The Singing Sleuth Returns

The Singing Sleuth Returns

D.B. Barton

The Singing Sleuth Returns

by D.B. Barton

Cover by Marv Conn

Smashwords Edition

Copyright 2011

Revised 2014

All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic, electronic, or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage retrieval system without the written permission of the publisher except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews.

This is a work of fiction. All of the characters, names, incidents, organizations, and dialogue in this novel are either the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously.

Diamond’s Diet and the Food-Group Counter, which are featured in this book, can be obtained free of charge by e-mailing: singingsleuth@aol.com.

The Singing Sleuth Print Series:

The Singing Sleuth (2005, 2012)

The Singing Sleuth Returns (2007, 2014)

The Singing Sleuth Goes Home (2009, 2017)

The Singing Sleuth Crosses the Pond (2011)

The Singing Sleuth Does Vegas (2013)

The Singing Sleuth Takes a Bow (2016)

The Singing Sleuth Meets his Matches (2019)

The complete series can be ordered directly from

www.singingsleuth.com.

To my beloved mother, Lila,

who was:

my muse

my editor

and

my best friend.

Table of Contents

Pegasus Itinerary

PROLOGUE

Chapter 1: Hello It’s Me

Chapter 2: Diamonds Are Forever

Chapter 3: Everybody Wants to Rule the World

Chapter 4: You Do Something to Me

Chapter 5: Strange Brew

Chapter 6: Eye in the Sky

Chapter 7: Midnight at the Oasis

Chapter 8: Take It Easy

Chapter 9: Cold As Ice

Chapter 10: Without Her

Chapter 11: Mack the Knife

Chapter 12: Who Are You

Chapter 13: The Guitar Man

Chapter 14: Ride Like the Wind

Chapter 15: Kicks

Chapter 16: Haven’t Got Time for the Pain

Chapter 17: Changes

Chapter 18: Time After Time

Chapter 19: Blue Moon

Chapter 20: Take Me Home

Chapter 21: I Swear

EPILOGUE

Copyright Acknowledgements

Pegasus Itinerary

Nineteen-Day Repositioning Cruise to Alaska

Sunday, 22nd of April: Fort Lauderdale (Florida)

Arrive 7:00 AM

Monday, 23rd of April: Fort Lauderdale (Florida),

Depart 5:00 PM

Tuesday, 24th of April: Coral Cay (Bahamas)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 4:00 PM

Wednesday, 25th of April: Cruise the Caribbean Sea

Thursday, 26th of April: Oranjestad (Aruba)

Arrive 10:00 AM, Depart 5:30 PM

Friday, 27th of April: Cruise the Caribbean Sea

Saturday, 28th of April: Panama Canal Transit

Sunday, 29th of April: Scenic Cruise of Golfo Dulce

Monday, 30th of April: Puntarenas (Costa Rica)

Arrive 7:00 AM, Depart 6:00 PM

Tuesday, 1st of May: Cruise the Pacific Ocean

Wednesday, 2nd of May: Acapulco (Mexico)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 6:00 PM

Thursday, 3rd of May: Cruise the Pacific Ocean

Friday, 4th of May: Cabo San Lucas (Mexico)

Arrive 7:00 AM, Depart 4:00 PM

Saturday, 5th of May: Cruise the Pacific Ocean

Sunday, 6th of May: San Diego (California)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 4:30 PM

Monday, 7th of May: Los Angeles (California)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 5:00 PM

Tuesday, 8th of May: Cruise the Pacific Ocean

Wednesday, 9th of May: San Francisco (California)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 6:00 PM

Thursday, 10th of May: Cruise the Pacific Ocean

Friday, 11th of May: Seattle (Washington)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 6:00 PM

Saturday, 12th of May: Victoria (Canada)

Arrive 8:00 AM

*****

Saturday, 12th of May: Victoria (Canada)

Depart 5:00 PM

Sunday, 13th of May: Cruise the Pacific Ocean

Monday, 14th of May: Cruise Hubbard Glacier

Tuesday, 15th of May: Juneau (Alaska)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 10:00 PM

Wednesday, 16th of May: Skagway (Alaska)

Arrive 7:00 AM, Depart 8:30 PM

Thursday, 17th of May: Sitka (Alaska)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 4:00PM

Friday, 18th of May: Ketchikan (Alaska)

Arrive 8:00 AM, Depart 7:00 PM

Saturday, 19th of May: Cruise the Inside Passage

Sunday, 20th of May: Vancouver (Canada)

Arrive 7:00 AM

PROLOGUE

Thursday Evening

19th of April

6:30 PM ADT

Widarta, Alec bellowed. My pants don’t fit! They were fine last Saturday.

Alec, the controller on the Pegasus, winced as he tried to fasten the waistband of his dress uniform. It was the second formal night aboard the cruise ship, and Alec needed to be properly attired.

His fingers struggled to pull together the hook and eye while he sucked in his stomach. After several more attempts, Alec was blue in the face.

These trousers must be the wrong bloody size! he grumbled, flinging open his cabin door. Alec stepped into the narrow corridor of A Deck with his white shirttails hanging down and his pants’ zipper halfway up.

Widi. Where are you?

Alec’s Scottish accent became perceptible at this point. Paige had once remarked that it happened whenever he was overexcited. Tonight, there was no doubt about it. He was beside himself.

Alec DunBarton was a new officer on the British cruise ship. A few months earlier, he had been asked to audit the books of the former controller who had been bludgeoned to death with a ten-pound barbell. Though Alec was only supposed to act as the eyes and ears of the Fort Lauderdale Homicide Department, he had managed to solve the case by using his canny ability to read people and interpret events. Upon being asked to join the crew, Alec gladly accepted the recently vacated post of controller.

As Alec was about to shout again for his cabin steward, he spotted him in the hall carrying an empty tray of cookies. Uncertain whether he’d been heard, Alec called out once more.

With an alarmed expression, Widarta rushed over to Alec and asked, Are you okay, Mr. Alec? You look upset. I was in the Dolphin Lounge making coffee.

Alec quickly ushered Widarta into his room. While doing so, he managed to whisk some large crumbs off the platter and pop them in his mouth. As Alec swallowed them, he complained, My pants don’t fit anymore.

The cabin steward’s perpetual smile returned as he placed the cookie tray on Alec’s dresser. You’re wearing your old uniform—the one you were given when you first came aboard the Pegasus.

Alec’s complexion turned ashen. "You mean I’ve gained all this weight in just twelve weeks?"

Widi’s eyes darted around the room. He looked like a trapped squirrel ready to make a daring escape. Tentatively, he answered, Mr. Alec, you eat too much. I’ve had to change your pants’ size twice since you’ve been here.

Despite being annoyed with himself, Alec found the steward’s innocent remark touching. Widarta not only cleaned his cabin and acted as his valet. He was also the person who had encouraged Alec to court Paige and to enjoy the simpler pleasures in life. Unfortunately, food was one of those pleasures.

Wearily, Alec ran his fingers through his thick brown hair and gazed at his reflection in the dresser mirror. He was often told by friends and acquaintances that he resembled the James Bond who was played by Pierce Brosnan from 1995 to 2002. Even at Alec’s normal weight, he had twenty-five pounds on that 007. Alec shuddered to think of what he weighed now. At least, he still had an engaging broad face and expressive brown eyes.

Interrupting Alec’s self-assessment, Widi said, Maybe Dr. Abbot can help you? While handing Alec his larger uniform from the back of the closet, he added, Don’t worry, you’ll be able to lose weight by the time Miss Paige comes back.

Dressed in his formal clothes—a long-sleeved white shirt, a thin black bowtie, black trousers, and a short cutaway jacket, Alec took the stairs, one flight up, anxious to speak to Dr. Douglas Abbot in the ship’s infirmary.

Alec had known Douglas all his life. Alec’s father, James DunBarton, had attended medical school with Douglas in London. Through the years, Alec had developed an easy-going camaraderie with his dad’s friend. It was Douglas who had arranged for Alec to join the cruise ship and, in doing so, helped him redefine his life.

As a frequent visitor to sickbay, Alec strode into the waiting room. After greeting Nora Sheffield, one of the nurses on duty, he asked, Is the old saw bones in his office?

Nora nodded and warned with a smile, Dr. Abbot is a bit cranky now. He’s going over the medical requisition lists that you left him several days ago.

Alec knocked on the door and entered, not waiting for a response. The doctor, also dressed in his finery, grinned as Alec took his customary seat in a worn leather chair. The masculinity of the room always put Alec at ease. Medical tomes were neatly stacked in tall bookcases, and the doctor’s faded diplomas hung on the wall, along with prints of old sailing vessels.

So what brings you here? inquired Douglas. I thought we were going to meet Regina in the Zodiac Bar at 8:00 PM.

Alec stood up abruptly, grimacing and clutching the excess fat around his midriff. I think I’ve gained some weight.

Dr. Abbot threw back his head and hooted. Some weight. I dare say it’s more like two stone!

Douglas walked over to an old-fashioned scale that stood in the corner of his office. After sliding the weights to the left, he beckoned, Come here. We’ll see soon enough.

Alec leaned against the wall, slipped off his dress shoes, and stepped onto the metal platform that clanged like the doors of an old jail cell.

The doctor smiled as he moved the ten-pound weight to 210 and inched the one-pound weight to the right. When the arm of the scale hung suspended between the two bars, Douglas announced, You’re 218 pounds, my boy.

Unsure how that weight corresponded to the antiquated system of British stones Alec asked, Is that bad?

Quickly, Douglas divided 218 by fourteen on a slip of paper. It’s fifteen stone eight!

Alec sat down brusquely and shoved his feet back into his shoes. At six feet, I shouldn’t weigh any more than thirteen stone. It would be less if I didn’t have such big bones. How the hell did this happen?

Well, let’s see, chuckled the doctor. At breakfast, lunch, and dinner, you load up your plate with all kinds of fattening food. I’ve seen you take afternoon cream tea with Bauer on innumerable occasions, and every evening you drink a double Glenlivet. You never exercise, even though our fitness center is at your disposal. You sit in your office and .…

Alec stopped listening while Douglas carried on. It was clear that his good friend was enjoying his predicament. Searching for a solution, Alec asked, Can you give me something to get back into shape?

Douglas shook his head and responded sternly, Not on your life. There are no magic pills or quick fixes. If you want to lose weight, you will have to go on a sensible diet and exercise moderately.

As Alec rose to go, he merely muttered, Oh.

CHAPTER ONE

Hello It’s Me

Words & Music by Todd Rundgren

Sunday Evening—22nd of April

Alec took a sip of his eighteen-year-old Scotch feeling both content and wistful. Over the last few months, it had become his habit to spend his evenings in the Lido Bar with Regina and Douglas. Nothing delighted him more than sitting in the open-air lounge, enjoying his pipe and single-malt whisky. Although the ship was on a rare one-day layover in Fort Lauderdale and no passengers were on board, Alec saw no reason to change that routine.

For the last six months, the Pegasus had been following its Southern Dreams’ nine-day itinerary that frequented the sun-drenched Caribbean islands of St. Maarten, Barbados, Martinique, and Flagship Cruise Lines’ private island of Coral Cay in the Bahamas. Since many passengers found these locales unpleasantly warm during the summer, it was now time for the Pegasus to begin its Northern Dreams’ tour and depart for the cool, glacial waters of Alaska.

The crew had been busy during the day, readying the ship for its nineteen-day cruise through the Panama Canal and along the West Coast of North America. The vessel’s old-fashioned coffee bar had received a facelift and a sizable number of provisions were brought aboard.

Upon arriving in Victoria, Canada, the Pegasus would officially begin its summer circuit and visit the Alaskan cities of Juneau, Skagway, Sitka, and Ketchikan. It wasn’t unusual for cruise lines to have some difficulty booking passengers on their repositioning voyages from Florida to California.

This year Flagship Cruise Line was proud to introduce its themed Cruise to Lose—the brainchild of its vice president, Collin Woodward, who hoped to increase revenue as well as offer guests exclusive diet and exercise classes. It was expected that passengers would have a fabulous vacation and return to their homes leaner and healthier.

The timing couldn’t have been any better for Alec. He felt sure he’d be able to find a diet to his liking. After all, how hard could it be? He just needed to lose two-and-a-half stone, thirty-five measly pounds.

The only thing disturbing Alec’s mood was his precarious relationship with Paige Anderson, the ship’s cruise consultant. She was away on leave, and he missed her more than he liked to admit.

Alec realized that he had been abnormally quiet when Regina Hill patted his knee. He hated to think he was being so transparent. Alec relied on his assistant for her accounting skills and her common sense.

As Regina tucked a wisp of unruly gray hair into her tightly coiled bun, she asked, When does Paige return?

Not soon enough, Alec reflected as he placed tobacco in the bowl of his pipe. I received an e-mail from her yesterday, and her dad is still having trouble getting around on his new hip. She hopes to rejoin the ship on the ninth of May when we dock in San Francisco.

Sighing deeply, Alec added, Paige was pretty distant toward me when she left the ship and made me promise to see other women while she’s away. I’ve been feeling uneasy about the whole thing. Do you think she went back to that college professor she used to date?

Douglas gazed at Alec sympathetically. I wouldn’t worry. Paige is a levelheaded woman, and the break will do you good. It has only been eight months since Shanna and Emma passed away.

The doctor was right. When Alec’s wife and four-year-old daughter had been killed by a drunk driver in London, he lost his will to live. To escape the pain and loneliness, Alec had joined the cruise ship. He had never expected to fall in love again. But Paige, with her quick wit and accepting nature, had soon captured his heart. Alec had been content with their relationship up until their parting. Now, he wasn’t even sure they were a couple.

Staring off into space, Alec began to sing aloud:

Hello it’s me

I’ve thought about us for a long, long time

Maybe I think too much but something’s wrong

There’s something here that doesn’t last too long

Maybe I shouldn’t think of you as mine

Seeing you

Or seeing anything as much as I do you

I take for granted that you’re always there

I take for granted that you just don't care

Sometimes I can’t help seeing all the way through

The lyrics only served to accentuate Alec’s discomfort. It wasn’t unusual for him to digress into song whenever there was something on his mind. Regina and Douglas were quite used to his crooning, even though some of it was ill-timed.

The doctor wisely changed the subject and asked Alec, What are you going to do about your weight? Those extra pounds are causing undo stress on your heart.

Alec drew deeply on his pipe and replied halfheartedly, I suppose I should go on a diet. Which one do you recommend?

Douglas seemed prepared for Alec’s question and answered without hesitation. "I’ve been trying to decide which regimen would suit you. The fitness instructors in our gym endorse the Zone, but I think you’d do better on Diamond’s Diet. It encourages dieters to choose meals and snacks from all the food groups and teaches portion control. Desserts and liquor are permitted in moderation. Since you eat everything, it should be perfect for you."

I see no reason for you to insult me, Alec quipped with a smile. I’ll have you know that I don’t like liverwurst or anchovies.

Regina grinned. Since we’re discussing food, I think we should go over our plans for tomorrow. Alec, do you have that list of guest speakers with you?

Alec removed a folded piece of paper from his breast pocket. Before Regina could take it from