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    You Won't Believe This But ...
    You Won't Believe This But ...
    You Won't Believe This But ...
    Ebook81 pages1 hour

    You Won't Believe This But ...

    By Carl Reader

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    About this ebook

    These short stories are about people behaving and perceiving badly ... a young man drives women out of existence when he disrobes them ... a toddler wants to stab her mother after what's she's seen in the bedroom and on TV ... a clever bartender and waitress outwit a dangerous ex-con ... a sexually frustrated editor finally gets the man she wants ... an athlete on steroids gets away with violent justified revenge.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherCarl Reader
    Release dateMay 30, 2011
    ISBN9781458103673
    You Won't Believe This But ...
    Author

    Carl Reader

    Carl Reader trained as a journalist at Temple University and has worked as a reporter, photographer and editor in Pennsylvania, New Jersey and Montana. He's published short stories in literary magazines and on the Internet and has self-published a children's Christmas story called THE TWELFTH ELF OF KINDNESS.That book was partially published in Russia under the Sister Cities program. He's also self-published a novella called THE PERSECUTION OF WILLIAM PENN, which has been well-received in several college libraries. He works as a professional photographer and freelance writer.

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      Book preview

      You Won't Believe This But ... - Carl Reader

      You Won’t Believe This But …

      By

      Carl Reader

      Smashwords Edition

      Copyright 2011 Carl Reader

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return it to smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author. All characters in these stories are purely fictional. Any resemblance to any person, living or dead, is strictly coincidental.

      Table of Contents

      Two Eggs Attract

      When Daddy Gets Home

      The Criminal Mind

      The Good Son

      A Bat, a Ball, and a Needle

      The Passion of Bigfoot

      Two Eggs Attract

      For as long as he could remember, he wanted to take off women’s clothes. Perhaps it came from those nights as a child when he watched his mother taking off her clothes and putting on her nightgown down the hall in the bathroom. He’d lie on the floor in his room with his head peeking out into the hallway with his ear pressed to the hardwood and see his mother getting totally naked. He watched her for several weeks until she noticed him spying on her and she absolutely shrieked at him, just shrieked at his intrusion. Only bad little boys watch their mothers do that. Only bad boys do. Do you only ever want to be a bad little boy? After that, she undressed with the door closed, and gave him several strict admonishments never to attempt to see her naked again. He was five years old and it was quite some time until he saw another woman naked, even though he had sisters. An innocent and good boy, he thought he wasn’t supposed to see women naked, when for most males it was the substance of life.

      It seemed like forever until he saw his next naked woman. In the hot summer, in those days before air conditioning, his friend, Jeff, said his mother walked around the house naked all day. Jeff did him a favor. One afternoon, he did not tell his mother that his friend was there and she burst fully naked into the living room where they were resting from baseball with ice water. She was startled, and kind of backed up, which made her breasts bounce up, and she screamed at Jeff that he was always to tell her when his friends were in the house. Jeff smirked. His mother retreated with what he thought was a deliberate slowness. Jeff, it seemed, saw his mother naked all the time.

      Although this second incident with a naked woman was not one in which he watched or participated in the taking off of a woman’s clothes, it counted toward his strong personal desire to disrobe females. As a child, he had no opportunities to express either his frustrations or his will to take off women’s clothes. He was simply not up to the task at such a young age. As he aged, his desire to disrobe women grew stronger, even though he knew such activity was wicked. He became friends with three sisters who lived down the road. Elena was his age, fifteen; the middle girl, Cost, was fourteen; and the youngest girl, Eileen, was thirteen. On some days, his two sisters would join in their play and he had terrible wanderings in imagination of what the six of them could do without clothes, there among the maple trees in the neighbor’s back yard, but on most days he played alone with the three sisters. Elena, he heard, had said she was going to marry him when they grew up. This made him believe she would be the one most likely to allow him to disrobe her, but then one afternoon the youngest sister invited him into her room. Jealousy is a powerful thing, and she was jealous of her older sister.

      Why don’t you come in here by yourself?

      The curtains were drawn; the door was locked. He understood her intentions immediately, intentions to out-do her sisters at something she didn’t quite understand, and he willingly indulged his participation in the sibling rivalry. Without a word, he faced her and reached for the hem of her sweater. He lifted the garment over her head. He was trembling: he was finally disrobing a female. An immense breath of relief swept over him: she had sighed. It was like wind. She had on a white bra, and as though a natural at disrobing women, he unhooked it and let it fall to the floor. His passion shook him. A little groan filled the air from her lips. She had already removed her shoes and socks, and she simply stood there in the dark, waiting for him to proceed. He wondered why she did not touch him, attempt to disrobe him. Too impassioned to worry, and again expertly, he unbuttoned her pants. He pulled them down to the floor, and when he stood up to take hold of his prize, she was gone.

      This angered him immensely, for it seemed females were always admonishing him in some way when he finally got them naked.

      Eileen? Please don’t hide. If you hide, I’ll go to Elena’s room and take off her clothes. I swear I will, and she told me to come in and do it to her anytime.

      But the room was too small for the girl to hide anywhere successfully, and there was just enough light seeping into it from around the curtains that he would have seen her no matter where she stood or sat or lay. The door was still locked.

      Eileen?

      He spun slowly in a full circle, but nowhere was she to be seen or touched or felt. No teasing giggle filled the air. He thought her shyness had led her to disappear, but then a stranger thing happened. As he completed the full circle, he saw her clothes disappearing from their spots on the floor, one garment at a time. They simply dissipated to nothingness as he watched. First pants. Then underwear. Sweater. Bra. All became non-existent as he watched in terror. Fearing some mad and wicked thing was happening, he raced for the locked door, but that did not save the situation. As he turned the knob to free himself, the room became bare. All of its furniture simply disappeared in a flash, as though an explosion of silent gun powder had taken it. He escaped the room just in time as the whirlwind of non-existence raced toward him, and he slammed closed the door

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