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    Poems to Make You Laugh, Cry and Think: Life's a Load of Bananas
    Poems to Make You Laugh, Cry and Think: Life's a Load of Bananas
    Poems to Make You Laugh, Cry and Think: Life's a Load of Bananas
    Ebook138 pages48 minutes

    Poems to Make You Laugh, Cry and Think: Life's a Load of Bananas

    By Allan J. Sweeney

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Background
    Allan Sweeney studied creative writing in a University of Kent Diploma course, and mustered merits without bluster or bribes (he exudes ethical codes).

    General
    Here is a harmony of human existence, a making and breaking of the caring and sharing cake of life. Be prepared for laughter, tears, and deep thought as you recall emotions. Really, as the title suggests, ‘Life is a Load of Bananas’!

    Structure
    Eleven sections contain seven poems each (approx). Together, the collection describes a life on Earth, on childhood, humour, romance, abuse, lover, philosophy, cryptic, mystical, New Year, dying, heavenly. Gosh, over 70 poems – that’s a real bargain!

    Subjects
    Humour and happiness shines throughout, from the one minute new baby beaming bliss and then stealing sleepless nights; to the child gearing to grow up as brainy as God.
    Light-hearted love of life is balanced by poems that tackle tough topics.
    ‘The Dread Tread’ evokes emotional exclamations on child abuse; and ‘Message from Mother’ reflects thoughts of someone just deceased.
    Romance, spirituality and love hold keys to happy hearts. So, key poems are bolted securely within sections, to unlock doors to romance, spirituality and love in readers’ lives. Or vice versa.

    Poetic styles
    Concrete, lyric, carpe diem, rhyme, pastoral, verse, free verse, sonnet, romanticism, senryu, limerick and haiku are some poetically stylised poems. Each vies for velocity of verse within an anti-poet’s style helping higher harmony and happiness.

    Poetic techniques
    Verse, refrain, metonymy, assonance, doggerel, allegory, rhyme, elision, rising meter, quatrain, falling meter, envoy, stanza, alliteration, understatement, feminine rhyme, epithet, anapest, iamb, analogy, trochee, stress, meter, euphony, idiom, simile, figure of speech, syntax, personification, enjambment, irony, versification, jargon, meiosis, litote, antithesis, moritake, apostrophe, onomatopoeia, euphemism, paradox, metaphor, archetype, persona, and synecdoche. Nothing but the best and worst is good enough for readers!

    Enjoy
    This poet’s objective is to sell work wholesale to buy wholemeal rolls. Please help. If while reading, emotions become too emotive, don’t panic... This poet is also a therapist.
    Happy reading!

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherAllan J. Sweeney
    Release dateAug 16, 2011
    ISBN9781465989024
    Poems to Make You Laugh, Cry and Think: Life's a Load of Bananas
    Author

    Allan J. Sweeney

    Allan J. Sweeney studied Creative Writing on a Diploma course at the University of Kent, and gained class merits for poems, fiction, and non-fiction writings. He since published fiction, poetry, and non-fiction books, including therapy manuals, research into healing of ADHD, a new 3-minute all-over exercise programme, Reiki, a book on angels who exist on earth, pre-pilot research into healing of deafness, academic publications, a book on how to get rich financially and spiritually, and so on. Almost 20 publications will be available soon for download. Books sold direct, as paperbacks, have sold in significant quantities. For example, ‘The Ultimate Students and Teachers Reiki 1 Manual’ sold many thousands of copies. And ‘Angels on Earth’, ‘A Merchant Seaman’s Survival’, and ‘Life’s a Load of Bananas’ all sold good print runs. Now it’s time to offer these and other unique eBooks at reduced prices. At least 15 more eBooks are projected to be written, including fiction, non-fiction, poetry, and a ‘How to Cure...” series for different health conditions. Allan is currently seeking a traditional publisher for future books. Memberships include to Society of Authors, the Author’s Licensing and Collecting Agency, and the Doctor-Healer Network. Allan’s international lectures (on the subjects of his books) include appearances on TV or radio shows in Australia, Denmark, Dubai, Malaysia, Mexico, Singapore, UK, and USA.

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      Book preview

      Poems to Make You Laugh, Cry and Think - Allan J. Sweeney

      Dedication and thanks

      This book is dedicated with thanks to God

      who keeps me amused with

      antics called ‘life’

      Thank you to humans and creatures who knowingly or unwittingly wove a web in my poet’s mind.

      Also dedicated to my life daughter Angela

      who, on seeing the cover price* said,

      ‘dad, that’s really you!’

      At her young age it was amazing she’d had

      any critique at all. So I simply thought,

      ‘Life’s antics amuse many versions of me

      so every Godly and ungodly word in this book

      should amuse every reader as really me!’

      And thank you for the love that exists

      whether we write poetry or not

      *Original price was:

      "Cover Price £70

      (Less than £1 per poem!)

      On sale now

      at only £15

      (Includes many poems free!)"

      Warning

      It is unlikely that this book

      will damage your health

      But please do not swallow it whole

      Section A

      From the Child’s Heart

      Brainy as God

      My bottom

      Dogs should be given the meat and three veg, not me

      Pony tale

      Fat cuisine

      Homework

      The secret cupboard

      Brainy as God

      My teacher at school says she’s trying her best

      to make me intelligent – just like the rest.

      But I won’t be cloned like a pea in a pod;

      I just want to grow up as brainy as God.

      My teacher keeps telling me off in the class.

      She says that exams take hard work for a pass.

      And I sit and wonder, ‘did God work at school?

      ‘Or can a small child simply grow up and rule?

      ‘Was God a small child? Was He punished with lines?

      ‘Did God give His school even one or two signs

      ‘that He would grow up to be ruler of Earth?

      ‘Did God learn at school how to guide souls from birth?’

      I do hope He did ‘cos the job sounds just right!

      And surely if God’s learnt it perhaps I might?

      ‘Cos God’s getting older and when His thoughts dim,

      by then I’ll be ready, with brains just like Him.

      (Inspired by my 6 year old niece Carrie-Anne who, when asked what she’d like to be when she grows up exclaimed profoundly, ‘I just want to be as brainy as God’.)

      My bottom

      My bottom speaks to the other girl on the bus.

      It says, ‘did you

      have beans today?’

      It doesn’t speak

      in pretty words,

      you understand?

      It’s in fun sounds

      not understood

      by parents.

      (My 5 years old daughter Angela was surprised parents weren’t giggling after baked beans like she and her friends.)

      Dogs should be given the meat and three veg, not me

      Oh my goodness, how much I hate meat and three veg!

      Dogs should be given the meat and three veg, not me,

      then I could eat their

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