Max & Burnie Go Kaaafwooom!
By Dan Mayhew
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About this ebook
Summer may be lazy and hazy in your world but it's just plain crazy for Max and his friends. Whether Max is 'schloorking' flies, hurling zucchini or reducing his front lawn to cannon fodder, you can be sure that you'll never see summer in quite the same way. Join Dan "Max" Mayhew in this second book of "The Zootron Chronicles" a series of Barry-esque observations of life on "Planet Zootron," the alien world "Max" calls home. Dan Mayhew's columns have appeared in newspapers throughout the Northwest and have been published in the 'Humor for the Heart' series from Howard Publishing. He is also the author of a serious book, "The Butterfly and the Stone" dealing with the challenge of loving a child on a prodigal journey.
Dan Mayhew
Dan Mayhew is a former high school teacher. He holds a degree in communication and theater from Portland State University, and a MAT from Lewis and Clark College. After several years as a teacher, he served as associate pastor of a congregation of about 1200 in Portland, Oregon.In 1990, Dan began a community of home-based churches called The Summit Fellowships (www.summithome.org) where he serves as a church planter, teacher and encourager. In addition, he assists International Renewal Ministries by facilitating Pastor’s Prayer Summits throughout the Northwest and across the country in an effort to bring pastors of all denominations and traditions together for prayer.Dan has facilitated workshops related to house churches, and is requested as a speaker. He encourages Christians to reevaluate traditional methodology and structures in response to what he sees as the changing world of the American church. Recently, he assumed pastoral duties at a small local congregation, but his heart is still with the small, simple and committed churches that meet outside more formal religious structures.Dan is also a writer and has been a regular humor columnist in several newspapers. His columns also appear in the Humor for the Heart books, Howard Publishers.
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Book preview
Max & Burnie Go Kaaafwooom! - Dan Mayhew
Max and Burnie Go KAAFWOOOM!
…and other cautionary tales of summer
By
Dan Max
Mayhew
SMASHWORDS EDITION
* * * * *
PUBLISHED BY:
Dan N. Mayhew on Smashwords
Max and Burnie Go KAAFWOOOM!
…and other cautionary tales of summer
© 2011 by Dan N. Mayhew
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 978-1-4657-3908-7
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
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Preface
As most parents know, there are two big reasons to send the kids to summer camp.
1) So Mom and Dad can have a summer vacation even though the kids are having theirs.
2) So Mom and Dad won’t have to venture out into the wild alone with the kids, which can be dangerous.
One of the earliest camping programs on record was held in the Sinai desert, described in a film called, The Prince of Egypt.
It was run by a camp director, named Moses. He is remembered for developing an innovative water safety program, and for being the one who initiated the summer camp tradition we call the bonfire.
Although Moses’ success in those two areas has never been equaled, several other features of that early getaway have become summer staples, namely flies, lice, frogs, camping, and getting lost on a hike.
At the beginning of the 21st century, camps and conference centers have come a long way. Modern retreat centers have whimsical names like, Camp Woodsy Wind, or Lake Runamuk Retreat. Local Indian names used to be popular for summer camps until one facility with a name like, Camp Sha-wee-tawn-a-poo
discovered that, translated, the name meant, Camp Lotsa Buffalo Chips.
They renamed it, Kamp Koom-By-Yah.
After more than once attempting to introduce my kids to an outdoor experience, I have concluded that wilderness adventures should be left to a camp staffed by trained survival experts. At least they know how to eat tree bark, or indigenous plants if the weenies don’t come out right.
Now, if I can just figure out a way to protect myself from the other hazards of summer…
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Max and Burnie Go KAAFWOOOM!!
Can't you just hear the music of summer? Nat King Cole's velvet-throated melody singing