They continued talking nonstop. It was never difficult to keep the conversation going; both knew first dates could be awkward if you did not have much in common. From that night on, they were inseparable.

Ivan asked Bernice to marry him one year after they met and both their families were very happy to join as one.

They had a very simple wedding, inviting just close friends and family. They were married in their local church. The reception was at Bernice’s grandmothers and everyone joined in to help with the food. Bernice’s mother made the wedding cake, which was beautiful; and Ivan’s dad was in charge of taking pictures. It was simple, but a day they would never forget. Six months passed and Bernice and Ivan were very happy in their marriage.

•

One morning, after Ivan left for work, Bernice went into the bathroom to use the pregnancy test she bought the day before at the pharmacy. She decided she didn’t want to say anything to Ivan until she was sure. She had been having some queasiness in the mornings and had missed one period; that, in itself, was not unusual, so she decided to get the pregnancy test to find out for sure. She laid everything out in front of her sat down on the commode and read the directions. She systematically followed every word. If it turned green, it was positive. As she waited, she tried to keep busy around the house until she could check the results. She vacuumed, dusted, baked an apple pie and cleaned up the kitchen. Time seemed to be going by more slowly than usual. Looking at the clock on the wall in the kitchen for the tenth time, she decided, it was time. She took a deep breath before she walked through the bathroom door. She stared at the stick, lying on the bright, white towel on the counter. She slowly walked across the room, picking up the stick with anticipation. It could not have been a brighter shade of green. She stood staring at it as though it might change colors, she blinked and looked again, and no, it was still a very bright shade of green. As though having to convince herself, she set it down and picked it up again. It had not changed it was still bright green. Finally convinced it was not going to change colors, she placed her hand on her stomach and started gently rubbing in small circles. All she could do was smile as tears of joy streamed down her cheeks and onto her apron.

•

Bernice prepared Ivan’s favorite dinner, pot roast with potatoes, carrots, and rich brown gravy. She set the table with her best dishes and waited for Ivan to come home from work. When she heard his car, she looked at the table making sure she had not forgotten anything and quickly lit the candles. She smiled and clenching her hands tightly, she gave a gesture that said, Yes! Everything is perfect and quickly walked towards the door to greet Ivan.

Ivan walked in hung his jacket on the hook just inside the door and kissed her hello. Upon seeing the table with candles, he turned to Bernice,

What’s the occasion Mama? I know I didn’t forget our anniversary and it’s not my birthday.

I think you better sit down Ivan, she said raising one brow.

He looked at her with curiosity and sat down at the dinner table.

Ivan, you know how we have talked about someday expanding our family?

Ivan slightly cocked his head, looked up at Bernice and with one eye closed said,

Mama… did you buy us a dog? he grinned.

No, I didn’t buy a dog Ivan! she laughed and slapped him playfully on the shoulder.

Ivan got a grin as big as a Cheshire cat. He jumped out of his chair, put his arms around Bernice’s waist and swung her around.

Are you telling me we are going to have a baby? he said with excitement that he could not contain.

Yes Ivan, I took the home pregnancy test this morning and it was definitely positive, she squealed jumping up and down.

Oh Mama, you have made me the happiest man in the world, and he kissed her gently on the lips. Bernice knew he would be happy, but it was clear looking into Ivan’s eyes he was ecstatic.

You shouldn’t be jumping, sit down Mama. Do you need anything? Are you feeling okay? Maybe you should put your feet up.

Ivan, relax! I am fine. I am feeling wonderful except for a little morning sickness and that is perfectly normal.

Now here they were nine months later looking down at their precious baby boy.

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Chapter 2

While Bernice and Ivan prepared for the evening in the hospital with their new son, in the next room was another family waiting for the birth of their baby.

•

Courtney and John Delany Chandler II had arrived at the hospital twenty-four hours before Bernice and Ivan. Courtney had been in hard labor for sixteen hours and was exhausted. Dr. Sheppard arrived and ordered Courtney an IV to help speed up the dilation. Her blood pressure was rising and they feared stress on the baby’s heart. Dr. Sheppard told John and Courtney if this did not work within the next hour they would have to perform a cesarean section. Forty-five minutes later, Dr. Sheppard came back into the room with a very solemn look. His glasses were sitting on the end of his nose as he read at the chart. John and Courtney were waiting with baited breath as he removed his glasses and said, Courtney I am happy to tell you that you are finally ready to deliver your baby and a cesarean section will not be necessary.

Courtney let out a big sigh of relief without saying a word, the extended labor taking its toll, leaving her little energy.

John was from a military background and knew pain, but nothing prepared him to watch his wife in this kind of agony. Every contraction was more severe and lasted longer. He could see the fear in her eyes anticipating the next one being worse than the last but having no control to stop it. He looked at her, feeling helpless. Wiping her brow, he said, breathe baby, I know it’s hard but try to breathe. I was just thinking about the nursery. We had a lot of fun didn’t we? He continued conversation trying to distract her from her pain.

She managed a very weak reply. We did didn’t we, as she looked at him forcing a small smile which tugged at his heart.

It won’t be long now baby and we will have our precious JD or Sophia to hold. They decided if it were a boy, it would be John Delany Chandler the III. To avoid confusion they would call him JD. If it were a girl, it would be Sophia Elaine Chandler. They were in full agreement that they did not want to find out the sex of the baby until it was born.

•

It was time, the doctor ordered Courtney to push and with her last ounce of strength, she did. John had told Courtney it did not matter to him if it were a boy or a girl as long as it was healthy but she knew secretly he so wanted a son. When Courtney saw the grin on John’s face, she knew she had just given birth to his son. She didn’t need anyone to tell her. He was perfect in their eyes. Dark hair like his father, with skin that looked already tanned, unlike his blonde fair skinned blue-eyed mother. John looked at him with such pride. He handed his son to his mother and kissed them both. Courtney fed her new son and was soon fast asleep.

John sat holding JD and staring at his beautiful wife, who had just made him the happiest he had ever been.

•

When Courtney woke, they had soup and tea ready for her along with juice she had requested. After she ate, the nurse informed her they wanted her to take a short walk.

So soon? She asked.

I’m afraid so Mrs. Chandler, they don’t want any clotting and the sooner you are up the better. It will just be a short walk to the nursery and back. With John on one side and the nurse on the other, Courtney slowly walked out of the room and down the hall. JD was in the nursery while being checked out and they were anxious to see him. She stopped when they got to the nursery and thought, what little miracles all of these little lives are," when she heard someone say,

Which one is yours? She turned to see Bernice smiling at her.

Mine is the one with the blue blanket in the front row. Which one is yours? As she said it, she looked at Bernice and they both burst out laughing, because it was obvious Levi was the only African American baby in the nursery at the time.

I’m sorry, said Courtney. That was a stupid question.

It’s ok, said Bernice, I’m glad you didn’t see a difference.

Later that day they met again. They talked for quite some time about the joy a child brings and their aspirations for their new sons.

Ivan said it didn’t matter if it was a boy or a girl but I knew deep down he wanted a son.

I know Bernice, John said the same thing but I could tell from the look on his face it was a boy before they even told me. They are little miracles aren’t they Bernice.

Yes they are. Now our journey begins. It is a huge responsibility raising a child. You hear so many stories about children going astray. Ivan drives a bus and unfortunately it is in gang territory and he comes home with some very scary stories. I wonder how those children get so off the track. I believe the biggest thing we can give them is love and understanding.

I couldn’t agree more Bernice. I am a child psychologist and my husband John is an attorney and handles many abuse cases, so we have seen the ugly side of life. I know they need discipline as well but looking down at those innocent little faces it is hard to believe we will ever have to discipline them.

Ohhh… I should get that on tape Courtney and play it back to you someday. Don’t let those little faces fool you. Bernice had Courtney laughing hysterically when the nurse walked in to let them know it was feeding time. Bernice said goodbye to Courtney and went back to her own room to feed Levi. Courtney smiled as she thought about her new friend. There was something so refreshing and honest about her. She really enjoyed their conversations.

Despite the fact that Bernice and Courtney came from very different walks of life, Bernice from a hard working, middle-income family and Courtney from a very affluent family, with all life had to offer, they shared a bond that day that they would always remember.

•

Bernice was ready to leave the hospital. The nurse came in with last minute instructions for nursing and caring for their newborn. Ivan and Bernice both listened intently and had many questions for the nurse. They were admittedly a little nervous about their first night home with their new son.

What if he isn’t eating enough? How will I know if he has had enough to eat? asked Bernice.

Trust me, he will let you know if he is hungry, the nurse assured them.

What if we don’t hear him when he wakes up in the night?

The nurse smiled and said, Babies aren’t that considerate. They do not allow you to sleep through their requests. Those little lungs are powerful organs. They are adorable but demanding at the same time and they will let you know what they need. Just remember if they are crying they are trying to tell you something. Usually they are telling you they are hungry, tired or they need to be changed. Sometimes they may have a little gas on their tummies and need patting on their backs until it is relieved. The nurse left to get the wheel chair and instructed Ivan to get the car and meet them at the front entrance. Bernice sat in the chair while the nurse handed her Levi who was dressed in his football outfit complete with cleated booties, Ivan had splurged on, and they headed out the door.

Please stop for a moment, Bernice asked, I would like to say goodbye to Mrs. Chandler.

The nurse noticed whenever she entered Bernice or Courtney’s room; the two mothers were usually deep in conversation or laughing hysterically and seemed to have created a close bond. She was happy to oblige. She gently opened the door to Courtney’s room and saw she was awake.

There is someone here to see you Mrs. Chandler.

Please come in, replied Courtney, and she smiled when she saw her wheel Bernice, holding Levi in her arms, into the room.

I just wanted to say goodbye and wish you and John and JD well.

Oh Levi looks adorable. I am so glad you stopped in before you left. I was afraid you had already gone and I didn’t get a chance to say goodbye or tell you how much I enjoyed our talks. Do you have a piece of paper and pen? Courtney asked of the nurse.

Of course, said the nurse, I will get one for you.

On her return, Courtney wrote her phone number for Bernice, I hope we can get together and talk some more one day soon.

Bernice also wrote her number and handed it to Courtney. I would like that very much, she answered with a broad smile.

Time to go Mrs. Monroe, your husband should have the car out front waiting. They waved goodbye and headed to the elevator.

Ivan parked out front, waiting for them. He was anxious to load Levi into his car seat and take his new son and Bernice home. They thanked the nurse and she told them,

Remember, we have a pediatric hot line for new parents, so if you have any questions or concerns please call. That was just the reassurance Bernice and Ivan needed as they drove off.

On the way home Bernice told Ivan she had stopped to say goodbye to Mrs. Chandler. I have to say Ivan I really enjoyed my conversations with her. Even though they come from money Ivan, I can tell they are real good people and not snobby. She is a child psychologist and works with abused children and he is an attorney and defends victims of abuse. They love kids Ivan I know that for sure. She was so easy to talk with. She wanted my phone number Ivan, she wants to get together and talk some more.

Well I am glad you enjoyed yourself Bernice but don’t get your hopes up that you will hear from her again.

Turning to face Ivan, Bernice said, I know what you are thinking Ivan, but those people are real down to earth people.

Looking straight ahead at the road Ivan answered, Okay, okay, I just don’t want you to have expectations, that may not happen is all I am saying. He did not want anything or anyone hurting his family.

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Chapter 3

John Chandler left late that morning to go to the office. He was a family law attorney and was in the middle of a case that required a great deal of time. He returned as soon as possible to find his wife talking to their son. Courtney didn’t hear him come in. She was telling JD what a wonderful life he was going to have, and how much love he would have from so many people. John felt as though he were eavesdropping but he couldn’t help but continue listening, thinking the whole while what a wonderful mother Courtney was going to be.

They met during one of John’s cases. Courtney was a child abuse counselor and