Beautiful

Reflections

The steam rose from the glass shower and fogged the mirrors over the double vanity. The mist collapsed, creating tears that slid down the slippery mirrored surface. This was her place of retreat, her magical, relaxing getaway that she used to cope when life dealt her painful blows. She spent more time in her bathroom than any other room in her condo. The past six months had been beyond crazy, to say the least. She spent the last thirty days drowning her misery in the bottom of several bottles of Mascato, and now she had nowhere left to run.

She let her body go limp, and slid down the small glass tiles of her shower wall, mentally exhausted. The water moved through her long brown and blonde hair, reverting back to its natural curly form. She breathed in, and then exhaled heavily, forcing the water from her lips to fly across the shower stall. Tears mixed with water, flowing from her eyes with each blink, as she pulled her soaking wet her hair off her face. Forcing herself to stand up, she slowly exhaled, planting a vague smile on her face.

Tonight was one of her closest friend’s events, a White Ball. The invite came in the mail over six months ago. She was excited to attend when she received the invite. But now she was not mentally ready to go out and face the press, her friends, or business associates that would surely be in attendance. But her good friend, Vito called and said he was not going to allow her to sit this event out. He let her know a limo would be picking her up in about an hour, and she needed to be ready.

She was trapped.

She had to go.

"What am I going to do if he is there? she mumbled aloud. I hate myself for the way I treated him."

She turned off the water, and stepped out of the shower onto the brown bath rug just outside the shower stall. She reached for her plush oversized leopard print bath towel, quickly dried her hair and then wrapped her curvaceous body in it. Her body was trembling, as reached up and wiped the mirror with her hand, revealing her distressed reflection. Standing still for a moment staring at herself, warm tears began to flow down her cheeks, free falling through the air, into the sink basin below.

I’m such a baby, she revealed wiping her face. How could I have been so stupid, so blind? Why didn’t I listen?!

Taking one last look at her reflection, cold droplets began to fall from her curly locks down her back. She reached for a second towel and wrapped her hair in it, before leaving her bathroom.

Walking into her adjoining master bedroom she sat on the edge of her wooden, four-poster, canopy bed and scanned the barely lit room. Lying on her bed were two white garment bags containing gowns. One she had just purchased a few months prior. The other a dress she received as a gift. She allowed her body fall backwards on the bed, and released a loud sigh as her body met the leopard print comforter.

Six months ago, she would never have believed that today, on the evening of the city’s biggest event, she’d be this distraught. She never would have thought she’d ever treat Qu the way she did. Six months ago she was on top of the world. Her career was on a fast track to the top. She had great friends around her that she trusted and who loved her. Most importantly, all her secrets were safely hidden in her mind and now… now everything was upside down.

Conceding to the fact that she had no choice, she rose up from the bed with a heavy sigh. She dragged her feet across the floor, over to her dresser and pulled out the undergarments then turned knowing she had a difficult decision to make…

Picking which dress to wear.

It was Showtime.

I’m Late… Shoot I’m always late.

(Six months earlier)

Tierra was always in a hurry. No matter how early she woke up each morning, she just seemed to fill up any extra time she had either with an extra-long luxurious shower, or she’d sit in her Japanese Soaking Tub , which she nicknamed her ‘ Jacuzu ’, until her skin resembled a wet prune.

It was Monday morning though, the first day of her work week. Usually Monday’s for her were great! Tierra couldn’t wait to get into the office. It was the only place she felt at home. Today though, she was for a reason unknown to her, she was stuck deep in thought. From the time she jumped up from her deep sleep, yelling the name of an old friend she hadn’t seen in at least a year, till now, nearly thirty minutes later, she hadn’t really truly woken up. She stood in the middle of her bedroom in a mental fog.

Whose there? she called out, turning her head around so fast her neck cracked. She was positive she’d heard someone call her name. Taking less than baby steps, and holding onto the side of her neck, she crept towards her bedroom door, barely peeking around its wooden frame.

You might want to rethink this, she said as her voice went an octave higher and cracked, I have a gun, she lied to the would be intruder, then held her breath to make sure her breathing didn’t interfere with her ability to hear any possible sounds.

Going against `the black girl rule book’, she did what most people scream at the TV for during scary movies… she made her way out of the safety of her bedroom, and down the hallway towards where she thought she heard the voice. When she reached the end of the hallway, she had full view of what she called her grand room . She scanned back and forth between the open kitchen on her right, and the dinning/living room areas to her left. Everything was as she had left it the night before. She didn’t see anything or anyone to give her cause for alarm.

Tierra, you’re bugging out girl! Ain’t no one in this house but you, she laughed lightly, trying to calm her nerves as she turned to enter the kitchen. She turned on her Keurig coffee maker, reached up and pulled the stainless knob on to open the glass front, mahogany cupboard and grabbed her favorite black and turquoise coffee mug. As she pulled it out of the cupboard, she felt a presence behind her. Instinctively she ducked, turned around as quick as she could, and threw the mug she held at… no one.

Her chest rose and fell rapidly, as though she had just finished a 10K marathon. She grabbed at her chest, her body beginning to perspire.

I’m going crazy, that’s it, physically shaken from head to toe, she faced the open room, reached behind her back and unplugged her Keurig machine. With her back flush to the counter, she made her way over to the pantry closet, and pulled out the broom and dustpan. Quick as she could she rushed over and picked up the shattered pieces from the floor. After replacing the items in the closet, and empting the broken mug in the trash, she slithered against the wall, down the hallway into her bedroom. Just as she entered the room the phone rang causing her to jump and scream. She breathed heavily, before she picking up the receiver.

Who… who is it? she asked cautiously.

Tierra, you ok?

Shireece, is that you? Tierra questioned, wanting to be sure who was on the other end.

Yeah it’s me. What’s wrong, are you ok? You sound like your upset or something.

Tierra paused, though she and Shireece went back to elementary school, she wondered if she should say disclose the fact that she thought she heard someone calling her name when there was actually no one there.

Tierra, do you want me to come down there? Can you talk… is someone there? she was now concerned. She quickly crammed her feet into her sneakers as she waited for a response.

Huh, no, no… I’m ok. No one is here, she took a deep breath before continuing, Today has been one of those days where you wish you could go back to sleep and wake up again. I woke up with Aquarian on my mind; in fact I was yelling his name as I jumped up out my sleep. Then it felt like someone had invaded my body, I was stuck standing still in the middle of my bedroom. That is, until I could have sworn I heard someone say my name.

What? Was there anyone there? Open your door, I’m about to step onto the elevator, Shireece’s chest was now beating faster than a new born baby’s. She was making her way towards her front door, mace in hand ready to assist the closest thing she had to a sister, in any way she could.

Girl please, I’m just being a baby. I mean, no one is here. I’m fine.

Shireece, paused, Are you sure Ti’, it’s not a problem you know. Sean is already gone to work.

Tierra chuckled, when wasn’t Sean at work. Dang girl, how does that man expect you two to have a baby if he is never home to make one?

They both shared a laugh, which is just what Tierra needed to calm her nerves.

True, but you know with all that is going on at the end of the year, he is pulling in all these extra hours hoping to still have a job. The buzz is either there is going to be some major layoffs, or a major promotion. You know Sean doesn’t really care about a promotion, but he would die if he was laid off.

True that, you’ve got yourself one of the few good ones left out there Shi’. So… have you talked to him about you hitting the studio?

Oh no girl, no way. You know how he feels about that. He will never change his tune with regards to me and any studio. He truly believes that the church choir should be enough for me. After all, I am singing for the Lord, she sighed solemnly. Maybe he’s right, I mean, maybe this desire is just the enemy trying to cause division in my marriage.

"Now you know… I don’t go to anybody’s church, so I have no thoughts on that. Except to say this, way back when, before you two began to date, you dreamed of being a singer, of having a record deal and all for the Lord. It wasn’t until you started dating Sean that those dreams began to die out. You didn’t put the fire out Shi’, Sean did!

Well anyway, Shireece said rolling her eyes, trying to change the subject, are you ready for work yet?

Huh, oh shoot, all this weird stuff going on this morning… let me get off this phone, imma be late yet again!

You better be glad you pull in the big clients, or Mr. Baxwell might just replace you.

Yea, well I have increased his company’s net worth a good 10 fold, so he tolerates me. But I really should start to set a good example at some point, she smiled inside knowing she had the upper hand at work and everyone else knew it as well.

So, when are we going to go shopping for gowns for Vito’s ball?

The usual day and time works for me.

Cool, if I don’t see you before then, God bless.

Thank you, Tierra was the one rolling her eyes now. She found it funny how Shireece always found a way to add God into their conversations, knowing full well Tierra had no interest in talking church.

The two friends hung up their phones and Tierra went to getting herself ready for work. She walked into her master bathroom that she had upgraded three months after she was handed the keys to the condo. The builder grade material that had been used was just not going to cut it for this diva.

The bathroom now had a dark Chocolate stained seven-foot dresser that was cut into two pieces. One end was two-feet wide and shortened to serve as a make-up area. The other five-feet wide, housed two pewter bowls turned into sink basins to form her double vanity. Two matching square mirrors hung on the wall above each vanity, and one over the make-up area as well, with pewter light fixtures hanging over each mirror. In the corner of the bathroom in between a huge window was her pride and joy, her Jacuzu , surrounded by champagne colored walls.

She took space from her walk-in closet to add a stand-alone glass enclosed shower, with an overhead rain shower head and built in Teak seating for two, though no one but Tierra ever sat on it. Her intense candle collection sat on built in turquoise painted shelves, and a built in IPod system with speakers built into the ceiling, finished off the upgraded features. She had all she ever wanted, all she ever needed… or so she tried to convince herself.

It was nine in the morning when she woke, and it was now just after ten, so she knew she would not make it to work until after eleven o’clock. So she called her secretary Terri, to make sure she knew to cover for her if Mr. Baxwell asked where she was. After she hung up, she turned the faucet on in her Jacuzzi’, and poured a capful of her special bath oil mix into the stream.

"Oh yeah, the file EZ Mike sent me," she said, pressing and releasing the search button on the IPod. She noticed a file entitled, Play this one first. She pressed and released the button to play the track. As it began, she recognized the voice as an artist she had met at Organix Soul The artist’s name was Raiinsongwriter and track was entitled, Caramel.

She closed her eyes and listened to the soulful sounds of the young woman’s voice. She pulled the straps on her chemise off her shoulders and allowed the flimsy material to fall loosely to the floor. Avoiding her reflection as she passed the mirror, she gripped the sides of the white tub and sank into it, with a sigh of relief.

Tierra stood about five foot three inches, one hundred and forty pounds, with a clear, smooth, vanilla caramel complexion. She was anything but a skinny woman. Quite the contrary, she was curvaceous in all the right places. At least that’s what she had been told by many a hopeful suitor. Her natural brown, sun-kissed hair fell just between her shoulder blades that would curl up at the slightest hint of moisture in the air. She hated it and blamed it on the Cuban blood in her that came from her father. Her most attractive features were her sparkling, hypnotizing, honey colored eyes, and a smile that could make the biggest player stop dead in his tracks, speechless. Yet inside, she was very self-conscious. On the outside, she was the perfect picture of the confident, strong woman she had yet to realize she truly was.

I’m going to have to send Mike a huge thank you gift, she thought, reaching over to the stainless tub basket that straddled her tub. She pulled out her body wash, and favorite gold colored body puff ready to begin her daily ritual. After washing up, she closed her eyes and let the music drift her already crazy morning away. After about fifteen minutes of steam, bubbles, and the fantasy guy she meets regularly, she was yanked back into reality by the sound of her phone ringing.

Dang, who could this be? she complained, hopping out of the tub, bubbles latching onto her body like a child to his mom, on the first day of pre-school. She grabbed her towel and rushed into the bedroom, and picked up the phone, while sitting on the edge of her bed.

Rodriquez here...

What’s up Tia’wanna? a smooth, deep Caribbean voice sang.

No way… Aquarian? she asked hesitantly. She was more than surprised that she woke up calling out his name, and now he was on the other end of her phone. Can you say weird? Qu, is that really you? Where the hell you been man? she finally continued, smiling ear-to-ear from the safety of her bedroom.

Yes, it’s me. I was working out in Cali for a spell, but I’m back. How’s the biz? As if I had to ask. I’ve been hearing your name all over the place. I guess things are going well.

You know me.

Yeah, you were always a hard worker, even in school. So, umm, I was calling because you haven’t called me, and so I was worried you hadn’t received my package?

Called you? Wait… package, what package? I haven’t received anything from you.

I sent it to your place.

My place, and how did you get my new address? she questioned, as if she didn’t know the answer.

"Calm down chica! I’m over at ViFlaa Entertainment now. Vito and I are officially partners. He wanted to send the area’s hottest rep an invite to the White Ball. You know your boy Vito, he had to do it big. When he told me the company that they were at, I was like, No way , I knew it had to be you. You should have seen his face when I confirmed it. The man nearly fell out of his chair. Don’t the two of you talk? he laughed. Besides, he paused, you know Mama Rodriquez would tell me anything about you if I asked," he finished his thought with a sly smirk on his face, rubbing his chin like he knew he was the man, which he was.

That’s true. She loves you like the son she never had and you’re definitely a pain, like the brother I’m glad I never had, she giggled. Tony brought me a package the other day. It had a dress and some jewelry in it. I was going to return it, but there was no senders address. Now, if that was from you two, I bet I can tell you who picked out what. You guys have always had great taste in clothes, even back in high school. You think you’re so smart though, don’t you. Why you trying to get me in that skimpy dress, Mr. Christian man?

Skimpy? Please there is nada skimpy about that dress. There’s no way I want all them fellas looking you up and down. I remember how you grew up and filled out. Anyway, who said Vito had anything to do with the dress. Oh, and before I forget, who the heck is Tony? he rambled out all in one breath.

Aquarian, or Qu as his friends called him, was one of a few people Tierra considered a friend. He was ranked number one on her super short list of about five or six people she trusted with her life. She hadn’t talked to him since they worked together a little over a year ago. He represented the model, she represented the magazine. After that, he had a falling out with a client at the Elle Gasque Agency where he worked and decided it would be best to put in his notice. Soon thereafter, he just disappeared. A few months ago his name began to appear in the latest entertainment magazines and she wondered how he was doing. She last read in Inda Streetz Magazine, that he bought a five bed-room house with a view of some river or lake out west, and was engaged to some actress, or model.

‘So totally unlike Qu,’ she thought when she read it. ‘A model… since when was he into the model type?’ Not that he thought he didn’t have the looks to pull one. He definitely did. He was just never that impressed by a woman’s looks. You had to be able to carry on an intelligent conversation with him to peak his interest and be down to earth. She couldn’t see a model going fishing, hiking, or even driving with the windows down. At least not the ones she had dealt with over the years.

‘But that’s my Peanut Butter, so if he’s happy, I’m happy for him. She does look a little old for him though ’, she remembered thinking at the time. That was about three months ago.

Umm Tony, he’s the doorman! Am I sensing a bit of jealousy in your voice? she laughed. …and no one said Vito bought anything, I just assumed. I mean, they came together, and you just said Vito wanted to send an invite and do it all big and what not… my bad, she replied sarcastically. Besides Shireece, Bridget, and I will probably go shopping this week, and see what we can find… I’ll have to think about your skimpy outfit!

Yeah, same ole’ shopaholic Tierra. I see much hasn’t changed, he said, playfully. Well, I just wanted to let you know that I was in town and make sure that you received the package. I have a meeting to attend, so…

Umm yeah, me too. You interrupted my ba… she paused. I mean, I was getting ready to go to the office when you called. Let’s get together before the weekend, maybe for lunch on Wednesday?

Sounds cool, I’ll hit you on your email if that’s not a good day.

"My email? Is there any information that my mother hasn’t given you?"

Well yeah, now that you brought it up. Where’s your man? Or should I ask? I mean, is there some man out there blessed with the honor of calling you his queen?

"Me, someone’s queen? Come on, you know me better than that Qu. All I have time for is work, work, and more work. Love is not on my radar anywhere. "

What? Well, we will talk about that on Wednesday. Oh it’s on now! Mark that date in pen. Hey, how about our usual place? Have you been there lately?

JC’s? No, not lately. Mr. Baxwell has been keeping me very busy, so it’ll be nice to go there.

Aiight then, I’ll see you Wednesday, at noon.

She sighed, hanging up the phone after they said their goodbyes, and continued to sit on the bed smiling before she realized… "Shoot! Dammit, its 10:45, "she exclaimed, and reached up and pushed the page button on a panel on her wall which connected her with the front desk.

Yes Ms. Rodriquez, a male voice replied through the intercom.

Tony, please be a dear and grab me a taxi. I’m running super late. I’ll be down in 10 minutes… 15 tops.

Yes, I can do that for you Ms. Rodriquez. 15 minutes, I have it under control.

You’re a dear, she said, racing over to her dresser, pulling out a pair of black panties and sheer stockings and slid into them. She walked over to her bed, and picked up her black pencil skirt from and pulled it up over her curvy hips. Then she picked up her cream jeweled top camisole and slid it over her head before rushing into the bathroom; hairbrush, makeup bag, and bobby pins in hand. When she emerged fifteen minutes later, she had her daily mask on, hair pulled back into a tight bun, with just a few curls hanging around her face. Her makeup was set like she had a professional make-up artist hidden somewhere. Perfection! This was the face she showed the world, the one she put on after she washed any trace of her real self, down the drain. Then, she erased any scent of the true insecure Tierra with her Goddess perfume.

Exiting the bathroom, she grabbed her blazer, shoes, and briefcase off the bed and hurried down the hall and into the kitchen.

What’s quick, what’s quick? she said, reaching into the refrigerator deciding on one of her homemade parfaits. I’m really late! she said to