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    Silly Jokes
    Silly Jokes
    Silly Jokes
    Ebook69 pages1 hour

    Silly Jokes

    By James David

    4/5

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    About this ebook

    A good laugh has great long-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. It also helps you connect with other people. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your depression and anxiety and make you feel happier. This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherMahesh Dutt Sharma
    Release dateJan 29, 2014
    ISBN9781311174642
    Silly Jokes
    Author

    James David

    A prestigious author and journalist. Written more than 250 books. A freelance writer and writing is his passion.

    Read more from James David

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      Book preview

      Silly Jokes - James David

      Silly Jokes

      By James David

      Published by MdSharma

      Smashwords Edition

      © mds e-books 2014

      Smashwords License Statement

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Preface

      A good laugh has great long-term effects. When you start to laugh, it doesn't just lighten your load mentally, it actually induces physical changes in your body. Laughter can stimulate many organs. Laughter enhances your intake of oxygen-rich air, stimulates your heart, lungs and muscles, and increases the endorphins that are released by your brain. Laughter can also stimulate circulation and aid muscle relaxation, both of which help reduce some of the physical symptoms of stress.

      Laughter may ease pain by causing the body to produce its own natural painkillers. Laughter may also break the pain-spasm cycle common to some muscle disorders and Increase personal satisfaction. Laughter can also make it easier to cope with difficult situations. It also helps you connect with other people. Many people experience depression, sometimes due to chronic illnesses. Laughter can help lessen your depression and anxiety and make you feel happier. This ‘Jokes E-book’ of ours is an effort to dissolve your tensions in a solution of smiles, chuckles and laughter.

      -Publisher

      Table of Contents

      Chapter One : You forgot my toast

      Chapter Two : Wait a moment

      Chapter Three : Ever cheat on your wife

      Chapter Four : Everything went wrong

      Chapter Five : Road hazard

      Chapter One : You forgot my toast

      An 80 year old couple were having problems remembering things, so they decided to go to their doctor to get checked out to make sure nothing was wrong with them.

      When they arrived at the doctors, they explained to the doctor about the problems they were having with their memory. After checking the couple out, the doctor told them that they were physically okay but might want to start writing things down and make notes to help them remember things.

      The couple thanked the doctor and left. Later that night while watching TV, the man got up from his chair and his wife asked, Where are you going? He replied, To the kitchen. She asked, Will you get me a bowl of ice cream? He replied, Sure. She then asked him, Don’t you think you should write it down so you can remember it? He said, No, I can remember that.

      She then said, Well I would also like some strawberries on top. You had better write that down because I know you’ll forget that. He said, I can remember that, you want a bowl of ice cream with strawberries. She replied, Well I also would like whipped cream on top. I know you will forget that so you better write it down.

      With irritation in his voice, he said, I don’t need to write that down! I can remember that. He then fumes into the kitchen. After about 20 minutes he returned from the kitchen and handed her a plate of bacon and eggs. She stared at the plate for a moment and said angrily: I told you to write it down! You forgot my toast!

      #####

      One day a girl brings home her boyfriend and tells her father she wants to marry him. After talking to him for a while, he tells his daughter she can’t do it because he’s her half-brother. The same problem happens again four more times! The girl starts to get pissed off. She goes to her mom and says, Mom... What have you been doing all your life? Dad’s been going around laying every maiden in the town and now I can’t marry any of the five guys I like because they have turned out to be my half-brothers!!!

      Her mom replies, Don’t worry darling, you can marry any one of them you want, he isn’t really your dad.

      #####

      Mr. Jagmohan and his secretary are on a train to Jammu. They are just about to go to sleep when the secretary, who has the hots for her boss says in a seductive voice, I’m a little cold, and could I borrow your blanket? The man says, how would you like to be Mrs. Jagmohan for a while?

      The secretary jumps at the chance and begins to get out of bed. Then he replies, Good, then you can get your own damn blanket.

      #####

      A burglar breaks into a house. He sees a cd player that he wants so he takes it. Then he hears a voice God is watching you.

      He looks around with his flashlight wandering What The hell Was That?. He spots some Rs. on a table and takes it. Once again he hears a voice God is watching you.

      He hides in a corner trying to find where the voice came from. He spots a birdcage with a parrot in it! He goes over and asks Was that your voice?.

      It said yes. He then says What’s your name? It says Prophet.

      The burglar says "What kind

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