The Medicine of Selves Volume 3: Life & Survivor's Guilt

Another Spiritual Odyssey

And Medicine Primer

A MEDICINE MAN'S UNDERSTANDING OF

THE MEDICINE OF SELVES

BY

Copyright © 2009 White Eagle

Smashwords Edition

AN INTRODUCTION

White Eagle is a practicing Medicine Man who has been blessed by the Great Spirit Father with both Healing and Vision Medicine. Being part Algonquin and Arapaho, he carries forward a mixture of both traditional and nontraditional Medicine techniques. Ever seeking to serve the Will of The Great Spirit, White Eagle endeavors to enable all of the Great Spirit's children to learn of His Love and in the many ways in which we may allow His Light and Love to enrich our Well-being and lives. Ever in a constant vigil in seeking ways to serve the Will of the Great Spirit, White Eagle has left the normal order of the societies that we live in to walk totally the path of a Medicine Man in order to embrace and help in the initiation of the New Order of the Great Spirit's Will and Consciousness in humankind. In the last period of time much information about the coming events as pertaining to the reawakening of Spirituality has been provided to him by his Guides, or Angels so to speak, as well as by the Creator Himself in order to bring forth a new and heightened life in the Spirit of each of His creation.

This document is a product of this endeavor as given by the Great Spirit for him to do in answer to his prayer for guidance in his daily meditation. These manuscripts are still new and seeking conventional publishing and support in distribution. As a PohTikaWah or Medicine Man, White Eagle is a Priest, Healer, Teacher, Visionary, Counselor, and Ceremonial Leader but perhaps most important, a Guide in the way of discovering the Truth and Perfect Child within each of us.

In the traditional way, a Medicine Man would give a person a Medicine Name usually around the birth time as a vision would be given them however, several years ago during one of his daily Mediations the Great Spirit said for him to start Naming people with a Name that describes His Original Thought as He created each of them. This Name describes the perfect pattern of each Self as He created them and describes what they not only have always been but also that which they are and ever will continue to be (or better said, What does Not need fixing). The Medicine Name as described by White Eagle helps us understand why we have certain likes or dislikes and habits that are most normal for us, as well as abilities in which we can easily excel and use in our growth. White Eagle explains the Name as well as its Medicine and tendencies but always reminds us that we are ever in growth as to become greater channels of the Great Spirit's Light and Love and to do this we are ever learning new Medicine to add to that of our beginning so as to please the Creator. This is our true desire of our inner child.

In addition to the Naming Vision, White Eagle has also been given abilities in vision such as looking inside one’s body to detect illness or infirmary, finding objects that are considered lost, going backwards or forwards in time as well as others. White Eagle has also been given the ability to channel or so as to say allow another person's Guides to speak to them through the body of him as well as channel his own personal Guides in an advisory capacity about all matters current and past that are having an immediate influence on one. White Eagle lives in what might best be described as altered states and does not use or condone the abuse of any drugs nor of anything or of anyone. Another of the abilities that has been given to White Eagle is for him to walk in another's moccasins in a past life review in order to release carryover problems that often occur from past lives. This process takes several days to complete and the product is specific documentation and a channeled review. White Eagle's knowledge of the Spirit world also provides dream state interpretations as well.

As a Healer, White Eagle has many abilities in working with energy, potions, and teas as well as Medicine Stones. There have been many instances whereby he has cured someone's headache or hiccups with a single thought. White Eagle will also be the first one to thank another for healing themselves and as he says that he takes no credit but full responsibility in such matters as he only invokes the Will and Love of God. White Eagle guides people in the process of meditation and from time to time holds workshops in learning the Medicine Wheel Way as well as about Plant Spirit, Animal Spirit, and Mineral Spirit Medicines and how we can use them to enrich our lives.

White Eagle sometimes kids around about being a Native American Ghost Buster but know well he takes these matters very seriously. Unlike some others he uses the unlimited potential of Love to help in problems with discarnates, or entities, and possession as they are very dynamic in the Well-being of all involved. White Eagle is not a Witch or Witch Doctor although he has much knowledge about such things and will refuse to help any who are not aspiring to the highest ideal which is, To Walk in Balance and With Harm to No One Being or thing, including Oneself! If possible White Eagle will record personal readings on cassette tape and asks that each provide their own tape for use. He says that one receives what they are willing to invest in any matter. He asks that each desiring a reading, prepare and bring a written list of questions to be answered for their own use, as he does not want to see them. White Eagle also makes many ceremonial items and personal items such as prayer sticks, rattles, shields, earrings, necklaces, as well as paintings.

Often White Eagle will speak of only charging a commitment to change when asked about receiving money for his services. However, as all truly know, one must be willing to give something away to receive more of anything at any point in time. Gifts or donations of money or other things that might support the work will be welcomed by him. As White Eagle recognizes that in a respectful sharing way, those who have resources to share will be the first to benefit in the sharing process. However lack of money or resources are often manifestations of symptoms of other Spiritual dilemmas and he would never deny his services to anyone because of their lack of a comfortable money supply. Each one should feel comfortable with whatever they feel they should provide, as it is a contribution not a fixed price. White Eagle sees it only as a contribution to God and the Church.

This document is presented in what might best be described as pristine in its word usage and while sometimes the word usage might not be considered to be grammatically correct, it is in its original true condition to the Spirit of the consciousness and is most proper. As it is given to express this information in the English language, many of the words available for use fall short of the full dynamics of the total scope of the consciousness being expressed. In no way is it also to be inferred that there is any bias or weight given to the male or female of the human species. All true Beings, which are all Spirits created by The Great Spirit or God as some refer to Him, have chosen to incarnate into each of the Body-forms and races; which is why the Great Spirit created the diversity in the first place. I call Him Great Pop and I am certain that He loves and favors each as equal in His esteem and so should we. As the Earthplane experience is truly that of learning the unlimited ways of experiencing Brotherhood and expressing Love, the consciousness associated in the term Brotherhood is that of the willingness to support, sacrifice for, share, care, nurture, guide, and most important, value another Being regardless of what sex or other condition the body is in. Any other word associations that might even in the slightest way be considered to be gender biased should be considered the same way and the consciousness to the Spirit of the use retained. This material is presented in the Spirit of Onement and the Law of One and is meant to be received in the same way, each samely unique and in their uniqueness the same.

This material was completed in 2009 is the sole property of White Eagle and all rights are reserved. No part of this book may be transmitted or reproduced in any form or by any means, electronic or mechanical including photocopying and recording, or by any information storage or retrieval system, except as may be expressly permitted by White Eagle.

White Eagle may be contacted at ASpiritWalker.com or at:

PO Box 183

Pinebluff, NC 28373

It is my sincerest hope that this material will in some way be of service in bringing forth some of the abundance of Light and Love that the Great Spirit has for each and every one of you.

In the years that I have been guiding peoples, I have always cautioned them about what they read in books as I do also to you here and now. A book in its very best of conditions is but one person’s documentary of their observations as they walk the path of life, and indeed can be no more than that. But, while they might speak of the squirrel running up the tree ahead and share their vision of that, they might miss the butterfly emerging from the cocoon behind. This book is a composition of information that comes to me both through meditation and channeled through me by my Guides. It is presented in the Spirit of Love. It was given to me to understand that the purpose of each person’s incarnation to Earthplane for an Earthwalk is to learn more about the unlimited ways to experience and to express Love and Brotherhood.

In many of these books I talk about the Prevalent Culture. When I call it White, I am not meaning Caucasian or even European for any that might be sensitive to such or take any offense as none is intended. The current Prevalent Culture, which is at times also called the White Western Way by some, actually has it genesis long before the man named Jesus was hung on a cross. I consider that event to be an act of Being Murdered by some of its adherents because of its Religion and foundation of materialism. And as Great Pop often tells me, This too can Change. I hope He was Not talking about those 30 pieces of silver, don’t You?

Presented With Love,

TABLE OF CONTENTS

AUTHOR’S NOTE

Part I - The END / BEGINNING

BRUCE ….

THE KNOT

The SACRED CIRCLE

THE WHEEL OF MEDICINE

Part II - Life / Death

THE South

THE WEST

THE NORTH

THE EAST

THE CENTER, ABOVE, & BELOW

Part III - ENDLESS NEW BEGINNINGS

Thoughts & MEMORIES

Care

HOME

I Will or WILL I

I AM NoT A VICTIM

Angels

Part IV - Surviving

DESIRE

CARE REVISITED

HEART

MIND

BARK ON TREE

WILL

PART V - GUILT

WHAT IS GUILT, REALLY?

IF & WHY

CULTURE or SELF

QUIT IT

THE MEDICINE & PROPER WAY

A Note From The Author….

It has now been over two decades since Great Pop first told me to begin the writing of these now many books. At first I was reluctant and told Him that I certainly desired no such thing for myself. I also mentioned that I did not feel qualified or with sufficient skills in writing to do such an important task. He was persistent in His bequest of me to do such though, and soon began the effort on my part of such an important endeavor.

At the completion of the material of the first work that is titled The Medicine Way, I was 47 years of age. At that point, I already was keenly aware of the power and potential impact of the word, be it in song or print. Each of these mediums can dynamically affect and effect an individual’s attitude and perspective and thereby, Life. One can always find something positive or negative about any condition or thing as well. If one listens to angry or sad songs often enough then one will soon become of that same attitude and perspective. Once that occurs, one’s Life experience and expressions will become more of a mirror of that than anything else.

In the material of some of the volumes that Great Pop has given for me to write, He has had me include the parallel account of my personal Life experiences during the development of them. In doing that I can only speak as honestly as I can of my feelings and attitude as each experience occurred. Also, when more than a single Being or thing is involved in an experience, each that is involved will have its own personal perspective of it. Therefore I pray that no one Being or thing be judged or condemned by their behavior or personal choices of expression in such an accounting. Still, I can and do honestly say that these experiences and expressions actually happened, and happened that way to me.

Regarding Grow, Growth and Life purpose….

In asking Great Pop as to how I should be and do while I am here on Mother Earth, He told me Little One, I made that theme park for any Beings and things that want to experience some of the limitless means and ways to experience and express Love and Brotherhood.

Some people profess that we each have a specific mission to accomplish in our lifetime, or that we come here to learn lessons of some sort through which we will Grow toward completing some kind of Spiritual Transformation and thereby achieve a Higher condition of being. I personally believe that all of this aspiration and ambitious thinking about one’s reality and life’s purpose is founded in Fear and is all a falsehood. I am certain that we come here for experiences by our own choice and that we experience things of our own manifestation through our thoughts and Prayers of Desire. This means that there is No mandate or mission, nor any requirement to learn anything, there is only a path of life that is of our own choosing and design.

When I was young Great Pop told me: Grow like the tree and thereby from the inside out in all directions. I thought He meant that I should aspire to grow taller and thereby bigger. I later learned the Proper idea and Ideal meant by His use of the word Grow as being more like the concept of Multi-dimensional Expansion, as in this ideal we are in a sense Ever and Always Complete.

Through each incarnation we gain knowledge and understanding and therefore Expand from the experiences and expressions of being ourselves, thus we have more to offer and share with other Beings and things and their expansion as well. This is the Real and true condition and Potential for every Being and thing in the physical or spiritual condition, from the single celled micro-organism to the entirety of all creation - period.

All Beings and things are considered Even in Great Pop’s idea and Love of us. He would Never favor or set any thing as being better than any other thing of His Creation, therefore, within the contents of this or any of the other material that has been Brought forth by this channel and servant of The Creator, I pray that you will properly interpret and correctly understand the use of the words of Learn, Lesson, Grow, or Growth to mean and be interchangeable with "To Become of, Embody, Expand, or Expansion."

This material is presented in the Spirit of Love. It was given to me to understand that the purpose of each person’s incarnation into the physical realm and Mother Earth is to learn more about the unlimited ways to experience and to express Love and Brotherhood.

So as you read the pages...

I Pray That You Walk in Joy and Enjoy Your Walk …..

PART I

The END / BEGINNING

(TOC)

BRUCE ....

I thought that I was pretty much through writing these books. However, a month or so ago Great Pop had me start thinking about writing about Survivor’s Guilt. Since I have lived each and every word of these now many volumes, now it seems time that I do.

I am White Eagle and today is December 2, 2008. As I begin, I now realize that it has been five years now since I completed the second volume of this material about the Medicine of Selves. In my Medicine Man way, my first thought is that the Medicine of the number 5 is that of fulfillment. Funny, I do not seem so fulfilled right now. To begin the writing of this volume, I had to go through some of the many things that Bruce left me. In doing so, I keep thinking about how much Bruce had given and shared with me.

Bruce David Adams has Dolphin Medicine. I use the word of has, because it is a part of his Ever Name which describes his soul nature and qualities or composition. Bruce died on November 13 this year of 2008. Bruce was an angel to me. He helped me get to see my youngest son, Nolayte, when I had no other way. He did that 5 years ago, and kept helping and sharing in my life as best as he could. Bruce was a Wannaho to me, and I to him. Wannaho means brother from one’s heart and soul, forever and a day. There is nothing a Wannaho will not do for a person. We both valued, cared, respected, loved, and were Wannaho to the other. Bruce sent me a letter stating that by the time I read it, he would be dead. We only lived 15 miles from each other, but the letter was his way of it, so I have to respect that. Bruce killed himself you see, and I knew of that potential all along.

Bruce was a big fellow, about six foot and four inches tall. When I first met Bruce, he was talking about some of his earlier marketing experiences and adventures. I later asked him what his first impression of me was. He said that I was real scary looking. He later was surprised to learn about my computer skills and that became an area of common respect. My first impression of Bruce was that he was very passionate, and to me that is an excellent quality. Right up front, Bruce told me that he was a Christian. I told him I was a PohTikaWah. Bruce was a big sports fan, I am not. Bruce would get real upset if I tried to say something while he was watching sports on TV. Bruce has Crystal Medicine you see, and I did not let it bother me.

Yep, Bruce has a whole lot of Crystal Medicine, and in a way that is why he killed himself. You see Crystal Medicine is about target vision, singular tasking and being a perfectionist. I can use Crystal Medicine, but I also can choose to employ Star Medicine as well. Crystal and Star Medicines are essential natures. I call these Medicines to be the modes that we employ to outwardly express ourselves. Some people have one or the other of them, while some have neither or both. I often explain that if you want something done the very best it can be done, give it to a Crystal Medicine person to do. I also say that a Crystal Medicine person may never finish painting a picture or any other project because they will continue to try to make it better. There is no good or bad in reality, only perspective. One of the less advantageous parts of Crystal Medicine is to have such target vision or focus. I say such, because one tends to become obsessive in it. Yep, Bruce would get really upset over things that I would not. On several occasions when visiting or working on a project with Bruce, he would ask me to leave because he was so upset and did not want me to be in it. Later he would apologize, but he didn’t need to with me, I understood, and accepted it as just being his nature and Medicine.

I do not fault Bruce for killing himself. I do own some anger about it still. I know that feeling will diminish in time because it is part of my Bark on tree that I call my ego. You see the anger is about being abandoned here on Mother Earth, which is the main ingredient of what some call Survivor’s Guilt.

When we first met, I mentioned my dream of raising herbs like Echinacea and Bruce told me about his dream of a scheduling support vehicle for people with diseases that require taking a lot of different medicines. Bruce told me that he had come up with a program to do such because of his parents. I was given to understand that Bruce gave up his marketing career and came to this area to help take care of his mom when she had cancer. His dad developed Alzheimer’s disease as well, so after burying his mom, he took care of his dad. Bruce was taking care of his dad when we first met. Bruce’s dad died about three years ago as I recall. Bruce has a brother that he did not like. He said that it was because of his brother’s behavior when he was young, and said that is why he never married or had children. As a Medicine Man I understand and know more that I will say about these things, but they are important to mention to understand Bruce.

When Bruce mentioned wanting to put together a website to support the entry and transmission of his Medicine Schedules, I told him I would be glad to do it for him. I made one that worked like he told me he wanted, and then his Crystal Medicine went into over drive so to speak. I have been designing and developing computer systems over forty years, so for someone to change their mind once they see something, is nothing new to me. I just go with the flow. After his dad died and their estate was settled, Bruce told me he would pay me to keep working on the website. After a year or so and several re-writes of the website code, Bruce had everything just like he wanted. I told Bruce at the beginning, it was his dream and I did not want money to help facilitate it, but he gave it to me anyway. Bruce and I both have thousands of hours getting things just like he wanted them to be, now he is gone.

Bruce gave me the results of all of that effort, meaning ownership of his business. He gave me the computer equipment we were to operate it with as well, which I am now writing this material with. Sad is not quite the feeling that I have over this development, just Survivors Guilt. Bruce told me once that I was the only real friend that he had, and the only one that ever tried to put money in his pocket. He said this when I would ask him if he wanted to make some money by helping me with a remodeling project from time to time. I have so many vivid memories of shared experiences while doing that, or when he would take me to see Nolayte. It was so wonderful to have him there to see Nolayte run with the kite that I had made, or chase after the rockets we would take to fire off.

If one were able to ask Bruce what his favorite experience with me was, I am pretty certain that while there are many, one will head the top of his list. The time was January of 2005 or 2004, maybe 2006. I do not wear a watch and live on Indian Time you see. Indian Time is something like I will see you when I see you and not a minute before, ha, ha, ha. Bruce was just the opposite and often kept checking his watch, about everything. Bruce and I were pretty much Polar Opposites about many things. In the Spirit of Respectful Sharing, I did not mind adopting his Crystal Medicine requirements, and he displayed a modicum of tolerance to my ways I am sure. The weather was such that it had been raining for several days and it was very cold, like in the 20s to low 30s in temperature. It was a weekend, and Bruce’s dad had already exited, leaving Bruce the older home they had in an older part of Southern Pines, North Carolina. Bruce previously would have me drop stuff by that home, but never let me inside. He said that it was too messy and that he was too embarrassed to have anyone see it. I had already finished making the original version of Bruce’s website, I remember, and Bruce’s dad had also left Bruce a late model Jeep Grand Cherokee. Bruce had his own Honda automobile that he used to take me to see Nolayte, when Nolayte lived in Lillington, North Carolina which is about an hours drive from Southern Pines. Bruce had backed into something and messed up the left rear corner and bumper of his dad’s Jeep, which he wanted to fix so as to sell. Bruce had often mentioned not being Hirable because of his cancer and at that time he had pretty much exhausted his inheritance, except for the Jeep and house. Bruce clung onto the house, which I felt was keeping him in a state of depression of sorts. The house was a white stucco Tudor style English cottage. The house was almost foreboding, being trimmed in dark brown wood with moss growing on the roof. Behind the house was a small one car type of garage with part of its roof being caved in. The floor of this garage was dirt, with puddles of water beneath the many leaking spots above. It was musty, dusty, cold, and dark inside that garage I remember, cold more ways than just temperature.

I had offered to fix Bruce’s dad’s Jeep and Bruce had already acquired a replacement tail light as the other one was shattered in the event. I had fixed many cars in my youth, so excepting the conditions and lack of appropriate tools, this was no big thing to me. I knew that Bruce needed help, and so I did. All of my tools were pretty much basic as far as car repair. I had a lot of remodeling tools, but just the basic ones for maintaining the blue pony that I have. When I saw the damage, I was quick to note that while things were all twisted, wadded up and mangled, the paint seemed to not have been hurt so bad that we could not polish most of the scars out. That type of vehicle had a plastic cover over its bumper, unlike the chrome one on my blue pony. Even though I had only a few hammers and pry bars to work with, the repair only took part of two days. Bruce was totally blown away so to speak at my patience and ability to take two hammers and straighten out all of the parts that were so mangled up. Of note is that these parts originally had many complex bends and curves that had to be just right to fit back together properly. Actually, the hardest part was getting the parts off the vehicle as their deformation had left little room for a wrench.

As I had learned from my dad and others over the years, with a lot of patience and some persistence, over time you can use two hammers to work metal into different shapes. I had Bruce hold a backing hammer in certain places as I would slowly and persistently pound the other side until the desire shape was realized. While the image of a blacksmith might come to mind, there was no fire, anvil, or forge, it was only dark and cold, very cold. After I removed it, the plastic bumper cover stayed deformed, so I got my Work Lights from my place to use with the one that he already had. The halogen bulbs in those types of lights generate a tremendous amount of heat which we projected at the crumpled sections of that plastic bumper cover. I was familiar with Memory Energy and felt comfortable that the bumper cover wanted to return to its original shape. We hung the plastic cover from the rafters and attached weights to the bottom. We then focused the heat from the lights at the wadded up sections and kept working them out that way. It was dark by the time we had that happening and so I told Bruce to keep the lights working on it all night long. When I arrived the next day, with a little more effort we had the cover pretty close to what we needed. It took only a few more hours more of Primitive effort and ways before I had his Jeep looking like nothing had ever happened to it. Bruce later would often bring up this one of our many Great Adventures. I will only say that I give all credit to Great Pop as I did it the Medicine Way, you see. By the way Great Pop is what I call the Creator which most call God.

Yep, Bruce was a partner and brother in a period of my Life, and the experiences that we shared were much better because they were shared. Bruce was fundamentally private in a lot of ways and that made the shared experiences even more meaningful to me. Bruce was very courteous, considerate, and polite in the most part, unless he had been drinking too much fire water. Yet, in his most sober moment he would adamantly tell how he felt of thought about a thing. Yep, Bruce was a passionate man. He left me with his Dream and the equipment by which to produce the product that he envisioned. It seems ironic that my desire for its success was and is now, not about anything for me, only that he be fulfilled and happy. Now that he has gone, I still am trying to figure out how to effect that result. However at this point, I am more lost, than passionate about the when, way, and how of such. And of course that is all part of Survivors Guilt too, you see. Please help me in this too, Great Pop.

Bruce’s choice and subsequent act of exiting Life here on Mother Earth is definitely the End and the Beginning at the same instant. In fact, if nothing else, I have become acutely aware of how this is real and true about Life here on Mother Earth. Every End of something has and is, the immediate Beginning of something else. Likewise, every Beginning of something, is the End of what was before. I liken it to being the knot in the Sacred Circle. If one takes a string and makes a circle out of it, while one end might be considered the beginning or start, the other is naturally the end. To make a circle out of this Beginning and End, one must marry the two in such a way that they become in Onement. This Onement is one of the Five Founding Essences which are called Medicines that are core elements in any and all things that exist. The other four elements are always extant and involved in this process as well, which are Balance, Desire, Feeling, and Change. Obviously for something to be or begin, there must have been a Desire for such to occur. This is by and because of the Law of One, which is what Great Pop uses to make anything, as well as the force that produces such. In reality, as I discovered in the experience of the first volume of the series that Great Pop had me write that is titled Origins, it is The Law of One that set everything in motion to begin with. Yep, Great Pop is the Creator, and in essence it is The Law of One that he uses to Create things with. One might now be wondering about Feeling, as the involvement of the other three is pretty obvious. As is described in Origins, when any Desire is expressed, there is automatically Feeling associated with it, no matter what. One can have a Feeling about a thing with no Desire being associated with it, but one can not have a Desire without some sense of Feeling about that Desire, no matter what. And one might be pretty much on target in surmising that I certainly have deep Feelings about Bruce, and his choice to exit, and those Feelings can certainly be considered Survivor’s Guilt!

Also, described in the first volume of Origins is how Great Pop in His Brilliance recognized that for Life to continue there must continue to be endless new beginnings. One might consider this to be the Origin of and the first knot and Sacred Circle. Way back in the early genesis of these now many volumes that Great Pop has had me write, I was given the understanding of how things work here on Mother Earth as well as beyond. My experiences of Origins solidified this understanding which can be simply put as Prayer happens, period. In effect, be it inwardly, meaning not incarnated into the physical realm, or incarnated into the physical condition, all that happens is that we as potential make expressions of choice. Yep, it is as simple as that. We choose to express something, and that something can be called a Prayer of Desire. Here in the physical realm that Prayer of Desire can come from our Bark on Tree of Ego, or from our true value system that is resident in our Heart. One can consider the Prayers from one’s Heart to be Hope Prayers ,and the others to be Fear Prayers. It is really that simple, and is really that way. Some of Great Pop’s brilliance is that He makes things work in a self sufficient and self maintained kind of way. You see, whatever has or will happen in my Life, does so because