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    Quirk In Progress
    Quirk In Progress
    Quirk In Progress
    Ebook52 pages28 minutes

    Quirk In Progress

    By R.S. Gompertz

    ()

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    About this ebook

    Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture! Have a Euro sandwich with a side of Americana!

    An app that translates Keith Richards into English. Disney buys the Holy Land just after Chicago changes its name to Boston. Proof that Ringo broke up the Beatles and Twitter success in 10 easy tweets.

    A collection of humorous articles and cheaply personal musings that cover the full spectrum from high tech to low brow.

    Offered as a free e-book (wherever possible) in the hope that you’ll be entertained and intrigued enough to read "No Roads Lead to Rome" and "Aqueduct to Nowhere."

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherR.S. Gompertz
    Release dateFeb 5, 2014
    ISBN9781311543639
    Quirk In Progress
    Author

    R.S. Gompertz

    It's 123 A.D. On the edge of the Roman Empire, a dead governor leaves behind the opportunity of a lifetime. Mysteriously promoted, a senator’s son finds himself in an ancient world of trouble. Within days of taking office, Hispania’s taxpayers are in open revolt, the legionaries depart to build Hadrian's Wall, and the once-sleepy province is rocked by slave revolts, bread riots, and fad religions. A quixotic saga steeped in humor and history, "No Roads Lead to Rome" chronicles the clumsy schemes of the new governor and his shadowy advisor, a superstitious centurion's struggle to save his faith in the faded ideals of the Republic, and a Jewish rebel's reluctant vow to change the course of history. All are pitted against the Gods, the Emperor, and the decline and fall of damn near everything. It's 123 A.D.-a time not unlike the present-and No Roads Lead to Rome.

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      Book preview

      Quirk In Progress - R.S. Gompertz

      Introduction

      This is a collection of my favorite recent articles from Sage News, the Canadian humor site (www.sagenews.ca) , and posts from my blog. My musings cover the full spectrum of topics or events that seem worthy of a lampoon’s barb.

      I offer this as a free e-book (wherever possible) in the hope that you’ll be entertained and intrigued enough to check out my humorous novels.

      Enjoy!

      RSG

      1-Jan-2014

      Website

      Blog

      Facebook

      Twitter @NoRoadsToRome

      Table of Contents

      Snap, Crackle, Pop Culture

      New App Translates Keith Richards into English

      Ringo Marries Yoko. Admits He Broke Up The Beatles

      Local Garage Band Perfects Proud Mary

      Miss Piggy: Bitter and Alone

      Americana

      Chicago Changes Name to Boston

      US Black Friday Riots Now Legal

      Euro Sandwich

      Save Thor’s Children

      UK Abolishes English to Save Jobs

      EU Austerity Plan Forces Spain to Sell its History

      Cheaply Personal

      One Star Review

      Lunchtime in the Garden of Good and Evil

      My Facebook Divorce

      How I Lost the War

      Political Incorrectness

      Disney Buys the Holy Land

      Put Saturn Back in Saturnalia

      Republicans Were Right: Obamacare Unleashes Armageddon

      US Immigration Service Refuses Entry to Migrating Geese

      Science, Technology, and All That

      Top 10 Reasons to Avoid Top 10 Lists

      Twitter Success in 10 Easy Tweets

      Higgs Wins Nobel Prize for Finding Particle He Lost

      TED Talks Cancelled for Lack of New Ideas

      New App Translates Keith Richards into English

      Rolling Stones fans are still celebrating the recent announcement of Keith Speak, a new app that translates Keith Richards’ speaking patterns into intelligible English.

      Known for his shrill harmonies, two-fingered guitar style and fascination with pharmacology, the founding member of the group has been largely incomprehensible since 1969. Fans and critics agree that I just snorted me daddy’s ashes was Keith’s last intelligible sentence.

      Until now.

      Keith Speak uses computational linguistics to break the rock star’s sentences into a series of basic sounds and then rearrange them into known words and attempted phrases. App reviewers agree that the results are generally better than Keith’s original sentences.

      That said, there is no real way to verify accuracy. What sounds like Keith shouting Rock you black smoke Tillamook cheese factory during a recent concert in Los Angeles translates to It’s good to be back in Portland.

      While critics were quick point out that the Stones’ recent tour didn’t pass through Portland, the app creator countered that Keith

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