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    Classified Relationships
    Classified Relationships
    Classified Relationships
    Ebook217 pages2 hours

    Classified Relationships

    By Valerie Hockert, PhD

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    About this ebook

    Personals ads can be classified as good, and bad--as there are good ads and bad ads. What makes an ad good? The way it is written, of course. But it is not as obviously simple as that. The choice of just one taboo word in a personal ad can attract exactly the type of person the advertiser is not seeking, and in some cases can put the person who is placing the ad, in great danger.

    Learn how-to find love and romance, whether you are looking for men or women, just to be dating or to have a meaningful relationship. Learn in this how-to book how to write that perfect singles or personals ad. This is a great book with dating advice, plus some great stories of personalities to avoid.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherJustice Gray
    Release dateJan 27, 2014
    ISBN9781311755360
    Classified Relationships
    Author

    Valerie Hockert, PhD

    Valerie Hockert, was born in the Midwest where she has lived all her adult life. She has had much life experience through her various entrepreneurial life. She has a Master's Degree in Liberal Studies, and a PhD in Literary Studies. Dr. Hockert has been teaching at a college level for many years. She was the first publisher of the Writers' Journal and Today's Family, two national publications. She is also a certified personal trainer, great chef, and the Publisher of an e-magazine: www.realitytodayforum.com.

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      Book preview

      Classified Relationships - Valerie Hockert, PhD

      Classified Relationships

      By

      Valerie Hockert

      ~~~

      Smashwords Edition

      Valerie Hockert

      CollProf@aol.com

      Copyright: © 2014, 2012, 2008 by Valerie Hockert All rights reserved

      No part of this document may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means, electronic, mechanical, photocopying, recording, or otherwise, without prior written permission of author.

      SMASHWORDS EDITION, LICENSE NOTES. This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      INTRODUCTION

      As singles ads have become more popular, I grew curious about how they work, and experimented by placing different types of ads, to see if I could solicit certain types of responses. The results? Positive. However, this was not enough, so I experimented with answering ads as well, thinking I could read between the lines. The result? I could. Then I went on to experiment by writing and placing ads for friends—both men and women. The results? As I predicted. Then came the online dating services, and again, the experiments.

      Great results were obtained from this successful experiment. Now you, dear reader, can learn to write the perfect personal ad and get the mate you want. Many personal ads I’ve seen are poorly written. They make embarrassing statements, appeal to the wrong kind of mate, or appeal to no one at all. There are pitfalls, some obvious, other less so, and no-no words and phrases. This book helps you avoid embarrassment by writing a personal ad that speaks well of you. It saves peace of mind, as well as time and money.

      You’ve decided you’re going to a dating function held at a night club or bar? What will you say? Well, this book can also help you with that!

      Have you ever dated someone who won’t commit, or who won’t listen? This book identifies eleven personality types to avoid. The Power Player and the Reach and Touch will take your time, but they won’t give you satisfaction. You may discover that you know someone who is just like one of these charmers. Learn how to recognize them and save heartache and headache by writing the perfect personal ad, and learning how to choose your words correctly.

      TABLE OF CONTENTS

      INTRODUCTION

      CHAPTER ONE Winning Reasons for Using the Personals Ads

      CHAPTER TWO Good ads, bad ads

      The Perfect Personal Ad

      CHAPTER THREE Make me a match

      Before You Write That Ad

      CHAPTER FOUR Reading between the lines

      LADIES ADS

      -Printed Ads:

      --Personal #1

      --Personal #2

      -Online Ads

      --Personal #1

      --Personal #2

      --Personal #3

      CHAPTER FIVE Something else

      Ladies: How Good Is That Ad You’re Writing?

      CHAPTER SIX There’s more between the lines

      Gentlemen’s Ads

      CHAPTER SEVEN The pitfalls

      Men: Do You Want To Attract That Perfect Mate?

      CHAPTER EIGHT Ole!

      Words That Work

      CHAPTER NINE Oops!

      Words That Are Taboo

      CHAPTER TEN Describing you, describing me

      Ah, Those Lines!

      CHAPTER ELEVEN Ladies Lines

      Females Use Them Too!

      CHAPTER TWELVE Say what?

      When The Telephone Rings

      CHAPTER THIRTEEN Perfection

      Winning Ads

      --Men

      --Ladies

      CHAPTER FOURTEEN Answering the perfect personal

      Winning Answers

      --For Men To Use

      --For Ladies To Use

      CHAPTER FIFTEEN Anticipation

      The Big Date

      CHAPTER SIXTEEN How was it?

      Rating Your Date

      CHAPTER SEVENTEEN Still shy?

      Expectations

      CHAPTER EIGHTEEN The charmers

      Personalities to Avoid

      --No Commitment Creep

      --Shakey Sap

      --Family First

      --Lazy Ear

      --Reach And Touch

      --Adventure Ape

      --Power Player

      --Imprisioned Imp

      --Gambling Gent

      --Ricky Rebel

      --Credit Criminal

      CHAPTER NINETEEN Be careful!

      More Tips When Meeting People

      CHAPTER ONE

      Winning Reasons for Using the Personals Ads

      There are many advantages to using the Personals Ads. By using the personals ads, you can meet more people. Many times while frequenting a bar, dance, night club, or singles organization, you may meet one person—if you’re lucky. Of course, if you are very outgoing—you could meet more. Many of us are shy—or afraid of rejection. Being shy is not a handicap with the personal ads. The initial introduction is made simply by an answer to an ad.

      Meeting more people means more fun. It also broadens your horizons. It helps you to make a wiser choice, as you have more to choose from.

      There is a safety factor in answering and placing personal ads. You don’t see the other person until you arrange to meet. The initial meeting is on neutral ground. A well-lighted restaurant in a well-lighted area for a cup of coffee, a drink, or for breakfast, lunch or dinner works well. You have your own means of transportation, which means that afterwards you can go home—by yourself.

      Another advantage to ads is that there is no commitment whatsoever. If it doesn’t work out, that’s it. You can call it quits. You haven’t committed to anything. You don’t have to. Not until you are ready; not until the relationship goes that far.

      The advantages far outweigh the disadvantages. Yet, to be honest, there are a few disadvantages. You can’t see the person first. Even a photograph leaves doubts. Is it the right person? Is it out of date? Then there’s the writing, the classified ad and the letter that follows. Is it truth? This book will help you read between those tricky and so often misleading lines.

      Many of the ads can be written for an online service, with some exceptions. You have the opportunity to submit a photo on the online dating service, so make sure you have a recent, good, clear one. You also may have to fill out an online form and answer some questions, so if you can’t use the ad of your choice as is, modify it to fit the form.

      Responses could be similar, but would most likely be sent via email, so be sure to spell check before sending it. You could also send a photo as an attachment—and again, make sure it’s a recent, good, clear one.

      CHAPTER TWO

      Good ads, bad ads

      THE PERFECT PERSONAL AD

      While reading the Personals Ads, whether in the newspaper, a singles paper, or online, the following questions may come to mind:

      • How do I tell a good man/woman from an attractive liar?

      • How do I avoid wasting a lot of time on the wrong man/woman?

      • How can I tell who is marriage material and who isn’t?

      These questions will be answered as you read through this book. You will not only learn how to write the perfect personal but will also learn:

      • To determine what you are looking for in a mate.

      • To read between the lines while reading the ads.

      • Why responses are acted upon.

      • How to write a winning response.

      • What words are eye catchers.

      • What words are taboo.

      • What to say on the telephone.

      • How to rate your date.

      Which lead up to how to find that perfect mate!

      CHAPTER THREE

      Make me a match

      BEFORE YOU WRITE THAT AD

      The first thing you need to do is to make a checklist of what you desire in a mate. Write down the first things that come to mind regarding appearance, manners, interests, values, and behavior.

      The following worksheet is designed to aid you in determining what it is you really are looking for. Check the items that describe your perfect mate.

      Height:__________ to __________ (give a range)

      Weight: _________ to __________ (give a range)

      Physical Condition: _____ fair _____ average _____ great _____ body builder

      Looks/Attractiveness: _____ fair _____ average _____ above average _____ not important

      Shares Feelings: _____ important _____ not important

      Sensitive to Others: _____ important _____ not important

      Temperament: _____ calm _____ moderate _____ likes to argue

      Self Confidence: _____ important _____ not important

      Emotionally Secure: _____ important _____ not important

      Communicative: _____ important _____ not important

      Talks About Self: _____ like _____ dislike

      Asks/Talks About You: _____ like _____ dislike

      Intimate Talk: _____ important _____ not important

      Intelligence: _____ average _____ bright _____ brilliant

      Education: _____ no formal _____ college degreed _____ extensive

      Family Background: _____ important _____ not important

      Ethnic Background: _____ important _____ not important

      Family Oriented: _____ important _____ not important

      Likes Children: _____ important _____ not important

      Income: _____ moderate _____ moderately wealthy _____ wealthy

      Generosity: _____ average _____ generous _____ very generous

      Activities/Interests: _____ some _____ many _____ same as yours _____ differs from yours

      Outgoing: _____ important _____ not important

      Problematic Free Lifestyle: _____ important _____ not important

      Reliability: _____ important _____ not important _____ very important

      Magnanimous Relationship: _____ important _____ not important

      Sexuality: _____ average _____ a big turn on

      Sexual Desire: _____ not important _____ moderate _____ high

      Sexual Activity: _____ traditional _____ selective _____ wild

      Equality in Marriage: _____ both equal _____ traditional

      You can add to this list if you wish—or make it more detailed. As an example, in addition to checking the level of attractiveness you desire, you may add: blonde hair, blue eyes, nice smile. Unless having a certain characteristic (eg: blonde hair) is important to you, being too specific rules out many available partners. List those characteristics that really are important to you.

      CHAPTER FOUR

      Reading between the lines

      LADIES ADS

      PRINTED ADS:

      The following ads were placed by women of various ages and physical descriptions. Each woman is seeking the perfect man for her and wrote her personal ad accordingly. The results are not always as intended. They may intrigue and surprise you. Following each ad are selected responses from the men. Then the woman who placed the ad responds to the men. Finally, there is some helpful advice.

      After reading these interesting letters, you will be more skilled at reading between the lines:

      • Anticipate the types of responses a woman receives by placing a certain ad.

      • Discover why these responded to the men who wrote them.

      • Find out what happened when they met.

      • See the truths and contradictions between the real men and the letters they wrote.

      • Learn some helpful advice for the next time.

      PERSONAL #1

      [F10000]

      Shapely, attractive, warm, creative, independent, intelligent, divorced, white female, seeks single/divorced man for relationship. I am a successful writer, 31 5’3" who enjoys life. You are an attractive, trim, open, well-educated, professional man who is also financially secure and fun loving. Photo please.

      This ad got 45 responses! (Below are the nine best!)

      RESPONSE #1

      Dear S.A.W.C.I.I.D.W.F.

      I want you to know this is the first time I have responded to a singles ad.

      I’m 30, almost 31, 5’8", graduate of the U, own my own business, an active man, sometimes called attractive, seeking a woman like yourself. I’m divorced and own my home in _________.

      If you are looking for good times, romance, cozy fires, candlelight dinners, champagne, long walks, good conversation, and a sense of humor, don’t just sit there—pick up the phone, and give me a call!

      Yours maybe,

      Roy

      [phone]

      P.S. I don’t have a lot of photos of myself so this will have to do.

      Why this one was answered: because he seemed nice, and his photo portrayed him as attractive.

      What happened: We met and talked for about an hour at the school

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