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    Smashwords Writing Duel
    Smashwords Writing Duel
    Smashwords Writing Duel
    Ebook32 pages28 minutes

    Smashwords Writing Duel

    By Jonathan Antony Strickland

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Trevor Ian Thomson was one clever guy. He began reviewing on Smashwords, taking great pleasure criticising mistakes within stories, be they bad spelling to bad grammar.
    But when challenged to write his own story by an author called Jack Van Mason, the reviews he received where at times as critical as his own. The only difference being that their criticism fell upon his ideas and originality. But he knew he was right. And so with a little detective work he decides to track down Jack Van Mason and see the fool for what he is!

    (You don’t need to be a writer or reviewer on Smashwords to read this story...but it helps!)

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJonathan Antony Strickland
    Release dateNov 2, 2012
    ISBN9781301574261
    Smashwords Writing Duel
    Author

    Jonathan Antony Strickland

    You really want me to reveal personal information here?O.K then... here's some stuff you might (or might not) like to know about me!Well for starters you can contact me on milthyswinebuckle@gmail.comMy Hobbies:1_Are you bored. Then do what I do. Take off all your clothes and paint your face and arse bright blue. Then run outside and shout abuse at passers-by... passes the time if nothing else!2_Managed 18 keepy ups with ye old pigs bladder once....What's that you say? Not that impressive! Well... what I failed to tell you was that the pigs bladder that I did the 18 keepy ups with, was still inside the pig!3_Not pissing on the evil that is Milthy Swinebuckle, if he were ever to catch fire4_Scratching my arse!5_Watching Milthy get his arse kicked by a three legged tortoise...HA !!!6_Scratching my arse and..oh wait I've already said that! Ah, what the hell. It's a good one so I'll say it again.7_???? **** ???? with **** then ?*?*!8_Wondering what I'm doing during hobby seven?MY most prized possession: Hitler's missing left testicle (NOT FOR SALE).My most famous quotes:1_A step in the right direction can still mean the death of an ant!2_I look down on almost everybody...although come to think about it, it's probably because I do climb a lot of trees!3_You know that poem "if", what a load of crap. Kipling got it all wrong. What he should have said was "If you can portray the ideas you get to a sober man (no matter how shite though's ideas may be), and keep a straight face. Then you'll be a man MA SON!4_HMMMMMM........I think I'll eat my socks!5_MMMMM.......cheese and onion flavour .........NNNNIIIICCCCEEE!!!!6_Ignore the above quote's and instead just read and live your life by number 7.7 As far as I'm concerned you should not judge a fellow person on their looks, sex, race or beliefs. There are only two types of people: 1_Everyday ordinary people who just want to get on with their lives and not bother anybody else...2_The preachers, the arseholes and the gobshites, who want to tell you what to do, what you should be doing and how you should be doing it.My favourite words:...knickers, bra's, boobs, bums, knockers, shit, shite, bollicks, twat, boobs (such a good word it needed to be said twice), gussets, stains, ugabalooga, randy, stodgeflaps, fgkgkujhghrewh, and TURD!!! That's TURD... Got it? No? Then I'll say it again, just in case you missed it...T.U.R.DMy Arch Enemies:1_Milthy Swinebuckle....Beware he who sneaks, creeps, squawks and chortles. He who goes by many names. Names such as... Archibald Stott, Feagus the mostly squidgy, Terrance the quite nasty tormentor etc... but to me he will always be Milthy Swinebuckle (or if I meet him face to face... ARSEWIPE!)2_Mr.Hairy Monkfish... Swinebuckle's main henchman (and suspected bumchum)3_Randy Stodgeflaps... not much to say about this guy except he is one of Swinebuckle's best mates and a bit of a ballbag!Charity work.....Milthy Swinebuckle has been infected with writers tourettes. Only I can help him. I really hope I don't catch it though, as every few words he writes he can't stop himself writing words like..."KNICKERS" or "ARSE" or some other filth! It takes him a good twenty minutes to write and edit a single sentence. I really "NADS" feel sorry "BOOBS" for the "GUSSETS" poor guy......"B...BB...BBB BOTOMSSS, ARSEHOLES, PANTS,......Oh bugger!"PS: Does anyone actually read any of this personal information shit?

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      Book preview

      Smashwords Writing Duel - Jonathan Antony Strickland

      Smashwords License Statement

      This e-book is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This e-book may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      …………………………….

      Smashwords Writing Duel

      By: Jonathan Antony Strickland

      ………………….

      Part 1

      Reviewing the Reviewer

      From an early age he had been clever. Even in nursery school he had been above the other children when it came to learning. Excelling at math’s, learning to add, subtract, times and divide long before the other kids could even talk properly or write the simplest of sentences. Yes, for Trevor Ian Thompson growing up possessed no fears or concerns what-so-ever.

      As he entered into his teenage years he was considered one of the brightest students of his year and achieved good grades in most lessons as he grew. He earned the nickname Clever Trevor from one of the other school kids who had heard an Ian Dury track of him singing the song of the same name. He listened once or twice to this song but for him the lyric’s and sound from the great song writing poet where a complete mystery, though inwardly he was quite pleased with the nickname, completely missing the point that the kid who had thought it up for him had meant it originally as an insult.

      It was however in English that Trev would prove most adept. Coming top of his class, year in and year out, mastering the English language and getting a distinction for his final GCSE result. His other results had been virtually as good, A’s and B’s in History, Chemistry, Tech Drawing, etc. etc…Only in art and music classes did he do very badly.

      Alas, art was something he was never good at. Not that he couldn’t draw, it was just the whole concept seemed quite alien to him, but this did not trouble him in the slightest. Paint strokes splashed around a blank canvas creating a picture

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