Quirk In Progress
()
About this ebook
Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture! Have a Euro sandwich with a side of Americana!
An app that translates Keith Richards into English. Disney buys the Holy Land just after Chicago changes its name to Boston. Proof that Ringo broke up the Beatles and Twitter success in 10 easy tweets.
A collection of humorous articles and cheaply personal musings that cover the full spectrum from high tech to low brow.
Offered as a free e-book (wherever possible) in the hope that you’ll be entertained and intrigued enough to read "No Roads Lead to Rome" and "Aqueduct to Nowhere."
R.S. Gompertz
It's 123 A.D. On the edge of the Roman Empire, a dead governor leaves behind the opportunity of a lifetime. Mysteriously promoted, a senator’s son finds himself in an ancient world of trouble. Within days of taking office, Hispania’s taxpayers are in open revolt, the legionaries depart to build Hadrian's Wall, and the once-sleepy province is rocked by slave revolts, bread riots, and fad religions. A quixotic saga steeped in humor and history, "No Roads Lead to Rome" chronicles the clumsy schemes of the new governor and his shadowy advisor, a superstitious centurion's struggle to save his faith in the faded ideals of the Republic, and a Jewish rebel's reluctant vow to change the course of history. All are pitted against the Gods, the Emperor, and the decline and fall of damn near everything. It's 123 A.D.-a time not unlike the present-and No Roads Lead to Rome.
Read more from R.S. Gompertz
No Roads Lead to Rome Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Expat's Pajamas: Barcelona Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Related to Quirk In Progress
Related ebooks
The Hard Times: The First 40 Years Rating: 2 out of 5 stars2/5Chicago Flashbulbs: A Quarter Century of News, Politics, Sports, and Show Business (1987-2012) Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Rise and Fall of a Super Freak: And Other True Stories of Black Men Who Made History Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsPUNKS Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRolling Stones 69 Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Human Punk Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Do-Re-Mi Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Naked Truth About Harrison Marks Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDavid Bowie & Mick Jagger Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsDavid Bowie & Mick Jagger: And Other Rock & Roll Urban Myths Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Elephants Graveyard Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMisfits & Miscreants: An Oral History of Canadian Punk Rock Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLiving Among the Great Pretenders Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSwim Through the Darkness: My Search for Craig Smith and the Mystery of Maitreya Kali Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsMick: The Wild Life and Mad Genius of Jagger Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Hammered: Heavy Tales from the Hard-Rock Highway Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Beatles! The Inside Story Behind the World's Greatest Rock and Roll Band by Kerry Kensington Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Generation X: A Hidden History of Rock’s Defining Era (1969-2000): Generation X Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsRevenge of the Donut Boys: True Stories of Lust, Fame, Survival and Multiple Personality Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5House of Fun: The Story of Madness Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Jesus and Mary Chain: Barbed Wire Kisses Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5I Am the Voice Left from Drinking Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsQueen: The Early Years Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Gold Coast: Stories From A Suburban Shangri-La Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsJay-Z: The King of America Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Pop the Clutch: Thrilling Tales of Rockabilly, Monsters, and Hot Rod Horror Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Never Drank the Kool-Aid: Essays Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Girl With 39 Graves Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsSympathy for the Drummer: Why Charlie Watts Matters Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Rocky Horror Picture Show FAQ: Everything Left to Know About the Campy Cult Classic Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratings
Satire For You
I Am A Cat Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Candy Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Futurological Congress Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5An Accidental Christ: The Story of Jesus (As Told by His Uncle) Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Heart of a Dog Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5Exalted Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5House of Cards Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Friday Black Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5As I Lay Dying Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Utopia Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A History of the African-American People (Proposed) by Strom Thurmond: A Novel Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsLawyering By Dummies Student Expanded Edition Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5Kill for Love Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/51900: Or; The Last President Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Faggots Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Line to Kill: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Third Policeman: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Heart Sutra Rating: 0 out of 5 stars0 ratingsThe Five People You Meet in Hell: An Unauthorized Parody Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Dice Man: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The White Boy Shuffle: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Trout Fishing in America Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Between the Bridge and the River: A Novel Rating: 5 out of 5 stars5/5The Crimson Petal and the White: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Clown Brigade Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5Black Buck: A Read with Jenna Pick Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5The Bonfire of the Vanities: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5No One Left to Come Looking for You: A Novel Rating: 3 out of 5 stars3/5The Little Old Lady Who Broke All the Rules: A Novel Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5A Dog's Heart Rating: 4 out of 5 stars4/5
Reviews for Quirk In Progress
0 ratings0 reviews
Book preview
Quirk In Progress - R.S. Gompertz
Introduction
This is a collection of my favorite recent articles from Sage News, the Canadian humor site (www.sagenews.ca) , and posts from my blog. My musings cover the full spectrum of topics or events that seem worthy of a lampoon’s barb.
I offer this as a free e-book (wherever possible) in the hope that you’ll be entertained and intrigued enough to check out my humorous novels.
Enjoy!
RSG
1-Jan-2014
Website
Blog
Twitter @NoRoadsToRome
Table of Contents
Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture
New App Translates Keith Richards into English
Ringo Marries Yoko. Admits He Broke Up The Beatles
Local Garage Band Perfects Proud Mary
Miss Piggy: Bitter and Alone
Americana
Chicago Changes Name to Boston
US Black Friday Riots Now Legal
Euro Sandwich
Save Thor’s Children
UK Abolishes English to Save Jobs
EU Austerity Plan Forces Spain to Sell its History
Cheaply Personal
One Star Review
Lunchtime in the Garden of Good and Evil
My Facebook Divorce
How I Lost the War
Political Incorrectness
Disney Buys the Holy Land
Put Saturn Back in Saturnalia
Republicans Were Right: Obamacare Unleashes Armageddon
US Immigration Service Refuses Entry to Migrating Geese
Science, Technology, and All That
Top 10 Reasons to Avoid Top 10 Lists
Twitter Success in 10 Easy Tweets
Higgs Wins Nobel Prize for Finding Particle He Lost
TED Talks Cancelled for Lack of New Ideas
New App Translates Keith Richards into English
Rolling Stones fans are still celebrating the recent announcement of Keith Speak,
a new app that translates Keith Richards’ speaking patterns into intelligible English.
Known for his shrill harmonies, two-fingered guitar style and fascination with pharmacology, the founding member of the group has been largely incomprehensible since 1969. Fans and critics agree that I just snorted me daddy’s ashes
was Keith’s last intelligible sentence.
Until now.
Keith Speak
uses computational linguistics to break the rock star’s sentences into a series of basic sounds and then rearrange them into known words and attempted phrases. App reviewers agree that the results are generally better than Keith’s original sentences.
That said, there is no real way to verify accuracy. What sounds like Keith shouting Rock you black smoke Tillamook cheese factory
during a recent concert in Los Angeles translates to It’s good to be back in Portland.
While critics were quick point out that the Stones’ recent tour didn’t pass through Portland, the app creator countered that Keith