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    The Meaning of Larf
    The Meaning of Larf
    The Meaning of Larf
    Ebook125 pages1 hour

    The Meaning of Larf

    By Philip J Bradbury

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    About this ebook

    For anyone with microseconds and micro-breaks, this is the perfect book to pick up, put down and read in between. Perfect for people in doctors' waiting rooms (to hit coughing patients with), coffee tables (under a broken leg) and for the car to amuse when stuck in traffic.
    Try it, you'll like it ... no, you'll love it and wonder why you hadn't bought it before as it will make you the perfect party-joker and you'll never be lonely any more.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherPhilip J Bradbury
    Release dateJan 16, 2010
    ISBN9781458110213
    The Meaning of Larf
    Author

    Philip J Bradbury

    I am a writer (20 books), publisher (25 books & a magazine) and teacher/trainer for 25 years – accounting, business, men’s groups, AIDS and personal and spiritual growth.I’ve also spent time with several indigenous elders and wisdom-sharers to receive information from as many perspectives as possible. The more people I’ve talked to, the more similarities there are in their stories. ... they all point to this moment of disruption to expose and expunge the untruths, in order to move to the next 2,400-year period of Caring, Connection and Communication.Therefore, I’m here to help you cope with the current changes so you can create your higher life in order to create the community we all long for ... and know is coming.Summary list of writing/publishing experiences:• Writer of 20 published books,• Publisher of books• Commissioning Editor for Business Books• Publisher of national magazine,• Website Editor/Writer• Columnist for magazines in four countries,• Editor for national magazine,• Reporter for weekly newspaper,• Professional freelance writer, proof-reader and editor for clients in Australia, Czech Republic, Norway, Slovenia, Germany, Romania, Arabia, Britain, Canada and America.I spent 20 years in a boring job to impress my father. I finally realised he wasn’t impressed with an accountant son so I slunk sideways into business coaching and teaching and wondered why I’d avoided what I loved for so long. 20 years later, I still love teaching/coaching and have done it ever since, in different countries and in different guises:* Business coaching in NZ, UK and Australia* University lecturing in NZ and UK* Personal development workshops in NZ and Sth Africa* Grief counselling in NZ* Men’s groups in NZ* AIDS workshops in Sth AfricaFrom time to time, I played in other occupations, just because I could:* Busking* Building houses* Truck driving, reporter/photographer for a newspaper* Magazine columnist then editor* Magazine publisher* Commissioning editor of books* Writer of 20 books (to date)I’ve become a Jack of all trades, master of some and a Master of Change, so can help you with your change.Along the way I picked up some qualifications:* BBS – Bachelor of Business [Economics & Accountancy majors] degree.* ACA – Qualified Accountant.* CAT – Certificate in Adult Teaching.* Diploma of Leadership & Management* Diploma of Business* Diploma in Transactional Analysis* Grief Counselling* Life CoachingI also had time with indigenous elders:* A Hopi Elder from Sedona* A Sangorna in South Africa* Several Kaumatua in New Zealand* An Aboriginal elder near Alice Springs

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      Book preview

      The Meaning of Larf - Philip J Bradbury

      The Meaning of Larf

      By Philip Bradbury

      Published by Philip Bradbury at Smashwords

      Copyright 2010 Philip Bradbury

      Written (with cleverness and élan) by Anony Mouse Mostly

      Edited (with insight, diligence & love) by Philip Bradbury

      Typeset (with brilliance and majesty) by Philip Bradbury

      Front cover designed (with flair and imagination) by Philip Bradbury

      No rights reserved. Everything here is copied from some other source so I can hardly claim originality. Where possible, the original author has been acknowledged, advised and/or gifted a book.

      With larfter, Philip Bradbury

      ############

      Contents

      LARFING MATTERS

      ADULTS ON CHILDREN

      AGE CONCERNS

      ALTZHEIMERS TEST

      AVIATION RULES

      BENEFICIARY LETTERS

      BILLY CONNOLY WISDOM

      BLONDES

      BUREAUCRATIC WISDOM

      CALIFORNIA

      CHILDREN’S FAIRY STORY

      CHILD WISDOM

      CHILD WISDOM … ON LOVE

      CHILD WISDOM … ON RELIGION

      CHRISTMAS PARTY INVITATION

      CLASSICAL GAFFES

      COMPUTER COMPANY MEMO

      CONSUMER LABELS

      CORPORATE CAPABILITIES

      COWBOY WISDOM

      DISCOVERY OF RADIO

      DOG’S RULES

      DONKEY TYPES

      ELDER WISDOM

      ELDER WISDOM

      EMAIL DISCLAIMER

      ENGLISH LANGUAGE IMPROVEMENTS

      FAMOUS NAMES IN HISTORY

      FRIENDSHIP POEM

      GEORGE W. BUSH WISDOM

      GOD’S CHILDREN

      HELL FREEZING OVER

      HEALTH TIPS

      INTERESTING AND USELESS FACTS

      I’VE LEARNED …

      I WAS JUST SAYING …

      JOB APPLICATION

      LEGAL WISDOM

      LEXOPHILE HUMOUR

      MAINTAINING YOUR INSANITY

      MEDICAL RECORDS - US PHYSICIANS

      MEDICAL RECORDS 2 - SCOTTISH NHS

      MEDICAL TERMS

      MEN’S WISDOM/RULES

      MILITARY CONVERSATIONS

      MOTHER’S WISDOM

      NEWSPAPER HEADLINES

      NEW YEAR’S EMAIL

      ONELINERS

      PATENT BRILLIANCE

      PERSISTENCE

      PRIESTS SERMON CORRECTION

      PUNS

      RELIGIOUS QUESTIONS

      SEX QUOTES

      SCIENTIFIC EXPLANATION

      SENIOR’S BANK LETTER

      SMART ALEC ANSWER

      SNOW TIME FOR LAUGHING

      SYDNEY OLYMPIC QUESTIONS

      TEACHER ARRESTED

      TOILET RULES

      TRAVELLERS’ INSTRUCTIONS

      UNEXPECTED ANGELS

      UNIVERSAL WISDOM

      UNUSUAL BODY CIRCUMSTANCES

      WOMAN’S WISDOM

      WORDPLAY

      YOU KNOW YOU’RE LIVING IN 2010 WHEN...

      ABOUT PHILIP BRADBURY

      ############

      LARFING MATTERS

      The meaning of life has eluded us since Pontius was a pilot, or before then, when Adam and Eve started begetting all sorts of people with unpronounceable names. In spite of all our amazing knowledge and ability to communicate it, no one has come up with a definitive meaning for life - if they had there would only be one religion and one guru. As it is, the number of religions is increasing and there’s a new philosophy, a new diet, a new business system and a new way of trying to be what you’re not, coming out every day. And, like riding a bike or making love, life doesn’t have to be understood to be enjoyed ... in fact, those who think they have the answers (priests, philosophers, gurus) seem to have very serious faces and not a lot of fun. If that’s their meaning of life, they’re welcome to it. So, let’s get off the need to understand anything and just have some fun, spreading some silliness through this ever-so-earnest world of ours.

      What we do all know for a certainty is that the meaning of larf (or laugh for those who speak properly English) is larf itself. It’s just good to do and we all feel better for a good larf. And larfs are so contagious - you can’t help larfing when someone else does and it’s so easy to get others to do it - just fake a larf and they’re off - the simplest and cheapest way of healing an earnest and depressed world. And, to my strange mind, health and happiness are attracted to the simplest and cheapest of remedies, while the more complex and expensive remedies seem to spawn a whole host of other problems, as Dr. Bruce Halstead, Director of the World Life Research Institute, Colton, California, stated in his article The Health Plan for the United States:

      The bottom line is to keep America sick, as sick people make astronomical amounts of money for the medical profession. Medical care is a monopolistic industry that generates in excess of $600 billion per year, or almost 12% of the Gross National Product. It has been estimated by the coalition of Immune System Disorders that more than 65 million Americans are suffering from secondary immune deficiency disorders. Cancer generates more than $100 billion a year, with one person dying of cancer every 64 seconds, about 1,350 people per day or 500,000 people per year. More than a trillion dollars has been spent and wasted in the war against cancer.

      And, talking of cheap, all of the following words have come to me for nothing. They turn up in my computer each day and I have no idea who wrote them originally. It seems to me that the universe, daily, offers us free wisdom and so few of us take the chance to learn, grow or heal from it.

      ‘Well,’ I thought, ‘they come into my world, I have a giggle, and they go out again. What a shame they don’t stay for longer as I still get a good larf each time I read them’. And so this boook - to celebrate the (largely) anonymous geniuses we meet every day, in our homes, communities and work-places, with their quick quip, their insightful invective, their wily wisdom, to help us through another minute, hour, day or year. They know not what healing they bring to this world. Thank you from the bottom, top, sides and every other part of my heart and funny bone.

      Those who are not anonymous have (obviously!) been given credit for their words and they will also receive a copy of this book, except for those deceased geniuses on page 16 … I’m sure someone ‘upstairs’ will appraise them of their continued notieriety.

      And if you’re out there and wish to claim some sort of royalty, please let me know. And if you want your silly wisdom to go down in posterity, also let me know for there will surely be other books - I had so much fun doing this that I just have to do it again.

      People say ‘it’s no laughing matter’ - the truth is that larfing certainly does matter and let’s have a whole lot more of it. Oh, by the way, Larf stands for Learning And Realising Freedom.

      ############

      ADULTS ON CHILDREN

      Raising teenagers is like nailing jelly to a tree.

      There is always a lot to be thankful for, if you take the time to look. For example, I’m sitting here thinking how nice it is that wrinkles don’t hurt.

      One reason to smile is that every seven minutes of every day, someone in an aerobics class pulls a hamstring.

      Car sickness is the feeling you get when the monthly payment is due.

      The best way to keep kids at home is to make a pleasant atmosphere - and let the air out of their tyres.

      Families are like fudge . . . mostly sweet, with a few nuts.

      Today’s mighty oak is just yesterday’s nut that held its ground.

      Laughing helps. It’s like jogging on the inside.

      Middle age is when you choose your cereal for the fibre, not the toy.

      My mind not only wanders; sometimes it leaves completely.

      If you can remain calm, you just don’t have all the facts.

      ############

      AGE CONCERNS

      I learned that I like my teacher because she cries when we sing, Silent Night. Age 5

      I learned that our dog refuses to eat my broccoli too. Age 7

      I learned that when I wave to people in the country, they stop what they are doing and wave back. Age 9

      I learned that just when I get my room the way I like it, Mum makes me clean it up again. Age 12

      I learned that if you want to cheer yourself up, you should try cheering someone else up. Age 14

      I learned that although it is hard to admit it, I am secretly glad my parents are strict with me. Age 15

      I learned that silent company is often more healing than words of advice. Age 24

      I learned that brushing my child’s hair is one of life’s great pleasures. Age 26

      I learned that wherever I go, the world’s worst drivers have followed me there. Drive carefully. Age 29

      I learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it. Age 30

      I learned that there are people who love you dearly but just have no idea of how to show it. Age 42

      I learned that you can

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