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    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
    Ebook113 pages3 hours

    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

    By Taylor Young

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    About this ebook

    From time to time it’s entertaining to watch others squirm in hot water. The mean streak in us loves stories of woe – especially when it involves someone else. Sometimes, we are the blundering idiots with a tale of despair for others to be pleased about. Either way, the good deeds that don’t go unpunished make such juicy stories!

    Readers seemed delighted with the sagas I included in my last book, How I Lost A Million Dollars Twice. I hadn't thought about those tales being of the "no good deeds" flavor especially, but they did have a certain twist. And now it appears that the anecdotes about the blown Cadillac coup, cops, inheritances gone AWOL, a neighbor's psycho yappy dogs, out of control credit cards, and a singing pink piggy that bit the dust - well, they really hit a nerve.

    So, here you go, dear enthusiasts. I'm giving you what you asked for: your favorite chronicles from How I Lost A Million Dollars Twice, and a plentiful addition of new laugh out loud tales of woe. Let's get started. And just so you know, the accounts in this book are based on actual events, which up the snicker factor considerably more than if I was just blowing smoke in your face. All names have been changed to protect both the innocent and fools alike. Cheers.

    LanguageEnglish
    PublisherTaylor Young
    Release dateJan 20, 2014
    ISBN9781311634146
    No Good Deed Goes Unpunished
    Author

    Taylor Young

    Taylor Young is a musician, engineer, blogger, book author and family man living in the Seattle, Washington area. “I love writing, whether it be song lyrics, technical papers, ranting in a blog, or more thought out topics worthy of a book. It is remarkable that writers today have a voice through easy online publishing. So much more time is freed up for letting the creative juices flow, which instead used to be spent pursuing and persuading publishers. The world benefits from this new freedom. I’m glad to be a part of it.”

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      Book preview

      No Good Deed Goes Unpunished - Taylor Young

      No Good Deed Goes Unpunished

      Published by Taylor Young at Smashwords

      Copyright 2014 Taylor Young

      Smashwords Edition, License Notes

      This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.

      Cover design by Tatiana Vila, Vila Design

      Introduction

      Love To Watch ‘Em Squirm

      You should write a frickin' book that's nothing but story after story about how no good deed goes unpunished.

      Readers said this in numerous ways in response to particular sagas I included in my book, How I Lost A Million Dollars Twice. I never thought about these tales as no good deeds especially. But it seems that the anecdotes about the blown Cadillac coup, cops, inheritances gone AWOL, your neighbor's psycho yappy dogs, out of control credit cards, and a singing pink piggy that bit the dust - well, they really hit a nerve.

      So, here you go, dear enthusiasts. I'm giving you what you asked for: your favorite chronicles from How I Lost A Million Dollars Twice, and a plentiful addition of new tales of woe.

      Let's get started. For those of you who are skeptical of where I'm going with this, I'll explain. Have you ever wondered why bad things happen to good people? Why, sometimes, can’t you win for losing? Why does crap often hit the fan after a noble deed is carried out, born with good intentions? Are you the bug more often, or the windshield?

      If I knew the answer to these questions, I’d be writing a book destined to change the world and make me rich. But I don’t think either is going to happen from this book.

      Yet I do know one thing: from time to time it’s entertaining to watch others squirm in hot water. The mean streak in us loves stories of woe – especially when it involves someone else. Sometimes, we are the blundering idiots with a tale of despair for others to be pleased about. Either way, the good deeds that don’t go unpunished make such juicy stories!

      The sagas in this book are based on actual events, which up the snicker factor considerably more than if I was just blowing smoke down your pie hole. All names have been changed to protect both the innocent and fools alike.

      *******

      Chapter 1

      Cat’s Paw

      Have you ever had compassion for a fellow animal lover, only to later wish you'd kept your big trap shut?

      Okay, get ready because this kind of stuff doesn’t happen every day. Good thing, too, because if it did there would be a lot of upset cat owners, including my wife.

      A few years ago, my brother-in-law, Mike, was working off an item from his wife’s honey do list, a landscaping project in his side yard alongside the driveway. As he dug with his shovel, he heard a crunch. The sound was not what he might have expected if hitting a piece of wood, plastic, or a rock.

      Carefully digging around the item, he discovered what appeared to be animal remains. Upon closer inspection, he could tell it was a cat. It must have been in a fight, or more likely, it had been eaten, as there were only two furry paws and a collar.

      Upon closer inspection, he noticed that the collar still had a small metal ID tag attached to it. Brushing the dirt and cat hair off of the ID tag, two names and a phone number became visible: Lucky, Bernie Yang, 509-555-4812.

      Now, Mike had a little dilemma. Surely the owner never knew what had happened to his cat, Lucky. That is, unless some of Lucky’s other body parts already turned up in the neighborhood and had found their way back to the owner somehow. Hmm, probably unlikely.

      Assuming that Bernie had never known what happened to his poor cat, would he now be relieved to find out about Lucky, at least getting some closure after continually worrying and wondering what had happened to the feline?

      Or perhaps Bernie had held out hope that Lucky merely ran off and was now the spoiled pet that someone else had found and grown to adore. If that were the case, then how might Bernie react, not just in finding out that Lucky was dead, but to discover that Lucky was very unlucky indeed, possibly ending up as a dinner buffet for a wild pack of neighborhood dogs?

      Mike took a chance that Bernie would appreciate having some closure on the whereabouts of Lucky. He called the number on the ID tag.

      Harro, dis Bernie Yang? came a heavy Asian accent.

      Oh crap, he may not understand what I’m about to tell him, thought Mike. This should have been red flag number one: a language barrier. For an instant, Mike thought that he should just quickly hang up. He probably should have.

      Instead, risking further humiliation, Mike continued, Hello, my name is Mike Harding. I live over on Chestnut Street, 347 Chestnut. I found your cat in my yard, but…

      Before Mike could finish his sentence, Bernie shouted with enthusiasm, Lucky live! I knew he will. Brown collar, yes?

      Yes, the collar is brown. But Mr. Yang, I…, Mike started.

      I be over, Bernie quickly said. Wife be so happy. Thank you much. Yes, thank you much. Click.

      Gulp. Great. Now what the hell am I going to say to him when he gets here? Mike said out loud. He sheepishly found a brown paper bag to put the paws and collar in, set the bag by the driveway, and continued with his digging in the side yard.

      A half an hour later, Mike went into the house to ask his wife whether Mr. Yang had called. When Mike’s wife heard the story about digging up the bones and collar, she at first was quiet. But when Mike told about his conversation with Mr. Yang, she burst out laughing.

      You mean to tell me that Mr. Yang thinks his cat, Lucky, is alive, and he thinks he’s coming over to pick him up? she said, now giggling even louder. What the heck are you going to tell him?

      I don’t know, Mike mumbled as he sighed and returned outside.

      While continuing to dig along the driveway, Mike nervously waited for Bernie Yang to show up. Would Mr. Yang be sad, or angry, to find out the truth about his dear cat? Mike waited and waited. Mr. Yang never showed up.

      Even after Mike and his wife had finished their dinner, Mr. Yang still had not come to the house. Mike finally went and got the paper bag with the cat remains and collar and put it in the garbage can at the side of the house.

      The next day, Wednesday, came and went. Mike gave up hope that Mr. Yang would ever show up, and thanked heaven that he hadn’t. After Mike got home from work on Thursday, he moved his garbage can out to the curb, as it was garbage pickup day the next day.

      Later on Thursday evening, a hopeful visitor drove his large, brown sedan towards 347 Chestnut Street. Looking over at his cat carrier sitting on the passenger’s seat, Mr. Yang had a look of pleasant expectation at the car rumbled to a stop in front of Mike’s house.

      Mike spotted the brown sedan from his living room window, having just sat down to relax with his wife in front of the idiot screen to watch their favorite reality TV

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